"...he kissed me under the Moorish wall and I thought well as well him as another and then I asked him with my eyes to ask again yes and then he asked me would I yes to say yes my mountain flower and first I put my arms around him yes and drew him down to me so he could feel my breasts all perfume yes and his heart was going like mad and yes I said yes I will Yes."

- Molly Bloom, Ulysses

***

"I don't...I don't hear anything."

"Jes..." Niall groans, taking his wife from her crouched position beside the doorway, "Leave 'em alone."

"But--!"

He continues to drag her away from the door and into any other room in the house, "Come on."
__

Leigh-Anne didn't think she could feel so many emotions simultaneously.

Not with Harry.

Not like this.

Not now.

So, now? After a broken engagement and sudden homelessness? During Christmas? Away from home? No.

Just.

No.

"Leigh?" He asks. "Leigh, say something. Please?"

No, Leigh didn't think it was possible for her to cry these tears of joy and relief as Harry said the words she hadn't realized she was waiting her whole life to hear him say.

And so she shakes her head.

And she leans forward at once, kissing him.

The action startles Harry, whose own vision is slightly blurred by tears. He blinks rapidly, sending moisture to the corner of his eyes, realizing all at once that Leigh's hands are gripping his broad shoulders and her lips are pressed against his...

"Leigh," he sputters against her lips, because he still hasn't received an answer. "I--"

"I love you, too. Now, shut up and kiss me back."

And he beams, those green eyes shining brightly as his hands cup her face and his thumbs wipe away her tears.

He's crying again, but he's smiling through the crying and he's laughing a little high-pitched laugh at this entire situation.

And he's still smiling as Leigh-Anne presses her lips to his. And he giggles, smiling dizzily as he falls into this kiss. Inhaling deeply, Harry feels his nerves erupt all into something else--an entirely different feeling of adrenaline and hormonal release minus all of the anxiety and confusion.

His eyes close, his large hands gripping her thin shirt. He kisses her back, wanting her closer; pulling her closer.

In moments, her arms wrap around his neck, his hands guiding her towards him, gripping her waist and helping her legs over his.

She straddles him, and she sits in his lap and feels the heat spreading from her core. She cups his face, nipping at his lips and kissing them repeatedly, speaking between each peck.

"Why. Couldn't. You've. Told. Me. Before?"

"M'sorry," he musters sincerely, albeit being to busy detaching from her lips to bring his attention to the smooth skin beside her throat.

She gasps out a laugh. "You're sorry?"

"Yessss," he replies, hissing like a snake as she grinds her hips against him. "God, I'm sorry."

"You really should be."

"I am," he says, the words vibrating against her skin. "But, I never want to lose you," he mutters. "Not to anyone else. Ever again."

And Leigh, who can always tell when Harry is telling the truth, angles away from the hickies he is sure to be leaving along the side of her neck to take his chin between her fingers and tilt his head towards her.

She presses her lips gently to his, this kiss feeling like her second first kiss when they were young, or their night together after prom. She kisses him, with his puckered lips between her fingertips and sighs--sighs because she wants this. She wants this feeling--this feeling she'd been chasing. All of those late nights alone and those talks with Jesy...this is what she'd wanted. This is what she'd had, and hadn't realized, all along.

Right?

Was this right? She'd just broken up with Jordan, and now here was Harry. Here was Harry who had always been there for her. Here was Harry who she could call her best friend.

And she never wanted that to change.

So was this right? With her in his lap with her lips on his?

Was this right? With her being with him after all this time?

Those thoughts and her sudden anxiety get flooded by the simultaneously euphoria of this feeling--of his hands on her and his lips on hers and the taste of him and the smell of her favorite cologne...

Was that it? Was she in love with him? Or was Leigh longing for familiarity?

Oh God...

Harry's large hands roam her sides, the feeling of her thin cotton shirt lifting as his long fingers graze skin.

"I like this better," Harry murmurs, as his hands wrap protectively around her waist, "without your fiancé around."

"My ex, you mean."

"Yeah," and Harry actually giggles. "Your ex."

"Really? Really? In the fuckin' kitchen?"

And Leigh jumps. She'd have probably tumbled out of Harry's lap and onto the floor had he not had such a hold on her ass and her waist.

He's laughing.

"Harry!" Leigh slaps him.

He chuckles, though. "Forgot this was their house, actually," he admits.

Here's Jesy and Niall, both of them smiling smugly in the doorway of their kitchen.

"And we're quite glad that you've made yourself so comfortable..." Niall begins.

"But its more comfortable in a bedroom," Jesy adds. And she leans her head against Niall, who winks, "We would know."

"Eew," Leigh wrinkles her nose. "We've been eating in here, you know."

"So do we--"

"Don't," Leigh-Anne holds up a hand, "finish that." And with a wrinkled nose, she removes herself from Harry's lap, and he follows her with intense green eyes.

"Where're you going."

"Harry's lap's getting cold, Leigh--"

"Hush, Jes," Leigh snaps. "I'm just going for a walk."

Because present again, was her overwhelming self doubt.

Harry rises from his seat. "Want company?"

"No--"

"Of course she does."

"I'm fine," Leigh stresses, and she quickly pecks his nose in silent resurrance. "It'll be quick. Nothing's wrong." She lies.

"You're sure...?"

Because he had just confessed his love to her and they had just been making out, and now all of a sudden she wanted to be alone?

In short, he was just a tad bit confused.

But the smile she flashes is so genuine and he's in so deep already that he stays put, obliging.

"I'm sure."

And Leigh excuses herself from the kitchen, out of sight.

Harry falls back into his seat.

"Hey, Haz?"

And Niall pauses in the doorway, smiling a small smug smile.

Harry looks up. "Yeah?"

"You're welcome."

And Harry, actually, is pretty damn thankful.
___

Leigh needs a moment to herself.

She needs a second to breathe.

Because her thoughts have all gone from love and happiness to self-doubt and tension, and she's not trying to deal with this. Not now.

She walks alone, silently for a few blocks before stumbling upon a little kiddy park.

She finds solace upon a bench.

For a moment.

Until she turns at the sound of youthful laughter.

"Mind if I sit?"

"Absolutely not," Leigh replies, moving her bag from the free space on the bench.

"Thanks," sighs the newcomer. She blinks her eyes tiredly as her three little kids run excitedly towards the sand. "Tie your shoes, Henry!" She calls after them. "You'll trip and fall again!"

She turns to Leigh-Anne. "He'll thank me later."

And Leigh grins, laughing softly as she watches the kids play, turning from the familiar face of their mother beside her on the park bench.

And all of a sudden, Leigh remembers. "Hey! I know you, don't I? We've met before. You're the woman from--"

"The lot," nods the not-so-stranger, eyes wide in her own realization. "You were out with your fiancé, right? Picking Christmas trees?"

Leigh laughs. She'd forgotten Harry had told that lie.

"Guilty."

"Well, it's a pleasure..."

"Leigh," she sticks out her hand. "Name's Leigh-Anne."

"Well, it's a pleasure, Leigh-Anne. I'm Evie."

And the two women sit in silence for a minute, as the woman rubs her growing belly and Leigh stares out at her young children on the playground.

"He isn't my fiancé, you know."

"Come again?"

"The man you saw...with me..." Leigh shakes her head. "Isn't my fiancé."

The woman frowns, confused. "Okay..."

"But, I was engaged at the time. I was engaged. I'm not anymore, though."

"Didn't I--Wasn't it just a few days ago, love?"

Leigh chuckles. "'Bout two weeks, yeah."

"You've been busy," Evie nods. And then she reaches out and takes Leigh's hand in her own, squeezing it. "And I'm sorry about the engagement. I know that's got to be hard."

"I thought so. I mean, it should be, shouldn't it?"

"I mean--It wasn't?"

"It...It's been more confusing than anything."

"I'm sure," Evie nods. And she pauses suddenly, "So, if you don't mind me asking...who was the young man you were out with? Because if you ask me," she grins, "he certainly looked like your other half."

"Guess he is, then," Leigh sighs. "That was Harry. You met my best friend."

And Leigh doesn't quite know why she's opened up like this to this woman, but she has and isn't able to stop, now.

"I've known him practically my whole life. He was my first...nearly my first everything, and tonight he confessed he loved me and...I mean, I've always loved him, but...God, I just broke off an engagement with a man I wanted to marry; someone I thought I'd once do anything for, but Harry? We've done so much together. We've always been there for each other, and I guess I'm just--"

"Scared?"

"I--"

"You know," Evie continues. "Scared that if something happens, it'll be ten times worse than any broken engagement? Scared that you won't know what to do without him? Your best friend."

Leigh gulps. That was surprisingly too accurate. "Maybe a bit."

Evie laughs, reaching out to pat Leigh's thigh. "You know, life is funny."

"Tell me about it."

"Sure," the woman grins, "Since you insist."

"Please, then," Leigh laughs. "Tell me exactly how funny life is."

"I was fourteen when my house caught fire."

"And this is funny? How, may I ask?"

"Hush, you," Evie giggles. "I'm telling a story."

"This better be a good story."

"It is," she continues to laugh. "I promise. Now, hush."

"If you insist?"

"Anyway," Evie laughs again, eliciting a final giggle out of Leigh, "I lived in an apartment complex. Held about fifteen places. It's still around, actually. Out in Santa Monica. One of those places right off of Fourth."

She shakes her head. "All that to say, when I was fourteen, the lady who lived directly above us had four huge cats, and story is, one of them knocked over her iron without her knowing. Burnt a hole straight through the carpet."

"Oh no," Leigh exclaims. "Was she alright?"

"Not a scratch, not a burn," Giselle laughs. "Instead of trying to put out the fire, she grabbed her cats and ran. I remember being in the kitchen with my mom and smelling smoke," she shrugs, "That's when I heard the alarms and the commotion...All the residence flooded the halls, knocking on doors, trying to get everyone out.

"We dropped everything and ran. Literally. We all had to take the stairs down, and I'll never forget, on the bottommost landing, this woman stopped my dad. I'd seen her around before. She lived above us too, somewhere across from the cat lady, and she must've thought my dad was a kind enough soul, because she started crying, asking if he could help her--Said her son was still inside. He hadn't been able to get out."

"Oh..." Leigh's hand flies to her mouth. "And...?"

"And my dad went. He ended up pulling the boy out of the building, both of them badly burnt in the process."

Leigh lifts an eyebrow. "And this is a good story?" She asks again. "You're sure? You're sure about that?"

"Everyone was fine," Evie scoffs, laughing again. "After the fire department showed up and we all went to the hospital, it was as if the cats had never set the fire, y'know?"

Leigh chokes. "What a miraculous sense of humor you have."

"One of my many qualities," Evie grins. "But, really, I can only joke in retrospect. At the time, I was a crying mess, especially as my own father pulled some broken boy from the flames..."

"And the funny thing is that I'd seen him. I knew the boy--from afar. He was sixteen and rode his bike everywhere and always wore a Dodger's cap.

"When we went to visit my dad in the hospital, I asked to visit him, too. Turns out his name was Dylan. Turns out he went to my rival high school.

"And I found all of this out because every day I went to see my dad, I visited him in the hospital, too. Dylan was there much longer than my father, so I kept coming even after. He'd been burnt so badly doctors thought he wouldn't be able to walk correctly again. But, he danced just fine at my prom, and he walked just fine down the aisle," she smiles, "at our wedding."

"All that to say," Evie shrugs, laughing as Leigh absolutely goes crazy beside her on the bench, "sometimes, things seem really crappy, and really confusing, when they're really just things, and it takes us to step back and take a breath to realize how good those things are."

She shakes her head, staring off at her kids pushing each other on the swing set. "You know, often times we complain about being at crossroads. We're standing at forks in the road and don't know which path to take. Except, all the time, the answers we seek are being given to us," she turns to Leigh, "Sometimes those answers look like fires, or broken engagements, or love confessions," she grins. "But it all depends on our openness, and willingness to accept life as a series of things, without labeling any of them as good or bad."
____

"Where've you been?"

It's dark in the Horan's guest room when Leigh returns, save for the one light on the bedside table beside Harry, who's siting up, still in his clothes from earlier that day.

He'd waited.

The words are harsh and demanding, and Leigh winces because this is a side of Harry she rarely sees.

"There's a little park a few blocks up," she replies sweetly, not wanting to anger him any further. "I sat for a while and talked--"

"Really? Because I've been sitting here, worried, Leigh."

"I just went for a walk, Haz."

"Yeah," he scoffs angrily over his phone, "at eight at night you up and leave and don't show up for hours?"

"Remember that lady we met?" She asks at once, "The one from the tree lot?"

He perks momentarily, scowl quickly returning. "The one with the kids."

"Her," Leigh nods. "Apparently she lives in the neighborhood. I ran into her at the park and," she shrugs, "I lost track of time."

"It's been hours, Leigh. You could've called."

"I know," she crawls forward onto the bed, "I'm sorry."

He looks away. "Yeah."

"Honestly. I didn't realize it was late until it got so dark."

"It's fine," he mutters, exhaling as she positions herself against him. "I'm just..." He yawns tiredly, and Leigh feels worse. "Just glad you're back."

"She's invited us over," Leigh adds. "Evie, I mean."

"From the lot?"

"Mhmm," she nods. "Her kids are adorable, man."

She sighs. "I could've spent all night talking to her."

He chuckles, playing softly in her hair. "I can see that."

"Bait to which I shall not rise."

He laughs, now, kissing her forehead.

And she asks, "Harry, did you purposefully ruin my engagement?"

The words kind of startle him.

He blinks rapidly in the soft glow of the solitary lamp.

"Purposefully?"

"Yes," she nods, "Purposefully."

He smiles cheekily, and his teeth are bright and white beneath the open window and Leigh can smell the toothpaste on his breath. "Not purposefully...per se..."

"Harry."

"I didn't know you'd be bothered by it."

"So's that a yes?"

"I mean..."

"Harry."

He rolls over, causing her to groan out another, "Harry!" as he flattens her beneath him.

"Let's just say," he says, lifting one of her hands and playing softly with her fingers, "that I came out to see you," he kisses the back of her caramel-colored hand, "because I love you," he kisses her knuckles, "I missed you," and he kisses her fingers, "and you had a wedding to plan."

"You're terrible."

"I love you--"

"Thank you."

He blinks. "I--What?"

Leigh giggles softly. "Thank you," she whispers. "I just thanked you, you cheeseball."

"But..." He blinks again. He wasn't exactly expecting that as a reaction. "Huh?"

She turns to face him, propping her head in her hand. "Thank you," she repeats. "I guess I owe you one, don't I?"

"I mean--"

"Because," she sighs, falling back against the pillows, "as weird as it sounds, I think I'd much rather be here with you, practically homeless, wondering what the hell to do with my life and my career, broken out of an engagement, than still in it with someone who wasn't--"

"Me?" He asks hopefully.

"Well, yes," she admits. "Someone I wasn't best friends with. Someone who wouldn't stay up late with me and open presents before midnight. Someone who doesn't worry so much about my wellbeing. Someone--"

"Me," Harry clarifies, reaching out to stroke her hair from her face. "Me. Me. Me."

She laughs. "Right."

And Harry captures her lips in his--the action startling her momentarily, before she eases into the feeling of her lips on his lips again.

"I love you, Leigh."

And she didn't realize how easy it was to say these words back to him.

"I love you, too."

__

Happy Holidays, everybody!

I am sorry af for how long it took me to write this chapter. I think I rewrote it like six times.

comment and vote! this story's wrapping up. only a few chapters left!