tw: self harm

Dear Yumi,

Things went down hill after that. 

My mother died.

We got into a car accident together and I was the one who survived. I didn't deserve to survive. I wished I hadn't survived.

I loved her so much and I never got to tell him that.

My brain was in shambles. I blamed myself for everything. 

I couldn't think properly and I-

I'm sorry Yumi.

I know you told me no apologies but I'm sorry for hurting myself.

I couldn't handle any more pain. I just wanted everything to stop so I cut my wrists, hands shaking, tears blurring my vision. I still remember the soft clink of the knife when I dropped it, my brain going numb.

I lost a lot of blood and I passed out. I wished I hadn't done what I did as soon as I saw your tear-streaked face sleeping next to my hospital bed.

You looked so disheveled and tired. You were so worried about me. I'm sorry for doing that to you Yumi.

And thank you for saving me.

a/n: sad chapter, yeah :( 

I just felt like it had to be there. This is written from my own experience and if there's anyone going through something similar, please don't hesitate to talk to me. I promise i'll listen.

did you like this?

thanks for reading, I love youu.