And in that moment, Frank's head was filled with entirely too many emotions for him to even begin considering to comprehend as he found himself trapped in a continuous loop of glancing back and forth between Ryan and Gerard as the room hung in an odd kind of silence.

Because Gerard hadn't just done that, but he had, and Frank fucking longed to be able to slap the shit out of him like never before, because god, now everything was complicated and Ryan was going to ask questions, and tell Brendon and Brendon would make it a million times worse with a million more questions, and a million times the mess, and as Gerard grinned, leaning into Frank's side, with bright red hair sticking up at the most odd angles, it became all too evident that he really didn't care at all.

"Oh... I... I... uh..." Ryan genuinely looked like he was about to have a panic attack, and Frank didn't quite blame him, because he was also expecting that Ryan might see some dude in his bed as little as Ryan was, but of course, Frank couldn't comfort him with that, because he couldn't know that sometimes Ryan couldn't see Gerard, and he had to believe that Gerard was human, and fuck this kind of facade was so much harder, and Ryan didn't even fucking need to know that Gerard even existed.

Frank simply wished he was better at lying to people's faces, because that was seriously a skill he was going to be counting on like this.

"Hi..." Ryan finally concocted the most eloquent of responses, stepping forward a little, just to get a better look at Gerard, perhaps, and Frank could do little more but let him, and fucking stay as close to Gerard as possible, because Ryan was seriously going to ask some fucked up questions if Gerard started to grow just that little bit more transparent the more Frank moved away from him - even Frank himself wasn't quite used to this yet.

"Hey." Gerard added, raising his eyebrows and smiling up at Ryan. "Ryan, isn't it?" He continued, grinning like absolutely nothing was at all out of the ordinary and really it shouldn't be, but it was, and Ryan's head was fucking exploding with every single question on his lips.

"Y-yeah..." Ryan glanced at Frank, hoping he would perhaps just explain, but no, Frank was busy fighting the urge to punch Gerard in the face, despite the futile consequences, right then and right there, fucking in front of Ryan as well. "So... an explanation? Frank, who's this dude and what's he doing in your bed?"

"His name is Gerard and I don't think you want me to detail what we did in bed, but-" Ryan's eyes widened in disbelief, because god, Frank Iero having sex? It was outrageous: unheard of, even.

"So you have a boyfriend, or is this... like a one night stand or a prostitute, or... I'm not meaning to offend, but Gerard, you are seriously pretty enough to make it as a prostitute." And Ryan was stumbling over his words like motherfucking hell itself, and perhaps Frank would have laughed if his heart wasn't thudding isn't his chest with an overwhelming velocity.

"Thanks." Gerard grinned up at Ryan, brushing his hair from his face as he continued to talk. "But I'm his boyfriend, actually, surprisingly enough, like... you know how Frank is about these things, but that's Frank, and we've got to accept that."

"Yeah..." Ryan nodded, his eyes widening as he began to realise that perhaps this wasn't quite so much of a sudden madness but some kind of secret that Frank had been keeping for a while now. "So exactly how long have you known Frank?"

"Years, actually." Gerard admitted, and Ryan continued to gasp, "but the whole... dating thing was somewhat recent-"

"Yeah, tell him my whole life story why the fuck don't you?" Frank snapped, glaring at Gerard, and hating how he couldn't storm off for impact, because then Ryan would totally see how ghostly and not real Gerard really was.

"I'm not, Frankie, I'm just answering his questions, because someone has to, don't they? And you're not exactly in the best of moods right now, are you-"

"I want Starbucks, I told you-"

And Ryan chimed in with a, "haven't you ever heard of not bailing on Brendon for once, because seriously, Frank, I'm sorry, okay, it makes sense now, you're dating some guy in secret for some godforsaken reason, but me and Bren are your best friends and you're being an ass, and you said you'd meet Brendon at Starbucks today, and I came here to... to... find out what the fuck was going on, because we're worried about you, we really are," Ryan paused, glancing in Gerard's direction, "sorry, I... I don't shout this much, usually."

"It's fine-"

"Tell Brendon I might actually need some time away from the man who's so far up his own ass you can't make eye contact with him, for once, because Brendon's hard to be around; he's annoying, he asks too many questions, and I need some time to think: I have my own problems, you know?"

"Friends usually share their problems, you know?" Ryan narrowed his eyes at Frank.

"I'm sorry... I... it's... I can't explain-"

Ryan shook his head, "of course you can't, look, will you just fucking explain to Brendon that you have a boyfriend and that's what's taking your time up and just get a fucking drink at Starbucks and sort this shit out-"

"He keeps trying to set me up with assholes-"

"Then why, for fuck's sake, Frank, why did you not just tell him you have a boyfriend, hell, you didn't even have to specify as to who the hell this dude is, but just that you do have one, instead of just making everyone hate you, because that's what you do when you cut yourself off from us, and maybe you don't mean it, maybe you can't help it, but that's what happens, Frank, and I'm fucking sorry, but just go the fuck to Starbucks, will you?"

"Gerard's here... how about another day? How about tomorrow-"

"Frank-"

"I could come if that's not a problem." And dear god, Frank knew that that was absolutely the most problematic thing Gerard had ever said, and was perhaps even the most problematic thing that Frank had ever fucking heard.

"That'd be nice, actually, and then, Brendon could meet you, and it'd certainly help dig Frank out of this hole he's burying himself in-"

"No..." Frank shook his head firmly, "that's fucking not happening... I don't... I don't fucking... no."

"Why not?" Ryan widened his eyes.

"Look... I... can you not just give me a minute or two to talk this over with Gerard in private, because, I-"

"I'll give you an hour, but then I'm coming back and I'm taking you, regardless of whether Gerard is here or coming or not or whatever, and we'll go to Starbucks and keep Brendon fucking satisfied, and there you can have that fucking coffee, huh?" Ryan shook his head, making his way towards the door, "I'll lock the door behind me, don't worry."

And silence as the two waited motionless for the click of the lock of the front door, and then before Frank could even manage to prioritise what he wanted to scream at Gerard about, the taller man had him pinned down against the mattress, with his lips on his, and Frank couldn't fucking breathe, but god, he wasn't sure he even wanted to.

And as a few minutes passed, and Gerard began to drag his lips down to Frank's neck, the shorter man perhaps reckoned he had enough air in his lungs to consider forming a somewhat coherent sentence or even just an exclamation of some sorts. "What the fuck are you doing?"

"Shutting you up before you could start another stupid fucking argument that would do nothing but make things complicated again." Gerard added before connecting his lips back to Frank's neck.

"What... so we can't talk this out and I can't ask you just why the ever-loving fuck you thought that was a good idea? And hey, I didn't even fucking know other people could see you if you wanted to or whatever-"

Gerard let out a sigh, hovering above Frank a little, before placing his hand just a little too tightly around Frank's cock.

"What are you-"

"I know you can't yell at me or hate me when you want to fuck, Frank, and therefore this is the only way we can have some sort of civil conversation when you're riled up." Gerard grinned, "it's quite logical really, also I really love touching your cock, you know?"

Frank groaned, turning away from Gerard, to which Gerard responded by squeezing his grip, and god, Frank was not expecting that.

"Look at me." Gerard added, and needless to say, Frank obliged. "I got you out of a mess here, I didn't I? Ryan suspects something, a big kind of something, and I've written it off for you as just a boyfriend and he bought it, and then we don't have to touch on the time you spent in hospital that he doesn't know about, or the past he couldn't even imagine, because you know when I said you were turning into me, you've certainly got the secret fucked up past down perfectly."

"Ryan and Brendon don't need to know-"

"And neither did you when it came to me: you just wanted to, and I struggle saying no to someone as pretty as you." Gerard let out a sigh, "now come on, if we keep touching like just hold hands then I'm going to look real enough, and we've just got to make sure Ryan and Brendon don't touch me, and if you're cuddling up to me then I doubt they'll want to, so we just sit in a Starbucks booth and act all coupley and keep them occupied and it'll be fine."

"You're far too optimistic about this."

"You're far too pessimistic." Gerard countered, giving Frank another squeeze. "Hey, how about you go through with this and don't fuck your life up and I'll jack you off-"

"That's pathetic... I want a fuck, at least." Frank groaned, leaning back against the pillows, "but if you're ready for that, then yeah, we can fuck everything up by trying this stupid-ass plan of yours."

"We really don't have time for fucking now, though? Like we need to get dressed, and you need a shower, Frankie-"

"Are you saying I smell?" Frank exclaimed, his eyes widening in mortal horror.

"No, I'm talking about that boner of yours - go have a shower, get dressed, we go to Starbucks, and we'll fuck afterwards, and you can tell me how much of a shitty boyfriend I am, because that's what we are now, for certain now, boyfriends."

"You decided?" Frank raised his eyebrows at that one.

"Yeah, because you're terrible at making decisions, and I'm supposed to be older than you, I mean, I was born ten years before you, and I reckon you should listen to me if you want that fuck later, you know, just saying?" Gerard grinned, rolling over as Frank stumbled out of bed, glancing down at his cock and shaking his head in disbelief.

"I'm totally jacking off in the shower." Frank added.

"I know." Gerard smiled, "be nice and loud, will you, just so I can be sure to hear you over the water." And that fucking wink and smirk, and god, Frank knew that Gerard was absolutely the worst influence on him in the world, but fucking hell, he wanted this grave Gerard was digging for him, if it meant he got to hold his hand.

Because come on, just how bad could this whole Starbucks thing possibly be? It wasn't like Brendon would at all suspect that Gerard wasn't really quite as real as he thought or anything, would he? And it wasn't as if there'd be any reason at all for Frank to let go of Gerard's hand, would there?

And Frank stepped into the shower all too fucking naive, and all too fucking optimistic, and it was all Gerard's fault, but Frank reckoned he could do little but embrace that at this point.

Because it was summer ten years ago all over again, and Frank reckoned that with Gerard, it would always be like this: a fucked up mess of heart driven emotions and the kind ending that no one deserved, because if you didn't look before you jumped, you could hardly expect to land on your feet, could you?

-

This was the worst idea in the whole damn world, and of course, simultaneously, the best, and Frank fucking knew that, and he fucking hated how he couldn't just slap Gerard across the face every five seconds, because damn, that was absolutely what he felt like doing, but what he had to do was, of course, hold tightly to Gerard's hand, to keep him believable, and to keep him 'real', and there wasn't a chance in hell that this was going to work, but there also wasn't a chance in hell that Gerard was going to let Frank just not do this.

And Frank could tell that without even uttering a single word, because Gerard was fucking grinning to himself as the two made their way down the street, Frank holding perhaps even too tightly to Gerard's hand, like this boyfriend of his, was a balloon he feared for just floating off into nothing, because well, with Gerard like this, the aforementioned didn't perhaps seem quite so absurd.

Frank glanced once again at the red haired man, and let out a sigh, because fuck, it may have fooled Ryan for a few minutes, but Brendon was always very insistent that they spent a significant amount at Starbucks, like seriously, Frank was beginning to suspect that Brendon was actually homeless and simply lived in Starbucks, because he worked there and hung out there, so it was either that or that he really appreciated the staff discount, which of course made sense, but Starbucks was still fucking overpriced as shit.

"Do you think Brendon will like me?" Gerard said out of nowhere; his head evidently elsewhere, and that really wasn't what Frank needed now - he needed him here, every fucking part of him, and perhaps not just physically here, because Brendon was pissed, Frank knew that, and he needed someone on his side, or something.

"Depends what kind of mood he's in." Frank answered honestly, "I don't think he's in the best of moods, though, if I'm honest, so good luck, Gerard, however, you have some sort of persuasive gift, like seriously, I don't hate you, and you fucking killed yourself and fucked up my life, so that's seriously something, Gerard."

"I'm not sure whether I should say thank you to that or not." He added, a grin tugging at the corners of his lips.

"How about you just shut the fuck up for once in your life, because goddamn, Gerard, you so didn't need to say anything to Ryan at all-"

"Frank, I fucking helped you out and you know it, so shut up, okay? You're just nervous, and I can't blame you, but it's gonna be fine, I promise you." And there was an odd sincerity in Gerard's voice that Frank felt awkward with.

"You can't promise me that if it hasn't happened yet." He rolled his eyes, slowly their pace as the Starbucks came into sight, because Frank totally wasn't stalling here at all, nope, no, absolutely not.

"I can, guess what, Frankie? I can predict the future too-"

"Gerard! What the fuck? I? I-"

"I'm just messing with you, Frankie, that's not true- or is it? How could you possibly know-"

"Gerard, I will not fucking hesitate to punch you the fuck in the face if you don't shut the fuck up." Frank shook his head in disbelief, and continued to groan internally as they reached the Starbucks door.

"Getting bossy now, are we, Frankie?" And it was like Gerard was trying to get himself punched here, and maybe it was just because he knew that Frank couldn't and wouldn't risk anything at this point, and therefore Gerard would be safe with Frank just being more than just a little agitated.

"Shut the fuck up, and come inside, and fucking behave alright, it's like you're my kid and not my boyfriend, you know?" Frank shook his head in disbelief, reaching out for the door handle, only to have both his actions and his blood circulation cut off as Gerard uttered one final 'witty' comment.

"Well, Frank, I'm certain you could have found a much more practical way to tell me that you want to be my daddy-"

"Gerard! Don't you fucking dare, or there will be no fucking, no kissing, no nothing, you got that?" Frank glared, leaving Gerard to continue to grin and nod at him as they made their way inside, and Frank felt like he'd been shot through the skull as he met Brendon's gaze, well, Brendon's glare, and perhaps Ryan hadn't quite gone into the extent of Brendon's 'mood'.

"He does not look happy to see us." Gerard added, grinning a little, but Frank was in no fucking mood, tightening his grip on Gerard's hand, perhaps even enough to make it hurt, as they made their way over to the table that Brendon and Ryan were sat at.

"Hey..." Frank exhaled loudly, as he met Ryan's gaze, doing all he could to avoid Brendon's, and for rather obvious reasons. "So... yeah... this is Gerard, and I..."

"Why didn't you just tell us about your goddamn boyfriend, Frank?" Brendon exclaimed, glaring between the two of them, and even going as far as to shake his head a little. "That would have made everything simple, you know that? But no, you're Frank, and you have to make a fuss out of every fucking thing because you just live for the attention."

"Bren, leave it." Ryan gave his boyfriend a look, before meeting Gerard's gaze and forcing his best attempt at a 'welcoming' smile on him. "I'm sorry, Brendon's, well, Brendon, look, come on, you don't want to give Gerard the wrong impression, do you? Gerard's really nice, you know."

"I'm so sorry you're dating such an asshole." Brendon said, with the utmost sincerity, as the two sat down, Gerard doing all he could not to burst into a fit of laughter as he did so.

"Thank you for your sympathy." He added as they sat down, leave Frank to glare and shake his head like it was the only thing he could do. Brendon chuckled a little in response, and just a little at Frank's expression. "He's alright really, he's just a bit moody, you know, but he's pretty great from time to time, gotta admit. I mean, I wouldn't date him if he wasn't, but, you know what I mean-"

"Shut the fuck up." Frank interrupted him with a shake of his head, "stop being such an asshole for once, come on."

"He's the asshole?" Brendon chuckled, widening his eyes a little.

"Yeah..." Frank trailed off, turning away, "he is."

Gerard sighed out, and avoided Brendon's gaze, and in consequence, winding up with Ryan's, but there was a certain sympathetic understanding there that Brendon couldn't help but appreciate.

"So, Gerard, what do you do? What kind of person are you, we didn't get much of an opportunity to chat earlier did we? And well, Brendon doesn't know you at all." Frank smiled a little, because trust Ryan to fit everything back together, and he let him, and he let them have their own little conversation, because he needed his eyes on the world outside, and his hand in Gerard's: a reminder of who he was and what this all was.

And suddenly, outside, something that meant the entire world, and still very little whatsoever: one single snowflake from the skies, the first snowflake, and suddenly, so many more. It was beautiful, but Frank turned back to the table, and snuck a glance at Gerard, and knew instantly that the world outside didn't for a moment compare to the boy beside him and everything they had between them.

"Oh, yeah, I don't have a job right now, but, I like punk rock, and art, and Frank, importantly, Frank, and coffee, I really like coffee actually, and god, I'm so bad at describing myself, but I... Frankie?" Frank jumped as Gerard turned to him, "you okay? I'm sorry, okay, it was a joke, I love you really."

"I know." Frank smiled, shuffling a little closer to his boyfriend, "of course I know that, I'm just tired, that's all."

"He lets you call him 'Frankie'?" Brendon exclaimed, his eyes widening a little as he looked between Gerard and Frank. "Jesus Christ, you have some sort of witchcraft powers, you do, I think I called him Frankie and he punched me in the face once."

"You were being an asshole, you know?" Frank added, but Brendon wasn't fussed.

"He told me someone he knew a long time ago used to call him that, and they were special to him, and then he lost them, so he doesn't want anyone else to call him that, but dude, you must be really damn amazing then." Brendon exclaimed, and oh, if only he knew what Frank and Gerard both did in that moment - that the person from 'a long time ago' was the very man before him.

"I feel honoured, quite honestly, I don't deserve him, if I'm honest, he's just so, you know, perfect?"

"You know when I think about Frank Iero, asshole and idiot are more of words that come to mind." Brendon added, laughing a little.

"Yeah, those too, but... I mean, I am a gay man, I do love assholes." And in that very moment, Brendon was absolutely sold on Gerard and would have probably given him the keys to his house and his credit card number if he'd asked.

"I love them too." Ryan added, gesturing in Brendon's direction, and causing the shorter man to glare the fuck out of him. "Oh fuck off, Brendon, you're such an ass, and you know it, so shut the fuck up."

"So how did you two meet? God, this is so weird, I didn't know Frank was at all capable of love, I thought it was all 'I'm an asshole I hate the whole fucking world, and especially you'," Brendon continued, grinning as he did so, "you must be really good in bed or something, you know-"

"Brendon-" Frank exclaimed, perhaps just a little out of breath, because oh dear lord, Brendon Urie needed to be executed, and he needed to be executed immediately.

"So what is it, Frank? Because sure, he's pretty, but no, you'll say 'no' everyone in the whole damn world, because you're so up your own ass I genuinely doubt that there's much room for anyone's cock."

"He's special, you know, I kind of feel it, like something, like this is important, you know? I just care a lot about him, and he's gorgeous, and all kinds of stupidly hilarious, and I hate him so much you don't even know, but still, I can't stop thinking about him and I just care so much - it's a mess, a fucking mess, and god, he's also very good in bed, by the way, but he makes me coffee, you know, and that's very important? And it's weird, because he's just so nice, especially recently, like it makes me a bit uncomfortable sometimes because I really don't deserve someone being this nice to me, but-"

"Shut the fuck up, you really do."

"Dudes, dudes, no making out here, okay!" Brendon exclaimed, perhaps just a little concerned for his mental stability there.

"So do you still hate me, Brendon?" Frank added, raising his eyebrows a little.

"Only a bit, because you're an asshole, but, you're happy and I'm respecting that, and I'm a bit jealous that Gerard's taking up all of your time, honestly, I miss us hanging out, but like, you're cute together, and Gerard's cool so-"

"Cool?" Frank retorted, laughing as he did so, "I really don't think so."

"I'm so fucking cool, like seriously, fight me, Frankie, come on-"

"Gerard's cooler than you, all I'm saying." Ryan added, grinning as he did so, because seeing Frank happy like this was a change, but one hell of a welcome one too, and that meant something: so much even.

And Ryan even felt like he knew so much about Gerard from just today, but really, from the hands held tight under the table, to the pills in the forest back in Jersey, Ryan knew nothing at all.

-

i am super tired though ayy but thank you very much for reading and votes and comments would be so very very nice !!! i love you all lots