How could I do this? How can I be so cruel? I won't say it was a mistake. It's a sin. How dare you Anirudh Roy Chaudhary? What were you thinking? What was on your mind?

I looked at my hands. I stood up from the couch with a jerk and went towards the kitchen. I was still not able to clear my head up with those thoughts. I should be punished. I deserve punishment. Yes, I should be punished. My eyes fell on the left unburnt hot charcoal pieces placed near the stove. I went down to my knees and picked one of the pieces. I ran it slowly through my palms and a silent gasp escaped my lips which was filled with pain. I made the hot charcoal burn my hand slowly as I muttered, "Mr. Anirudh Roy Chaudhary, you deserve it anyway. It's nothing compared to the pain you gave her today."

FLASHBACK

I slowly walked towards the study. I was so tired after the hearing of that case. This case has been the most difficult case in my entire career and still, I was short of evidences to prove my client innocent. I was so stressed. I surely had overworked myself but this was usual for me these days. I used to work for hours. Trust me, I'm not boasting at all. The work load has been so much that I was not able to concentrate on anything and severe headaches used to knock everyday! I wish I could just get some solace but as I entered, I was greeted by something, actually someone, which made my blood boil.

Saudamini stood in front of me in all her glory. Why was she in my study anyway? Where was Bondita? Saudamini was sent to jail 10 years ago. She must've been released but that doesn't make any sense of her being here.

I frowned, anger visible in my eyes, " What are you doing here, Saudamini?"

"I brought her here." said Bondita, as she appeared from behind me.

I was shocked. Bondita was well versed with everything that Saudamini did years ago to our family and to her as well. I took a few steps back , being unable to analyze the happenings in front of me. The clock ticked 12 and I fell down on the couch with a thud.

I clenched my fists. There was so much going on inside me. I was already frustrated because of the case and now, Bondita was all dolled up in front of me with the woman I hate the most. The only emotion I feel for Saudamini is complete hatred which simply cannot be described. What she did years ago to my Bondita and of course , my family was unforgivable.

"Do I need to ask or will you tell me the reason, Bondita?"I composed myself and tried not to shout.

Bondita walked timidly towards me as she knew I was on the edge and I would blast anytime with anger.

She knelt in front of me and looked at me.

She took my hands in hers as she tried to calm me down and said ,"She'll stay here."

I felt as if someone swept away the ground beneath my feet. I looked at her in awe, confusion and frustration. My blood was boiling. I jerked her hand off and stood up and walked away as my back faced her.

No one was home, thankfully.

I finally erupted in rage ," Have you gone insane, Bondita?! You are well aware that I hate this woman?! I cannot stand her at any cost. She will not stay here any longer and yes, that's final!"

As soon as those words left my mouth, I marched towards Saudamini as I wanted this woman out of my house as soon as possible. But then again, Bondita stood in front of me like a wall! What was she trying to do?

"Bondita, move away!"

"No!"

"Bondita , you are testing my patience!! Move away!" I shouted on top of my voice. Bondita shivered and I cursed myself under my breath. My anger brings out the best of my emotions!

I said calmly,"Bondita, please, move away."

I held her shoulders and looked into her eyes.

She spoke ," Pati Babu, please let me explain."

Reluctantly, I nodded and sat back on the couch again to hear what she has to say.

She moved back to where Saudamini was standing and held her hands which irked me again. What has this Saudamini done to my Bondita? I don't trust Saudamini anyway.

Bondita took a deep breath and finally spoke," I trust her , Patibabu. I agree what she has done is unforgivable and I know that you are completely against the idea of letting her stay. But, is it completely her fault?"

Her voice was breaking as tears brimmed in her eyes.

With tears, she continued," Am I not exactly the reason for all her pain?"

I was stunned again and I stood up as my Bondita was crying over something that was not at all her fault. But she gestured me to sit down and let her complete with her hands folded.

My heart was breaking already. The whole Tulsipur knows how much I hate those tears in her eyes.

She was speaking again as her voice broke," If I was not there in the first place, she would have had a different life altogether with you. You loved each other anyway. Unknowingly , I snatched everything away from her. She was never a sinner. I made her one. She would never have tried to follow the wrong path if I was not there. Her life would've been much better, Pati Babu. Is it not my fault? Unknowingly and unintentionally, I stole everything from her."

My Bondita fell down on her knees. I was once again taken aback. I rushed to her and immediately knelt in front of her. I glared at Saudamini for once, she must have filled it all in Bondita's mind. I don't trust that woman.

I cupped Bondita's face with both my palms and rubbed her tears with my thumbs and I could feel how irritated Saudamini was.

Fitrat badal paati hai kya kabhi?

Bondita looked at me. Her eyes were red and this made my heart break once again. While still cupping her rosy cheeks, I explained calmly, "Bondita, you were meant to be my wife. We are united by destiny. No one can change it. Saudamini was just not meant to be in my life. Some things are just not meant to be."

I once again glared at Saudamini and spoke again," Saudamini chose the wrong path. She could've chosen a different life for herself. It is only our choice what we want to be and what we decide to be. She decided to be a sinner, a cunning woman who plots against other people. How is it your fault then? Bondita, she chose this life. It was her decision. She could've moved on, right? But she didn't. She chose to be evil, no one is responsible for her deeds other than she, herself. We are solely responsible for everything that is right or wrong with our life. We cannot blame anyone else because we create our own fate."

Bondita was listening to me intently. My Bondita is indeed fierce but she gets manipulated by emotions. She is my life. She was feeling guilty for the mistake that she never committed.

I looked at Saudamini, once again with disgust and anger.

I gazed lovingly at Bondita once more as I said,"Bondita, you already know that you are my life. You are the one I love. Please for me, don't cry. I'd die of guilt if you cry anymore"

As soon as I said that, Bondita immediately wrapped her hands around me. She hugged me tightly, with her head on my chest and I hugged her back with love and relief. She cried profusely, wetting my shirt. She clenched my shirt and tears brimmed in my eyes because Bondita was crying. We were both sitting on the floor and we cried.

From the corner of my eye, I could see Saudamini muttering something under her breath. I was right. She never changed. She was the same. She was clearly irritated with my proximity with Bondita and I made sure that her blood boiled. I pulled Bondita closer and held her more tightly not wanting to let her go.

After a while, we composed ourselves and stood up. I wrapped my hands around Bondita's shoulder and asked her, "Do you still want her to stay here? "

I pointed at Saudamini. Bondita didn't say anything and that was enough to make sure that Bondita had no objection in letting Saudamini out.

I gestured Saudamini to leave as I said, "Please get out of my house as soon as possible."

She started to walk but abruptly stopped and turned around.

She looked at Bondita and then at me.

She said ,"Anirudh, do you know one thing? Bondita is bad luck actually."

She was saying things that made no sense at all. Though I was a bit irritated but when Bondita smiled at me, I knew that whatever Saudamini said didn't matter at all.

Saudamini said again, " How much I wish!"

I raised an eyebrow.

"How much I wish she was dead!"

"SAUDAMINI!!" I shouted on top of my voice as I marched towards her with great agility.

"How dare you?" I shouted again. I stood in front of her.

She blurted poison again," Why? Did my words hurt you? She should be burnt alive and she should just rot in hell even after her death and she should suffer all her life!!"

This broke my patience. No one has the right to wish this for my Bondita. No one can curse her like that!

"Saudamini!" I roared and slapped her.

But I didn't slap Saudamini. Bondita came in front of her out of nowhere and I, unknowingly, slapped my Bondita. I looked at my hand which was trembling. I couldn't believe what I just did. I raised my hand on Bondita! How could I be so heartless!

Saudamini left almost immediately after that.

Bondita held her cheeks and fell on the ground with a thud. I broke a promise I made years ago.

I knelt down as my voice shivered," Bon......Bondita.........I didn't mean to............"

She raised her hand and stopped me. She looked up at me and her eyes carried immense anger and pain at the same time.

She uttered," Pati Babu, I am not upset because you slapped me. I know you didn't mean to slap me. But how could you even think of slapping a woman? This is what has hurt me. Why do you always go against your own principles when you are angry? Saudamini is a woman, though she has hurt you and me, but you only told me right now, it is in our hands what we choose to be. She was just saying all this to make you angry and you let her win."

She stood up immediately, controlling her sobs. She ran away from the study as I heard the jingling of her anklets fade away, I broke down crying , cursing myself fervently.

END OF FLASHBACK

The charcoal had started to show its affect on my skin. I slapped her with this hand. I don't deserve Bondita's love when I'm the reason of her pain.

"Patibabu!!" I heard a familiar squeal.

Bondita rushed to me immediately and made me stand up. She put my hands immediately inside cold water. I was awestruck, simply, stunned.

Her eyes had tears and she continously said something," Patibabu , you........."

But I paid no attention to what she way saying. I was just so lost in her face which carried tears because I was hurt. She is the medicine to all my pain, my Bondita.

She was panicking and she cursed me for doing this to myself.

"What is this Patibabu?"she glared at me with teary eyes.

" I deserve it." I almost choked and tears brimmed in my eyes. I turned away.

She turned me around and looked at me.

"Patibabu.. but.."

I couldn't control anymore. I pulled her towards me immediately and hugged her tightly.

"I'm so sorry, Bondita. Forgive me please. Please."

We broke the hug.

I looked at her cheek, it was red. I banged my burnt hand against the table beside me.

Bondita looked at me again, glared at me actually and shook her head in a no. She cupped my face and wiped my tears.

Though it was hurting, I caressed her cheek where I dare slap her. With my one hand around her waist and the other wrapped carefully around her neck, I blew on her red cheek as tears again brimmed in my eyes. She gasped at the closeness.

I pulled her close and placed a loving kiss on her red cheek as she surrendered herself in my arms.

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Hey guys! Sorry for the late update! It's a bit long this time. Give your views and don't forget to vote and comment.