Afternoon dawns on the horizon at the fastest speed. I look at the gold struck rays shining through the creaks of the branches above my head. The gentle breeze by the leaves makes me feel dizzy. I rest my back against the tree and close my eyes.

Today may be my last day in this world.

I will miss this.

My hands grip on the tree. A knot forms inside my throat as I lean my head on it. I whisper with pain.

"Now, Yeon has also left me... who do I have? Will you remember me, Ayra? You had been a good friend. Always calmed me by the cold wind you brought, you see."

I open my eyes, which land on the freshly dug soil. I have planted a seed of apple tree on it. On Yeon's grave.

"Yeon, I'm leaving you with Ayra." I smile through tears. "She will take good care of you. Shower you with wind, petals, and leaves. Won't you, Ayra? I know you will."

I sniff, feeling lost by the realization of every bit of energy draining out of my body. The back door opens, revealing a grim faced Mrs. Hyun.

"Mira," She calls out, her eyes sad and downcast. "It's time for you to get ready."

I wipe my tears away and get up. While going back, I turn behind me every second, staring at the grave of Yeon and imprinting the image in my mind.

Don't worry, Yeon. I will join you soon...

Suddenly, horrible nausea fills my stomach, and I let out a gasp. A sharp pain forms inside slowly. I grip Mrs. Hyun's hands, trying to steady myself.

"Oh, no..." Mrs. Hyun says worriedly, her eyes searching around if anyone is watching us, "Not now..."

She drags me on the corridor as I start coughing vehemently. My throat feels dry and slippery at the same time. I try to breathe, but no use. A hollow sound leaves my chest, like wind rushing into a locked chamber. Mrs. Hyun opens the door of my room.

"Sit, Mira... I will fetch some warm water quickly."

She rushes to the opened door and leaves the exit. I choke and cough harder. Drops of blood start staining my white skirt. I dab a finger under my nose, and realize it's bleeding.

"You wench, again?"

I look at the door, where father stands with an enraged face. He storms inside the room, grabs my hair, and pulls painfully. I cough out blood that splatters his face.

"You- you! Foul girl!"

He lets go of my hair to wipe the blood off his face hastily, as if it is poisoning him. I try to stable myself on the bed; My vision darkens and so does the color of blood I cought out.

"Look, I don't care. If you mess up, I am straight going to end this drama today!" I hear him screaming while throwing vases all over the place. "I'm done with your witch face in my house and I won't tolerate this anymore!"

"Sir, stop it!" the panicked voice of Mrs. Hyun echoes inside the vast room. Then, a pair of hands hold my shoulders securely. "She's only sick. Don't do that with her, please! Sir!"

The banging sound of crashed vases and glasses stops after some times. I try to lift my head, but it feels so heavy. My body collapses on the bed. Mrs. Hyun lets out a loud shriek. Through my hazy vision, I watch the retreating figure of my father as he closes the door. I begin coughing again.

"I-I just need to h-hold it until t-they leave the house, right?" I manage to speak. Mrs. Hyun is sobbing uncontrollably beside me, her grip on my shoulders has loosened. "That's i-it. R-right?"

"Yes." she answers in a muffled tone. I heave myself up with my arms. The mattress and my dress has a bloody artwork of crimson now. I inhale sharply.

"I-I will try. I will try not to mess up t-today. Then I c-can le-leave this world peacefully t-tomorrow."

"Don't s-say that!"

"But he will not be be p-proud, will he?" I say in a bitter voice as I place hands on my chest to suppress the coughs. "He will need to deal with my corpse after... nasty bit of work... I must say..."

"Mira, please, don't say that!"

"It's over, Mrs. Hyun." a dry chuckle leaves my mouth while I wipe the blood from my lips, "It's all over. But, don't you think it will be a bit of embarrassing for the man? A pretty tragic story. Bride died before the marriage..."

"For Almighty's sake, don't say that!"

"Quiet." I look at the door in case anyone was listening, "Don't be loud. Or else you will be in danger, Mrs. Hyun."

"I don't care." she starts soaking a handkerchief in the bowl of water and wipes my wrists with it. "I don't care about this menace anymore. I want you to live. Is that a very bad thing to wish for?"

I stare at her tear soaked face. Actually, I don't know myself that if it's a good wish, or not.

Two and half hours later, I find myself covered in another milky white gown made of silk. Mrs. Hyun puts a pair of gloves up my wrists. She lets my hair fall, which reaches the waist. My eyes land on the reflection of the mirror for a brief moment.

Except the dark shades under my eyes, and hollow cheekbones, I look thoroughly decent.

But Mrs. Hyun doesn't praise me. She never did, not that I ever wanted. She has never accepted the fact that she has to send me off in this kind of situation. It's always been a lose and lose game for her.

"Mira, please hold yourself in." though she says that, I know very well that she is speaking this by force; just for me to get back alive today. I nod and continue looking down on my lap. Crimson strands of hair fall down my shoulders.

"You only need to hold yourself until they have gone back after finalising the wedding." Mrs. Hyun ties my hair with a black ribbon and mutters. "I heard this family is from Gilham. That explains pretty much... because how they don't know about the rumour which everyone knows in this village."

"Is he a middle aged, or an old man?" I ask in a stiff voice. All the men who have come here to ask for my hand in marriage, were either divorcees, or interested in a second wife.

"I didn't bother to see." Mrs. Hyun sighs. "But Yurin says he's young."

I nod absent mindedly. Mrs. Hyun finishes her work and turns me at her. I stare at her gloomy face, waiting for her lips to move.

"Mira, promise me, you'll be back. You'll be back alive."

A chuckle leaves my mouth. My own words taste bitter on my tongue. The pain of breaking a promise has never felt this much strong.

"I'm not sure."

"You will." Mrs. Hyun says confidently, "I know that you will. Just come back to me, Mira. I can't lose you, too. After... Mrs. Kang and Aera."

My teeth graze on the lips. Suppressing the sobs and sending them back to my ribcage, I stand up from my seat. My eyes don't leave the ground. Mrs. Hyun has spoken, that noble ladies never look up from where they belong- the ground.

Did I want to be that?

A person always looking down at the ground?

I remember counting the stars. Yes, I do remember the light that once danced between my eyes. Those were bright times; I often feel as if they were just my imaginations or not. Listening to my mother's lullaby with my head placed on her lap and eyes searching the constellations, those moments surely felt dreamy.

I drag my body on the floor. There's no shred of hope stored inside my bones. No pounce of heart that belongs to me. No blink of eyes that holds interest, an essence of liveliness, or such. This way of living has turned me lifeless.

I have been losing everyday, every night. It's no use to fight anymore.

Now, I'm going to lose again.

I couldn't even save Yeon. How can I expect, or even wish, to save myself?

Everything looks hazy in my eyes. Mrs. Hyun makes me sit on the armchair. I mutter a small "Hello."- directed at none- and fall silent. The hollow sound in my ribcage chokes the soul out of my body; making me frightened of my own breaths.

"Charming," after a long time, or a very short moment- I can't decipher exactly- a croaky voice speaks up. "Your daughter is very charming, Mr. Kang."

"Sure, sure! My daughter doesn't only have a charming face, but also, she can cook, sing, dance, act, clean and..."

My father rumbles on his usual rubbish. I grasp the hem of my dress, feeling tainted and marked.

I can't do anything he's saying that I can.

There's no way I can call myself a noble lady.

Not that I even want to.

"Your name, my dear?" someone asks me in a interested voice, and it belongs to an woman. I take a deep breath, faking my voice to sound as soft as possible.

"Kang Mira."

"Beautiful name. Is it derived from the word Miracle?"

I stop myself from chuckling, with immense difficulty. There's no way my father has named me from a beautiful word like this.

"I named her after my great aunt, Miran." father joins in the conversation happily, "Such a lovely woman, she was. Sad that Mira couldn't see her. Or else she could had seen what a noble lady looks like in reality."

Everyone in the room lets out hums of disagree. But I can spot the venom in his words.

Slip!

My eyes leave the ground for a second at the sound of tea slipping on the surface of the table. I look in front of me, and a pair of astonished eyes meet mine. They are the darkest shade of blue, and wide. He has a handful of short bronze hair. I blink at the boy before me.

Is it him?

But... he looks younger than my age.

"My eldest son," an elderly woman with raven hair speaks proudly; a golden scarf wrapped around her neck, jewels on her ears and fingers, and a satin green gown adorning her plump figure. "Choi Yeonjun. He's a physician in Auoran. Got a plenty on his plate, you see. Nearly couldn't make here for the shortage of time."

But her hands are pointed at the opposite direction from the man before me. I have no intention being a noble lady anymore; so I look at where she is pointing.

Right then, at that particular second, my eyes do wonders.

I blink again. Have I gone blind? Or am imagining things?

"And this is my second son, Choi Soobin. He's a college senior. Can't stay without his elder brother, at all!"

She points at my direction this time, and I am pretty sure she's talking about the boy sitting in front of me now. But my eyes are still set on the first man she has mentioned. I want to avert my gaze, but an invisible pull seems to be binding me.

There's no way... he can be an Angel.

I stare at him, and he stares back at me. His eyes turn crescent shaped, just like his younger brother. But... do I spot a sparkle in them? There's a glint of thrill that is hidden in his dark, charcoal irises. Thin strands of black hair falling over his eyes are making them look more hypnotizing.

I use the last bit of my inner control to tear away my gaze from him, but before that, I still have managed to catch the faint smile on the side of his lips. I look down at the ground once again.

It begins dawning on me slowly.

The shadow of omen; enough for turning my world upside down. Enough for snatching away the last bit of hope to make it alive today.

My vision starts darkening, and I can't breathe freely. The hollow sound inside my chest intensifies. I ball up my fists, trying hard to suppress the coughs.

"Dear, have a glass of water!" the woman asks in a worried voice. "That can happen... pretty anxiety and all of that..."

I cover my mouth, tears gathering around my eyesight. I have to hold this in, they haven't decided yet if they want me or not...

My father's glowering eyes are burning behind my back. I don't feel safe anymore. I cough vehemently, and to my utter horror, blood seeps through my fingers; trailing down to my wrists steadily; and countless drops falling on the floor.

I withdraw my hands from my mouth, and watch the crimson slowly stain my dress. Blood flows down to my nostrils. Gasps of dread echoes throughout the room.

"Mr. Kang... your daughter- your daughter has the curse?" the woman asks, her eyes goggling out of their place. "And you have kept it hidden from us?"

"No! I mean- listen to me, my lady-"

"How dare you try to marry off your cursed daughter to our son!" she rises up from her seat, looking enraged. I don't look away. I have seen this scene everytime. They start screaming, call me horrible names, throw away the tray, and curse as they leave the house after wrecking a pretty havoc. It's always the same.

"Mother! How can you say this?"

A masculine voice speaks up. Mrs. Hyun tugs on my sleeves. I cough again.

The man I was staring at before, comes in front of my view. He has kneeled down before me. "Miss, for how long this has been going on?"

I can't help knitting my eyebrows together. But maybe, he can help you, my mind retorts. He's a physician, they said...

With blood streaming down to my lips and my tongue taking in the salty taste, I manage to answer.

"Ab-about six m-months."

He stares at me worriedly, until the woman speaks again.

"Come on, Yeonjun, we are leaving. There's no way we are letting our son marrying this cursed girl!"

I try to breathe out, but it only results me to cough even more. I don't break the eye contact with the man before me. Then he stands up and turns at his mother.

"Out of anyone else in this world, I wanted you to be considerate. Or... what should I say? Knowledgeable? There's no sort of curses in this world, mother. What're you even insisting, when your own son is a physician?"

"She's sick, Yeonjun!"

"Calling someone cursed and sick are totally different things!"

"And that doesn't matter," she demands roughly. "It doesn't matter is she's sick or cursed. She isn't healthy. Will be a burden upon our shoulders! This wasn't what we wanted it to be!"

"Mother, she's a human, not a thing. So, listen to me for once-"

"We're leaving. I don't want to hear anything, anymore." she turns to her younger son while covering herself with shawl. "Soobin, let's go-"

"You have left me no room for discussion," the man named Yeonjun, says in an unyielding tone. "This will come as a shock. But I'm going to marry her, dear mother."

He declares, and a pin drop silence falls over the room. The woman looks at him with pure horror in her eyes.

"What?" she asks, "Have you gone insane, son?"

"If you stop saying that she's cursed, I'm going to forgive you." the man states clearly. "It's a sickness. I expected my parents to have proper knowledge about this. You always look pretty happy when you announce that your son is a physician, so I thought maybe... you have it, you know. Brains. Seems like I'm wrong."

"Hyung's right." the boy with bronze hair agrees by nodding, "I never imagined you all still believe this nonsense."

"I know, right!" my father enters into their talk, nodding strongly, "I always knew- this' only a sickness, but people have a bad mouth..."

But the Choi brothers doesn't spare him a look of attention.

"Stop this!" their mother threatens again, this time tears gathering in her eyes. "I'm not going to allow you, ever!"

The man and his brother share a look between them. I try to be silent, but a large cough leaves my throat. Yeonjun turns back; his eyes are full of... anxiety?

"Miss." he seems to be at a loss of words as he stares at me. "I really wish I can help you right now. But I have left my stethoscope at home and..."

He makes an impatient sound, then turns to his brother. "Soobin? Is there any hospital around?"

"I'm pretty sure there's not." the boy shrugs. "I had a good lookout from the carriage. Didn't see a decent place for a hospital. This village is very much ravaged by the war. The nearest one is in Auoran."

"You have to get out of here." Yeonjun turns to me, his eyes glinting and determined. "If you want to live, then you have to leave this place."

I can't understand his tone. Is it a statement, or a wish?

"What are you two talking about?" the woman orders dismissively, "Come on, we are leaving!"

She storms off the room, Soobin following her from behind with brisk steps. Yeonjun stands up, and I stare at him with my feeble gaze.

"Don't worry about my mother, Sir." he speaks to father with a curt bow, "You can have my word. I'm giving my hand in this marriage."

He gives me the last smile, and turns away. Taking the coat from the sofa and swinging it over his shoulders, Yeonjun exits the room, too.

"I knew it! I knew they were going to get fooled!" my father bellows in truimph. Mrs. Hyun watches him leap on the floor with pure disgust. She gently tugs my shoulders and makes me stand.

"If he comes back, you will be saved, Mira." she starts pulling me to get me back to the bed. For the first time ever, there's hope in her tone. "Maybe you can leave this nightmare. Maybe, there's a chance..."

I have no guess about that. My legs go limp, and I hear a loud shriek coming from Mrs. Hyun's mouth before I have collapsed upon her.

a.n : this is similar to how I imagine Mira :-

my lovely girl, Maxi! Nah, Yeonjun isn't Riftan here dw 😂 but that could had been pretty hot, right?

tani, 30. 06. 2023.