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November 28, New York City, USA – Lenny

Mary and I sat silently next to each other on the subway, while Sina cheerfully told us all about her new friend. I listened to her with only one ear, because I was too busy with my thoughts. She had actually kissed me. Right, no mistletoe. And I loved it. Every millisecond I had enjoyed and I could have done it again. Right now. But I wanted to talk to Mary first. I wanted to know what we were going to do next. And what that had been for her. I didn't want to rush – because I was actually serious. I never would have imagined it – but Mary was actually the girl I loved. And it took me two days to admit that. Two days in which so much had happened. But I wasn't aware of how much a couple of hours could make for each other. I wanted to love her and I wanted it to work. But I guess we needed time.

At least those were her words when we sat on my bed and talked at night. "I have a life in Australia. I've played happily all my life. I wanted to get out at some point because I couldn't stand it anymore. I wanted to see more than sand and sheep. I wanted to go out into the world. And now I'm here and-" She interrupted herself. "Then I come and ruin everything.", I finished the testimony. "No, that's not true. I'm the only one who's ruining anything around here.I looked at Mary confused. "The day I found out I was coming here, I was still with my boyfriend." I slowly closed my eyes. She wasn't serious. Why didn't she mention that? "I've known Josh since I was sixteen. We always talk about getting married one day and have always dreamed of a future together. There, in Australia. We wanted to go to the city, live. We wanted so much, Lenny." She looked at me. "And then I come here and fall in love with someone I hardly know in seconds." "Why have you never said anything?" I ask in a trembling voice. "Because it was never an issue."

"Why did you insist that I kiss you?" I asked her. "Because I wanted to.", she admitted. Ouch. So I was just a substitute? "Lenny," she began. "Excuse me, Mary. But we really shouldn't do that. I should just fly to Australia and you stay here. Just as planned. Let's stop pretending it's possible otherwise." I saw the tears in her eyes. "Lenny..." Mary whispered lightly. It broke my heart to see her like this. But what choice did I have? I wouldn't break that innocent boy's heart. He seemed to love Mary. Really to love. I got out of bed and walked to the door. Mary desperately tried to hold back the tears. "I'm sorry, Lenny.", she said weepingly. "I really wish things were different." I bit my lip and pressed down the doorknob. "Maybe in the next life, Mary."

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