You lift my feet off the ground

you spin me around

you make me crazier, crazier

He pulls me closer as we slow dance. His grip on me is firm but gentle, like he knows what he is doing.

feels like I'm falling and I'm

lost in your eyes

you make me crazier, crazier, crazier

His beautiful black eyes have a certain sparkle and I can make out the faint hint of a smile playing on his lips.

"Nina?"

"mm-um"

" we should go have our dinner"

"okay"

We take our seats opposite each other and order the food. I know I'm blushing badly and I curse myself for that. What is wrong with me? I feel like a teenager. All the same I can't look at him, because just lifting my head would mean eye contact. He is practically devouring me with his stares. Well, now I'm seriously confused-

what is he thinking?

Is he thinking what I'm thinking?

**************

Dear diary,

It is a DejaVu. I just know it is. Everything that I felt about Alex is returning back to me. Back at high school I was desperate for him. I just wanted him at least as a friend. The day after his graduation I cried after school as I had missed my last chance to talk to him, listen to him speak. Even though we never spoke a conversation there was an unspoken bond between us. His eyes would always follow me. He would search me in crowds. When a friend of mine revealed to him that I had a crush on him, he smiled and said that he knew. That day he wanted to meet me but I never went because nobody ever told me until after the incident. Even after this he never ignored me. I was confused as he never tried to approach me again but then gave such attention that no other girl had ever had from him. Today at the age of 21 I'm confused again. I spent this entire week with him visiting various places. After that day at the cafeteria I thought he would never contact me but fortunately he did and so this week was special. There were many cherish-able moments. These 4 year gap was good for me in a way that it helped me in becoming stable in matters of the heart but it scares me to think what'll happen when he leaves? I'll be a desperate chick. I loved him unconditionally when I learnt for the first time that he was a playboy and I still do even though I don't know what kind of a person he has grown into.

Everything is just the same but I'd like to make a slight change-

i'm going to wait for him to tell me what i am dieing to listen as its clearly visible from his behavior towards me this past week that he does have some feelings for me and if he doesn't then I'm going to tell him before I regret it for the rest of life. I may have been afraid to do this back at high school but now I am a 21 year old independent women, I am not afraid of anyone. This is my final decision because I love you Alex

Love,

Nina