Tuesday
March 23, 1933
6:00 pm

Dear Diary,
I had waited for this day from so long and tomorrow it's finally happening . Now that this dream of ours is finally on the threshold of completion, I feel like flying high in the sky. I want to jump, rather dance with joy and express my happiness to the whole world. The whole world needs to know that tomorrow, Pati Babu's Bondita will finally become a barrister.

This journey has not been easy, rather it has been preached with selfless love, courage and laced with difficulties. The difficulties we faced all along ended up making us stronger.

When I first came here, in this university, all I faced was sheer discrimination by these Brits who after snatching away everything from my country dare laugh out loud. I am an Indian, this was enough as a reason for them to hold a grudge against me. There in India, under the British Raj, my fellow countrymen are treated mercilessly and here in London, Indian students are held guilty and punished for the sin that they never committed. I wonder how Pati Babu handled all this. I was bullied at first. I used to weep silently, sulking in a corner of my room. Just because my hairline was adorned with sindoor, they used to taunt me and my country. When they got to know that I was married at 11, they again made a mockery out of it and ended up blaming my country. I was so agitated but I was alone. They made faces at me, insulted me and the other Indians who were there along with me ended up ignoring everything as they were also treated in the same manner. Even they were helpless like me.

Pati babu was not with me and he had told me to tell all my problems to him. So, I ended up writing a letter, addressing every wrong that I was facing. I thought he would console me. But then again, he ended up scolding me when I read the first few words of the letter he sent. He told me to speak up, to stand up for myself. He told me I cannot fall prey to this and I have my own voice which cannot be silenced by these baseless remarks of these people. I cried profusely at first as I thought Pati babu only blamed me instead of consoling me but as I continued reading the letter, I realized that he was actually telling me to be strong and independent. These people actually had no right to treat us like that when they were actually living because of us. It was only then that I realized that I cannot stay like this. I had to speak up for myself. His words always have that push I need to spread these wings and fly.

And revolution begins at home. I had to change myself first in order to change the world. I realized I cannot cry silently bearing all the pain. I was not raised like this. I decided to be strong and I had made up my mind to shut the mouths of these people who think that just because they are ruling over my country, they tend to become superior and get the right to treat us mercilessly in whichever way they want.

And thus, I ended up being where I am today. The people who used to push me in the hallway, look up to me now and their jaws drop when I'm praised by teachers. I silenced them through my actions first and then my sharp words ended up sealing their mouths forever. They couldn't even look me straight in the eyes but I never treated them the way they used to treat me. We Indians never initiate the war but when someone dares to raise question against our prestige and principles, we leave no stone unturned to teach them a lesson.

I agree my country is in dire stress, not only because of the British Raj, but because it is chained by those orthodox beliefs and rituals that tend to make it fall and hinder its progress. Not every man in my country is like my Pati Babu who will fight the whole world to get his wife her fundamental right, education. Women in my country are fighting a war against their own family, against their own kin. Young girls are forced to conceive children at such a young age. The very thought of this sends a shiver down my body. Sati pratha is still in practice. Though girls below 14 cannot get married now because of the law that was passed but still , I fear and I firmly believe that Child Marriage is still in practice. Widows are treated mercilessly, how can I forget about my Maa? Women are raped and then silenced just because the so called society tells them to do that. Women are treated like objects to satisfy a man's sexual pleasure and to quench his thirst. Not all men are like that, they want their wives, their daughters to get freedom but then again when society intervenes, they remain reserved and their voices are silenced before they are heard. With the gripping fear as each day passes, a woman dies a thousand times before her death. It's the fear that kills her even before her actual demise. When a girl is born, she is told to remain quiet and as she turns eight, she is married off to some stranger. When she hits her puberty, she is forced to conceive children and here comes an end to her innocence. Is it not sexual assault on the girl? Is she not exactly 'raped' by her very own husband through this? Just because she happens to be bound in a relation with him, will it not be named a rape? Not only does this affect her physically, but it leaves an emotional scar on her mind that lasts forever. Her muffled sobs remain only inside the four walls of her house or rather, inside her broken heart. Women are burnt down for dowry! Is materialistic pleasure more important than a girl's life? They have to hide themselves or rather cage themselves just because a man may think about doing something vicious to her. Why does she need to hide her face if the fault lies within the man and not her!?

I don't know why I'm in tears every time I think about those girls who have no freedom to break the shackles of this society. Not every girl gets a life like me, where she is treasured and loved. Not everyone gets a family like me, whose family members won't think twice before killing the person who tends to hurt her and limit her freedom. Not every girl gets a husband like me who devoted his entire life fighting the society for her education, for her rights.

I don't know why I'm in tears all of a sudden. But I know I have to wipe them off. I have to work towards achieving equal rights for my fellow girls. How can I forget that I need to bring about a revolution in the society, in the orthodox mindset of the people? There's a fire within me that will never get extinguished. The seed was sown long ago but now it has started to grow and I'll make sure it turns out to be a big tree that can shade numerous women and little girls. I want to make sure that my country is free from the clutches of the British Raj along with the sick mentality of the people who tend to limit it's progress and hinder it's everlasting beauty.

This is the promise I make to myself today but before anything I need the support of someone once again. It's through his tireless efforts, his never ending courage that I'm able to even think about revolution. I have a confession to make. I want him to know that I love him so much, that even if someday he asks me to give away my life for him, I'll not think twice before fulfilling this wish. My life is a blessing that he gave me.

When I have Pati Babu by my side, holding my hand tightly, I'm sure to fly breaking all odds and overcoming all obstacles and I'll make sure I make him know that.

Barrister Bondita Roy Chaudhary

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I swear I didn't plan this. I was supposed to write something romantic through a diary entry, I planned it before hand but I ended up writing this. I kept it short as I think diary entries are short.
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