This is a real life conversation people

Me: Would you like to watch the Hunger Games?

Alexis: Only if you stop doing your Polish accent.

Me: I can't stop if I want to practice.

Alexis: You sound Russian.

Me: I AM NOT RUSSIAN LET ME LIVE

Alexis: SPEAK ENGLISH

Me: NEIT

Alexis: ...

Me: DAMNIT THAT'S RUSSIAN I FORGOT

Alexis: *Katniss Everdeen voice* YOU'RE A LIAR

Me: THAT'S IT I'M NOT INVITING YOU TO MY POLISH WEDDING IN WARSAW

Alexis: WHY WARSAW

Me: BECAUSE I WANT TO BE POLISH

Alexis: You're already 12% Polish!

Me: I'M JUST AS POLISH AS I AM ENGLISH AND I HATE IT

Alexis: WHY

Me: JUST LET ME MOVE TO POLAND WHERE IT'S ILLEGAL TO OWN GUNS

Alexis: Wait really?

Me: I don't know they seem to be illegal everywhere but here. That's why I love it here I can shot the people trying to shot me

Alexis: Who's trying to shoot you?

Me: The Communists

Alexis: Are they here?

Me: THEY'RE EVERYWHERE

Alexis: I'm communist

Me: BYE I'M LEAVING

Alexis: NO LET ME LOVE YOU

Me: NEIN

Alexis: ICH LIEBE DICH

Me: DON'T SPEAK GERMAN ONLY I CAN DO THAT

Alexis: ICH LIEBE DICK

Me: ...

Alexis: ...

Me: ....

Alexis: I'm so sorry

Me: Get out of my house