Third Person’s P.O.V.

“Could you maybe come home for awhile? There’s nothing in the fridge”
Jungkook played with the hem of his shirt as he sat with his legs splayed apart on the couch and spoke into the phone.

“..I’m hungry and no one’s around” he grumbled into the device, lips pursing up to form the tiniest pout before the phone beeped off “..and...I miss you”.

He spoke to himself as he stared at the screen, a picture of Jin and himself at a restaurant they had once gone for lunch. 

Since the moment he had woken up in the hospital bed he had wanted to talk to him, of course he missed Jin but there were also things he needed to clear with the other, stuff he felt needed an apology.

“Was it not enough that you made me a coward who hides his heart from you?” His thumb unmindfully caressed the other’s smile “now I owe you my life Jin”.

Half an hour and Jungkook heard the front door open and shut as Jin’s steps echoed through the wooden floorboards.

A smile carved itself on Jungkook’s lips the moment he saw the other put the stuff down and head closer to him. “You’re such a cry-baby Kook” Jin chuckled as he walked to him and plopped on the couch “what do you want to eat?”

And Jungkook felt a warmth surround him, just like the one he had felt the first time Jin had asked him the same question, it made him feel cared for, made him feel loved.

So what if he couldn’t have it all, at least he had this.

Yes, he couldn’t show the world how much he wanted the person in front of him, he couldn’t pull him close to himself and love him the way he wanted to.

He knew he’d forever feel the same anyway. It’s not about going away or moving on, he loved Jin and that was all. As nimble and as terrifying as that, he loved him and he knew Jin loved him too, just not in the same way he’d want him to.

It hurt like hell to accept this but at least this was his very own, not just the pain but this realisation that he had a heart to give. How many can even muster this strength? How many would dare to let themselves feel rather than being sad blocks of hopelessness?

At least no one can take this away, this pain and this sense of care was all his.

“I’ve missed you...y-your cooking, so anything” he gulped and scratched behind his ear “I’d love anything you cook for me”.

And that little smile on Jin’s face was what he had missed so much, that twinkle in his eyes too and the way his lips would get pouty every time he called him that cute nick name. 

“How have you been?” “Quite well I’d say, walking is still a bit difficult coz the worst one is the gut wound, my ribs are still hurt but getting better. So fifty-fifty I guess” he spoke checking the pain in his ribs and winced as he realized that he had pressed a little too hard.

He turned to Jin and simply stared a moment.

“Thank you” still debating in his head whether he should say it or not as he bit into his lip “for saving me.” Jin’s eyes flickered, instantly anxious and Jungkook knew he had to talk it out.

“It feels weird getting thanked for taking a life” Jin half grimaced, half shuddered and looked down.

The last few days had been so hectic that he barely found time even to confront to himself of what had actually happened that day and how he had shot someone dead, and not just someone but the very man who had been topping the criminal records for more than a decade.

He still remembers the look in Kai’s sienna eyes, shock, pain, anger but the most prominent was that fear.

He picked his head up and found himself staring at those same eyes, sienna and sharp as always. Jin jerked away before he could calm his heart down and saw the same gaze turn concerned, care and confusion pooling in Jungkook’s eyes.

“He deserved it. You didn’t do anything wrong Jin” he leaned closer to help the other calm down and held his hands to stop him from hyperventilating.

“When they call me in for the witness interrogation” Jungkook tried to ease back into the topic again, he needed Jin to understand this “I’m going to tell them it was me who shot him, in an act of self defence” he waited for the other’s response.

Jin’s eyes widened “w-what? No! Are you crazy Kook?! You can’t take that on yourself!” He fussed feeling literally scared even at the suggestion and felt Jungkook’s grip tighten.

“I always wanted to be the one to kill him anyway” Jungkook’s face hardened as dark memories cramped his mind “you saved my life Jin, I owe it to you”.

“You owe me nothing Kook” he pulled the other close wrapping his arms about him “don’t say that”.

Jungkook froze at the gesture as he wrapped unsure hands around Jin, his fuzzy brain pushing him to nuzzle into the familiar crook of his neck. It’s been so long since Jin had hugged him like this, and beneath all the soft glow of affection he felt a gnawing regret as he remembered the way he had kissed Jin back at the crusty cell.

He had been meaning to apologize.

Sure Jin avoided talking about it, while Jungkook told himself that he hadn’t planned it to happen like that, rather it was a sudden reckless craze and adrenaline which had led him to act like that.

Except the truth was he knew what he was doing, and although unplanned he had done it with full intention, it was so wrong but somehow he couldn’t say that he had not felt his mind give in to that soft feel of Jin’s lips against his and wanted more.

Would he do that ever again? Probably not. He did regret it, but that rising thump in his heart told him over and again how much he craved to be more than just a friend to Jin.

And he let his hands pull the other closer.

How do you stop yourself when being stupid for that one person seems only natural? How do you teach the heart to not slip into dangerous waters when it feels so good to give in and lose yourself?

Jungkook couldn’t take his eyes off Jin as he watched him shuffle about the kitchen while he cooked, enjoyed the light chatter they had way too much as they ate and would have kept basking in this utter joy of being with Jin if the other didn’t plan to leave soon.

“I heard Taehyung’s awake” “Yeah, I’m gonna go and check on him, you’re gonna be ok here?” Jin’s hasty steps to leave put an obnoxious itch in Jungkook’s mind.

“Will you be back in the night?” “Let’s see, I don’t want to leave him alone. I’m just gonna take a quick shower” Jin packed some lunchboxes and scurried upstairs before the other could muster up his voice to apologize.

“Jin..I.” still debating about how to apologize and feeling dead scared, Jungkook’s anxious eyes followed Jin moving away.

Bracing himself this time he followed behind him, the door to Jin’s room was cracked open halfway and Jungkook stepped inside. However, instantly cursed himself for doing so.

Jin’s bare back was turned to him as the other was busy in rummaging through his closet, gathering a few fresh change of clothes.

Jungkook stood there gaping at those full shoulders thinning down to that lean waist where his denims sat hugging his perfect swell and curve. He felt heat course through him as his heart boomed in his ears and feeling guilty for his body’s reaction peeled his gaze away to stare at the door before being tempted to look again.

He had always known that Jin was gorgeous, imagined through days and nights how good it’d feel to make him his.

He took an unmindful step into the room as his head swamped with desire, and another as his eyes bore into the others’ nape calling onto him to press his mouth to taste. His hand edged nearer in its own volition as he got closer still but just then Jin turned about and jerked with a short yelp to see him there.

“Ahh! God you scared me Kook!” He giggled placing a hand over his heart but his face went blank and laughter faded when he caught the look in the other’s intense eyes gliding down his chest and suddenly became conscious that he was practically half naked.

“D-Did you need any-anythi-" he stunned and his breath hitched as he felt Jungkook caress his cheek with the back of his hand, the softest sigh slipping out of his lips  and Jin knew he would be lying if he said he didn’t see the desire in those longing doe eyes.

He gulped standing stupefied at this sudden unforeseen gesture but before he could confront the other he saw Jungkook’s gaze snap and turn terrified as he pulled his hand back instantly.

A moment of awkward anxiousness filled the room as they looked at each other with wide eyes.

“S-Sorry” and with that Jungkook bolted out of the room as fast as he could manage while Jin remained startled at the abrupt reaction. He couldn’t move, going over in his head about what had just happened when an odd rumble took hold of his head and heart.

Seokjin had just stumbled upon the very truth Jungkook had forever been trying to keep from him.

“Step lightly, are you really sure you can walk?” Jin huffed anxiously trying to help Taehyung off the hospital bed “wait, lemme get a wheel chair, it’ll be better”.

But before he could bolt Taehyung caught his wrist “Jin please calm down, I’m fine and no way am I wheeling down that hall. I might not be a soldier anymore but still got an image to hold ya’know”. He smiled trying to ease the others’ nerves “I’m almost healed, don’t worry too much”.

A few steps out of the room n down the hall and Taehyung was feeling a lot better already. He had been detained there for almost another week since he had woken up and was finally deemed healthy enough to leave that godforsaken cabin.

“You okay?” He watched Jin hold him so carefully, and felt overpowered with bliss as he wrapped an arm around his shoulders to squeeze the other to himself “never better”.

He’s been running blind through decades of darkness, tossed and trampled as he struggled to survive hoping to find his way back to the person to whom he’d shed all his burdens and breathe again.

He pushed his face into the soft brown fringes, pecking Jin’s forehead and pressed his eyes close at the lulling glee that filled him entirely.

For the first time in forever he was going home.

Through lunch, and all through the afternoon Jin’s careful gaze stayed on Taehyung as they sat around the couch or conversed, flickering at times to Jungkook who obstinately avoided meeting his eyes. But his mind was completely taken as things got burdensome when Namjoon put forth the issue of the trial and about Taehyung being deported to a correctional center at the end of the month. Jin held his hand in his as tight as he could without hurting him, and the other gave him a half smile pulling him closer still.

It was only nine days till the month ended...nine days for the trial to begin...nine days that Taehyung would be here in his apartment living with him.

“Seriously?” Jin asked confused when Hoseok whipped out an ankle monitor and placed it on Taehyung’s leg.

“Orders, at least they are letting him free for the next few days” he shrugged as he took his seat on the couch again “would you rather have him hauled to prison right away?”

Jin paled terribly at the words and Jungkook spoke up suddenly, trying to lighten the situation as he spoke about how he had dreamt about gorging on spicy ramen and shoju while the doctors starved him keeping him only on drips, forcibly laughing his way through the gloom that looked around them and Hoseok taking the hint shared his experience as well, desperately trying to scrape all the laughter he could.

Taehyung gulped the knot in his throat feeling Jin’s palm sweat in his and held on tighter, not daring to look at him because no matter how much he told himself to hold his hopes high it scared him.

He had no idea if he’d be able to come back to Jin ever again.

It could be a life sentence, or worse if he is declared guilty.

When evening drew in and the rest of them took off leaving the apartment way too empty Taehyung decided he had to talk to Jin, at least to help him break through this silent objection.

“Hey” he nudged the other only to receive a tight-lipped smile in return before Jin excused himself to go to the kitchen to prepare dinner and Taehyung followed him. Jin made himself busy shuffling things around the place although he could feel Taehyung’s eyes on himself.

“Don’t do this please. I know it’s bad...somehow I always end up ruining it for us” he walked closer as his voice echoed through the kitchen, suddenly the entire space felt way too hollow.

“Stop moving around-go sit-“ “Jin” Taehyung grabbed his shoulders and he could see the fear and hurt the other was hiding in those brown orbs and braved to speak “I’m here. With you. Alive. Happy. At least for now.”

Jin’s eyes watered and he tore his gaze away desperate not to cry again.

“Let us have this, if this is all we can get...I’m here now” Taehyung cupped his face turning him to look into his eyes making Jin’s heart clench harder.

“We’ll think about the details later” Taehyung pulled the others’ head closer while Jin adamantly kept his eyes elsewhere, lines of tears running down his eyes without warning “I know I don’t deserve any more chances but please give me this time to be with you, don’t pull yourself away”.

And Jin eventually broke down as sobs shook him when Taehyung wrapped his arms around him, he clung to him grasping at the back of his shirt and buried his head into his neck.

“I’m sorry” Taehyung whispered with a sad sigh as he felt his eyes water as well “I took away so much from you and couldn’t even give you myself. I want to, I really do”. He felt Jin’s arms pull him closer as they stood in the middle of the kitchen.

“Why’re we s-such a mess?” Jin sniffled “why can’t things ever go well for us?!”

Taehyung didn’t have an answer to it either, so he pulled back to tilt Jin’s head up and gently pressed their lips together as he felt the other’s quivering lips against his.

“You know how much I love you right?” He whispered over Jin’s lips and softly pressed his lips again “will you let me love you the way I want to before we run out of time?”

And in answer Jin simply wrapped his arms around Taehyung’s neck and pressed his mouth on his, kissing him as boundless affection poured forth which he had been trying to cage in his heart all this time, the fondness and need building a monumental desire to hold the other to himself forevermore.

Hoping....wishing he could keep him imprisoned right here in his arms, just like this and forget everything else.

They broke the kiss to grab a breath and Jin could see the moisture in Taehyung’s lashes as well, that enchanting dark gaze looking at him with the adoration he had so terribly missed.

Every touch Taehyung had left on him was an eternity of emotion in itself then why can’t the moments of love they'd share in these few days  be his ever-after?

“Make me yours again”  Jin whispered before leaning in and Taehyung pulled him to himself, arm snaking around his waist as he claimed Jin's mouth, needing to fulfill the wish the other had just made.

Maybe he’d live his days being content with the handful of dreams they could make true, and leave the rest for another lifetime. 

á na márië

[A/N] I was listening to 'Sweet Night' on a loop while writing this...I'm so damn emotional right now💜

Hope you are all safe and healthy!