VII / Music From Before the Storm

Her breath forming plumes in the air, freezing although spring was approaching at last, Vera circles around Alina, her glacier eyes mustering the other Summoner's stance.

Over the past weeks, now that she was finally able to properly reach her powers and hone them, Alina had grown sharper. Stronger. She'd started to adapt the techniques Vera taught her and had slowly begun to build up endurance and muscle. She was able to actually begin pushing her body further without collapsing out of exhausting after a few minutes.

She'd still had a long way to go, but it was a step forward.

Stopping in front of her, Vera lets her eye wander up and down Alina before she settles them on her face. "Now," she says. "Try to get a hit on me."

Alina waves slightly in exhaustion before she jabs out with her left fist, then her right. Vera blocks both of them, first with her left arm before she makes a move to the left, evading the punch. She is getting faster, and yet...

It isn't enough.

"You need to concentrate." Vera snaps and Alina gives her a look, just tethering on the edge of snapping back.

"I'm trying," she points out and Vera lets out a humorless snort.

"All I do is trying!" Alina insists.

Vera could see it. She could see the dissatisfaction in Alina with how slowly she was progressing, in her Summoner powers, in her fighting. Nevermind that she'd only truly done these things for a few weeks and was comparing herself to people who'd done them for years.

Still. It is not enough. Not because of some expectations people had put into a girl who was basically the equivalent of a nine-year-old in their training curve when it came to Grisha powers, but also because Alina was a target now. One of the biggest targets in all of Ravka, maybe the whole world.

Because, not enough meant dying in this world. And Vera would be damned if she let this girl die because she wasn't prepared properly.

"Do you still have my knife?" Vera asks as they circle each other.

Alina pauses, thinking before she gives her a shrug. "I do. It's in my room."

With a sharp sigh, Vera stands up straight, dropping the fighting stance. Her glacier eyes flash as she fixed Alina with that look. That wolf look. "That is not enough." She snarls. "Trying is not enough. Walking around unarmed will get you killed in this life. You need to do better if you want to survive."

When Alina doesn't immediately reply, Vera's nostrils flare. "People are after you now. Everywhere, they are after you. And if you cannot defend yourself, if you're helpless they will get you. Do you understand that?"

"Who is going to get me here?"

"Anyone!" Vera exclaims. "Just because you're in the Little Palace, just because you're surrounded by Grisha and guards everywhere, who can guarantee you that here is no spy around? No assassin?"

Nobody could.

That was the bitter, ugly truth.

Alina stares at Vera in silence. She'd heard what Marie and Nadia and the other Grisha called her when Vera wasn't around. When they thought she wouldn't hear or notice. Volchitsa. She wolf.

And watching Vera Alekson among the Grisha truly was like a wolf in the skin of a woman prowling amongst them.

A shudder runs through Alina and she nods. "Alright."

Vera lets out a breath and takes a step back. She knows she's hard on Alina. She knows that their sessions are stretching longer and longer without break. But, in this life, nobody out for you would just let you take a break because you were exhausted. You couldn't just ask assassins or soldiers or anyone else after you if you could resume tomorrow because your teachers only ever had you for an hour and that's all the endurance you could muster per day.

She nods sharply. "Go get ready for breakfast, Alina. We're done for today." She says before she turns, and leaves.

Fedyor, Alina. Livia. This was the problem with caring. In the end, the only one you could ever truly look after was yourself and nobody else.

Inevitably, everyone got hurt and everyone died. And Vera could not bear the idea of letting more people in to blame herself for. No matter how much she had tried to prepare them.

━━━━━

The winter fete might just be the eclipse of all that Vera did not look forward to this winter. Or maybe just the Ravkan court in general, she decides as she exits the domed hall after lunch the next day and discovers a new, silk kefta for tonight awaiting her in her room.

Vera lets out a weary sigh once she has a warmth bath drawn for herself and is reclining in the tub. It's the last moment of peace and quiet before tonight, and she isn't in a particular rush to let it end. Being in the Grand Palace, especially during those kinds of parties, she always feels like some sort of exotic animal or jewel. Like she's nothing but a caged bird the ladies and lords of Ravka like to stare at and talk about.

The mere thought already makes her skin scrawl. That the kind expects them to put on a show of their powers like they're nothing more than another group of entertainers that are coming tonight and not soldiers, doesn't make it better.

All her life, Vera has always had an issue with all the men in power she's met. And she'd met a good lot of them in her life. Yet, she's never seen one that actually deserves it or acts accordingly to their responsibility before the Darkling pulled her out of the snow six years ago. And, she has not found another since that night.

Vera stays in the bath for a long time, until her skin shrivels and she's had to reheat the water multiple times with her powers. Until the sun starts to set and she knows that, while she'll be late either way, unless she gets ready now, she'll be very late. She heaves out another regretful sigh before she leaves the tub.

Just as she is buttoning up her new kefta, relishing the feel of the silk against her hands, a knock sounds at the door. Drawing her eyebrows together, Vera pauses. She wasn't that late that they'd send someone to fetch her, was she?

But when she opens the door to her room, it's not a servant or another random Grisha picked from the masses and send to her. It's Fedyor, a bright grin on his face as he sweeps her into a tight hug.

Before she can stop herself, a grin forms on her lips, too. "Fedyor!" Vera exclaims as he releases her. "I didn't know you'd make it for the fete."

Fedyor shrugs. "Neither did I," he admits. "So I didn't say anything. And then I thought, I'd surprise you and pick you up. Since someone had to make sure you'd actually come to the fete."

Vera rolls her eyes, punching his shoulder lightly. "I was going to come." She huffs as she lets Fedyor inside her room and closes the door behind him.

He sends her a look that quite clearly tells her he doesn't complete believe her. Vera, very maturely, sticks her tongue out at him before she can stop herself. Fedyor lets out a very mature snort in response.

She did not care. She even did not care about the stupid fete anymore. Fedyor was here and that made it all bearable.

━━━━━━━━━━

Later that night, when the dreadful performance at last was over and Vera had a glass of champagne in her right hand, the two of them weave their way through the crowd of guests.

Vera had already told Fedyor most he'd missed when she'd finished getting ready and on the way to the Grand Palace. She could've sworn there was a glimmer in his eyes of something like... pride, maybe? Relief? But it had been too subtle for her to tell with certainty, so she wasn't sure if she'd seen it right.

To her great disappointment, he'd only shaken his head and laughed when she finished like she'd just told the most hilarious joke.

"You need to learn how to be around other people," was all he said.

"I do not." Vera had replied with an indignant huff, giving him a dark look. Never mind that Fedyor probably wasn't wrong.

He had only looked more amused.

The urge to shove him into one of the rosebushes they'd been passing at that time, had been strong.

Now, Fedyor was next to her, making conversation with Grisha and nobles and other guests alike in that effortless way of his. As she silently takes a sip from the champagne, Vera let's her glacier eyes wander over the crowd. The earrings she'd donned for tonight, elegant jewels dripping from her earlobes, shift softly at the small movement of her head. The subtle weight of them felt familiar and foreign all at once. A long time ago, in another lifetime, Vera had loved jewels. Had loved wearing fancy dresses and rings and necklaces and earrings whenever she got the opportunity. Had relished in every occasion that had allowed her to do so.

But that had been before she'd truly started losing control of her fire and every public event had become a death trap suddenly. And now that she was here, was a Grisha and a soldier of the Second Army, jewelry and dresses had become a luxury she could rarely afford.

A small breath of relief escapes her when her eyes catch on Alina entering the ballroom. It catches in her throat when their eyes meet across the room and she can see the spooked look on her face just as the two Heartrenders, who'd shadowed her the entire evening, reach her again.

Vera draws her eyebrows together in a frown before she leans her head to Fedyor at her side. "Come on," she says, her eyes not leaving Alina's form as she weaves through the crowd, nobles and Grisha coming up to her relentlessly. "There is someone I want you to meet."

She can nearly feel the surprise radiating from Fedyor as he turns to her, mustering her. Then, he follows her line of sight and sees Alina, who he'd escorted the entire way to Os Alta, and the black-and-gold kefta. Again, she can see that bright smile blooming on his face.

He'd mentioned the conversation he'd had with Alina, about how she'd believed that she wasn't Grisha, how she had no confidence in her abilities and how he was excited to talk to her again, now that she was proven wrong. How she'd fared.

Sending her a nod, Fedyor follows Vera as she tries, and most likely fails, to shove her way as gently through the crowd as possible. She doesn't care for the dirty looks the other partygoers send her. They probably thought she was just another overexcited spectator wanting to meet the Sun Summoner.

Let them, Vera thinks.

When they reach Alina, there is surprise, then recognition and at last, a small amount of relief on her face as she spots Vera.

Vera gives her a critical look, raising an eyebrow as Fedyor stops at her side. She genuinely hopes Alina understands the look for the question it is - whether or not she'd taken the knife Vera had given her all those months ago with her tonight.

Blinking slightly, Alina gives her a barley perceptible nod in return and Vera can see her right hand reaching for her outer thigh, then stopping before they can touch the black fabric of her kefta.

Grim satisfaction spreads through Vera as Alina sends Fedyor an unsure look, hesitating. Vera can see it in her eyes that she is scrambling to remember the name of a Heartrender she'd met briefly all those months ago. Not that she particularly blamed Alina. Vera had not bothered to learn the names of many Grisha, or anyone for that matter, in her first weeks in Os Alta either.

She motions toward him. "This is Fedyor Kaminsky." She says and Fedyor bows. Bows.

Vera tries not to laugh at the motion knowing that it was important to Fedyor to show his politeness and respect to Alina, while also knowing that Alina was practically forcing herself not to fidget with uncomforted at the gesture.

Alina sends Fedyor an apologetic smile. "Forgive me. It's been a long night."

Vera genuinely didn't think that Fedyor would ever be angry at Alina for such a thing, but she supposes Alina didn't know Fedyor the way she does. Still, the utter lack of contempt as Fedyor shakes his head, makes it clear.

"I can only imagine." Fedyor replies. Maybe it's Vera's imagination, but Alina is refusing to meet her eyes. And... are her lips swollen? Vera narrows her piercing eyes slightly at Alina. No, she most definitely was ignoring her stare.

"It seems the Darkling was right after all." Fedyor continues with a smile and Alina blinks, surprised.

"Pardon?" She squeaks.

It's all Vera can do to not let any emotion show in her face when the realization hits her.

That idiot.

Alina had not.

"You were so certain that you couldn't possibly be Grisha."

Now, Alina returns his smile. "I try to make a habit of getting things hopelessly wrong."

As the two continue conversing next to her, Vera takes a long sip from the flute of champagne in her hand, using the cover of the glass to closely scrutinize Alina. She looked just like she had after she'd disappeared after her performance. Her performance with the Darkling, who, if Vera remembered correctly, had left the fete just about at the same time.

Her glacier eyes narrow even more.

If she hadn't known what to look for she would've missed it. And yet... Alina's hair was just slightly ruffled. Her cheeks flushed and her lips swollen just barely.

All the saints and Djel.

The two of them would have a very much needed conversation the next time they were alone.

"And thank you for looking after Vera," Fedyor is saying at the moment, half leaned towards Alina with a conspiratorial look in his eyes. Alina sends Vera a glance, but a grin is spreading on her face.

Vera blinks at the sudden change of subject. Hadn't Fedyor just told Alina about his new position on the border?

"What's that supposed to mean?" She huffs, affronted, and Fedyor sends Alina a wink, still grinning.

Vera gives him a dark look before they hastily say their goodbyes to Alina as the tide of guests waiting to meet the Sun Summoner sweeps them away.

"I think I like her," Fedyor announces and Vera glares at him.

"Of course, you would." She mutters as she empties her glass of champagne. But, already, a smile is tugging at the corners of her lips.

Long after, when Fedyor and her at last have made their way back to the Little Palace and are walking to the dormitories, the sound of loud footsteps storming to them cuts off their conversation.

Vera knows something has horribly gone wrong the moment the Darkling rounds the corner and she sees the look on his face in the soft light of the candles and lanterns adorning the hallway.

Her stomach sinks even further when his dark eyes fix on her and he stops in front of them.

"Alina," the Darkling says. "Alina is gone."

AUTHOR'S NOTE
thank you so much for 5k readers on this baby!! 💞💞💞 since the tv show was released the fandom has had a massive growth 🤣

who of you all has only found shadow&bone through the show? if yes, have you read the books yet? if no, when did you find the books? have you seen the show yet?

i'd love to start a conversation with all of my readers, so don't hesitate to leave a comment!