We followed the news about the California Supreme Court's decision to recognize same-sex marriage by stating that a previous Proposition was unconstitutional (Google Proposition 22 2004). It was landmark. It rivaled Roe vs. Wade. It would change the world as we knew it. It would change us and our relationships with those around us.

The day the Court ruled, and we got the amazing news, we were elated to say the least. We pumped our fists in the air, we hugged, we kissed. Finally, change was in the works.

The next day, the first legal same-sex marriages commenced. It was amazing! The LGBTQ+ community, our community would no long be barred from the civil act of drawing a contract between each other that said, in legal terms, we wanted to share everything with one another.

The oppressors wouldn't stay quiet for long. Shortly after the Court ruling, Proposition 8 emerged. It wanted to define marriage as one man and one woman. Apparently the word "marriage" needed to be defined because it wasn't clear to us upstarts that we weren't included in that definition. It was a sacred word bestowed upon us lowly Humans by the misogynistic God of Christian lore.

The introduction of Prop 8 into the voting field created a small window in which legal, same-sex marriages would be conducted. There was a chance that the proposition could pass and the marriages would stop or perhaps be overturned. That brought up a question for my wife and myself. Would we get married - again?

Here's a fun fact; my wife and I had been through two ceremonies already. A legal ceremony would be number three. What the hell? Two ceremonies? Why? What a fantastic question!

We met through our love of a TV series - online - because we both wrote fanfiction. Today that's a boring-ass story. So many people meet like that. What the hell is so special about it? Back in the late 1990s and early 2000s, there was not a huge internet dating presence like there is now. In fact, you were considered weird if you dated someone you met online. There was a stigma, like getting a tattoo in the '50s. It just wasn't done by respectable people who didn't want it to be seen as desperate. But we did meet online, and neither of us was desperate nor were we looking for a romantic relationship. We both fell hard for each other though.

A little over a year after meeting, a convention for the TV show came, and we decided to go. Then we discussed marriage. I don't remember how the subject came up, but we started talking about how the show had brought us together. We gathered a few friends, got someone to officiant, and we had a domestic partnership ceremony in our hotel room. We even filled out legal domestic partner documents.

Our wider base of friends and our family got pretty mad they weren't invited. So we had another ceremony on the same day a year later. It was beautiful. I cried. I'm a crier.

Number three. I wasn't thrilled about it. Ceremonies are exhausting work. I didn't want to do it again.

Then my wife said, "If we get legally married now, if Prop 8 passes, we can join in fighting it. We have to do this for all those people who can't get married."

I love her so much!

It wasn't about us. It was about fighting for the others who couldn't or wouldn't fight for themselves. Our legal marriage would be a huge middle finger to everyone who said we didn't have the same legal right to marry as men and women did. I'm all about flipping off the established rules of exclusion. At that moment, I was in.

One more time, we gathered some friends and family, stood in front of each other, and vowed to love one another for the rest of our lives. The first two times, we were fresh into our relationship. This time, we had several years under our belts, and we still felt as in love that day as we ever had. The day wasn't for us, which made it all the more special.

The story doesn't end there. We decided to send out announcements of our legal marriage as a way to show that there were real people's lives attracted to voting for Prop 8. The blowback was almost immediate.

My family and I stood on opposite sides of the issue. I'd always had a good relationship with them. We were very close - we are very close. My family loves me, I have no doubts. That is what made it hurt so much. For five years, there was strife with my family because of it. It took almost losing my older brother to a hit-and-run driver for the issues to be resolved. Nothing seemed to matter as much as being with my family. The bottom line is that it started a dialogue that wouldn't have happened if we didn't legally get married.

My wife and I have now been married nearly 20 years - 12 legally. Prop 8 passed but was overturned through legal actions.

For those individuals who are still battling for the freedom to be who they are and love who they love, the war is never over. It is through small and big deeds that change comes to the wold. It's important to never give up. Never back down. You are loved and supported by a myriad of other, like-minded people.

Together we are warriors.