Sap (Degal_Heartfang)


Name: Sap

SAPPY :D Yayyyyy! AHEM I mean nice name, Sap is definitely original! 

Name Reason: It was his grandfather's name

Awww, that's sweet that he's named in honour of his grandfather!

Age: 10

Gender: Male

Gasp a male wings of fire oc! 

Sexuality: Pansexual (likes girls a bit more though)

Nothing wrong with that! 

Tribe: HiveWingTime Period/Era: At least a few hundred years after the first WoF book

Alright now I'm a little confused. You say this is a few hundred years after the first wings of fire book, I'm gonna assume you mean The Dragonet Prophecy, and when you say few I'm gonna say you mean three hundred years roughly after. That's WAYYYYYY after the time of Queen Wasp, Pantala would probably be very different and if Blue succeeded in explosing Queen Wasp's lies she would probably be viewed like Darkstalker was, nothing more then a bad dragon who died a long time ago. Now admittedly that sounds like a cool story, but it makes no sense with his history since chronologically the first book and the eleventh book are maybe only two years apart. 

Occupation: Inventor for a SeaWing named Trickle.

Ooooo an inventor, I could see it with his electrical powers. 

Looks: A brightly yellow scaled HiveWing with black found on his horns, top of his head, top of his snout, nose, spikes, tail, and talons. He isn't thick or skinny, or pure ugly or even a handsome young dragon. Most call him average, but he does tend to be kind of cute to some. Sap has bright green eyes, and wider horns then most that act like lighting rods and conductors for his electricity. Has bandaged talons from his burnt palms.

I can picture him perfectly, good job! But I think you forgot the black jagged stripes under his eyes that you've always decided him with! 

Personality: Sap is quiet the talk as you know, Delta, (Hi Degal) he rants easily and is tries to be at good persuading others, though not that successful. He can be annoying to most, but if you spend time, he kind of grows on you. He can be blunt and speak his mind, even accidentally say a few morbid things at times.

I could see even someone like the Shadow growing to like him pfft, though he'd never admit it of course. This is a very nice change of pace from the point form explanation. 

Powers/Weapons: His electricity (tries not to use it as it hurts him too), I feel like if I give him anything else he would sound OP, so I try to keep him with just that.

I agree with you, electricity is a powerful weapon and I'm glad you didn't try to give him anymore powers.

Strengths: Flying, his electricity, somewhat good at fighting, talking in front of crowds, inventing things.

Awesome more strengths then what he's just physically of! I really love his inventor trait it really adds to his quirky personality.

Weaknesses: Hurts himself frequently by accidents, eats more then he can chew at times, not a smart talker, hunting.

He has a good balance between his strengths and weaknesses, awesome! I'm glad that while he has a crazy power, he's not fully immune to it himself and thus has a limit. 

Family: Mother - Honeysuckle - a tall, gracefully slim dragoness with yellow scales with a hint of gold to them. Has black around her eyes, end of scales, and wings. Has green eyes.Father - Bullet - A strong nearly fully black dragon with hints of red on his snout, talons, and wings with brown eyes. Dead.Brother: Soldier (like a soldier ant) - A smaller the normal worried nearly fully back HiveWing. Has a few golden scales on his undersides and wings, even a few on his sides. Has brown eyes.

I wish you'd include his relationships with his family and how they felt about him, especially after he left. How they influenced his life/personality and if they were good relationships would of also have been appreciated.

Friends: Leafcutter (as you know)Titan - A huge burly kind of as cinnamon colored MudWing with a thiccer build then most. Has five younger siblings and two older dead siblings. (Bodygaurd/ best friend material)Faithtracker - A slim and fine lookin' black NightWing with large teeth and slightly larger talons. Has sweet yellow eyes, with a constant smile on his face.Trickle - a much smaller SeaWing with greenish aquamarine scales with a light shade for his underbelly. Has pale green glow in the dark stripes, with a scratchy voice that he tries not to use so much. Can breath fire.Crush/Mate: Possibly Leafcutter? If that's okay with you that is-

Dude yes. Although I'm not sure how that would fit in with his story since she hatched on Pantala.

Dragonets: Nope-

Backstory: Sap's family was a group of runaways, trying to hide from Queen Wasp, and wanting to live a happy life. Sap was only an egg when they left, and Honeysuckle was glad for it, seeing as his father died trying to protect his egg, brother-in-law, son, andd mate. Soldier was only a year old when this happened, and was scarred by it, and promised his father he would protect Sap no matter what happened. They flew away to Pyrrhia, and hide in a nearby forest, trying to hide. The family stayed there for about a month, and a week before Sap was going to hatch, a storm came, and lighting hit his egg. Instead of killing him, his egg absorbed it, and gave him his electrical powers. When Sap hatched, was around the time everyone else did too (Trickle, Char, Mist ect.), and accidently zapped his mother, but it was only a small little spark. The family was shocked (no pun intended) by this, and made him keep his power a secret incase anyone found out. When he was five, he meet a small group of dragons, a SeaWing named Trickle, a SkyWing named Char, a SkyWing/IceWing hybrid named Mist, and a small family of MudWings, but grew close to the third oldest, Titian. He learned that they all had something unique that most of their tribes didn't have (except Titan and his family, besides the egg thing, they were wanted by the Queen for Stag's (the youngest) disobedience in killing Trickle.) He told them about his power, and showed them. "Electricity. Hmmm, we could use something like that late on, maybe. You should totally join us!" were Trickle's words. Sap agreed snuck away, leaving a note that he would be safe and sound with his new friends. The group found many other dragons like them, a RainWing with to much venom, a SandWing with the ability to stretch his limbs to crazy amounts (cleverly named Stretch and Acid), and a NightWing that could temporarily take away their powers (Dryeyes). Once their group was large enough, they went to find a land for them all to rest in. Sap found a large cavern while looking for ores one day, and they realized they could make a place of rest for them all. They started to make it livable, making caves with their own claws, making rooms for stores, and finding ores and moving them. One day, Sap was fiddling around with and old NightWing relic he found (Second Chance Cavern is located near the old kingdom btw), and started to play with it, coming up with diffrent ideas and started to invent things. He's still a newbie at it, but loves it with all his heart, and wishes to continue it. Right now, he's currently working on making armor for someone besides Titian to touch Char and Mist without burning (or freezing).

There's a few problems I have with this, the first is again the era and the story not matching up. If it's a couple hundred years after the first book she'd be long dead and there'd be zero reason to be a family of runaways. The second is how exactly did they survive the flight to Pyrrhia? It's supposedly a four day flight, and the coast they'd land on would be either the sand kingdom or the edge of the ice kingdom which both have no forests. Another thing is how did nobody find this group? And it mention's the 'queen wanted Stag' which queen? Finally, nobody questions Sap for being a HiveWing? Like at all? 

Other: He's in a upcoming book 'We, the Freaks' so if you're interested in him, I can tag you in the book. He's also a bit of aWIP btw.

TAG ME.

————8.5/10

Originality and creativity: 25/25 Sap's name, appearance and power is all very unique, I think it's super creative that you gave him the ability to generate electricity and gave it to him in a way that's not super over powered. I like that he's an inventor, and an inventor is an occupation that I think really only Mastermind had and really he was more learned to experimenting opposed to building. I also love the idea of the Second Chance Cavren and I can totally see him being apart of it for not just his powers, but his quirky outspoken personality.

Detail and effort: 23/25 I can see you put a lot of effort into your character and defiantly a lot of detail, but as some was left out (like certain relationships and other small details) and it caused you to lose a few points along with not really including any 'others'. Otherwise it's great!

Realism and Interest: 19/25 you really just points for the whole Delta is a facts nazi when it came to the journey across the ocean, the time era confusion along with the fact that nobody seemed to care at all that hivewings were suddenly a thing on Pyrrhia. 



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