XVIII / My Body Is A Haunted House

It's the middle of the night, two days after the conversation with Alina when a hand shakes Vera's shoulder gently, waking her from sleep.

Before she even consciously notices what she is doing, Vera's body reacts, grabbing one of her daggers, the one she keeps under her pillow, and hauling herself at the person towering above her, face only a few inches from hers.

Nikolai hits the ground with a dull noise, Vera above him and the dagger in her right hand embeds itself right next to his face in the ground. His eyes widen a little as he glances at the blade, reflecting him in the soft flicker of the lantern.

"While I have to say this is not the time I imagined you on top of me, I have to admit, I am strangely unsurprised that a dagger is involved when it happens." He says after a long moment and Vera scowls at him.

"What are you doing?" She grumbles, still mostly asleep and her mind still sluggish because the idiot woke her in the middle of the night, judging by the darkness outside the small window.

"Waking you."

"Why."

"Maybe I just missed conversing with you. It is a highlight of my day."

"Nikolai, I swear to all that is holy now is not the time." Why can this man not answer her questions straight up for once instead of using at least four whole sentences to say what he could do with four words?

He tilts his head, looking like he is making himself good and well comfortable with her weight on him right there on the wood floor of the cabin and her dagger only two finger-widths from his face. "So you do believe in something? I mean otherwise, you threat would not make a good threat if it's all the same to you."

Vera narrows her eyes at him. "I don't see how that's making any difference. A threat is a threat, no matter in whose name and I am prepared to go through with in either way."

"But is it really a threat if you don't put any importance behind the name you're using?"

"Sobachka, I will cut you up like a fish," Vera hisses quietly, her eyes flashing as she leans forward. "Is that enough of a threat to you?"

He smiles up at her, tucking one of his arms under his head, looking like he does not have a care in the world. "I mean I always know you mean your threats, but somebody else might not. Just looking out for them."

Vera's jaw sets a little. "Right." She says, not believing a word coming out of his mouth.

Nikolai's grin only tucks up a little further as he musters her, before it slowly slips away. It is replaced by something different, something tender and warm. Something that reminds Vera of...

Her chest constricts in fear at the thought, and she sits up, yanking the dagger out of the ground.

Nikolai, she wants to say. Don't do this to me. Don't look at me like that.

He is breaking her heart all over again without even realizing it.

Getting up, Vera smooths her undershirt out and grabs her boots before she sits down on the edge of one of the chairs. "What is happening?" She asks, her eyes firmly on her hands as she puts on her boots, Nikolai sitting up slowly.

"We're changing ships."

Vera stops, giving him a look. "Now?"

"Rather now than entering Ravka in the middle of the day where everyone can see."

Her eyebrows draw up a little. "Entering Ravka? Where even are we?"

"Fifteen miles off the West Ravkan coast." Nikolai replies, half shrugging as he drags a hand through his hair, the unusual red color almost normal to Vera now.

It only reminds her of the fact that her hair is starting to grow out, the red flames giving way to cold, golden ice gradually. Only last night, Vera had seen the hairlines appearing when she had checked in the mirror. Soon, it would be undeniable and Vera's meek attempts at maintaining her hair color without a tailor's help are laughable.

Genya had maintained her hair color for six years now; it was what made them become acquaintances in the first place. But now that she didn't have anyone anymore, Vera needed to find a different way. Another tailor. But she needed to figure out which crew member exactly had changed Nikolai's features and how to get them to do the same for her.

Hopefully before Vera has nothing but pale, white-golden hair. It's one of the small things she can change about her appearance that make her less recognizable. All it takes is a guest of Ravkan well-linked to Fjerda and the resemblance becomes a risk that might threaten her life. At least with the red hair, people would think twice, bending their thoughts from the familiar features.

"Come on," Nikolai says when she has finished tying up her boots and redone the braid in her hair. Vera looks up to find him standing next to her, now dressed in a huge greatcoat instead of his usual teal one, a wool hat peeking out of one of the pockets. Her kefta is in one hand, the other held out for her.

Maybe it is because of what she saw in his eyes when they were on the ground, maybe it's because of the direction her thoughts have strayed, but Vera accepts, taking his hand and letting him pull her to her feet.

Nikolai gives her the kefta. "Let's go and see how far the others are with the preparation. We'll have to leave soon if we want to be on time."

━━━━━

"What's happening?" Alina mutters softly, sending Mal a glance as they stop on deck, Tamar joining the preparations after waking the Sun Summoner and bringing her on deck to where the others have already gathered.

"We're going ashore."

"In the middle of the night?"

"The Volkvolny will raise colors near the Fjerdan coast," Nikolai chimes in. "The Darkling doesn't need to know that you're back on Ravkan soil just yet."

Vera frowns at his words, watching as Nikolai talks quietly to Privyet while Mal and Alina continue their whispered conversation. A few steps away, Yelena and Mila are discussing something in hushed voices, Mila grimacing in disappointment as they climb over the railing and into the other boat next to Vera.

No matter the time of night; somebody will see them dock somewhere and somehow word will get back to the Darkling. She'd only gotten the barest of glimpses of how thorough and well-working his web of informants and spies was and she does not believe for one moment that if they arrive in Ravka again, none of them will notice.

"Can we get to the cuddling later? I want us ashore before dawn." Nikolai says, drawing Vera's attention back to where he and Privyet are standing, his eyes on Mal and Alina for a moment before he turns back to the sailor, handing him an envelope sealed with blue wax and Vera squints at it, trying to distinguish the if there's any pattern in the seal, but it disappears in Privyet's pocket too fast for her to make any out.

Once Tamar and Tolya have made their way int other ship Mal and Alina follow, slower than the crewmembers and then the only ones that are still left are Nikolai and Vera.

For a moment, Vera eyes the vessel again warily before Nikolai's voice comes from behind her. "Don't tell me you're afraid, lovely."

Vera's glacier eyes move to him for a moment, only to find a grin meeting their flat stare. Instead of answering, Vera grabs the railing, her hold so tight that her knuckles turn white, and climbs over onto the other ship. It feels just as comfortable as being dragged on the Volkvolny by squaller wind and then deposited in a graceless heap on deck.

As she follows Mal and Alina to the sunken cockpit, Nikolai leaps own onto the other boat after her before he makes his way to the wheel.

"What is this thing?" Alina asks, mustering the vessel with a crease between her eyebrows.

"I call her the Hummingbird. I'm thinking of renaming her the Firebird, though," He adds with a grin and Alina looks like she is choking on something at his comment. "Cut the anchor and release!"

Vera's frown deepens when the anchor descends into the sea at this command. What in Djel's name...

"Make sail!" Nikolai commands as Mila fills in the final seat int the cockpit to Vera's left, a scowl on her face and Vera looks back at her. For a single heartbeat she can see the same grief she had felt in her bones when they'd left the closeness to Fjerdan sea and territory in favor of sailing into the direction of Ravka on his face as he looks out onto the Volkvolny growing smaller in the distance. The same sense of goodbye that is mirrored in Nikolai's face. "Squallers!"

As the Hummingbird picks up speed, Nikolai peers at the four of them in the cockpit, before dropping a pair of goggles in each of their palms. "Take these."

Vera turns them over in her hand as Mila pulls them over her head without hesitation, a little surprised when she notices how similar to the Fabrikator goggles back at the Little Palace they are as she puts them on. She supposes it might be because Nikolai had taken the design and modified it to his wishes.

"Alright Squallers, take us up. Sailors to wings, on my count." Nikolai calls over the sound of the wind whipping around them and Vera's eyes widen.

"What does that mean take us up?" Alina yells at Mal.

In response, a grin that looks a little giddy and mostly manic spreads on Mila's face, excitement in her eyes. "You'll see!" She calls back at them as Nikolai begins his countdown.

"Five! Four! Three! Two! One!"

At his signal, the sails billow up, snapping into place above the deck in a way that reminds Vera of wings. She barely has time to finish her thought when the Hummingbird gives a lurch and takes flight.

Vera lets out a quiet screech, muttering something in Fjerdan in between, as her hands fly to the seat beneath her, taking hold of the edges with a near death-like grip that turns her knuckles white as the color drenches from her face in horror.

Next to her, Mila is laughing in what can only be wonder. "It's working! Sturmhond it's working!"

Vera sends her a wild look. Did they not think it would?

"Of course, it's working!" Nikolai calls back, laughing just as crazily, and it does little to reassure her.

Vera barely registers Mal coaxing Alina into opening her eyes again as Mila gives her a shove with her elbow and her pale eyes snap over to the girl, a wild panic in them. Because they are flying. They are in a ship and it is not firmly on sea where it is supposed to be but in the air.

"We've been working on this for some time now. It's not gonna crash or he wouldn't have let me on it." Mila calls over the wind and Vera thinks she might be trying to comfort her.

She is trying to believe her but they are flying and there is a gaping, growing space between them and the sea and she cannot think of anything but that.

"That's impossible!" Alina calls out, peering over the edge of the cockpit.

"When people say impossible, they usually mean improbable." Nikolai calls back and if they weren't floating in the air, Vera would've leapt out of the cockpit and strangled him with her bare hands. But as it is, all she can do is send him a wild look.

Nikolai's grin widens when he sees it. "You know, I have never seen you like this, love."

"Like what?" Vera chokes out.

"Shell-shocked. Surprised. For once not looking like you want to burn the whole world to ashes." He shrugs and Vera sends him the ghost of a glare that's got nothing on her usual death glares that make grown men run the other way.

"Where did this thing come from?" Alina shouts as Vera takes a few deep breaths to calm herself.

"I designed her. I built her. And I crashed a few prototypes."

"Crashed?" Vera echoes, her voice unnaturally high pitched.

Nikolai sends her another grin.

In the corner of the cockpit, Mal leans forward, his eyes caught on one of the guns positioned at the outer edges of hulls. "Those guns. They have multiple barrels."

"And they're gravity fed. No need to stop and reload. They fire two hundred rounds per minute."

"That's —"

"Impossible? The only problem is overheating, but it isn't so bad on this model. I have a Zemeni gunsmith trying to work out the flaws. The aft seats rotate so you can shoot down from any angle."

"And fire down on the enemy. If Ravka had a fleet of these —"

"Quite an advantage, no? But the First and Second Armies would have to work together."

Slowly, the wild panic starts to ease from Vera's chest, the nausea in her stomach calming and she can begin to register the words coming out of Nikolai's mouth. And the implications.

With a fleet of these, Ravka could stand a chance even against Fjerda, who'd been always been a step ahead of them in term of technology and Shu Han. It might even be able to hold the Darkling off long enough for them to figure out a plan, for Alina to try and train her powers enough to stand against him.

Because the problem was not that they needed all three of Morozova's amplifiers to stand a chance against the Darkling like Alina had told Mal when they had discovered the firebird. It had nothing to do with power; Alina had enough power without the firebird, without the sea whip, without the stag. She could hold her own against the Darkling on nothing but what had been coursing in her veins her entire life.

No. Alina Starkov's problem was not a lack of power — it was a lack of training. If what Alina had told Vera two nights ago, and despite the hurt and the shot and the refusal in her heart Vera cannot see a reason why Alina would lie about it, then the Darkling had had centuries to master his Summoning abilities.

Alina had mere months at this point. She'd barely started to begin scratching the surface of it all.

"Sturmhond! What are you doing?" Alina's panicked voice pulls her out of her thoughts and Vera's head turns to the other Summoner who is gesturing wildly at the landmasses of Ravka beneath them, suddenly alert.

"You said you were taking us to Os Kervo—" Mal begins.

"I said I was takin you to meet my client."

"What fucking client?" Vera yells, anger at last pushing beyond the all-consuming panic and shock of flying.

"Where are we going to land?" Alina demands at the same time.

"Not to worry. I have a lovely little lake in mind." Nikolai says, ignoring Vera.

"How little?" The Inferni demands, her eyes narrowing and the wolf snarl returning to her voice as she rises from her seat.

Nikolai sends her a wide smile. "There she is." He pauses. "Although I'd beg you to consider waiting to execute your bloody and no doubt thrilling revenge on me and stay where you are. I don't think you want to be jostling around when we enter the Fold."

Vera goes impossibly still.

"You can't be serious." Alina says in disbelief from next to her, noticing to no small horror that what little color had returned to Vera's face in the last few minutes, had drained right back out again at the announcement that they'd be entering the Fold.

"Not on a regular basis, no. There's a rifle secured beneath your seat Oretsev. You might want to grab it. Just in care. Vera, lovely, I don't think I need to remind you how to incinerate someone, but just in case you feel like it, soon would be an excellent time to let your creativity run wild."

"You can't take us into the Fold." Mal yells.

"Why not? From what I understand, I'm travelling with the one person who can guarantee safe passage."

"Maybe I'll just let the volcra have you and your crew for a late-night snack." Alina snaps, anger lancing her voice, and watches as Vera Alekson flinches.

"More of an early breakfast," Nikolai comment, his attention not on them but on the timepiece in his hand. "We really are behind schedule. Besides, it really is a long way down. Even for a Sun Summoner."

Slowly Vera sits back down, her hands gripping the edge of the seat beneath her again. This time, they are shaking.

She hears Nikolai calling for the gunners to man their stations, for the Squallers to hold steady. She hears the words without registering them. At her left, Mila stretches a little in her seat, curiosity displayed plainly on her face.

"Sturmhond, I'm going to kill you!" Alina calls over the sound of the crew moving. "Turn this thing around right now!"

"Wish I could oblige. I'm afraid if you want to kill me, you'll just have to wait until we land. Ready?"

"No!"

The next moment, darkness swallows them whole, and Vera cannot breathe. Suddenly, her lungs are seizing up in wild panic, her head swimming as stars begin to dance in the edge of her vision.

Her eyes burn, maybe from the panic clawing up her throat, maybe from the knowledge tearing her apart that somewhere in this endless nothingness, whatever remains of Vaugn lies, unable to take root and return to the wellspring.

She presses her eyelids closed, but it doesn't help with the memories washing over her, as the nausea threatens to claw up her throat.

She needs to get out of here.

Then, Alina's lights spreads around her, pulsing and enveloping her in a welcoming glow as is weaves itself around the Hummingbird in a protective orb.

Around the vessel Vera can already hear the screeching and flapping of the volcra drawing closer and she barely registers the soft tremor that has not taken ahold of her whole body.

"No," Nikolai says when Alina begins to spread her light further. "Bring them closer."

"What? Why?"

"They hunt us. Maybe it's time we hunted them." He calls out, his voice loud enough for his entire crew to hear and as they whoop and bellow, Vera sends Nikolai a look of panic.

He cannot be serious. They need to get out of this place. Right now.

She almost says his name then. His real name, not the alias he's using. She doesn't even care or notice that it's the name he'd been given at birth. Nikolai. She was to say, wants to plead, wants to beg. Get us out of here. Get me out of this place.

"Pull back the light." Nikolai says before she gets a chance to do any of it.

"He's out of his mind." Alina says in disbelief, turning to Mal. "Tell him he is out of his mind."

"Well..." Mal begins slowly.

"Well what?" Alina demands. "In case you've forgotten, one of those things tried to eat you!"

"Maybe that's why I'd like to see what those guns can do."

"Vera..." Alina says with a pleading tone in her voice and begins to turn to her as Nikolai speaks up again.

"Just for a moment. Indulge me."

The hesitation is still plain in Alina's eyes, but she nods slowly. Vera wants to shake her. Don't do it don't do it don't do it —

"All right. But don't say I didn't warn you."

Around them, the light begins to draw back, the volcra shrieking in response and Vera's stomach clenches, nausea rolling over her again.

"All the way!" Nikolai calls out and then, it's dark again.

Something that might have been a choked sob escapes Vera's lips, swallowed up by the rustle of wings and screeching of the monsters.

"Now Alina! Throw it wide!"

Alina's light bursts out from her again and then, on Nikolai's command, the crew begins to take aim at the volcra. Vera does not move a bit. The sounds of the guns being fired rattle and ring in her head and all she wants to do is close her eyes and curl up until it is over, the way she did as a child when her abilities threatened to go haywire after a nightmare.

Eventually, the Fold envelops into silence again just before Tolya lets out a triumphant howl and the rest of the crew joins in, a look of giddy excitement that seems to barely keep her seated in Mila's eyes.

"Do you think we can draw out another flock?" One of the squallers calls out.

"Maybe. But we should probably head east. It's almost dawn and I don't want us to be spotted." Nikolai says and relief washes over Vera. Get me out of here.

"There are more of them. A lot more." Mal says suddenly and Nikolai sends him a look.

"How do you know?"

"I just do."

"Where?"

"Just a little north." Mal says, pointing to somewhere in the dark and Vera's stomach twists almost in an involuntary reaction as her chest clenches painfully, her heart sinking as Nikolai orders them to follow Mal's directions.

Slowly, the Hummingbird sinks lower and Alina's light first begins to skin over the dark, endless pools of the Fold before they skin the sands below and at last, fall on the wreck of a skiff.

Vera lets out a small, inhuman sound.

The skiff had been cut in half.

Suddenly, she is back on it, watching Alina run, her light coming down in a shining arc. Watching Novokribirsk being swallowed whole. Watching the look on the Darkling's face as he kills hundreds. Watching the volcra tear Vaugn from her side and into the black nothingness.

Vera presses her eyes closed against the sight, but it does not help, breathing through her mouth in a desperate attempt to push the nausea down. But there is no use. She can hear them as if she is right back that day as the fight begins to break out around her, the Hummingbird tipping and wobbling as gunfire and screeches become a grotesque crescendo. The ambassadors and Vaugn and Alina and the screams.

A warm, small hand takes her own and when Vera turns to her left with a start at the sudden contact, she finds Mila watching her and for once the girls eyes are not challenging or brash or full of bravado. They're just worried.

Vera does nothing as Mila squeezes her hand again, before she lets go, her curiosity winning over her as the girl leans forward to watch as the crew breaks out in howls again, leaving the wreck of the skiff beneath them on the ground as the Hummingbird rises again.

And then, at her side, Alina flinches, cowering herself into a protective position with a look of horror in her eyes just a split second before her light extinguishes.

"Alina." Vera chokes out, blindly reaching for where she thinks the other Summoner was just moments ago, but only gripping nothing.

Around them, shouts begin and between them, the screeching of the volcra coming closer.

Then, the screaming starts again and before Vera can stop herself, her hands fly to her ears, pressing her palm against them.

"Alina."

The light comes again and there is that look in Alina's eyes, the same look she had before she let it go out and Vera knows, she knows, it has nothing to do with the threat she'd made to Nikolai before they went into the Fold. Something else has happened right now, and Vera has no idea what. But it's big enough for Alina to let her light go out in the middle of this sea of horrors.

"Tamar, help him!" Nikolai shouts just as the hummingbird tips to the side and Mila's eyes widen in horror.

"Yelena!" She calls out, jumping up but Nikolai points at her.

"Stay where you are, Mila." It's an order. Still, Vera grips the girl's sleeve, her dark eyes still fixed on Yelena trying to keep them afloat, her teeth gritted and sweat beating her brows at the other sail flaps uselessly; the Squaller who'd manned it having his arm nearly torn out by the volcra.

"Are you alright? Are you hurt?" Mal demands as Alina looks around, a wild panic in her eyes.

"Is she injured?" Nikolai calls, not looking at them.

"Just get us out of here!" Mal yells.

"Oh, is it that what I should be trying to do?"

"Just shut up!" Vera screams, because the screams, the volcra, the chaos on deck, it is all becoming to much and for a moment, they do.

Then, at last, light envelops them, and they are out of the Fold. Vera's legs buckle as she sinks down on the deck, a sob of relief threatening to bubble up her throat.

"Lights out!" Nikolai commands and Alina drops her hand, her light vanishing, but Nikolai is already turning to Yelena. "Just a little further!"

Yelena gives off a sound that might've been a groan, or might've been a sob of exhaustion, her arms shaking, and Mila's eyebrows draw together as she worries her lower lip.

"Everyone get low and hold on tight!" Nikolai calls out again, and with a last look at her sister, Mila kneels next to Vera as Alina and Mal crouch down in the cockpit, bracing their arms against the walls.

"We're not gonna make it," Alina says just as Nikolai calls out, "Get ready!"

Then, with the Hummingbird racing towards the tiny lake at neck breaking speed, Nikolai jumps into the cockpit next to Vera, squeezing into the last free space inside. He gives them a crooked grin. "This is cozy," He says just before they hit the ground.

With a bone-rattling crash, they are thrown around the cockpit as the ship skitters, cracking apart and Vera barely has time to remember that Mila's only fourteen, about same age Willa is now, and grab the girl in hopes that she'll at least stop her from being thrown into her death by the impact as the Hummingbird bounces before coming to a halt.

Her head swimming, slightly, Vera looks up to find that they are still in the cockpit, Nikolai nowhere to be seen and the rest of them thrown over each other and tangled in a heap.

"Mila," she groans, ignoring the swimming in her head as a she drags herself into a standing position. "You okay, kid?"

"I'm not a kid," Mila groans in reply, rubbing her back as she sits up.

Let's get out of here, Vera wants to say, but her head is still swimming and the nausea and cold sweat from the Fold makes her shiver. Slowly, she drags herself out of the cockpit, Mila following her.

"We need to get into the water." The girl says, looking around. "The Hummingbird isn't gonna hold any longer."

She's right, Vera thinks. But right now, all Vera can do is try and not curl up in a heap on the floor and vomit up everything that's in her stomach right now. Or worse, just faint and simply leave this day behind her.

Vera only nods, pressing her lips together as she stumbles towards the railing, barely noticing Mila's hand on her upper arm, steading her.

"Are you hurt?" Mila asks with a frown.

She doesn't have the energy left in her to reply, the adrenaline ebbing away quickly — too quickly — and only climbs over the railing and into the water, beginning to kick her way to the shore as behind them, one of the mast breaks and collapses into the water, the waves of impact jostling her around for a moment before, at last, the ground beneath her begins to rise and Vera crawls onto shore, stumbling to the edge of the clearing where she leans against a tree, ignoring Mila's shouts.

Before she has a chance to tell the girl she is fine, Vera vomits.

AUTHOR'S NOTE
kinda loving the unexpected kinship between mila and vera 🥺 also next chapter is the ~reveal~ and more yelena and mila!!!! also...... i have been plotting out the rest of act 2 more closely chapter by chapter and hahahaha i am not ready you are not ready we are not ready

aNYWAYS enjoy this almost 5k word chapter and please consider leaving a comment or two <3