Earlier today

Alexis: What are you gonna be for Halloween (even though I don't Trick or Treat anymore)?

Me: Hmmm... Maybe Toby. (It's a joke because you can't actually see him)

Alexis: Ohhh... You should be America ಠ◡ಠ

Me: ... wait wut

Saturday

Me: You don't have to worry about me having kids I won't even get a boyfriend let alone a husband.

Alexis: What about America? ಠ◡ಠ

Me: ... Wait do you have Wattpad?

Mom: Huh?

Me: Nothing.