Yeah...

I know you're probably confused.

Why would I, a fellow teammate of Natsu's, fantasize about something so romantic if I'm not willing to pursue such feelings?

Well, easy.

I can't.
It's gone.

All flushed away.

I told you before.

Today was supposed to be the day.

I had it all planned out.
For US.

Me and him.
Natsu and (Y/n).

But it'll never be.
My fantasy will never be.

You want to know why?

Because right now,
She's living it.

Not me.
Her.

Not Me.
Her.

NOT ME!
HER!

Some people might call me greedy.
Some may even call me selfish.

You know what I say to them?

Fuck off.

They don't know what I feel like.
They don't understand.

They've never had their heart stomped on by the man you love and a blonde bitch with fake tits.

They wouldn't understand.

I had walked to the guild today with my head held high, and a smile on my face. I was so lost in my own thoughts that I hadn't noticed the guild being significantly louder than they usually are.

I usually walk with Gray to the guild, but he's been sick a lot lately. I've tried to visit him, but Juvia is always there to shoo me away. I would've pushed past her, but both Juvia and Gray have been gone at the same time. It didn't take a scientist to figure out why they've been gone so much lately.
Gross.

I had placed by hands on the door and opened it with ease. I was definitely confused when I noticed that there was no usual table being flown at me as it usually does.

I look into the guild and see them surrounding something. I let my curiosity get the best of me, as I began to push and shove by other members to see what was going on. And boy do I wish I didn't.

There it was.

A scene that I'd never want to relive.

There was Natsu.
And there was Lucy.
Kissing.

I froze.

I couldn't move.
I couldn't breathe.

My best friend.
My guild mate.
My team mate.
My childhood crush.
Was now kissing the one girl in the guild I couldn't stand.

Lucy Heartfeel-a-bitch

I could give you a list of why I hated her existence.
She was annoying.
Obnoxious.
Self-Centered
Self- Obsorbed
Selfish
Greedy.
And an overall bitch.

How the hell could someone as great and loving as Natsu, dare put his lips on something so disgusting?

I stood there wide-eyed at the scend that had definitely gone on for too long. I wanted to move. I wanted to run. I wanted to cry. I wanted to scream. But none of that happened. The guild's roars had fallen on deaf ears. I stood in such a comatose state that I hadn't noticed the hand that waved back and forth in my face.

The hand took mine and lead me to a table towards to back of the guild, and sat me down in front of them. Finally blinking, and coming to my senses I saw my best friend Erza meeting my eyes. She plastered a sympathetic expression on and reached across the table to capture my hands (that I didn't notice were shaking) in hers.

It had taken me a moment to come back to reality, but once I did I snatched my hands away from hers, and cupped my hands over my mouth. I felt my vision begin to blur, with what one could only assume to be tears, and my body began to tremble.

Erza saw my breaking state, and hurriedly got up to sit beside me and pull my body into her chest. I noticed its softness, which lead me to believe that she wasn't wearing her usual protective plate of armour. I nuzzled into her breasts as an attempt to hide the tears that had definitely threatened to fall.

I felt her hands gently pat and smooth my (h/c) locks as an attempt to calm my shaking form, but the small gesture did nothing to help my chest's contriction and my heart's aching.

I tried my best to hold back the sobs, but I doubt they were even audible through the guild's chaotic roars.

"What took so long!?"

"You two are so cute together!"

"I call bridesmaid!"

"Use protection!"

They'd shout.

Those were meant for me.
For us.
Me and Natsu.
(Y/n) and Natsu.

Erza would notice my body tense at their words, and proceed to wrap her arms me, whispering small words of encouragement. Very few people knew of my feeling for the pyro-maniac. Those people consisted of Erza, Gray, Mira, and Carla.

It's funny though.
Carla doesn't even like me. She tries her best to shield Wendy away from me, for a reason I don't know the answer to.

I'd be drowning in my head as I sought out the answer for why Natsu chose her over me. And that answer was never made clear. My thoughts would be cut off as I hear his voice break through my mental barrier.

"C'mon Luce! I've got a really nice place I wanna take you! It's got an amazing view!" He shouted towards the blonde before grabbing her hand, pushing through the crowd, and bursting through the guild's doors.

'Amazing view?' I contemplate, ' He's not talking about our spot is he?' I question myself mentally as I pondered the idea. 'Natsu doesn't know any other views. He told me himself that our spot was the first he's ever seen in Fiore.' I felt my heart clench at the fact that Natsu is bringing that bitch to our spot.

'It was ours! Not hers!
She shouldn't be there!' I scream and panic mentally at the thought of her stepping foot on our sacred grounds.

Erza tapped my shoulder, and I peeked up at her while removing my face from her now dampened shirt to look at her velvety chocolate eyes.

"I must go check on Master. He decided to challenge Cana to a drinking contest a few minutes ago and he's not moving. Allow me to go check on him, and when I come back you can come to my dorm with me. I don't want to leave you alone." Erza finishes with a worried expression and a voice laced with concern.

I slowly nodded my head and allowed her to unravel herself from me to go check on Gramps. I hastily did my best to wipe my tears of the tears that were surely noticeable, but I knew that it would do nothing to hide my puffy red eyes.

Now that Erza was gone, I could feel the difference in my skin. It felt hot and clamy. My body had stopped convulsing, but it still held a slight tremble. My chest ached and felt constricted, making it slightly difficult to breathe, and my throat had become dry and unseasonably itchy.

My overall atmosphere had felt different, almost empty. I had stifled a few coughs into my elbow, and did my best to ignore the itchy feeling in ny throat. Is this what I broken heart feels like? I know it's supposed to hurt your mind and heart, but not your throat and chest.

I'd be lost in my thoughts, until a familiar silver-haired woman came, grabbed my arms, and yanked me out of my seat and began to spin me in a circle. I was so confused, dizzy, and slightly nauseous at the overall attack, but for some reason I'd be too weak to so anything about it.

"Why aren't you as excited as I am!? Natsu and Lucy are finally together!!" Mira screamed as she was overflowing with excitement and beamed with completion.

That was it.
That was my breaking point.

I abruptly stop our spinning cycle and shoved Mira away from me in an act of violence I thought I'd never inflict on her. She's stumble backwards before catching herself, and look at me with eyes full of disbelief and sorrow.

The act would catch a few member's attention, but not many. My cold (e/c) would stare back at her shocked navy ones in an unintended stare-down.

She'd regain her posture, and take small steps toward me before hesitantly taking my hands in hers. I flinched at the light contact, but didn't retract them as I felt the slightest pang of guilt strike me.

"C-can you...come with me?" Mira asked in a soft caring voice in sn attempt not to get shoved again. I hesitated before nodding my head, and letting her lead me to the far side of the guild where there wasn't that many people.

"Are you ok?" She asks in a soft yet caring voice. She took my silence as an answer, and continued to speak. "Is this about Nastu?" She asks another question. I simply fold my arms and look towards my feet. "Why are you so upset? They're just dating. You should be as happy as the rest of us. Even Wendy and Erza were happy for them before you came amd killed Erza' s mood. Can you please try not to be such a drag? Just this once?" She states in her still sweet and calm voice, yet her words pierced my heart like a knife.

How the hell could she say that? "You knew I loved him." I croaked out. I tried to speak through my short breathes and itchy throat. Not because I've been crying, but the fact that I've been fighting the earge to cough dead in her face.

"Yeah, I know but," she stops mid-sentence to stop and contemplate her words wisely. I could see the gears churning in her head as she tried to sift through her options, as an attempt to not hurt my feelings anymore than she already has," it's just that I couldn't see you two together." She began. " I mean yeah, you two had a few cute moments together here and there, but that's all they were. Moments." She finished. I could tell that she wasn't trying to hurt my feelings, but yet she meant every words that passed her lips. I've had enough.

Coughing into my elbow once more, I leave Mira there to sit there and watch me leave. I didn't want to be here anymore. I didn't want to stand here and celebrate someone else's happiness that could've been my own.

So I began to ignoring people's calls and attempts to get me to stay and pushed through the crowd of bustling members. I push the two doors open and I'm immediately met with two familiar charcoal eyes and black/ navy hair.

Two my left was another familiar woman with blue hair and pale, pasty skin. The woman was clinging to the man's arm as if it was air itself. Not dwelling on them too long, I shove past them both and begin to walk back to my dorm.

Before I made merely 3 steps the man had abruptly grabbed my wrist, stopping me in my tracks. The small gesture didn't go unnoticed by the blue-haired woman, as I could feel her fiery gaze burning into my skull.

"Hey (N/n). You okay?" Gray asks, the concern dripping from his voice. Once he got silence in return his grip on my wrist tightened, but not to the point to where it began painful. He took a deep breathe and repeated the same question as before.

Swallowing the bile that decided to creep up my throat, and trying to blink away the tears that had threatened to fall, I muttered a few words that I'd never want to repeat again.

"There's a new couple at the guild. You should welcome them." I croaked out as my voice began to break. I felt Gray's body tense and his grip falter giving me the perfect chance to run. I ripped my wrist from his hold and began to bolt towards my dorm room.

I could most definitely hear Gray's shouts and pleads, but I heard no footsteps behind me, signalling to me that maybe Juvia had a firm grip on him, keeping him in place.

I ran through busy streets of Magnolia, tripping, shoving, and pushing past those in my way while muttering small apologises here and there.

Upon finally arriving at FairyHills, I stumbled inside the hallways in a panting frenzy. 'The hell? I've never lost stamina so fast. What the hell is wrong with me?' I pondered. As a finally caught my breathe, I began to cough erratically.

My lungs had felt constricted, and my hands began to shake as I stumbled to find the key to unlock my door. Finally stumbling in, I collapse on living room floor and begin to cough and hack as the itchiness in my throat grew worse. I knew for sure that I was sick now.

I continued to cough and hack on the floor as an unexpected pain shot through my throat, causing me to release a pained whimper. I'm most definitely sure that vomit isn't supposed to hurt. I could feel the bile resting the back of my throat, threatening to stain my carpet. With a finally choke and gag, my body hunched over and spewed the contents of my throat onto my new carpet. Lucky me.

Blinking away the tears in my eyes (that I didn't know were there), I stare at my ceiling in an attempt to avoid staring at the disgusting obmination that is surely staining my carpet.

Damnit...

I had the most confusing taste linguring on my tastebuds that had me questioning what I ate at the guild. It was earthy and refreshing, yet it had an overwhelming metallic taste to it. And now that I think about it, the air isn't tainted with a rancid vomit smell, but rather more earth and rusty metal. Scrunching my brows in frustation, I crane my neck downwards to see what this was all about.

And there they were.

In all their bloody glory.

Instead of vomit staining my carpet, there was something that lie more tedious in its place.

Lying in front of me was a pile of yellow and white flower petals. Decorated and stained in hefty blots of crimson.
~~