Taehyung's P. O. V.

This is it ...

I might never get to see him again...

The price I must pay to keep him safe.

"No" his words struck my weary heart "I'm not running". He crossed his arms over his chest with a frown "whatever it is you're trying to do I'm not becoming an aid to it". His eyes are fiery right now "I'm not listening to anything unless you explain yourself".

"There's nothing to explain, listen to me if you don't want your days to get cut short!"

Explain? What do I explain to you? How do I explain that I had sold my soul to a demon because I do not have the strength to bear anymore pain of loss? How do I tell you that I'm practically a dog in the hands of Axel right now? How do I explain that I agreed to side with monsters because I believe that I had always been one? 

"Well, bite me!" He said unlocking the door of the car "You do your thing, and I will do mine! Don't think even for a single minute that I'm gonna take orders from you, asshole!" The door shut with a bang and I watched him tramp his way into the building.

You need to stay away from me Seokjin. I'm a harbinger of death and pain, and if I have the power I'd keep you as far away as possible.

I put the car in reverse to make it out to the road, and my mind raced to bring back the time I had made the deal with Axel. But in my favor, I saw no other way at the time.

Would it be easier to just let him know?

Hoseok had received a mail that night after we had finished our discussion while Seokjin was still asleep on the couch, the mail had put fear in us instantly. It was untraceable but the message made it loud and clear who the sender had been.

Taehyungah, are you stupid enough to think you can hide? You wouldn't like it if tell Jin-Young to put bullets in the colonels heads, would you? You remember how good his aim is right? You're gonna miss them if I do that won't you kiddo? You see I don't want to do that either, but I need that code. Or I swear I'm gonna make sure all of your dear buddies have the most exquisite exits from their lives.

Oh! I almost forgot, Jin-Young tells me you've got yourself a pretty plaything. I'd love to pay him a visit soon, take care of him until then will you?

Tremors had gripped vehemently onto me as I paced around not knowing what to do, and finally left before dawn could touch the sky.

My agitated brain led me ultimately to get dragged into a gaudy penthouse to meet my doom. I didn't have a plan, absolutely no clue as to what I would do or say when I face them. Only one thing played over and over in my head, no more shall I risk the people I care about, no more pain for the ones I hold dear, no more, please. I need to stop them because I cannot bear this anymore, and I realized I'd do just about anything for them to stop with this.

My phone chimed suddenly pulling me away from my thoughts and I put it on speaker "get back here, you got work to do kiddo" I absolutely hate it when she calls me that"I'm only a couple minutes away" I reply and the call ends instantly.

The elevator dinged to open at the penthouse and I  was a bit startled to see Sunmi standing there with her hands crossed over her chest giving me a knowing look, "you're unreasonably possessive of that boy" my fists clench in worry, has she been keeping an eye on me?

"What do you mean?" I voice walking past her and hear her heels tick-tocking behind me. "You still scared about me paying him a visit?" I halt at those words, don't you dare.  She walks ahead of me "stop being rude to me or I just might" she says making her way inside the large condo.

This is why I need to keep Seokjin away, very far away.

In my desperation to ensure their safety I had revealed to Axel exactly what would hurt and scare me in the worst possible way.

I was mortified to see Namjoon plead for my blatant disrespect to the officials and to the public on media, cursed myself endlessly when he gave up on his badge and honor but assured myself that I had done what I needed to do to ensure their safety.

I didn't have the code that Axel wanted from me, and therefore had to abide by their command to pledge my loyalty to become their dog on a leash.

"Ahh, there's my boy" the lord of this hellhole spoke up as I followed in behind Sunmi, "Byun I hope you don't mind me calling him that" my eyes momentarily flitted to the silver-haired man who was busy inspecting a large canvas on the floor which looked something like a map.

"You can call him anything Kai, don't bother me" he spoke as dryly as possible, I can never see him as my father but it feels crippling to know that I am standing within metres of the man who killed my mother and yet I'm powerless to make him suffer the way I want to.

"I got somewhere to go and you're coming with me" my eyes turned away to look at the man on the couch, it was gross  to watch Sunmi go ahead to sit on his lap to chug down the drink he had been sipping at and began nibbling at his neck and jaw.

"Pack your guns kid" he says rubbing his hand on the lady's backside and I shifted my gaze feeling awkward watching such stuff.

"It's gonna be a fun night" he says as he shoves Sunmi down from his lap to stand up and straighten his bronze tinted silk blazer with gold works on it. "Let's see if I can push you to reveal that adamant rage". And I knew that grin was an ugly foreboding to the vicious game he has been playing with me.

I drove the Lamborghini Veneno inside a rich complex where a bundle of multilevel buildings rose to reach for the sky. "You will be my personal bodyguard for tonight" his words reached my ears as I saw a horde of smartly suited dirtbags gather at the entrance to the main building and it wasn't that hard to assume why Kai had come here.

He's here to play, albeit a dangerous game.

"Tonight will be a test for you, because you see I'm not good to people whom I cannot trust" I held the door open for him and he rose up to direct those malicious eyes at me "I kept my end of the bargain kid, it's time you keep yours". His hand patted at my shoulder before he strode towards the men who instantly bowed reverently at him.

We were welcome with fulsome gratitude and it felt awkward to see people grovel at his feet for the tiniest bit of attention, his minutest frown put dread in people and the little nod and smirk on his part brought utmost elation to the people sheepishly keeping their distance from the man.

What stunned me was that they treated me with the same dread and pleadings, and what made it worse was that I was not allowed to tell them to stop even though I desperately wanted to.

This is who I am now, a dreaded monster whom people need to fear.

"All of this okay Mr. Z, but I still haven't received the shipment of the warheads I was promised weeks ago."

I stood stiffly by the door, I'm still not sure what test Kai was talking about, probably more death and taking more blame. Who cares, these maggots deserve to die anyway. I watched the blond man fidget and fumble to answer the riled up titan pacing through the locked room.

"Give me a bit more time Sir, they'll be delivered to you within this week Sir, I'll make sure of that." A derisive laugh echoed through the room and something felt oddly off "This is amusing" the dark haired man suddenly halted and stood face to face with the feeble Mr. Z "Are you trying to play with me??"

The blond seemed dead in the eyes the moment Kai had said those words, and the next thing I know is that man trying to reach for something beneath his table.

A slight shift in Kai's burnt sienna eyes and I realized what I had to do.

"Urghh" the blond man stumbled back to hit the wall clutching his bleeding shoulder and I stood still stiffly aiming the gun at him, ready to fire a second time if I was told to do so.

"You see this can be easy or really long and really painful" Kai said edging closer to the man, who in his terror tried to squeeze himself further into the wall. "Tell me Mr. Z, who did you sell those warheads to?" He picked up a triangular paperweight from the table and I watched the crystal glitter as he juggled it playfully. 

My eyes left the man and came to focus on the gun in my hand, a thin film of smoke quickly dissipated into the air and my gaze went straight to focus on the back of Kai's head.

I can shoot him. There's no one here to save him, I could kill him with just one bullet. Will it all end if I kill him? Can it all end with just one bullet? I tightened my fingers on the grip since suddenly it felt sweaty, and tried to calm my anxiety.

Sunmi will make sure to kill them in the most gruesome ways. But if I kill him here it could save a million more lives, right?  I could hear my heart thumping in my ears as the anxiety rose further. My mind raced to bring up the one bright life I am terribly weak to, and as disgraceful as it is I know I'd rather save him than a million more lives.

I hesitantly lowered the gun knowing that I wouldn't dare to do anything that would put Seokjin at risk. Is this the trust he is trying to build in our deal? Ensuring my loyalty? Is this how I keep my end of the bargain?

"I don't know what you're talking about, I told you it'll be delivered to you soon" his frightened eyes focused on the dark-haired man who was murderously glaring at him.

Another swish of Kai's irate pupils and I rushed towards the wounded man to force him down over the spread of paperwork on his table, "we had a good thing going Mr. Z and I really didn't want it to end like this" he said as I struggled to keep the man pinned on the table.

"Have you ever seen how they make peach jam kid?" I was utterly confused with the question and I bet that showed on my face. "Have you seen how they crush the peaches to pulp?" I was starting to understand what he was trying to say when he handed me the prism-like weight and disgust rose within my veins.

He is asking me to torture this man, so this is the test he was talking about?

The man stared at me like a deer in headlights and I stared back equally shocked by the whole situation. Yes, I have been trained to be adept at shooting and self-defense but I was never taught how to be cruel.

"Just like a peach" Kai smiled at me pushing his hands into his pockets, his eyes blatantly ordering me to get on with bashing the man's head in. Hesitation gripped me and my tensed gaze watched the man pleading with his eyes.

#Warning: Violence  and angst ahead

He's a maggot Taehyung, just like the rest of these assholes. I told myself and slowly raised my hand to deliver the blow. All vile criminals! My hand came down and a piercing wail filled the room. Murderers!  My hand came down a second time pulling out more loud wails to echo throughout the closed room. You should know what pain feels like! All I could see was red, all my pent up anger fumed and burst out as I kept hitting him.

"V!!" I felt a hand grab at my chin as Kai pushed my head up to look at him "we need him alive, not dead". I suddenly realized I had lost control of myself and stepped back to see in horror how utterly I had battered him and how bloody the blond man looked, his paperwork splattered with fresh blood.

Kai leaned closer to the groaning half-dead man "where are my warheads?" The man groaned and shuffled heading closer to unconsciousness "I can tell him to resume with the hitting, you want that?"

"You did good today kid" Kai said contently leaning back against the headrest, and I felt as if his voice shook me awake from a trance. We were back in the car heading to his penthouse. He had acquired what he sought and I was immensely relieved to know that I wouldn't have to hit the man anymore.

"You should have cleaned your hands, you are ruining my car" he complained and I realized there were stains of dried blood on my hands.

A sudden flash of the night I had spent in a car with Hyuk's blood drying on my hands clouded my vision and I lost control.

The tires skid as I vehemently tried to regain control but my ears rang with Hyuk's voice, I hit the breaks with all my might and thankfully the car didn't turn. We froze midway on the highway in a bizarre angle.

"The hell!! You trying to kill me?!" I gasped for breath as I felt myself hyperventilating and felt his glare on me.

"Get out" he pulled my hands away from the steering and angrily gestured me to get out of the car.  In the next moment he pulled open my side of the door and dragged me out to sit himself in my place instead. I hunched over as my chest hurt and stomach retched, and I threw up by the side of the road.

"Deal with your shit and be back at the penthouse in the morning."

It was 1 in the morning and I was left on the highway with blood stained hands and clothes, my mind a murky pool of angst. Painful memories flared up to rake my nerves in shudders, I pulled myself up when my breathing settled down a little and walked in the buzzing silence.

Pale white lights waltzed along as I picked up my pace and broke into a mindless run, my baffled head howling at the darkness following ever so closely.

I swear I didn't want to! I am not a monster!

Felt my vision get blurred with tears and my cheeks get moist but my legs didn't stop, and within a few more minutes I realized where my bleary brain and pained senses were taking me.

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