Everything I had thought, everything that I was hoping for, had been so farfetched. Syd had his good days and his bad, but most of the time, everything seemed to have gone awry. Syd was progressively getting worse and worse every time he had a bad day. Everything was out of my control, and I absolutely hated that. All I could do was sit idly by and watch him digress, which pained me so much inside. I was running out of options. I couldn't just leave him. But I wanted to get away. I couldn't take anymore of this. Every moment for me was torture inside, and Syd had no idea. He was completely unaware.

I invited David over so I could talk things out with him. I sent Syd into his room and told him he could sleep while David and I conversed. He complied and immediately flopped onto the bed and slept. I closed the door and made my way over to the kitchen table, sitting across from David.

"Oh, would you like something to drink?" I asked as soon as I sat down.

"Please, allow me. The coffee pot is over there. I'm a grown man. Let me do this for you," David inquired as he promptly got up from his seat and went over to make coffee.

"Thank you."

"So, how's he been lately?" David asked as he measured out coffee grounds into the filter.

"It's on and off, completely unpredictable."

"And..."

"What?"

"How- how have you been?"

"Oh, well, you know. Just going through the motions, I guess."

David poured the water into the pot, turned it on, then returned to his seat.

"Are you sure?" He whispered as he leaned in toward me.

I turned my head away and shrugged as I stared at the floor, trying not to cry.

"Hey," he started again, "please, just tell me what's going on, Kat. I hate seeing you like this. It's not like you at all. I need that vivacious personality of yours to brighten my mood."

I looked back up at him. "Really. I'm- I'm fine. Don't worry about me."

"I can see right through this and you know it. Why even bother trying?"

The coffee timer went off and David excused himself once more as he went over to pour the coffee.

He came back over and place a mug of coffee in front of me, then sat in the chair next to me and scooted over in his seat.

"Please, Kat," he said softly as he moved my hair behind my ears. "I can't help you out if you don't tell me what's wrong."

"I've always hated that," I chuckled as I moved the hair out from behind my ears, which was always uncomfortable to me.

"Oh, I apologize. But quit stalling. Please?"

I looked David square in the eyes and said plainly, "I cannot do this anymore. I- I just can't. It's too much, David. I just want it all to be over."

"Kat, I-"

"You wanted me to talk, let me talk," I interrupted him quite harshly.

David appeared a little frightened by my sudden abrasiveness, but he gestured for me to continue on.

"Night and day, I worry about what's going to become of him, of us, and our future together. I don't see it happening. He's not getting better. He keeps getting worse. It's like this slippery slope that never ends. Every single day is a struggle, every moment with him is pain in my heart. This sadness sometimes turns to anger and guilt. I always wanted to tell him my opinion on LSD and other such drugs. But no, I was a coward. Maybe if I spoke up he wouldn't be in this mess right now and I wouldn't be a complete and utter wreck. I just can't do this anymore, David. But if I leave him, who will watch over him? I can't just abandon him. That's heartless, truly. I'm at a loss right now and I just want everything to stop.."

The tears began to flow as I turned my face away from him. I felt a soft touch on my hand, which was resting on the table. He turned my hand over, linked his fingers with mine, and began to gently rub my thumb with his.

I looked up at him. "W-what are you doing?"

"Trying to comfort you. It seems to be working," he smiled.

I smiled back. David leaned in closer and made me rest my head on his shoulder. He gently caressed my hair with his other hand.

He began humming softly as he rocked us back and forth. I felt him plant a kiss on my head and then rest his chin on the same spot.

All seemed well, everything felt peaceful, perfect, tranquil- for that moment, at least. But this all came to an abrupt halt. David readjusted his fingers and felt my engagement ring. Immediately, he stopped and got up.

"I really must be going right now. I do apologize, I just, I- I don't know," he fumbled over his words, flustered, and scrambled out of the room.

Syd came out as soon as the door slammed behind David. "What was all that commotion?"

I gave him a sincere smile. "David was in quite a rush."

"Give us a kiss, Kat."

My smile grew as I got out of my seat to greet him. I kissed him on the lips and looked into his eyes. But at that moment, gazing at him silently, nothing felt right. His eyes were lifeless. It wasn't Syd. They were like black holes in the sky. There wasn't anything there.

Syd stared ahead and began to mumble to himself. I turned away and took a deep breath.

"Syd?" I whispered.

"Hm?" He replied, sounding surprised. "Oh, Kat! I'm so lucky to have a girl like you."

I felt emotions stirring, but I did not want him to catch me crying. "Let's- let's sit down, Syd."

I led him over to the sofa and sat him down. I reclined next to him and lay my head on his lap. I closed my eyes and thought to myself. The whole time, Syd didn't move at all.

This was my most favorite part of us being together enjoying each other's company and relaxing in silence. But everything was changing. I opened my eyes to see Syd staring out the window.

"You see something out there?" I asked as I got up.

He didn't reply. He only tilted his head to get a better view. I walked over to the window.

I jumped at the sudden and unexpected sight of Roger sitting on the fire escape.

"Roger!" I called out as I opened the window. "There's a perfectly good staircase that leads up to a perfectly good door, you do know that, right?"

"Of course I do," he replied. "I just like messing with you."

He stepped into the room and dusted himself off. Then he walked over to Syd.

"Hey, buddy!" He exclaimed as he laid a hand Syd's shoulder.

"Roger," Syd mumbled to himself.

"Yeah?"

"Roger," he mumbled again.

"You got something to say?"

Syd kept repeating it over and over. Roger turned toward me, looking concerned. "Has it always been this overt?"

I shook my head, once again trying to contain my tears. "N-no. It's gotten worse these past couple weeks."

Roger approached me and looked down at me. He smiled gently then wrapped his arms around me. "It'll be okay. We'll get through this, Kat. We're all here for you."

We stood in each other's embrace for an extended amount of time. I didn't want to return to my dismal reality. I just wanted to be held.

Eventually we both pulled away. Roger looked me in the eyes again. "Really, Kat. I'm always here for you. If you need anything, and I do mean anything, I'll be right here for you, I promise that."

He still continued to stare deeply, his eyes appearing glassy, as if he were about to cry. He sniffled and then pulled me in for another hug. "I- I just love you too much to see you hurting. We're all hurting, but I can't imagine what you're going through."

"All right, Roger," I whispered as I gently patted his back.

He sobbed into my shoulder as I stood there, not knowing what to do. I was a little frightened. I'd never seen him like this before. I didn't know he had emotions. I thought his ego was too big for that.

Unexpectedly, Roger kissed me on the cheek and pulled me closer. I started to feel uncomfortable and pushed him away.

"Roger, are you all right?" I asked.

"I- I don't know. I thought you'd enjoy some affection. I Syd hasn't been himself and so-"

I let out a deep sigh. "Please leave, Roger. I already have enough to worry about."

I led him to the door and pointed the way out. "And next time you come to my home, don't use the fire escape."

---

A couple of hours later, there was a knock at the door. I trudged over and opened it up. "I swear to God, Roger, if you've come back for-"

It was David standing there, looking confused. "Sorry about what happened earlier, I-," he paused after realized what i had said. "Roger? Oh, boy. What did he do this time? I swear, I'll kill him... Goodness, he has no boundaries!"

"I didn't tell you what he did. And it was just nothing, anyway. Don't worry about it."

"It doesn't sound like nothing."

"David..."

"Kat, tell me."

"I don't-"

"Kat," he raised his voice to a more demanding tone, "if he hurt you or violated you or did something to you, I have to know. I'll get things straightened out."

"All right, well, he came over and saw Syd, gave me a hug, and kind of, well-"

"Out with it, for goodness sake!"

"He got a little too... Comfortable."

"That's it. Where'd he go?"

As David marched over to the door, I grabbed his shirt and tugged him back roughly. "David, really, it was nothing. I just needed him to leave. He was trying to help, but he just doesn't have a filter. He does the first thing that pops into his mind, and you know that."

David rolled his eyes. "Fine, I'll let him go- this time. But I have a feeling this isn't going to be the only time it happens. You know Roger. He thinks he's all that. Somebody needs to knock him down a peg or two; bruise his ego."

I chuckled. "He's a good guy, but yes, I'll admit, he does need to step down from his throne of delusional glory."

"Do you mind if I stay a while? I don't have any plans or anything tonight so I thought I'd hang out here."

"No, not at all. No date tonight?"

David looked down at the floor. "Um, yeah, no, actually. Haven't had much luck lately. No one really seems fit for me."

I went over and hugged David, trying to comfort him because him pain was very apparent. "Don't worry. You'll find a girl, and she'll be perfect for you- everything you ever wanted."

I started to walk away to get everything prepared for dinner. Then I heard David mumble to himself. I couldn't quite make out what he said.

"What was that, David?" I asked, turning toward him.

"Nothing, nothing. Go ahead with what you were doing."

"No, I definitely heard something."

"I- I sneezed, all right?"

"I've never heard a sneeze like that in my life."

"Kat, please. Just let it go. It's not important."

I let a few moments pass before I asked one more time. "David, can you tell me now?" I said with an innocent smile, as I was simply prying for fun.

But David, who appeared to be extremely serious, slid back his chair from the table and stood up, making his way over to me. He came very close to my face, and I could feel his warm breath on my skin.

He said sternly, "You're everything I've ever wanted."

He walked out and slammed the door. I stood there, dumbfounded. I looked over at Syd who was already gazing back at me.

He opened his mouth to speak. "I couldn't hear any of that. What did David say?"