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December 24, New York City, USA – Mary

Lenny smiled at me across the screen of my phone. A small smile also appeared in the corner of my mouth. "Happy Christmas Eve," Lenny said after a while. "You too," I returned. For a few seconds we looked at each other in silence. I couldn't figure out where he was. However, it was damn loud and he seemed very sleepy. He looked good with the messy hair. Almost too good. Then I made up my mind. "Lenny?" I asked. "Yes?" I took a deep breath. "I love you." He looked at me for a moment in surprise. Then he smiled. "I love you too, Maria." I felt myself blushing. "Sleep well," Lenny said and hung up. At that moment, I knew I had finally to break up with Josh. I immediately swiped through Instagram and landed on Josh's profile within seconds. The photos he posted of us were really nice. And I connected all these pictures with memories that I really didn't want to forget. That's how it was with first love. She could hurt so much.

I went to my profile and removed the "J" from my biography. The heart stayed behind, but no one would understand. I archived all the pictures I had posted with Josh and deleted the highlight in which we had reacted to each other's stories. Finally, I went to our chat. My hand floated over the phone for a few seconds, then I typed a message. "Hey Josh. A lot has happened in the last few weeks and that's why I have to tell you about it. I've been accepted into this absolutely fantastic family. Carol, the mother, is really great and takes care of me as if I were her real daughter. Sina is a little girl and always busy. She can mess with you a lot, but she also understands when you need peace. God, I love that girl. And then there's Lenny. He's the exchange student you already know. is with my family in Australia, you know? Before he went to Australia, he was here for a week. And, Josh – I fell in love with him." I had to take a deep breath before I could continue writing.

"I'm breaking up with you, Josh. I love someone else. I'm sorry." I sent the message and dropped my phone on my bed. The bed Lenny had slept in for years. My friend's bed. I smiled happily. I threw myself on the pillows and felt free for the first time in my life. I was free from any obligations, duties or decisions. I didn't carry a secret with me anymore. I could start over and finally live for myself. Live my dream. I knew Lenny would accompany me on this journey without trying to stop me. He would support anything I put into my head. Josh never did that. But Josh didn't count anymore. As of today, I would live and cease to exist. As of today, yesterday didn't count.

I looked at the ceiling of the room and knew everything would be fine from now on. From now on, I could fulfill all my dreams.

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