Kalian stood with Bellamy near the back of the group, listening as Commander Lev repeated orders that had arrived earlier that day. They were to continue onward to Selcouth tomorrow, regardless of the weather. Kalian believed traveling would be miserable, especially if the light drizzle they were currently experiencing shifted into another thunderstorm.

    "After we've set up our camp," the Commander continued, "we've been instructed to clear the area of any Faeries, Scindoes, or Witches we might find. Apparently, there have been many Faerie caravans traveling to Selcouth."

    "Well, it is a port city," Kalian muttered to himself. "Anyone wishing to escape persecution would try to flee to another country."

    "You should be careful what you say." Bellamy's voice was quiet and carried a hint of warning. "Commander Lev has been asking around about you. She claims your behavior is suspicious.

    Kalian stiffened. Icy magic surged through his veins as he hastily ensured his glamour was still in place. He tucked his wings close to his back, drawing a steadying breath. "Who has she spoken to?"

    "Me, Delilah, Malachi, Lir, and a few others I think. Just the people who have interacted with you the most."

    "And?"

    He was already drafting numerous escape plans, in case his position had been compromised. Perhaps he could find another Ironblade unit to infiltrate. He wouldn't give up on his King and Queen's assignment just because one unit was getting antsy about him.

    "I think you should tell her more about your past. That might explain some of your behavior and ease her suspicions."

    Kalian swallowed his nervous sigh. "That's easier said than done."

    "I know, but if her suspicions grow..." Bellamy frowned, facing Kalian fully. "Best case scenario, she'll kick you out of the unit. Worst case, you'll wind up dead."

    "I don't fear death." Kalian returned his focus to the Commander, even though Bellamy continued to watch him. Just failing the living.

    "Think about it at least. It would help your chances at being chosen as Second. She'll be more likely to trust you if you show that you trust her."

    "How do you know that?"

    Bellamy shrugged. "It's how women are. They like to be treated as equals. They like to be shown that they're trusted and respected. Commander Lev might be feared, but as for respect..."

    "How do you know so many secrets about women?" Kalian chuckled.

    "Benefits of having an older sister." Bellamy closed his eyes, his features pinched with sorrow.

    "I'll think about it," Kalian promised. A smile reached Bellamy's lips and lingered there.

    Ten more minutes passed before Commander Lev finished speaking. The drizzle had turned into a heavy sprinkle. It wouldn't be long before the storm fully arrived. Kalian set off after Bellamy towards their tent, then paused as someone cleared their throat behind him. He faced Commander Lev.

    "I'd like to speak with you," she said.

    Wariness crept over him, but Kalian nodded. He couldn't very well refuse. He trailed the Commander to her tent, ignoring the curious stares that followed them. A crackling fire was already glowing in the center of the tent when they arrived. Kalian started as a log cracked, splitting right down the middle. Commander Lev knit her brows.

    Kalian sat on a small wooden stool, keeping a good distance between himself and the fire. The Commander tilted her head, curls tumbling over her shoulders. "Why are you afraid of fire?" Kalian didn't answer. "Does it have to do with your back?"

    Kalian shifted his wings closer to himself, as if they could hide the scars that were already hidden beneath his glamour. Briefly, he wished he'd hidden the ones on his back too. Logs snapped again and embers drifted towards a hole in the center of the tent's ceiling.

    "I was caught in a fire," he said, his voice little more than a whisper. "I barely escaped with my life." He wished he hadn't escaped at all. Kalian rubbed his thumb over the scar on his wrist. Commander Lev's glowing gaze missed nothing.

    "How did it happen?" She asked, ignoring his wrists for now.

    Kalian stared at his boots. "The sacking of Cosette." He hesitated again, debating how much to tell her. Bellamy's words rang through his ears, making the decision for him. "Spark powder went off near my home, setting it on fire."

    "Were you inside when the flames ignited?"

    Kalian nodded. "I had gone to protect my wife and daughter, but...it was too late."

    Something in the Commander's voice softened as she spoke. "If you are able to tell me, I'd like to know the full story."

    "I have never told anyone the full story."

    "Why?"

    Kalian squeezed his eyes shut. Only dark memories waited there. "Because I can't bear to."

    "Then tell me what you can."

    Could he do that? Could he trust his story, his pain and misery, to a woman who was his enemy? Did he have a choice? Maybe not, but he'd try to give himself one. Kalian met the Commander's gaze. "You asked about my scars. I can tell you that much for now, but nothing more."

    Her mouth pressed into a thin line. "Very well."

    "I was helping the others defend what remained of Cosette when I saw someone heading towards my house. I followed and arrived in time to see a Human man slit my wife's throat and stab my daughter. He escaped. I would've gone after him, but my daughter was..." Kalian closed his eyes, turning his face away.

    "My tummy hurts."

    "The pain will be gone soon, Butterfly. You'll be all right."

    "Yara was still alive," he whispered. "Dying, but alive. I couldn't let her die alone."

    "How old was she?"

    "Five."

    Commander Lev drew a sharp breath. Kalian wondered if she would be so shocked, had she known that Yara was a Faerie. Despite her clemency to Faerie children, Kalian didn't doubt that she held no affection for them. He steeled himself and pressed on.

    "The spark powder blew up a portion of my home," Kalian said. "I shielded Yara from the blast, earning these scars in the process."

    He could recall every minute of the explosion with uncanny detail. Yara's frightened eyes searching his. The faint sound of the powder being poured. He remembered wrapping his wings around both of them, knowing what was coming. Yara's final words, whispered in his ear. The explosion and the searing pain. The flames that engulfed his house, devouring everything.

    He'd had enough time to grab Calandra's dagger, the same obsidian dagger he now carried, before he'd stumbled out of the burning building. He remembered sitting there for two days, watching the flames dwindle until his home, and his wife and daughter, were nothing but ashes to be spread by the wind. Then, he'd taken that same blade and cut deep into his wrists, almost to the bone.

    A hand touched his wrist. Kalian blinked his memories away, realizing he'd been digging his nails into his scars. Commander Lev let her hand fall. She'd moved closer, now seated on a bucket at his side. "I had enough time to claim Calandra's dagger before the house began to collapse," Kalian finished, his voice raw. He drew his obsidian blade and traced his thumb over the smooth sharp edge.

☽◦༻◦☽◦༺◦☽

    Moira's heart twisted, hearing the pain in Kalian's voice. That same pain had often filled her own. "Your dagger belonged to your wife?" He bowed his head. Moira glanced at his back, where his leather shirt hid his scars. "They didn't look as bad as I'd suspect, if you were that close to the blast when it occurred."

    "Another reason why I have...some respect, for magical creatures. A Witch found me and healed me afterwards."

    Moira's gaze dipped to his wrists and the twin scars that marred them. "Did she heal those too?" She shuddered to imagine any kind of magic being used on her body, but would she feel otherwise if she were dying? If she had been burned like he had?

    Kalian sheathed his dagger. "Yes."

    "Do you wish she hadn't?"

    "Every day."

    Moira hesitated, then asked, "How close to death were you?"

    Kalian's eyes closed once more. "On the brink." Before she could question him again, his eyes flew open and his gaze met hers. Undiluted anger reflected in their dark blue depths. "Rather than waste the second chance at life I had been offered, I chose to hunt down the bastard who killed them."

    "What will you do when you find him? Carry out your original plan?"

    "Maybe. I don't know."

    "You don't think there's a chance that you could rebuild the life you lost? Fall in love with someone new? Have more children? Let go and move on?"

    "I think you know as well as I do how impossible that seems."

    Moira held his gaze, not bothering to mask her emotions. "You're right. I do. That's why I'm so desperate not to lose my position. Without it, I have nothing." She pointed to her crystal and obsidian daggers, which were lying on her bedroll. "My vendetta with Faeries is too personal for the use of an iron blade. Crystal for Day Faeries, obsidian for Night. When I take a life, I want them to know that it's for revenge, so I kill them with weapons of their own design."

    "Don't people ever question where the blades came from?"

    "They do, and they never receive an answer. I owe no one any explanations anymore."

    "When will I be able to say the same?"

    Moira narrowed her eyes. "When I trust you."

    Kalian leaned closer and again, that cool scent of ice, wind, and spruce washed over her. "How will I earn your trust, Commander?"

    "Tell me who you are, Kalian Deirdre," she answered.

    "Only if you do the same, Moira Lev." Something unfamiliar fluttered in her stomach. Apprehension, suspicion, and...more. "Trust goes both ways. A leader must trust their followers, and followers must trust their leader."

    "Stop giving me the urge to hit you and we'll talk."

    A low laugh rumbled in his chest. She couldn't tell if he was actually amused or not. "That's what Calandra used to say." Kalian stood and left the tent without another word.

    Moira remained seated on the bucket for several minutes, his scent floating around her. Finally, she pushed herself to her feet and shrugged out of her leathers. Somehow, speaking with Kalian had only given her more questions, not answers. And, for the first time in seven years, she thought she might have finally found someone whose pain was as great as her own. She had found someone whose story stirred her heart, which she thought had long stopped beating.