*Reader's POV*

While it wasn't the most shocking thing that had ever happened to you, being instated as a member, but not technically a member, of the Special Operations Squad was definitely up there on your list of most surprising things that had happened to you. The weird in-between position they gave you to try and mediate how unprecedented it was to have a rookie join Levi Squad after just one expedition may have been a glorified lackey, but it was still a position with Captain Levi's Squad.

Of course, right now, that consisted of doing the menial chores, message delivery, and other small tasks like that, but you were still a part of the team. They'd only given you this aid position they'd made on the spot because you were so new, and it did a decent job of putting you at the bottom of the food chain until you were more seasoned. However, you were still considered part of Captain Levi's Squad–you had your own private chambers and everything, which meant you wouldn't have to worry about not waking up anyone while you snuck out of the barracks every once in a while to get something to eat.

Also, now that you were officially being placed with a squad, you knew what people you had to try and made friends with. Before you'd been hesitant–sure, you understood that the Scouts operated in a way that was going to make teamwork and camaraderie important, so you were going to have to be more social, but you still wanted to be careful about who you let get close. You still had an instinct to keep everyone at an arm's length besides those you had to keep close, which you had rationalized would include whoever you were put under and the rest of your squad.

While you'd known Levi was watching you and the rumors had been running rampant that a rookie would be joining his squad, you'd been well aware that he wasn't watching you because he wanted to add you to the group–he was suspicious of you. That sparring match you'd had with him had tipped him off, and he hadn't relented in his pursuit ever since then. In fact, when he'd told you that you were going to be a part of his squad, he didn't look entirely pleased about it. Sure, Captain Levi was usually hard to read and usually appeared distant or unapproachable, but the look in his eyes had been...colder. It made you suspicious that having you on the squad had not been his decision, or at the very least it had been one he'd made despite his reservations.

Keep your enemies close, right?

Once it was on the table that this might be a position meant solely as an excuse to keep a closer eye on you, it made your skin crawl, and you approached every situation with caution. You had to watch every step, like you were walking across a tightrope and would drown if you slipped and fell into the waters down below.

When you'd joined the Scouts, you knew that it was going to be difficult to balance being a Scout with hiding your true nature, but this was far beyond what you had expected. It made you dearly wish that you had thrown that match back on the training grounds, that he'd never gotten a sense that you were hiding something so fiercely.

Soon, you were going to be kept up at night with an internal struggle to either stick it out and try to endure so you could do what you came here to do, or if you should just take off and slink back into the shadows.

But you couldn't bear the thought of going back to that life, as much as it might have been 'safer' in a way. You wanted desperately to be here–but did you want it bad enough that you were going to throw all caution to the wind, risk the Captain getting too close to your secret. In the past, before you'd joined the military, you'd killed the people who came too close to exposing you. But that wasn't an option, here. You knew how valuable Captain Levi was to the Scouts–humanity couldn't afford to lose him, so you couldn't afford to touch him. Your only choice was to play this god forsaken cat and mouse game and pray that you came out on top.

Thankfully, the other members of the squad weren't aware of the cat and mouse you and Levi were caught up in–not yet, anyway. Though they were understandably confused and even a little irritated at the inclusion of a still-green rookie, even if it was as an aid. Maybe the aid position caused a bit more tension, because a new position had been created just so you could be added to the group.

Give it time, you told yourself as you continued cleaning your private room that had been assigned to you, currently working on cleaning the desk off until it had a polished shine to it. Even if Levi hadn't added you to the squad because he necessarily wanted you here, you were still going to prove that you could belong here, if they would let you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Did you finish with the stables?"

"Yes, sir. Mucked out, equipment cleaned, horses fed, watered, and brushed, shoes cleaned, all of it."

"What about cleaning inside, have you done all the tasks you were assigned?"

"All except what Oluo asked me to do. I haven't got there yet."

"Well, get to it. And when you're done come down to the training grounds for some training."

"Yes, sir!"

As you walked away from Eld, your ears picked up on a passing comment he made to Gunther when he thought you were out of earshot.

"Is it just me, or is it frustrating how easily and quickly she tends to get all of her tasks done? I can't even find anything wrong with it, so I can't claim she's rushing through it!"

"You too? I thought it was just Oluo complaining about that."

Just as you'd suspected. The others weren't pleased with your easy access to this position. They weren't going to say anything because they trusted Levi's judgement and as far as they knew it was his decision, but that didn't mean they weren't going to be at least a little irritated. How long had it taken before they'd been added to Levi's squad? How many expeditions, how much hard work? By all accounts, it looked like you'd had smooth and effortless sailing into a position among the elite.

The fact they kept having you do the shit chores was just a way to kick you back in the dirt and remind you that you were still a rookie, and they were the veterans with experience.

However, you didn't complain. You could do the jobs faster than anyone without loosing accuracy because of it. Not to mention you felt it might be cathartic for their frustrations. Though, now it seemed they had a new reason to be frustrated.

You'd tone it back to appease them, but Levi already knew what your full effort looked like with the cleaning jobs–he'd know you were holding back, and you highly doubted he'd appreciate that when it came to cleaning, knowing his standards.

Quickly, you made your way back inside and up to Oluo's chambers, stopping outside the door and giving a firm knock.

"Who's there?"

"It's L/N, you said you had a job for me to do?"

"It's about time you showed up. Get in here!"

After he'd officially invited you inside, you opened the door, stepping inside and expecting to see paperwork or supplies or something else you would have to deliver or put away.

Nope. Oluo was standing there with cleaning supplies presented in the middle of the room. You immediately knew where this was going, and even you could tell it wasn't going to end well.

"Start cleaning, rookie. I've got more important things I have to get done, and I want it shining by the time I get back," Oluo ordered, complete with a puffed out chest.

You were supposed to follow their orders without question, but you knew Oluo was taking advantage of that fact. Maybe he was hoping having you clean his quarters before Levi inspected them later today would help him look better to the Captain. But you were also certain that Levi would recognize that it was your work and not Oluo's

For Oluo's sake, since you were certain he would be the one getting in trouble, you pushed back slightly.

"Doesn't Captain Levi prefer if we clean our own spaces?" You asked as you picked up the broom. Oluo turned by the door, fixing you with the imitation of an expression befitting a superior who'd just heard a subordinate talk back.

"Huh? How long have you been here, rookie, compared to me?" Oluo challenged. You shrugged, turning back to the cleaning supplies and the room you were supposed to clean.

His funeral.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The window was open to let in natural light and try to chase away the gloomy atmosphere in your room, silence filling the space except for the birds outside and the scratching against the paper you were currently drawing on. Your eyes, however, were unfocused, looking past the piece you were drawing and instead getting lost in the sea of your depressed thoughts.

For three years you'd been back among people, mingling and being a part of society, but never had you felt so...ostracized. You were among people, but you weren't close to anyone. Your peers thought you were a haughty perfectionist ice queen and were irritated by how easily everything came to you, Captain Levi was suspicious that there was something you were hiding and was watching your every move with a coldness in his eyes, and your new squad mates were currently using you as the gopher to dump all the chores they didn't want to do onto you while giving you examining, dubious looks from a distance trying to figure out why you were even here.

You sat alone at meals, you didn't go anywhere on your days off–the closest thing you had to a companion were the horses, and most of them were still frightened by you.

You wanted to be here, but...it was getting so hard just to be here. Was it really worth it if you were going to spend your days feeling like this?

On the paper spread out in front of you, you had a picture drawn from the mental image in your mind's eye–a single flower in a barren spot surrounded by lush field. The sun shone everywhere else, but this single spot was cast in shadow. Despite the barren ground and the lack of sunlight, the flower was trying to bloom, partially budded, some petals trying to uncurl, but ice covered it's petals and held prisoner it's stem, restraining it in the icy chill, needing assistance but nothing around it willing or able to help.

You put down what you were drawing with, a lump in your throat and tears in your eyes as you headed over to your bed and stretched out on top of the neatly made covers, arms digging under the pillow you buried your face in before tears could overflow.

You were surrounded by people, but you'd never felt so lonely, and you wanted it to change. Even though you'd signed up for this and known it would be difficult, you couldn't take living like this anymore. Something had to change. You didn't know how you were going to keep your secret while trying to let people in enough to form bonds, but it was the only real option that you had.

The guys were all dubious of you, you could tell from overheard conversations and the looks in their eyes, but Petra...well, you thought if you were going to start trying to build a friendship somewhere, she might be the one to go to. She'd been a bit more...open, about the whole arrangement, and she was actually asking for help and trying to get a feel for you while everyone else seemed to be going out of their way to remind you that you were at the bottom of the food chain right now.

Starting tomorrow...you were going to try and be a companion and hopefully manage to find some friendship. Starting with Petra.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*Petra's POV*

The mess hall was noisy as ever, making it a little surprising that Captain Levi was still sitting with them at the table after repeating the lecture he'd given Oluo later about doing his own cleaning. Now that Oluo had attempted to have the rookie clean his space and then pass it off as his own, the rest of them got to get the warning to do their own responsibilities without shoving them all off on the new girl.

Petra had felt bad that she seemed to be getting all the crap jobs nobody wanted to do and then some while the others seemed determined to make sure she knew her place, but she hadn't said anything because not once had the woman complained or looked the least bit upset by it. Until today, Petra had been unsure how to even approach her, something about her making her seem closed off and unreachable.

However, today she had approached Petra, quietly asking Petra if she would teach her the nuances for how everything was cleaned around here. Preferences of soaps and organization, what went where and the like. You could clean till everything shone like a new coin, bur preferences had to be taught or learned. She'd been aware of it, and she had been humble enough to approach Petra for answers.

It was only when she was approached that Petra suddenly realized how alone the woman seemed. She never ate with them–in fact she was certain she ate alone–and she was never seen around anyone from her years as a cadet, she didn't seem to leave headquarters to visit family, and if you needed to find her she was either alone in her room or with the horses in the stable. She was never with someone unless she was doing her job.

The thing that made Petra realize all this was how she was approached. The woman shifted her weight, a white knuckle grip on the broom in her hand despite visible restraint, her eyes fixed down and to the side, a slight tremble in her hand and a hunch of her shoulders like she was anticipating some negative reaction, or at least reluctance.

It wasn't right. She was part of their squad, and it was their job to make sure she felt included. Captain Levi must have felt that she was ready on some level to be here, and they were her comrades. At the very least, she should have a place among them–she shouldn't be so alone.

So, while everyone else was chatting as usual around the table, Petra kept an eye out for their new squad member. It took a while, but when the woman finally appeared and left the line to get her food, Petra attempted to catch her attention without the others noticing.

They locked gazes, and Y/N hesitated before she approached their table, making the others look up as she came astride the table.

"May I sit here?" she asked hesitantly, gaze flickering around at the others and lingering briefly on Captain Levi at the head of the table.

"Of course," Petra said instantly, gesturing to an empty seat beside her and flashing a look at the others daring them to disagree while Y/N was taking her seat. "It's about time you started sitting with your squad."

Her cheeks tinged pink in mild embarrassment, Y/N took a few bites of her meal, clearly uncertain about what to do next.

Well, if everyone else was just going to sit here in awkward silence, and Y/N wasn't going to take the initiative because she wasn't sure how, Petra would just have to do it herself.

"So, where are you from?" Petra asked her. It was probably the best, simple answer to get the ball rolling on conversation.

"A small town in Wall Rose–it tends to get overlooked, and it's usually quiet around there except the occasional scandal."

"Do you have much family back home?"

"No, it's just me."

The way she said it was short, clearly ending the topic there, but she managed to not make it sound mean–just that she wasn't entirely comfortable talking about it, which made sense. Petra continued to chat with her, asking simple questions to try and learn more about her, basing some off her observations of the woman–like if she was good with animals. Apparently animals weren't always that fond of her, but she had a soft spot for them despite some animals distaste of her. She thought she might be good with cats or birds, but hadn't really had the opportunity to test her theory out.

After a bit of back and forth between Petra and Y/N about their lives and learning about one another, the others started to join in as well–aside from Captain Levi, who seemed content to just focus on his meal and listen while everyone talked around him. As the conversation flowed a little more naturally, Y/N started to loosen up and relax, taking charge of the conversation a few times to ask about the others as well as she bloomed from a closed off background character in a novel to a more outgoing and engaging individual. It was quite the change to witness. She still withdrew into herself with more personal questions, especially about her past before joining the Scouts, which gave Petra the impression that the Scouts were a sort of fresh start for the woman. She shared with them why she'd joined the Scouts, which none of them could deny was a valid enough reason after seeing her in action. She had skill, and if she wanted those skills to be put to use, the Scouts were arguably the best place for them, and the faction of the military with the strongest need for them. Besides, who didn't want to feel useful? Unfortunately, many Scouts died, and some died so quickly it was easy to wonder if their deaths ever had any meaning to begin with, if it had been worth it. However, Petra had the feeling this one wasn't going to be one of those recruits that appeared and disappeared without ever leaving much of a mark. She just might be around for a while, especially if she was going to take the time to learn from the elites she'd been placed with and stayed grounded, level-headed, and smart.

As the questions drifted away from the personal, in part because of Y/N's continued reluctance to delve too deeply into the personal, they started peppering her with the twenty-questions kinds of inquiries. What were her likes and dislikes, favorites, hobbies, fears, aspirations, that kind of thing. Some she was able to answer relatively quickly, even if it wasn't simple, such as having no clear favorite because she liked so many, and other times she hesitated, such as when she was asked aspirations, because she hadn't given it much thought, being so focused on this current stage of her life.

"What about biggest fears?"

"Oluo!" Petra protested, giving him a dirty look. They were all eating, and this question alone could get extremely dark considering the horrors they faced every day outside the wall.

"What? It's a legitimate question. Some people are scared of spiders, others heights–though you don't get much of that one in the military, I think–it could be all kinds of things."

"I think the answer to that is a little too morbid for dinner conversation," Y/N said with a slightly weak smile, which made Petra think it might actually be something to do with Titans. If it was, it was probably best they didn't hear it, just in case.

"Nah, it's fine, we're sharing–so what is it? Fire? Dolls? Dead fish?" Oluo asked cheekily.

"Um...being buried alive, actually," Y/N answered, looking down and picking at her food.

"Damn, that is a pretty scary thought. Wasn't expecting that one," Oluo muttered. Petra wasn't paying attention to him–she was reading Y/N's body language, how she'd seemed to withdraw into herself and her hand was trembling as she pushed around the food left on her plate. It was most likely at the thought of this fear of hers, if Petra had to guess. The mental imagery alone was terrifying.

At the other end of the table, Levi was staring at Y/N intently, having noticed the same things, and a little more.

"Now that Oluo has officially tried to sabotage the evening, let's try some gossip: I hear you had a knack for sneaking out in the Cadet Corps and never got caught. What were you doing? I've heard some interesting theories," Gunther said with a perceiving glint in his eyes. Y/N sighed even as everyone's attention centered on her.

"God damn those rumors are going to follow me for the rest of my life, aren't they?" she mused, not denying that she snuck out as she took a slow drink.

"Well, Rookie? Care to share?" Oluo asked as she sat down her drink.

She turned to look at the rest of the group, and then with an unreadable expression and in a completely deadpan tone, stated, "I strip naked in the pale moonlight and conduct blood rituals to achieve perfection."

There was a heartbeat, and then snorts, chuckles, a ripple of amusement through the group at the joke.

"Rookie's got a sense of humor," Oluo mused.

Y/N's lips quirked towards a half smile, taking another drink. "Wish I could say the same for you."

There was a bit more laughter this time, even as Oluo scowled, no one bothering to hide their amusement at the comment.

"And some snark, to boot," Gunther snickered as Oluo sulked. "But really, though, what were you doing?"

Y/N sighed, setting down her drink again. "It wasn't...actually, you know what," she said with a sparkle in her eye and a mischievous smile. "I hear there's a pot for the theories. Place bets on it, maybe one day I'll actually tell you. Maybe I won't."

"Oh, come on," Oluo complained loudly.

"Now that's just mean," Petra said with a cluck of her tongue and a shake of her head while Y/N settled back down, visibly proud of her teasing.

Caught up in their banter and companionable discussion, no one noticed how at the head of the table, laid back in his chair, Levi showed no sign of amusement, his gaze fixated on Y/N with a sharp, cold look.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*Reader's POV*

After you'd taken your first steps towards developing a warmer relationship with your squad mates, things started to go a bit easier for you. You were still at the bottom of the food chain, and the responsibilities as an aid hadn't changed, but you didn't think you were getting as much shit dumped on you. It probably helped that Captain Levi had apparently given them a lecture about doing their own chores instead of getting lazy and shoving them all off on her.

For the most part, it was Petra that you were getting close to. The others were becoming cordial, and you had even approached Eld asking him if he could give you lessons on ODM gear technique after hearing he was quite skilled at utilizing the ODM gear. That seemed to have helped the relationship there–frankly, whenever you showed a bit of humility about still having a lot to learn, they warmed up a bit more.

It seemed there had been concerns that you would be an arrogant big headed pain in their asses with how quickly you'd shot into the elite squad, and showing them that you still considered yourself in a learning position and not above anyone helped assuage those fears.

Captain Levi...was as suspicious of you as ever. Except now you were around him enough to feel the chill in his gaze even after you left his presence. That was a relationship you weren't sure you were in a position to improve. You'd given him plenty of reasons to be suspicious of you, but you were still trying your damnedest not to give him a reason to mistrust you. Maybe it would just take time to prove yourself in his eyes, but at this rate, it was looking like a deep hole you were going to have to climb out of, and for some reason, it just kept getting deeper.

Since it was going to be the more difficult task, you resolved to worry about making a better relationship with Captain Levi later and instead focus on improving the relationship with your squad mates. Firstly, you didn't want to be a kiss ass, especially cause you knew it would be obvious. Second, ideally by the time you set about improving your relationship with the Captain, he might have warmed up a bit to you.

At the very least, it would be nice if that chill wasn't in his gaze anymore.

Right now, Petra was the closest thing to a confidant and friend that you had. After you had initially approached her about learning the nuances for cleaning, she'd taken the initiative to help you learn the ropes and adjust to the other nuances of being in Levi Squad, which involved a lot of dos and don'ts. She'd even pulled you aside one evening and sat you down so she could teach you how to properly make Captain Levi's tea how he liked it, so that if or when he asked for it–and apparently he eventually asked everyone at some point, at least to gauge their tea making skills–you would be ready. You'd been down in the kitchen for a surprisingly long time for that one, since apparently Levi liked his black tea made a very specific way, and additives weren't usually his preference, so there would be no masking any off taste.

Shortly after, you'd decided to let Petra know about your secret little garden with your tea making herbs. You'd gone when you both had some free time to spare, crouching down beside the garden and talking with her about the different herbs for your blends you'd added and why, complete with a prepared excuse about why the white sage was so far away from the rest and why you wore gloves when handling the plans at all times.

The white sage you told her needed to stay separate because it was aggressive and you didn't want it taking over the smaller herbs, when you really kept it separate because it burned at the touch and you didn't want to risk even accidentally brushing against it while you were working on this hobby of yours. As for the gloves, it was the same concept–it let you handle the sage safely without harming yourself, though you told her it was for cleanliness and to keep your natural oils off of the tea herb plants.

As you'd chatted about the herbs in your garden and potential additions (With Petra suggesting adding the plants necessary to make some black tea blends of your own), you'd caught a familiar scent on the breeze, which led you to hone your senses on the individual's breathing and heartbeat. They were staying a safe distance away so as not to be noticed, but close enough that if something happened they would be there in an instant. They were tense and cautious, listening intently to what was being discussed.

It seemed Captain Levi had reached the point he didn't trust you alone with the other members of Squad Levi in places that were hidden from the public eye. Your best guess for his presence was that it was out of concern for Petra, wanting to make sure the other woman was truly safe in your presence.

Once again, you understood his cautiousness, and he wasn't wrong to be cautious...but the level of distrust still cut.

After about a week or so spent developing a stronger bond with your new squad mates, as the time for another feed drew closer, you decided to confide in some of your concerns with Petra regarding Captain Levi–that you felt you might have made a bad impression on him early on and wanted a way to thaw some of the ice between you two that wouldn't look like bribery or like you were trying to kiss ass. You'd tossed a couple ideas around, already reassuring her that you were already intending to let time tell and let your own personality and abilities do most of the work, but that the chill was getting a little too uncomfortable on your end for you to keep going without making some kind of first step.

With an upcoming holiday and a debate about the best approach, you'd eventually settled on putting together a small gift of personalized tea blends. Since you didn't have anything mature in your garden for black tea, you had to go into town to get missing ingredients, going with Petra to get her opinion on the best leaves, best tea bags, any additions that you didn't have in your garden back with the Scouts or that hadn't matured enough to use anything from it yet like your rosebush. After you had all of your materials, you'd headed back to HQ and stowed yourselves away in the kitchen to get to work.

Petra had the idea to make a couple different variations–there would be plain black tea, of course, but you'd also had some personal blends that you two decided on, mostly based off of Petra's experience making Levi his tea when asked to, and her past observations of the few times he'd added something to it. You would have to divide and label the different teas in the container, but it would make it a little more personal.

However, you got her attention when you brought out the white sage, gloved hands grinding the herb up into a fine powder with a mortar and pestle.

"What's that for?" she asked with a slight frown, watching you intently grinding at the white sage to make sure it was all powder and there weren't any chunks left.

"I'm going...to add a light dusting of the white sage over the tea bags. Hopefully not enough to alter the taste, but it will still be in there," you murmured, covered fingers running through the powder to check how fine you'd made it.

"I know there's superstitions about white sage cleansing of evil and bad spirits, but I know the Captain isn't, and you didn't take me for the superstitious type. I just figured you had a fancy taste in tea," Petra mused. You almost snorted, but stopped yourself short considering you were currently directly over the powdered sage and didn't want it to go everywhere.

"While I'm sure the superstitious intent of cleansing and warding off evil adds a bit more personal good intent, the short version is that it's also supposed to do wonders for your health. At least according to that book that's still stashed in my desk," you chuckled.

"I didn't know that...a fine addition, then. You really pay attention to that herbology book of yours," Petra quipped with a friendly smile, which you returned before setting the white sage aside for later, when your tea bags were finished.

Though only you would know it, if he kept the tea and used it frequently–which was fairly likely with how much tea he drank–then he would have white sage in his system frequently. That alone would protect him substantially from any other vampires lurking in the darkness. You couldn't predict the actions of other vampires, especially with how impulsive they could sometimes be, but if you were this deep in the Scouts, you would rather be safe than sorry, especially if someone with ill intentions managed to work their way in.

Sure, white sage helped with general health, but the real reason you were adding it was for your own peace of mind to help protect Captain Levi. Why not take the opportunity to do so now that it had presented itself. If you were in the position to, you would give similar gifts of secret protection to more than just him, but you only had so much white sage, and right now, he was the one you had an excuse to do this for.

Now you just had to hope he would accept it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*Levi's POV*

As much as Erwin had a point about being able to keep a closer eye on L/N by having her in his squad, Levi was finding the arrangement to be...complicating. The way she presented herself, interacted with the others, the hard work she was putting in, he kept finding himself softening towards her because of it. She was a good soldier who truly put in the effort and then some, and she was quickly growing on the rest of the team. She was observant and thoughtful, and she paid close attention to the needs and preferences of the people around her. She wasn't boastful or arrogant, and apparently was trying to learn something from every member of the squad. Petra had already taken her in like the natural mother hen she was and was around her quite often, but L/N could be seen around the others as well, just not as much.

For fuck's sake, she'd even befriended his goddamn horse–he'd caught her in the stables sneaking him some oats and getting playfully nuzzled in return. From her track record, he knew she had to have put in the effort for that to happen, too, considering the horses started off at least spooked by her.

But he knew she was hiding something. He couldn't ignore the signs he'd picked up on until now, how she dodged the personal and tried to keep her past hidden and buried, couldn't forget the smell of the Underground and blood on her cape, her lack of a past, her unexplained, effortless natural skills, the regular sneaking out to do who knew what. Maybe it wasn't as insidious as he kept thinking it might be, maybe he should ease up a bit instead of freezing her out and treating her like an already convicted traitor. But he couldn't shake this feeling that whatever she was hiding was far from innocent, and he didn't want to risk the betrayal, or getting his squad any more mixed up in it than they already were.

Though how well they were starting to take to her and how she was already being included into the fold, he was starting to get the sense that he was on a time limit before uncovering her as a traitor or something else terrible would cause unexpected damage.

Of course, he could take the paranoid route and assume that it was all clever, carefully planned movements, actions, and words meant to manipulate everyone around her into trusting her and letting their guards down. Unfortunately, not only was that extremely paranoid, but she didn't lack the sincerity behind much of what she did like certain psychopaths he'd met in the past. She was very clearly hiding things, and she knew she was being watched, but her sincerity didn't ring hollow because of it.

Fuck, he hated being in this position. And he really hated that he'd agreed to Erwin's idea to put him in this situation. Even he knew he was being especially cold to her as if it would help put some distance between himself and the warm individual who was working her ass off for him and his squad in case the worst happened. If he was wrong, though, and what she was hiding wasn't as malicious as he felt it might be, then he was going to have a lot of reparations to deal with going forward, especially since she was already on the fast track to be a part of his squad for a long time moving forward so long as she continued to survive the expeditions.

It would be so much easier if she just came clean. They wouldn't have to do all this back and forth, cat and mouse, and they could move on. Unfortunately, even though she knew she was being watched and Levi was suspicious, she wasn't saying anything beyond that comment she'd made the night before the expedition. Just another reason to believe whatever she was hiding was ugly.

There was a knock on his door, and his gaze flickered up to the shut door across from his desk, a faint frown on his face and Erwin's findings about L/N spread out in front of him as he was in the middle of contemplating next moves.

"What?" he asked, squinting slightly at the door.

"It's Y/N L/N. May I come in, Captain?"

Instinctively, Levi covered the documents he'd been looking at with anything that didn't have to do with her, from supply shortage lists, reports from Hange and Erwin about the Scouts in general, anything but what he was looking at about her, knowing she had a sharp eye and not wanting to risk her seeing just how much he was aware of.

"Fine, come in," Levi muttered, arm lying against the desk as the door opened after he spoke, and L/N came in hesitantly, something in hand.

A delivery, then. It was too much to hope she'd come to finally confess her secret to put an end to their unspoken chase. A pity.

As she approached, Levi noticed that she was rather fidgety, obviously nervous or at least a little embarrassed, and she was clutching the tin box in her hand rather rightly. What the hell was this about that suddenly she was a nervous cadet instead of the relatively calm and steady individual he'd been chasing secrets over up until now?

And then he remembered what day it was.

You've gotta be fucking kidding me...

As understanding lit up in his eyes, he held up a hand. "If this is an attempt at a bribe, L/N–"

"It's not," she said firmly, and Levi had to give credit to the balls she had to cut him off like that. She didn't even seem to regret it, plowing forward before he could start down the path of rejection again.

"It's a gift, no strings attached or anything like that. Petra and I put it together, it's for the holiday...and it's also partially a thank you, on my part," she said before taking a deep breath, setting the box down on his desk neatly on a clean space front and center before stepping away. "I know I haven't made the best impression, and you didn't have to put me with your squad in any capacity, but you did, and I intend to make sure it's not something you end up regretting."

It seemed they were both well aware of the game they were trapped in, and she was well aware of her position. He had to give her credit for not bolting, if she knew the position she was in and how much scrutiny she was under. Either she didn't feel what she had to hide was that serious, which wasn't likely with how hard she was trying to hide it, or she was that confident in her abilities to keep the truth hidden.

He still wasn't sure he could entirely believe that this wasn't a bribe, though. It could very easily be taken as one, or at least a thinly veiled attempt to get him to like her–or at least not be as cold with her. And she'd involved Petra. It was almost like she'd name dropped the other woman in order to prevent him from immediately rejecting the gift, because it wasn't just her that had put effort into it.

Levi stared her up and down intently, eyes narrowed slightly out of suspicion as he tried to gauge her intentions and sincerity. After a few tense moments where she simply endured his piercing stare without so much as a tremble–there was the collected individual he'd seen up until now–he looked away, down at the papers across his desk.

"If that's all, you can go," he said bluntly as a way of dismissal. She was lucky he wasn't telling her to take it back. He wasn't openly accepting it, either, he was still going to decide what to do with it, but he wasn't sending it back with her, either.

It was the closest she was going to get to accepting a gift right now.

L/N snapped a salute, apparently deciding it was better not to say anything and to just take the semi-win and leave. Once the door shut behind her, Levi waited a few more moments before he put the random papers he'd grabbed back where they belonged, pulling the tin close so he could get a look at what was inside now that she'd left.

Opening the tin, the fragrance that escaped immediately told him what the gift was–black tea, but a variety of different blends. And it was good tea, too, if the scent was anything to go by. Groups of the tea bags were sectioned off, labeled by the variant they were, such as the one blend that included lemon, or the one that seemed to have blackberries in it. The tea bags were definitely homemade, telling him the blends were specially made by her and Petra, thought going into the ingredients. There was a white powder dusted over all the tea bags that turned out to be white sage upon closer inspection.

An odd choice...especially since it was on every tea bag and not certain blends.

The wild thought crossed his mind that they might be poisoned, and he scowled, attempting to brush aside the paranoia with the thought that it would be far too bold and obvious of a move, especially with Petra helping put it together. He doubted she would have been able to get such a thing past Petra, too, considering the woman's experience making Levi's tea.

I'm going fucking crazy, he thought to himself as, despite his rationalization, he pulled out one of the tea bags and started methodically pulling it apart piece by piece to make sure there wasn't anything fatal slipped into the homemade blend. He made sure to avoid touching it as little as possible so it was still usable when he was done, shifting through the ingredients in the blend and making sure he recognized every one.

Nothing suspicious about it. Aside from the odd choice of white sage.

If it really was meant to be a bribe, though, did he want to take it? He didn't want to waste the tea, so he wasn't going to just throw it out. He could re-gift it to Hange or Erwin, but he knew that would be a slight, and L/N hadn't been the only one to make it–Petra had helped.

Dammit...

He'd just have to let it sit there until he could figure out what he was going to do with it. He could speculate on conspiracy theories about what it was meant to be, if it really was anything more than a gift, until he figured out how he was going to handle it.

It really could be what she said, though–a gift for the holidays and a thank you, maybe even a peace offering in the hopes things wouldn't continue to be so tense between them. The contention would continue, though, until he found out what she was hiding.

Levi settled back into what he'd been doing before she came to his office, looking over the details Erwin had provided him, a small frown on his face as he looked over official documents and police reports that were roughly forty years old about a double homicide in the town that had spawned local legends and horror stories to frighten children. Why was this included in the report Erwin gave him? One of the two victims was the girl that L/N shared a first name with, the only thing resembling a tangible connection to the town she claimed as her hometown that Erwin could find.

He was going to have to talk to Erwin and try to get a day or two off so he could go investigate in person. He needed more information than what was in these reports, and he would only find what he wanted by going there in person.

Once more, there was a knock on the door, this time followed immediately by a familiar voice calling, "Captain?"

Ah, this was a meeting he'd been waiting for.

"You can come in, Petra," he called, finally putting away Erwin's reports in a safe place as Petra entered the room and headed for Levi's desk. She didn't bother asking why he asked her to meet him, simply took a seat and waited for him to speak.

"What do you think about our new member?" Levi asked after he got settled in his seat. Petra's surprised eyes wandered to the gift still sitting on the desk, a questioning look in her eyes even though she complied to answering his question.

"Do you mean in skills or compatibility?" Petra asked for clarification after a moment's hesitation.

"Compatibility."

He was already well aware of her skills–she wouldn't have even been placed as an aid in the squad if she didn't have skills to become one of the elite. Skill was one of the first things he looked at when choosing squad members.

Petra seemed even more confused that he was asking after her personality more than anything, but again, she didn't question him.

"She's quiet and reserved, for the most part, but after spending a couple weeks with her, once you manage to get her to open up she has a warm and caring personality. She's a little socially timid, though, I'm sure you've noticed; like she's thinking of how she should act before she does or says something. At least at first, before she gets more comfortable and gets into the flow of conversation."

Petra paused to consider, a small frown on her face. "She's a creature of habit, that's for sure–she's always wearing the same necklace, all the time–I've never seen her without it, and there's certain places she's always at during certain times of the day. I'm a little worried about her health, though. I didn't notice it at first, but she hardly seems to eat. She doesn't get much on her plate, and she's always smuggling things that are safe for horses to eat to the stables to bribe the horses instead of eating it herself. She doesn't seem affected, not yet anyway, but I'm still worried about it."

Taking the mental notes for later in case that information proved important, Levi pressed a little further. "What about the others? It seems like she's fitting in well."

Petra nodded. "She's getting lessons of some kind from almost everyone, and she's been a lot better about being social. She's making a genuine effort to be a part of the squad, and to be perfectly honest, I like having her around."

"Anything else?"

Petra's gaze flickered over to the box sitting on the desk again. "If it's not too presumptuous, Captain–I don't know what impression she made when you two first met. She mentioned it may not have been the best first impression, but...she really is trying to be worth the chance she's been given to be a part of this squad, and her attempts appear genuine to me. Perhaps give her another chance to make a better impression."

Levi didn't answer her, and he kept his expression unreadable so she wouldn't see his reaction to her words. It was more incentive for him to close this messy chapter, and it helped clear up his thoughts on how to act going forward if this secret didn't turn out to be something crazy like treason or murder.

"Thank you, Petra. You can go, now," Levi finally answered in an indifferent voice. Petra got up and gave a quick salute, then quietly left the room without any further comment. Once she was gone, Levi got to his feet with a slight sigh.

He needed to see Erwin.