As a doctor, you're always stressed when at the hospital. Whether or not someone will go into cardiac arrest while you're doing your rounds, or whether or not the treatment I've prescribed will actually work, there are always a hundred different worries swarming around in your mind that may go away when I either retire or die.

But today, I feel weirdly calm. And that's partially due to the unpleasant memories that were constantly flashing through my mind. And through all the sobbing, worrying, and dread that I went through, the only consistent thought was to remain as calm as possible.

    "Doctor, this is urgent," a nurse calls for me, as I step into the area to check on the patient. My eyes dart over to get a good look at him so that I can judge the situation fully. The patient's salt and pepper colored hair is thinning and in patches. His peach-colored skin is wrinkled like old leather around his neck, wrists, and eyes. His monitor is steadily giving off the familiar beeps that told me we were okay so far.

But still, I know from personal experience that can change faster than a snap of the fingers.

"He's not responding well to the treatment. There's no improvement at all. What do we do?"

I turn to address the nurse, as I can feel the concern bleeding from her voice trickling into my ears. I looked her directly in the eye. "It's alright. Calm down, we'll be fine. There's another option that we can try. It should work if this one doesn't. Don't worry, everything will be fine."

The nurse gives me a slight nod of approval, as some of the concern in her voice starts to dry up. "Alright, sounds good, doctor."

And that's the sign that lets me know that we're going to be fine.

    At the end of my long shift, I can feel the slight discomfort from doing all that work ache at my knees and arms. I give myself another pat on the back for both a job well done and for not having a breakdown in the middle of my shift. I fiddle with my keys a little bit more as the pleasant jingling is a nice change from all the heart monitor beeping.

As I walk out of my office, I catch sight of another nurse who has also gotten off of her shift. When she sees me, she flashes a smile towards me and starts walking over towards me to start making some small talk. "Doctor, finally off of the shift?"

An exhausted sigh deflates out of me, as I give an affirmative nod. "Yep. Another job well done by the both of us, hm?"

A little chuckle escapes out of the nurse, as she rubs the back of her neck with her hand. A little humor here and there really helps to dissolve any sort of tension that's built up in my bones. And today, it definitely works. I slide my bag up a little bit higher on my shoulder, as I see the nurse's eyes dart back to me to ask me another question.

"Doctor, I have to ask. You were so calm today and it worked out beautifully. How did you remain so calm when we were so stressed out?"

Immediately, coupled by that question and what today is, I feel like someone just catapulted me back to one of the worst times in my life. The memories of the hospital, with its chalk white walls bleaching my irises and the antiseptic's scent nearly singeing my nostrils, brand their way into my mind.

I try to block those images out momentarily so that I could give a proper answer back to the nurse. "My good friend always told me that nothing good comes out of being stressed. If you're calm, then something will work out."

The nurse's head bobs up and down as an affirmative nod, and she said, "I totally agree. Well, doctor, it's late, and I'll let you get back home. Enjoy your evening!" she exclaims, with a smile brighter than the moon is that night.

The smile on my face doesn't wilt one bit, in the false hope that it would cloud out the dreadful memory clouding my mind. I return the remark with, "You too." I turn swiftly on my heel and make my way back to my car.

As the crisp air nips at my skin and the gentle breeze glides through my hair, the memories of that day are unleashed and they drown my mind in its pure misery. I can remember the cold linoleum floor jarring my kneecaps while I couldn't stop the hot tears from gushing down my face.

Silently, I kept on sending prayers that there would be either a match from Manish's parents or that a stroke of luck would glimmer in the form of a donor kidney so that the doctors would be able to replace the cyst filled ones that had failed inside him. I kept on clutching Manish's hand while my lungs felt like they were being ground up due to me suffocating on my massive sobs.

As I dehydrated myself through all those tears, I could see Manish's head turn on the pillow and his gentle brown eyes look right into my red, blotchy ones. "Jaya, calm down," he said, as I tried to salvage my voice in the midst of my sobs.

"How should I calm down? You're literally here from kidney failure. How do I even calm down?" I choked out, as I could see the warmth of his eyes deflate a tiny bit. His hand loosened from my clutch as it weakly floated to wipe some of the fat tears dripping down my face.

"Look, nothing good comes from being stressed. Calm down a little bit. When everyone is calmed down, finding a solution becomes much easier," he assured, as I felt a slight weight being lifted off and my lungs slowly reinflating with the new sense of freedom.

And surely enough, things did work out. His cyst filled kidneys were trumped by a fresh, clean kidney, albeit supplemented with plenty of anti-rejection medicines, and within no time, he was back to irritating me with corny jokes while serenading me with his guitar immediately after.

I feel tears sting my eyes as I relive that awful night, and the fact that tonight is the anniversary of his kidneys failing only rubs salt into the wound. I exhale a shaky sigh, while my hand dives into my bag to find my phone to give him a call. More than anything, I need the sound of his gentle voice to caress my ears and not the sound of heart rate monitors and frantic doctors.

When I finally find his contact, I press the phone to my ear, with the silent hope that he's not busy inflating my heart. I hear the line click slightly, and his familiar joyous voice greets me with a, "Hey, Jaya, what's up?"

That voice alone causes an unmistakable smile to stretch at my cheeks and the tears stinging my eyes to dry up a little. "Hey, just checking in to make sure that you're doing okay."

I can feel confusion sting Manish's conscience at first, but it clears up once he realizes what today is. "Oh, yeah, I kind of forgot. But thanks for checking in on me. You always did so when we were kids and I'm so glad that you still care enough to do that."

My lips purse together to prevent an even bigger smile from coming up and causing my cheek muscles to disintegrate. "Well, I'm just glad that you're still here, happy, healthy, and annoying me with the worst puns that every dad would probably commend you for."

Manish's hearty laugh radiates throughout the line, which naturally causes me to let out a few small chuckles as well. "Don't worry. I take my medication religiously. There will be many more nights of us jamming to my guitar, eating Ben and Jerry's, me crying at Neerja, and me calling you 'Plush-wini.' I promise you."

This time, I feel some positive memories start to wash away the negative flood that was drowning my mind earlier today. Just the thought that Manish is still here for us to create laughably cringey moments reconstructs my lungs a little bit and allows me to breathe. "And I'm so grateful for that. Say, why don't we watch a movie sometime? I'm always down for a good Rajkummar Rao or Fahadh Faasil movie."

I can feel the excitement boil up in Manish and his head nodding up and down vigorously. There's honestly no wrong time for movies like those, especially with Manish. "Absolutely. Now get some rest, Plush-wini. I'll catch you around."

I let out another snicker. "Of course. Bye." I hang up the phone and feel myself melt into my driver's seat a little bit more.

The memories of Manish comforting me over nightmares regarding that night blow back into my mind as I keep on smiling. Just the comfort of knowing that Manish is safe and happy and that he's here to reassure me and keep me happy is more than what I need.

And I'm only looking forward to keeping on getting closer with him and fueling this continuous stream of joy.

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I remember in Blooming Flower, I kind of gave an insight as to what Ashwini's nightmares were regarding Manish's past kidney failure. I realized I never really told you what she took out of it and what happened between them when they failed. What do you guys think about her drawing the positives out of such a traumatic event? Let me know.

I hope you guys liked the chapter! As always, please vote/comment/share/follow/message (both on here and on my Instagram [svts.writes]) for updates and announcements regarding my work! See you in the next chapter!

Love you guys,

Shree