"Now let the wild rumpus start!" Max ordered. And the wild things roared their terrible roars and gnashed their terrible teeth and rolled their terrible eyes and showed their terrible claws."
― Maurice Sendak, Where The Wild Things Are  

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While I am still showering outside under the garden hose, thanks to May. Meanwhile, inside the House of the Blazing Raisins, an entirely different kind of fun time is being had by the resident Queen of Mean.

"So explain to me how this works exactly, Irish? Because I am having a very difficult time finding a reason not to march up to that school. Yank that little sheethead out by the neck. Then string him up like his racist daddy should have been in the bad old days." Aces walks into his kitchen and fetches a cold water bottle out of the refrigerator, to cool down the demon queen that he was tricked into marriage with all those many years ago.

"Rest assured that is already in the works as we speak." Irish smiles coldly. "Mahjong."

"Do I even want to know the details?" Aces cross his arms at this bit of prophecy. 

"Here, read for yourself." Irish presents with him with the angry orange slip. She trades over the detention slip as she regally accepts the proffered water. Aces takes out his ancient Raisin reading shades, and peers intently down at the precise penmanship.

"Inappropriate contact with another student ...kissing?" Aces swipes his reading shades off and returns them back in his cool sky killer guy pocket case, before glaring down the barrel of a loaded grandson.

"Oh, wipe that judgmental look off your face, Aces." Irish snorts pulling the can of soup from the cupboard. "The whole damn thing was about as lurid as a goodbye kiss at an old church Sunday social with chaperones. Sure you might get a scolding for being forward for appearance's sake? But it usually came with a wink at the end."

"I see." Aces absorbs this disinformation cautiously. "Regardless, Tim Grimm is going to go through the roof. I know I would in his place, with a daughter who is ...especially vulnerable."

"Yes, he probably will, until the truth of today comes out." Irish wholeheartedly agrees. "But it gets even better, so hold on to your horses' Aces. Because this next part of this sordid story is going to throw you for a loop. So guess who is the kisser and who was the kissie, that earned those two this detention?"

"Based on your tone, I'm guessing it was ...?" Aces pauses and knifes an eyebrow up. "No, not the girl?"

"Am I that obvious to you now, Aces?" Irish snorts sarcastically. "Used to be that I could slide one past you every now and again."

"Maybe before the heart attack, but the nitro pills have helped my clarity some." Aces retorts wryly. "Now why the hell does that not surprise me as much as it should?"

"Yes, well...surprise?" Irish drones dryly. "So it turns out that at the end of the pledge of allegiance, the girl grabs our idiot grandson and planted one right on his lips. Claims she wanted him to taste the lip gloss he bought for her. Not that he was complaining, mind you. Oh, and by the way Ace, you can blame yourself for this entire mess."

"Now hold on a minute, Irish. How is any of this nonsense my fault?" Aces counters evenly.

"Because the pilot light for the water heater went out again in the morning?" Irish complains as she explains. "So the boy couldn't shower for school. And with May Bells acute sense of smell, she could hardly tolerate his stench. So he gave her some sweet smelling lip gloss, so she could tolerate him until he could shower after his PE class." Irish muses wanly. "Quite considerate of him actually, when you think about it. Who knew he had it in him?"

"Cause he's a strange kid with a wyrd way about him? But he can be oddly decent, at off moments." Aces shrugs. "That aside, then what happened?"

"So May Belle puts the lip gloss on, and gave him a smack for a thank you." Irish smirks.

"Not that I can say I approve or disapprove of this sort of thing. But how does G.D.'s boy become involved?" Aces gets to right to the point of the exercise.

"Ah well, there in lies the crux of the matter. Seems that shortly after said kiss, Little GD enters the picture and gives them both detention." Irish smiles coldly in displeasure. "The girl reacts exuberantly ...I think would be the best way to describe her initial attitude? Instead of embarrassed, which is what I believe the little sheet was actually going for. Unfortunately this exuberance in turn sets off a series of unforseen events. Ending with the girl basically telling Little Greg to shove it where the sun don't shine."

"Good for her." Aces agrees.

"Agreed." Irish nods back contritely. "But the Little Sheet couldn't have that. So he made his point by clapping his hands right next to that poor child's head."

"At that point, your grandson decided that he'd had quite enough of this nonsense and stepped into the fray. Told Little Greg that if he was ever so foolish to make a slapping noise next to the girl's face again? Well, I think May Belle described it best when she said Darren growled something along the lines of ...'I will end you." Irish fails to surpress her smirk.  "Then he proceeded to loom over the little sheet in an intimidating manner that bespoke pending violence."

"I'll bet he did." Aces mugs almost proudly. "The boy is definitely a loomer."

"Well, he did have just cause." Irish renders her final judgment on the matter. "By the looks of it, Little Greg scared her half to death when the boy dragged her back here."

"Not to our house?" Aces bemoans.

"Yes Aces, to our house." Irish rolls her eyes. "I believe the original plan was to get on that infernal machine you let him keep in the garage. Then take her to go see her occupational therapist slash social worker. Who was somehow going to wave her magic wand and make this problem go away. I understand from Patrice that she is a very nice young lady from the Black Panther Party."

"Yes, I'm sure that would have gone over swimmingly with that little shithead." Aces shakes his head sarcastically. "I can only imagine how that would have flown over? Having a very nice Pantherine lady calling out the behavior into question."

"Ah, I see you too found the obvious flaw in that plan, as did I." Irish drolls. "To wit, if that little sheethead was anything like his daddy, he and his crowd would have dug in hard. And as usual, the children would be the ones made to suffer."

"They should have know better than that." Aces sagely agrees with that analysis.

"Honestly, I can't really blame them for not knowing any better. They don't teach hate in school like they used too, Aces." Irish shrugs off the thought. "And those two are too young to know about desegregation, and the civil rights fights we had thru the Three Valleys. Save what little they are taught in school on Martin Luther King day. Now as to how Little Greg snuck in up there, to become a substitute teacher is another fight for another day."

"Yes, how exactly did your Mahjong girls allow that sheet to sneak in there?"

"I asked Pat that exact same question at the beginning of the year? She told me that little GD crawled in as an assistant freshman football coach at the Hale Winter's insistence. Then as a last minute substitute, when Marcie Grant's baby had complications and stayed out on extended maternity leave."

"Apparently, he'd been decent enough until today." Irish snorts. "Never you fear, Pat is making a point to call Marcie and let her know she has a problem brewing. One that could cost her job for the year. If she doesn't approve of another substitute and has them up to speed with her classes when this goes wrong. And it will definitely be going wrong  ...if I have anything to say about it."

"And what pray tell, did your dear friend and admirer, Rupi, have to say about all this?" Aces eyes narrow ever so slightly.

"Not much." She shrugs. "Because he's right where I want him, stuck between a rock and a hard place. He's going to have to pick a side. Take his chances that Little Greg will carry the water on this thing? Or he's gonna have to step up and call dingo on the entire mess. Then ask me to go away very nicely, I might add."

"Which I trust you will not do?" Aces rolls his eyes up towards the Angel of Death, praying for a nice end to this life. 

"Well, that really depends on how nicely he asks, now doesn't it?" Irish smiles savagely. "Also what guarantees I can get, that this sort of nonsense ends here and now. Before Tim Grimm has to become involved, then this whole thing lands squarely right back on the boy ...and us."

"Irish, has it occurred to you yet, that this kiss may be the least of your problems?" Aces points out the obvious. "That if they're comfortable enough to be kissing in public? It won't take Tim Grimm too long to figure out that whatever is going on in private between them is surely the stuff of fatherhood nightmares?"

"Yes Aces, believe it or not, I am acutely aware of how the male mind thinks regarding his daughter." Irish retorts dryly. "And if Monet was half the mother to May Belle that she is to the younger Grimm girl? Then perhaps I could talk to her girl to girl, so she can talk Timmy down from the ledge. Before he jumps into the war he will never win. But we both know that's not going to be the case here."

"To quote your grandson, 'Big problemo, so that's a total no-go, old bro'." Irish smirks sharply. 

"Most def a big fat naw not, chica." Aces retorts back in imitation.

"Antways, so here's the catch 22, Aces." Irish lays out her battle plan. "We either help them live the lie, that we both know at some point will blow up in our faces. Or we toss them to the wolves to save our own skins. In the process most likely lose the last hope we have of having a decent relationship with our grandson. Because right or wrong, we will just be the next set of folks to put themselves before him and walk away on him in a crux."

"I'm old, what the hell do I care about what people say about me? The only thing in this world I really care about is you, Irish ...and sometimes the kids?" Aces shrugs and goes with the Raisin version of flock it why the hell not? 

"So you make your play, and I'll back it all the way down the line." Aces affirms his lot in life, with one final cavate to the contrary. "I just want us both to recognize that we are potentially sacrificing May Belle's innocence? Over what may ultimately turn out to be a very wrong reason. And if I was her father? I would be most unhappy about that sacrifice, Irish."

"Yes well, there is that, I suppose?" Irish rolls her head around slowly deciding whether to share her latest theory. "Then you'll be most interested to know, that after spending the morning observing those two? I am almost positive of several things. First and foremost, May Belle's lost innocence as you so deftly put it? Is no longer an issue for anyone to be concerned about, save her mother ...if she cares a whit."

"Please tell me that is not the case?" Aces groans.

"Typically male thinking, and as usual you're always underestimating the girl in the mix." Irish remarks dryly. "Mark my words Aces, whether you want to believe it or not? She's the one running that show out there, not the boy. And before you even think to say I am glossing anything over, because he is my grandson. I will tell you truthfully, that is not the case."

"Fact is, that I'm rather at odds with myself over this whole thing between them?" Irish muses unthoughtfully. "Half of me wants to praise her for being forward thinking, and taking matters into her own hands. Half of me is highly irritated with our grandson, as he follows her around like a pound dog trying to please his new master. Then there is part of me is horrified on some level. That all this has actually been occurring right under my nose this entire time."

"Explain that please." Aces frown deepens into a scowl. "Because I am having a really hard time seeing how that plays out well for anyone?"

"Well, it would seem that our little miss May Belle has become quite the firecracker in her own right. Right up against everyone else's preconceived notions of who she should be, no less. But in the end of all this, I have to be honest with myself. And admit that my preconceived notions about how that girl should behave, but does not? Are much more of my problems, than they are hers." Irish turns on Aces. "Oh yes, and another thing I learned today, is that those two have something else in common. Well, other than inordinately tragic lives."

"Pray tell." Aces is almost interested now.

"They've both been underestimated to extremes. Because unbeknownst to everyone they are both very, very smart children, and they speak the same language." Irish's eye narrow calculating out the odds. "It's very easy to miss the interplay at first, unless you are paying very close attention to all the underplays in the words they use. Because those two are talking about all manner of things, that none of us really want to know about. And yes Aces, that also includes the aforementioned illicit intimacies you alluded to earlier."

"And they are doing it right in the open, and no one is catching on. Because they are very, very slick about it. In May Belle's own words today, that this is all her fault that they "finally got caught". Seems that they have been running a very careful and cautious agenda around all of us for months." Irish turns and smirks. "Now has your grandson ever once impressed you as the careful and cautious sort?"

"Well, he does hide things well behind that goofy exterior. But I'd have to say that he does tend to come off as much more confrontational than cautious." Ace finishes dryly. "I wonder who's bad blood he gets that from..."

"Oh, and that flinty gunslinger thing you warned me about?" Irish takes the compliment as it was meant to be. "Yes, I got to see that full show today as well."

"I swear Aces, there was a second when I was standing in front of that infernal motorcycle, that he was actually weighing the odds of running me over? He was on the infernal machine with the girl and halfway back home...he just didn't know it yet." She seethes pleasantly at the memory.  "Oh, and another thing of note, he wasn't a bit relieved that I took over his show and marched them down to school. Only curious at what point I was going to fail? I truly believe the most emotional I've seen him since he's been with us, was riding back to school in my Jeep."

"Oh dear lord, those poor, poor children." Aces smirks. "How could you do that to them, Irish?"

"So we're agreed then? That we are going to help them live a lie?" Irish chooses to ignore the slight on her insane Nascar skill set. "Well, not a lie exactly? Rather a slightly more inventive version of the truth? One that will leave out several important key factors."

"Like the fact that when this finally blows up in your face, we may end up being great grandparents?" Aces points out dryly. "And then we will be relocating when that happens."

"Because while I will support you to the end Irish." Aces easily realizes he has no choice in the matter. "I would prefer not to live out my supposedly Golden Years in a town full of people who hate me. Especially for a reason that I have no decent defense for at all. Other than my wife told me to be still, and that everything was all gonna work out fine."

"I never said this was going to be easy, Aces ...only interesting." She counters wryly.

"May you live in interesting times." He shakes his head sadly. "Oh well, everything said and done, I suppose this is all for the best? As I recall, you did say you wanted a new hobby after all?"

"Speaking of interesting..." Irish ignores the subtle slight, "...you should take a gander out the kitchen window."

"Why? Are they kissing under the old oak tree now?" Aces winces in preparation for the worst.

"No, worse." She snorts in retort. "This you actually have to see to believe."

"Oh good lord, what now?" He sighs.

Aces pushes himself off the counter and rolls to the kitchen window. Where he stops and stares at one of the oddest things he's seen in a long time. A little blind girl sitting on the jeep hood spraying his wayward grandson with the garden hose, while the crazy kid is apparently showering in a pair of swimming trunks.

"That is very disturbing." Aces scowls out the kitchen window.

"So are you going to finally fix that water heater anytime soon, Aces? Or are we gonna be taking turns with the kids going under the hose outside?" Irish smirks back. "Cause I must admit, that does look rather tempting?"

"You wouldn't dare." Aces rears away from the window and eyes his wife of forever. "What the hell am I saying, of course you would. Your Iris Irish, and you do anything you damn well please and damn the consequences."

"You always say the sweetest things, Augustus." Irish bares her feral fangs back. 

"It will be fixed by tomorrow. Even if I have to drag the new water heater down the stairs by myself." Aces sighs dryly. "Anything else...dear Irish?"

"Yes, our grandson, the boy we now have living under our roof? I get the sense that he hasn't been a boy for a long time? And while he's not a man yet, he's not a child either. No, I think he's something different altogether. Something wild and skittish that I can't get a handle on yet, no matter how I've tried to approach him."

"As I've said on several occasions, he's a strange kid with a wyrd way about him. But I will say this he does have his oddly insightful moments, funny even at times. Not as funny as he thinks he is...but funny enough. For a kid who doesn't talk all that much, he sure has a sharp tongue on him when he gets that ol Irish ire going. Wonder where he gets that trait from?" Aces finishes dryly.

"Certainly not from my side." Irish eyes narrow, waiting for Aces to call her out on the obvious lie.

"Alright Irish, I'm going to tell you something that I probably should have said a long time ago." Aces crosses his arms defensively in preparation for the savage reaction. 

"Oh, pray tell." Irish eyes flash in amusement.

"When I was much younger, I was always partial to the wild things in the world, like wolves and such?" Aces starts off slowly. "They're very interesting creatures in their natural environment. But if you try to bring one home? You take your chances."

"I've always believed the same is true for some people as well." Aces smiles sadly over at the savage. "That when you bring a savage thing to civilization folk? You don't warn the savage to behave in a civilized manner. No, you a warn the civilized folk to behave themselves around the savage."

"Because that savage has the savage ways and savage skills, that civilized folk have long forgotten about. I suppose that in itself is part of the price to become civilized?" Aces muses at his own fate wryly. "But those savages still know how to do what needs to be done, the old way, with spilled blood and broken bones."

"That's a rather profound thing to say about your own flesh and blood, Aces." Irish irks sarcastically. "And it's relevance?"

"Correct you are, Irish. Which is why I never warn you of anything ...well until now that is?" Aces smiles. "Because I think you may have finally come across a creature that might even be more savage than you, my dear wife."

The deafening silence of the Raisins of Wrath stretches out, as they grinned sly smiles of mirth over their respective sides of the kitchen counter.

"Well now Augustus, aren't you just the clever cleaver. And speaking cleavers..." She dedtly picks up a large butcher knife off the drying rack. "...what's this big knife in the sink I see?"

"She said before cutting his pie she had so thoughtfully prepared in the ways of his civilized folk." She finishes dryly. "And by pie, she meant his clever cleaver tongue, that Mr. Man was so fond of wagging around a bit too freely."

"Oh, but I do like cherry pie." Aces smirks evenly back.

"Partial to the wild things in the world?" Irish snorts in the local custom, while cutting him a slice.

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