Grief. What is grief?

"Sorry for your loss".

Why are they all sorry? What part did they play in it?
Grief. Loss. Two words closely knitted. You grief the loss of something loved, something important, something you can't live without.

We didn't grief the loss of our childhood. Our childhood was important, we were loved and it was over too soon. We didn't grief it, or maybe we did. Not the identical clothes and shoes or sharing a room but the bedtime stories, the little giggles late into the night and the careless hugs.

We had all gotten a single car for our sweet sixteen but it was okay, sharing was something we were good at. We took turns driving but Daisy drove us around the most, she liked the way boys stared at stoplights and how loudly we squealed when she drove way above the speed limit.

The car was hers more than anyone else's and now it's gone, too soon, just like our childhood, like her.

     Vibrant blue, positive energy and a winning smile, that is Antoniette Campbell. Anto watch me approach her car with a gentle smile that I can see her struggling to maintain. Dahlia is at the front seat, ghoulish eyes fixed on her phone. We had spent the rest of the weekend after our sister was laid to earth separately, grieving.

"You okay?" Anto turn to ask as soon as I get in the backseat of her blue Camaro. I appreciate her asking even though we all know that I am not, none of us are. So I smile and lie as I plan to do all day.

"I'm okay, just dreading school, nothing new". I try to lighten the mood and she humors me, smiling a little.

"It will be fine. We just have to stick together, no matter what. Okay?"

I nod because it is what we do. We always find our way back to each other, my sisters and I. And Anto. We were a quad.

"Okay?" She repeat to Dahlia who just sigh deeply.

"Just drive".

        Clayview High school has a popularity scale like most highschools with the jocks and cheerleaders dunking it out at the top of the scale.

Our small town didn't have any twins in record, ever. So when my sisters and I were born, it was a big deal. People liked to see us, not because we gave them good luck as our mother always insisted but because in our mundane town of backyard barbecues and church meetings, we were unusual, abnormal, freaky.

Then Mrs. Griffin had her conjoined twins and we weren't that interesting anymore, even though they died after five years. Everyone knew us but only about one of us, Daisy.

Daisy loved attention, she was going to check every cliché that highschool has to offer then move on to Hollywood, marry four men, divorce them all and win an Oscar for some reason. She was the wild one, she got all the attention. The only attention I got was at swim meets and creative writing.

I didn't turn every head in the hallway but that is exactly what happens when we walk into school.

Dahlia suddenly disappear and Anto hurry to her locker, leaving me to find my way to mine, pretending not to feel the stares.

       Some things just cannot be ignored, like the dozens of cards and daisies by Daisy's locker which is right beside mine. There is a picture of her glued to the locker, her red hair in beautiful French braids. There are a few half burnt candles too and lipstick marks that must have been left by the cheerleaders during the memorial the school held on the night before the funeral.

My mom had been too shaken to let Dahlia and I go and I'm not sure of I had wanted to.

"I will try to get them packed away". Apollo's voice causes me to feel something besides the cold emptiness. I turn to face him just as he takes his eyes off the altar my sister's locker has been made into.

He isn't alone. Jared Glenn is with him and he is giving me that centered look of his too.

"No. It's just_ new". He reach out and caress my arm, warming my insides with his cold touch. He hadn't heard about the accident until the night of the memorial, bombarding me with calls and texts that eventually forced me to call him back. He knew I had been lying when I said I was okay. It's why he held me all night even as I couldn't form any tears.

"I know". He mutter in the noisy hallway.

Jared step forward and wordlessly wrap his hands around me. He is as tall as Apollo but lanky and when he squeezes me a little, I prefer it to all the words of condolence I have been offered in the space of 24hours.

He lets go of me gently and take a step back.
"See you guys at lunch". We both nod and he takes off down the hall.

Apollo takes my hand and together we walk to homeroom, ignoring the stares.

"Text me if you need to leave". He instruct as we stop by my desk and I smile but he doesn't return it, instead he kiss my forehead before going over to his own desk.

    Everything echoes. The lectures, the whispers, the bells and shuffling as I move from one class to another, only noticing empty seats. One in History, another in geometry, one in biology and two at lunch.

Apollo stayed beside me for the few classes we had together, even now he is seated next to me at our quiet lunch table, watching me as I watch the empty space that used to be Daisy's and the one beside it that Todd would've occupied for the second half of lunch break but he's been MIA, I didn't even see him at the funeral.

I can see them there besides each other, if Clayview High was a kingdom then those empty seats were its throne, once graced by the quarterback and the head cheerleader, Todd Weatherman and his perfect girlfriend, Daisy Winter.

A chair scrapes against the floor as Dahlia gets out of her seat and walks out of the cafeteria, garnering open stares, sending some to our table as well. She walks stiffly, with the confidence of our mother, a confidence not fuelled by fine clothing or jewelry. It is the confidence of someone fearless, someone who doesn't care about general opinion.

It's a lot. I can't deny that fact but I also know that I can't walk away from it. I can't break down everytime I walk by her locker, I can't burst into tears when the announcer calls for a moment of silence in her honor. I can't flee the room everytime someone says her name. I can't but I really want to.

"I will check on her". Anto announce before leaving the table as well, taking her apple with her.

I stare at my tiny bowl of fries until Apollo take my hand in his and squeeze.

"Do you want to leave?" He ask gently and I shake my head.

"No. I have to get used to it eventually".

But grief isn't something you get used to. Everyday it finds a way to taunt you, unearthing memories you never knew you had, replaying them in snail-like motion to the point where you feel like screaming but can't find your voice.

     Monday melts into Tuesday. Different clothes, different shoes, same faces, same whispers, same bells, only this time there are three empty spots at our lunch table, until someone takes Daisy's.

I look up at the perfect face of Chelsea Akin, Clayview's angel. She shouldn't be here, not just because Jared is but because Daisy isn't.

"Hi guys". She smile innocently but no one else is. Anto stares at her in apprehension, Apollo with an annoyed frown and Jared, with the mask of indifference he has mastered around her over time.

"So many empty spots". She look to both her sides before returning to us with that sweet smile.

"Rose". She place her soft palm over my hand. "Will you accept my condolence? Daisy brought fire to all our lives, we can all see what a cemetery  this place has become without her".

"Chelsea". Apollo warn and she turn to him with a daring glare.

"What? Timon". Chelsea and I had long since moved past the veil of friendship but we were friendly, because of Daisy. They used to call themselves friends.

"Just go". Jared's voice is calm and he barely looks at her but she stare at him for a while, her pretty smile flattering.

"Take care of yourself okay?" She pay my hand twice before leaving.

"Jesus. Why are people so terrible?" Anto wonder out loud while my eyes stay on Chelsea, watching her sashay her lithe body to the table with the highest number of football players. She plops onto the thighs of Gabe Finley, co-captain of the football team.

"I can't believe anyone would want to date her". Anto continue, spinning her apple on the table.

"I can't believe you dated her". She spare Jared a disbelieving glance but he just shrugs as he usually does.

"She was a different person then". He murmur.

I sigh and pick up a fry, placing it in Apollo's almost empty plate.

"Cut her some slack, Anto. It's what Daisy would have done".

🌹🌹🌹

A lot of character intro in one tiny chapter. I know.
The only way to go now is up, I guess.

Don't be shy with your feedback x