Kaitlyn: GIVE IT UP FOR AMERICA'S FAVORITE FIGHTING FRENCHMAN

Me: *jumps up* LAFAYETTE

~~~

Me: I go to France for more funds. I come back with more guns. ಠ◡ಠ

Michelle: Please don't use guns.

Alexis: Yeah you're scary enough with knives

~~~

Me: *sees my friend Eliza*

*gasps and runs up to her* Eliza, I don't have a dollar to my name,

Eliza: ?

Me: an acre of land, a troop to command, a dollop of fame,

Eliza: Wait no

Me: All I have's my honor, a tolerance for pain,

Eliza: Shelby I don't want this

Me: a couple of college credits and my top notch brain!

Eliza: you know I'm bisexual right?

Me: Insane, you're family brings out a different side of me. Peggy confides in me, Angelica tried to take a bite of me

Eliza: I'm attracted to girls Shelby. I could consider this as you trying to hit on me

Me: No stress! My love for you was never in doubt! We'll get a little place in Harlem and we'll figure it out!

Eliza: *gives up and just tunes me out*

~~~

Mom: I need to start buying stuff of Thanksgiving, we-

Me: ARE OUTGUNNED, OUTMANNED

Mom: Get away from me

~~~

Me: I will send a fully armed battalion to remind you of my love ;)

Lindsey: Okay ಠ◡ಠ

Me: Okay abort mission *walks out of room*