"Are you crazy?" Ada growled at Rafe. They were off Byron's territory now, in the neutral zone. They had cars waiting down the road, and a decent amount of Byron's enforcers. He hadn't refused to aid them, despite having lost his 'bargaining chip'.

It infuriated Tristan that Byron even thought of her that way.

"I've been accused of that, yes." Rafe chuckled. Tristan just stared at him.

"I'm not letting her get away. I've waited far too long for this." Rafe said in a more serious manner.

They had relayed everything they had found out about those females to him once he admitted to Tristan those girls that had escaped with his mate, were daughters of his own. He scented her on them. Tristan felt odd about it.

...what were the chances of that?

Rafe was now determined to hunt her down before they could leave the woods again.

So they told him everything the Navarre had told them. Their names, that Gila was a desert female Alpha daughter who deserted her pack and went rogue to avoid an arranged mating, and that they were basically nomads. They never stayed anywhere for long periods of time.

One of her young's mates was in Navarre. Rafe immediately sent one of his scouts back to tell them to leave the area, Tristan had overheard him even offer them protection on his land. Impending wars were never kind to the small packs that got caught in the crossfire.

Rafe hadn't even met his mate yet, and was already making sacrifices for her...

It made Tristan feel odd. Regretful.

"It doesn't mean you go at it alone, especially with everything going on." Ada growled at him. Hutch just put a hand on her shoulder.

"It's worked for him thus far. He can probably get around better going unnoticed, more will just draw attention." He said. Tristan kept glancing toward the south.

The pulling connection was gone. Everything he'd felt previously... was gone. It felt wrong, not to have any kind of feeling where she was or how she was.

It was panicking his wolf not knowing.

"Safe travels then." Rafe said as he looked at Tristan again. Tristan felt the frustration rise.

"I'll bring her back to my territory, if they fled down toward the south roads in the human region which I suspect, I'll take them around on the human roads and go through the Northern pass region, I'll keep her safe." He said. Tristan tightened his jaw. Going around the forest rather then through it did settle his nerves, it meant that they wouldn't be trekking back through an area near Cecil or Arthur, but that would triple the length of the journey through heavy human settlements.

The frustration rose to actual anger when it was truly settling in he wouldn't be seeing her for a while. He wanted to go. It was almost painful holding his wolf back. He glanced to his grandfather again.

His grandfather thought it best they get home, and prepare for the inevitable conflicts to come. He knew their homeland was vulnerable, even with their preparedness.

As an Alpha, he knew he was supposed to put the pack first.

...but his wolf was seeing things differently. He felt desperation, a deep sense of loss. It was digging a hole in the pit of his stomach that wasn't going away.

Tristan tried to make peace with his irritated wolf by reminding himself that they needed a pack to live and be safe, so he should deal with this and let Rafe track them down... but his inner self was still not seeing it that way.

Tristan was tired of being so out of synch with himself. It felt like he had been since the moment he met her... and it was starting to feel like he never would be again.

...except for the night he spent with her. He realized it was the first time he felt normal again... better than normal. Everything had felt right.

Tristan clenched his jaw at the thought that it all got so screwed up again.

The distress of their bond breaking was not going away. It just seemed to have sunk deep inside him and was constantly there in the back of his mind. And the worry that they could never get it back.

He looked at Rafe again. The damn wolf was acting so ridiculously giddy it was hard to see him as the Alpha he was at that moment. Tristan knew of his prowess, he was probably the only Alpha among them all Tristan would have trouble taking down.

He knew he could entrust her to him... Rafe was confident in his plan. But it still wasn't sitting right with him. He couldn't help it.

"They're here, we have to go, and fast." Hutch said. Tristan glanced over at the trucks. All their own reinforcements had arrived.

They weren't taking any chances this time...

"I'll keep her safe. Go get ready, if they are going to attack us, it will be you they hit first." Rafe reminded him, before he shifted and darted off into the woods alone.

Tristan took a hard breath before he glanced over at the trucks. He couldn't let himself think anymore, because the realization that he would be running away from her again, was just getting to be too much.

"Let's go." He growled.

-

Lily sobbed in Gila's arms as she held her close and petted her wet hair. She couldn't stop herself, despite how hard she was trying.

They sat sideways on the side of the van, parked just within the trees, just off the highway a short distance. It was on the opposite side of where they were before with Navarre, the river had taken them miles away from the pack territory. They were more in the human region now.

Trucks rumbled the ground every once in a while from the road far behind them.

Sil was building a fire and Mia was standing beside them mixing a strong smelling remedy in a mortar. Imee and Inaya were snuggled up beside them.

"Shhh... that male who did this to you is not worth your tears." Gila said as she stroked her hair. Mia moved over to her side, and Gila bunched Lily's hair over her shoulder as Mia dabbed on a thick paste to a leaf, before she gently placed it gently over the wound on her neck. It stung, but Lily kept still. Gila made her move so Mia could do the same to her others. They were oozing blood again from the long fall into the river and the running they did to get back there.

Lily hadn't felt them much. The rush of adrenaline had kept the pain at bay.

But when Mia placed the leaf over the claim mark, the one that took on the other side of her neck, she couldn't help but flinch hard.

It sent a spark of pain through her chest. Gila frowned at her as she observed her face.

"Are you still mad?" Mia asked tentatively once she'd finished dabbing a bit of the remedy on the swollen side of her face. Lily frowned. She saw how angry Gila was when they came walking up to the camp soaking wet.

But relief had over taken Gila's fury upon seeing her and she just hugged her. It's what broke Lily down again.

Lily thought she had been done crying.

"I'm not mad, I was worried. I told you girls to wait for me. Dealing with these packs is dangerous," Gila growled.

"Mom, you're about to push out a pup, I told you we could handle it. It was my call. We caught her scent, I didn't know if we'd get the chance again, scouting them wasn't easy." Sil growled back. Gila sighed deeply as she rubbed her forehead.

"And look what they did to her!" Rin snarled from her place poking at the fire. Lily knew how mad they were, the moment the adrenaline rush stopped, and they got safely away, Sil was the first to grab her face to truly look at her.

She had never seen her sister so furious.

"I'm just sorry we couldn't get you sooner, we just couldn't figure out how." Mia said. Lily felt their eyes on her. She took a shaky breath as the emotion of it hit her. They never abandoned her. They'd been trying all this time...

...why did she doubt?

"I'm sorry... it's my fault." Lily said. She thought back to that night she reacted badly. So regretted it so much.

Lily just wanted to get far away from there... and never come back.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you the truth." Lily said quietly as Gila finally pushed herself up to stand and stretch, she rubbed at her lower back. Lily focused on her round belly for a moment. She didn't know why it made her wolf suddenly restless.

"I don't live in the past. What's important is now. Tell me everything." Gila said firmly. Lily looked up at her, before she looked to the others.

She felt odd. She didn't want to relive everything... especially not in front of them. The mark on her neck was making her feel dirty...

Imee crawled into her lap before she snuggled up against her. Lily sniffed a bit, trying not to break into tears again as she wrapped her arms around her and held her close.

She nuzzled into her hair and took a deep breath of her comforting pup scent and let it soothe her. She'd missed her... She'd missed them all.

"Sil was so kind as to fill me in up until now." Gila said as she shot her an annoyed look. Sil quickly looked away. Lily felt even guiltier.

She hadn't meant to cause a rift, or get Sil in trouble for keeping her secret.

"Did your gifted do that to you?" Rin asked. Her tone was odd. Lily swallowed the sudden lump in her throat. Her wolf felt immediately defensive. But she understood the confusion.

Tristan's scent was still... embedded in her. She knew they knew she wasn't untouched anymore. She thought back briefly to her time with him, and how at peace she had felt.

It felt strange to her, how just a day would change everything so drastically.

"No." Lily said firmly. She still felt uncertain,

"And why does it smell like you just finished your heat?" Sil asked. She still sounded angry. Lily nuzzled Imee's head and took another shaky breath, before she told them, everything, and avoided eye contact the entire time.

She stayed as vague as possible, trying to keep to facts only. She barely gave any details, only brief explanations and left out anything she didn't feel was important. Gila listened quietly, never interrupting. Lily didn't miss how Sil straightened up with interest when Lily admitted she'd spent a night with her gifted.

But then she went on, to all the hell that happened after.

She held Imee the whole time, hugging her close. The little pup didn't mind. She was content to be in her arms again.

The shared kinship of being half winter wolf had always felt warming.

But the entire time she talked, Lily was starting to recognize a strange numbing feeling inside her. It was alarming at first, not knowing what it was, but it proved helpful when she got to the worst of it.

... that she lost her gifted's bond.

They all stared at her with shocked pained expressions. Gila's expression was both horror and heartbreak. The silence that followed her finishing was deafening.  Lily avoided their eyes.

The numbness was spreading now, deep in her chest. She was suddenly grateful for it, because she no longer felt that dreaded chain inside her.

The thought of that terrible tasting drink Sawyer gave her came back to her mind. What did he give her?

"That's... really fucked up." Mia finally said to break the eerie quiet that settled. Lily chanced a glance at them. They were avoiding her eyes now. Gila was rubbing her forehead with her hand. Stress was obvious in her.

"I was going to wait until the morning, but I think we should leave now, we can just sleep in the van, we have to get back to Wayla. Brielle may know what to do." Gila said as she looked at her again with another look of pain. It was clear she was grieving for her.

Lily met her eyes, and couldn't help that another warm tear escaped. Gila moved forward and gently brushed her hair back.

"Sil, you need to run back to Navarre now and be stealthy about it. Tell them the packs are going back to war. They need to flee the area, and fast. We will pick you up in that road to the south west of them." Gila said firmly.

Lily knew why, smaller packs that lived near large pack conflicts ended up in a difficult position. Sometimes the larger packs would even take out the Alphas family and steal the whole pack just to strengthen themselves. Or they would just wipe them out to keep the other pack from doing so...

Lily looked at Sil, before she glanced to Mia and Rin.

They too exchanged glances. Lily had not missed their interaction with Rafe. The suspicion was there. It was undeniable.

And it made her feel strange in the pit of her stomach, because she knew what that meant for them.

No more wandering. No more carefree rogue life. No leaving...

They would be stuck there... right in the middle of all this conflict. A tenseness fell between them.

"Er.. mom... about that..." Rin said hesitantly.

"I think... maaayyybbee... we may have found your mate?" She said uncertainly. Gila just stared at her for a moment, before her gaze snapped to Sil. Sil gave her a sheepish look. Gila looked at Lily next. She held her gaze.

So many things were going through Lily's head. She knew Gila was an Alpha daughter, why had she never considered the possibility that her mate could have been among the Alphas of the woodland?

And Rafe... Lily had recognized his strange reaction to Rin. She knew all pups carried their parents scents.

Rafe had always been good to her. She knew he was a good male by their interactions alone. And as she looked at Gila now... she could see so many similarities in their manner, the kindred spirits in them... the balance Gila often spoke of. Both had waited and searched. For so long.

It pained her heart suddenly. How many times had they just missed eachother? Lily remembered clearly what Rafe's mark looked like, and though she'd been with Gila for so long, she had never seen hers. Never asked. Never wanted to bring it up more than it already was...

Because it pained her to. The reminder of it.

Wherever Gila's was, it wasn't somewhere visible, even when she was bare. Lily was never particularly looking for it anyway... all the ones she did happen to see among those in the territories they visited, she couldn't help but stare at. Because it was a reminder of what she was running from...

"And what makes you think that?" Gila asked. She seemed more skeptical than hopeful.

"Uhhh..." Rin hesitated as she looked at Sil. Lily knew immediately what made her hesitate.

She'd have to admit she got caught. That it could have been bad for them if Rafe hadn't let her go. There was a tense moment between the siblings.

"What?" Gila growled now. She already knew they were hiding something.

"Well... I uh, anyway, he was... err, and he said he'd see us soon." Rin said awkwardly, obviously leaving just about everything out.

"What happened?" Gila demanded harshly. Rin took a big breath.

"IgotcaughtI'msorrybutheletmegoandsaidhe'llseeussoon... and I lost the dart gun." Rin said.

"What the fuck Rin! You KNO-" Sil growled.

"-how hard it was for you to get, yeah yeah..." Rin said. Gila sent a furious look at Sil.

"You had it handled?" She growled. Lily had assumed she'd be more Alpha... but she was pure angry mother at that point.

"Can you focus on the fact that we may have found your mate? And if Lily hadn't stopped me I woulda shanked him and freed her anyway." Sil said. Gila took a hard breath, trying to calm herself.

"We don't kill pack wolves-" Gila began.

"I know, I know, we give them no reason to come after us. But this was different, obviously. They hurt her." Sil said, her tone uncharacteristically serious.

"We smelled her blood mom, we couldn't do nothing." Mia said. Gila looked at her again. Lily looked away, ashamed she put them in this situation. Gila sighed again and Lily felt her fingers on her as she lifted her chin up.

"This is not your fault. I should have seen the signs in you that you were repressing. It's why you can't return the call. Like the desert wolves, the winter wolves are very spiritual, very in tune with themselves and nature. You are trying to be someone you are not. I understand trying to distance yourself from your past, but you are also doing yourself no favors, you are not allowing yourself to heal and move on." Gila said. Lily studied her face with a frown.

"Your mother lovingly gave you a name. To the winter wolves, 'Ad Lo,' is a term of endearment. It roughly translates to 'my reason for breathing,'" Gila said. Lily felt tears come to her eyes. Gila gently brushed a hand back through her hair.

"Every moment of this life is precious, and you should never waste even a second of it thinking you aren't enough just as you are. I've told you, you have nothing to prove. You have a beautiful soul, one that has been wounded, but even that just emphasized the goodness in you.

Life is not fair sometimes, less fair for some than others. But if you want to be happy, to truly move forward, you must find it in yourself to be exactly who you are, and someday... when you feel comfortable enough, to reclaim the name your mother gave you." Gila said. Lily felt the hot tears trail down her cheeks.

Even with the strange numbness in her chest, she felt the pain of her words.

"Your gifted clearly made a mistake, many mistakes, he was blinded by his own journey. Don't get me wrong... if I ever meet him I will certainly give him a peace of my mind, but he was made for you. He is your other half. In every way. There is strength in forgiveness.

Even in the way you told your story, I can feel how much you doubt him and his intentions. He is not blameless, what he did to you caused your distrust in him. He started it by marking that female after meeting you. But it was your doubt that caused that bastard male's claim to take hold." Gila said with fury as she once again glanced to her neck. Lily bit her lip.

She felt the emotion continue to swell, despite herself.

How did Gila manage to make her rethink everything in just a few words? Lily hated how much she was suddenly seeing things different. All the things Tristan had said to her, how he was treating her now.

Maybe she just needed to hear it from someone she fully trusted.

...but what good did it do them now?

"Up, all of you... let's get moving." Gila said. Lily looked up at her with a furrowed brow.

"But-" Lily began.

"I've waited this long. I'm not about to stick around and put you all in danger. After I get this pup out and weaned, I'll come back on my own, but if the treaty is truly broken, I want you all away from here." Gila said firmly. She looked at Sil.

"Go tell that pack to flee before they get your sister's gifted killed." She growled. Sil sighed and stood up.

But a snapping of a branch had them all freeze. It sounded deliberate. And not that far off. Lily tensed and stood, pulling Imee closer protectively, even though she felt no sense of danger from her wolf.

They were all standing suddenly, hands on blades as they looked toward the sound.

A tense moment of silence followed.

"We already told them to leave." Rafe shouted from a small distance. Lily's eyes went wide as she shot a look at Gila.

...how had he found them so quickly? She knew how good they were at covering their tracks. All her sister's wide eyes were suddenly on Gila.

Her expression was shocked.

"May I approach without... as she so lovingly put it, being shanked?" Rafe shouted with amusement. They still couldn't see him. He was clearly staying hidden.

Lily's wide eyed turned back to Gila. How long had he been listening to them?

...how had they not noticed his presence?

She had never seen Gila look speechless. Finally her eyes snapped to Sil in an accusatory look.

"What? We covered our tracts!" Sil growled.

"They did, you taught them very well. I'm just that good." Rafe said with a strange mix of pride and even more amusement.

Gila suddenly looked irritated as she rubbed a hand on her forehead for a moment.

"You failed to mention he was an Alpha." She said as she looked at Sil and Lily again.

"Is that a deal breaker?" Rafe shouted.

"For the love of- Just get over here!" Gila growled. Lily didn't know what she expected, but she certainly didn't expect the speed of which he barreled in, nor that he would just grab her and kiss her... passionately.

Lily just stared at them, stunned. Mia slapped a hand over Inaya's eyes when it got a bit... more than it should have for public eyes.

"ERM," Sil loudly cleared her throat. Gila pulled away from him, but they continued to stare at each other, like there was no one else there. Lily felt suddenly... oddly emotional. Happy for them.

But then Gila slapped him, hard.

Lily went wide eyed, but before she could even think she was truly mad at him, she yanked him down and kissed him again. Lily looked at Sil with a questioning look.

...was that normal?

Sil shrugged with an odd look on her face. But when it went on too long again...

"MOM!" Sil growled. Gila finally pulled back with a heavy breath. Then she looked truly furious again.

"I waited... for twenty years!" Gila snarled. But Rafe just couldn't stop grinning.

"I'm sorry." He said, with genuine depth. "This was one of the only places I didn't look, I didn't expect to have a mate so bold she'd abandon her pack for me." He glanced to them all behind her.

"And create a small one of her own." He added with even more respect and pride. Love was there too as she glanced at each one of them. Lily looked at Gila. She looked like she wanted to bite him. Lily looked at Rafe again.

The way he was looking at her and her daughters, Lily realized her initial fears that Gila would experience the same she did... were completely unfounded.

He only had love in his eyes. Love, gratefulness and happiness. He pulled her in again and placed a large hand on her round belly as he leaned in and pressed another warm kiss to her mouth. Within seconds, they were back at it again. Lily felt immediately uncomfortable.

Like they shouldn't be there for this.

"Ugh, mom we are RIGHT. HERE." Mia said as she slapped a hand over Inaya's eyes again. Gila broke away with a growl.

"Then maybe you should be somewhere else for a while." Gila said.

"Or... maybe, you can take your horny ass out into the woods." Sil growled back, but Rafe was already carrying her away.

Lily just stared after them. Did that really just happen? Sil sighed deeply.

"Come on, let's pack up. I don't think we will be coming back here anytime soon." Sil said with a strange mix of emotions.

Lily knew what she meant. She assumed they would be following him home now.

No more wandering.

The picked up in relative silence. Lily kept glancing at the others, wondering how they felt, but they weren't revealing anything.

When finally they had everything mostly packed, Gila and Rafe still hadn't come back. Lily sat by the dying fire, holding Imee who had fallen asleep. Sil came to sit down beside her while Mia, Rin and Inaya lounged in the van.

They sat in silence for a moment, aside from the occasional cars that rattled behind them.

"So... aside from all the fucked up stuff... how was it?" Sil asked with a large grin. Lily furrowed her brow at her, at first, not understanding, but a shoe suddenly hit Sil in the back of the head.

"What is wrong with you!" Mia snarled.

"I can be curious!" Sil growled as she threw it back.

Lily couldn't help but laugh a little.

Oh how she missed this...