Oooooo boy, here we are again, friends.

I just saw someone on TikTok headcanon a character as ace... and the comment section was FILLED with people saying that character can't possibly be ace because she's canonically had several romantic crushes.

Oh my good lord I just- I had to get out of the comment section so quickly.

So, let's use this opportunity to discuss different types of attraction because this is an prominent topic in the asexual experience .

So, obviously the big one is physical/sexual attraction. From my understanding, this is... when you look at someone and they turn you on? I think? Like... I legitimately don't know how to describe it but I'm guessing most of you reading this are allo so you know what I'm trying to say 😂

Asexuality is feeling little to no sexual attraction. So most people who identify as ace do not get turned on when they see another person. But just because someone is asexual DOESN'T MEAN they won't experience other types of attraction.

Today, I will discuss three other types of attraction- romantic, platonic, and aesthetic. I think these can be hard to recognize in every day life when you're allo, but it comes to the forefront when you're ace because you're missing the sexual attraction that often occurs with these other attractions and probably drowns them out.

Some asexuals experience romantic attraction. The best way I can think to describe this is when you look at someone and you're smitten. You want them to be yours, you want to hold their hand and hug them and go on dates. Personally, I don't like kissing because I hate when people's lips touch me BUT most people who experience romantic attraction crave kisse, cuddles, etc. - just... romantic love. For allosexuals, this probably goes hand-in-hand with sexual attraction a lot of the time. Like sexual attraction, romantic attraction is a spectrum. An ace could be heteroromantic, panromantic, homoromantic, biromantic, OR aromantic. Aroaces are individuals who don't experience sexual AND romantic attraction. BUT NOT ALL ACES ARE ARO AND NOT ALL AROS ARE ACE.

Think of a Venn diagram. On one side, there's asexuals. On the other side, there's aromantics. In the middle, the small section of overlap, is aroaces.

Next, platonic attraction. This is where you meet a person and you're drawn to them in a way that lacks physical or romantic ties- it's purely emotional, if that makes sense. You want to be close with this person and get them to laugh and smile. You want to impress them and talk to them- basically, you REALLY want to be their friend. In the ace community, we call this a squish (get it? Like a crush, but smaller). And this is not exclusive to aces or aros- I've seen plenty of allo people, once a squish is described to them, realize that they've also had squishes! It's completely normal but I think it's something allos often don't recognize because they're capable of feeling sexual attraction (which elicits a more power response than platonic attraction).

Finally, there's aesthetic attraction. This one's easy- you find someone pleasing to look at, without sexual, romantic, and emotional inclinations towards that person. This is the attraction I experience the most often. Fictional characters or celebrities, for example. I say they're "hot", but to me personally, I just find them aesthetically pleasing to look at. It's like looking at pretty plant- I look at Tom Holland and go "oh! He's very pleasing to look at :)" but I do not want to have sex or hold hands with Tom Holland. Often, aesthetic attraction occurs within romantic or sexual attraction, but obviously it doesn't have to, and that's not exclusive to aces. A straight girl can still recognize when another girl is pretty- why? That girl is aesthetically attractive.

There are a couple other types of attraction, but I'm not as well-versed in those so I wouldn't feel comfortable teaching them to you. As always, if you have questions about aces, I'm always here to educate!