The orange street light peers in the dark room, creating ghostly shadows on the opposite wall with the creaking and rotation of the ceiling fan. As I lay on my back, I look closely at the shapes made. The flickering distracts me from my chain of thoughts. I pick up the cell phone from the bedside table and glance at it. The time is only dragged to twelve. I clutch my covers tight, wincing inside. The time is not moving fast and the sleep will not come yet.

With renewed will, I move to one side, closer to Sakshi, deep in slumber. After appreciating beautiful form, I pull her closer and close my eyes. And I realize instantly that it is much worse. Before my closed lids, the flashback run like some kind of movie, a depressing one. Last twelve years of my life run past, like blurry shadows twisting in between the scenes. I go in and out of my sleep, I see the past and then feel the warmth of Sakshi. In between, I remember the jungle story I told her before she slept. The Beautiful Princess and her adventures in a jungle, trying to live all by herself, considering herself old enough. A made up story. It is better that she learns it.

In the early morning hours, I wake up with a start. Through the strained eyes, I see out of the window, through the maze of old buildings, a purplish light on the horizon. I move out of the bed and go towards the kitchen with heavy footsteps. I put the water to heat and notice Raja awake, staring at the balcony with empty eyes. I go to him, pats his back for a while. He needs a bath. But then it can wait another day. I feed him last night's roti soaked in a curry and mechanically complete the morning rituals. The clock ticks by.

We wait in the hallway in silence ready to leave, with Raja at our feet, licking his paws methodically. The taxi arrives at ten, and I lead Sakshi to the unknown. While the trees blur past us, we reach the court, much like my second home. Through the troubled souls, we reach the footsteps of the old stone architecture and sit under the cool shadow of peepal tree. Sameerji will arrive soon and the trial will begin.

I lift my gaze across the steps, a familiar figure stands there with a callous indifference. A tremor passes through my body. The man in a blue shirt was the reason of agonising twelve years of my life, my youth butchered by his maleness. He stands there with such an inhuman form that I want to spat on him.

I look at Sakshi and control the sobs risen in my throat. It chokes me seeing my little girl, the remorse I have, her not having a better life. It is hard to live with. The lines of a healed wound still linger on her forehead, the mark of physical abuse. Even at ten, she looks so grown up, perhaps ready to deal with what was to come for her. She doesn't look at her father but draws circles on the soil by a stray twig.

The air is unnaturally chilled, blowing through the peepal leaves, appearing like clapping. The sound is soon heard across the street, Sameerji arrives on his old scooter with a square bag on his shoulder. He smiles cheerfully, flicking his grown hair out of his forehead.

"Avantika ji, Sakshi beta," he greets in his drab voice and sits beside us on the step, fishing out papers from his bag.

He leans in, and starts in a hushed tone, "I had a word with the judge the day before yesterday. I am hoping the judgement will be in our favour. Haven't I told you? There is no need to worry when Bagde is your attorney. Bagde makes everything right. Didn't I tell you?" I nod politely, as this was not the first time I heard this. But with my limited earning, this was all I could afford. Till now, we went through hundreds of court sessions spanning exactly five years and eight months, but the evidence was insufficient for them to grant me the divorce, robbing me off my saving altogether.

As the time strikes eleven fifteen, we enter the dim light courtroom, sitting opposite to my husband and his brother. The proceeding goes on, as the judge, a fifty-seven-year-old lady settles on the high chair. I listen with acute earnestness as Sameer ji speaks.

"As I told your honours before, the petitioner not only abused the respondent both mentally and physically but denied her money for their daughter's school fees. His allegation against the respondent was baseless and deeply humiliating. Vivek Patkar never had an intimate relationship with the respondent. There is absolutely no proof for it. It has been already established in the court that he moved to Delhi seven years ago and he only interacted with the respondent on the phone, which I had already produced the details of. There it is evident that she scarcely called Mr. Vivek. On another note, Mrs. Avantika Kripe alleged her husband of domestic violence, verbal, physical and economical and filed a counter petition for divorce under section 13 (1-A) HMA on 12th sept, 2013. We produced the evidence and recorded witnesses' statements. We, hereby, request the divorce be granted and the child custody wholly taken to mother's care."

While all this was going on in the background, I reflect on my last few years. How the circumstances change with time, it's even unpredictable. How I was before seven years, and how I am today, are completely different women. One thing was clear, I refuse to be run by the circumstances. I am the creator and shaper of my own destiny. All of us live with our past. All of us allow it to shape our future. But some of us know how to shrug the past. I think that is who I am. I am going to be the phoenix risen from the ashes.

I need not have his love to make me happy, contented. I don't need anybody's sympathy, or approval or permission anymore. I will live my life on my terms at whatever price. And that's what I am going to imbibe on Sakshi, to be independent, courageous and most importantly strong in this male patriarchal society. To strive for the impossible dreams, to drown in a passion and live every second of the life, that is so precious.

They ask me questions again, I answer assertively. I want Sakshi to be completely free of the abusive man I married. I give all I have to persuade them not to give him any visitation rights. There are other things I am ready to compromise on, alimony and the inheritance share. All I want is a separate life for my baby and me.

I know it is not an easy task. How can it be? When women still manacled by the obsolete traditions and parochial mindset. I have been talking to single mothers for a year now. They have a wonderful group of women, who are leading their life, taking on challenges and not getting discouraged when people treat them with impudence. Practically every day, they have been looked down upon, denied their dignity. Be it the neighbours or the school or the office. Everywhere they go, they are judged, or worse pitied with no empathy. When they go back to work, men look at them differently. Amidst of this society, women will have to survive and be happy.

Somehow, the lady justice could get my position, as the judgement is finally read out after the long hearing. My heart fills with a hope as every word is spoken aloud. My girl will be safe now. All the plans I laid out will work, starting life fresh.

"Madam ji, it was nice meeting you and fighting for you. One of these days, people need to hear your story," Bagde says, finally, at the door of the courthouse.

"I am thankful to you," I reply, smiling. "I had lost the hope!"

"I told you, didn't I? Bagde will take care of everything!" he repeats, jerking his head upwards, proudly.

I shake his hesitant hands and descend the stairs with Sakshi, who was awfully silent. "Beta, are you okay?"

"Yes, mumma," she says.

I can feel her trembling tone. I kneel and cup her face. "Beta, no need to worry. Mumma will take care of everything. That man can never harm you, or us again."

With her pouty lips, she nods.

"Avantika?" A voice calls.

I raise my gaze and see Kartik standing with his brother by his side. "What do you want?" I ask, standing up.

"You will not survive a single day without my support!"

"You want to bet on that?" I challenge, with my hands crossed in front of my chest.

"I want my dog back!"

"What for? To torture him when you feel like it?"

"He is my dog," he snorts.

"He was," I retort and flinch inside remembering an incident when he had poked a heated metal rod on Raja's back, and he hauled with his legs trembling and Sakshi crying on his side.

He gauges my face and smirks. "You will definitely go back to your lover, won't you?"

"Watch your words, you pervert!" I fume, pressing Sakshi closer, covering her ear with my palm.

"You bitch! Don't I know of your affair? You fooled everyone. But you can't fool me!" he spat, with a familiar shadow of violence streak in his bloodshot eyes.

"You are delusional. And you don't get to speak with me anymore. I will call the police!"

He instinctively takes a step back and notices a constable coming in our direction. He uses the usual swear words before striding across the street. His brother gives an apologetic shrug and follows him out. A weight shifts from my heart. A feeling of triumph spreads in me, hoping never to cross his path again.

I clutch Sakshi's hand tighter and stroll by the sidewalk, towards apparently nothing. Round the next corner, I spot her favourite ice-cream parlour. A small smile plays around her mouth, as we walk in the direction.

"Bhaiyya, two chocolate cones please," I ask the vendor and sit on a wooden bench in front of his counter. The air seems fresh, with a stream of the sound of cars passing by.

As we indulge in the cold sweet flavour, Sakshi asks me questions about our future. And I tell her with full vigour, just like the story of the Princess and her adventures in the jungle. It would be our adventure in a new city. She listens but doesn't show as much as interest as she had shown for the story. It is what I expected. She will fly under my wings.

We stroll in a garden, after a while. I watch her play the swing with utmost elation. She tries to enjoy the playtime while glancing at the other kids. I knew inside she is not relating to them, maybe not counting herself in them. A feeling of left out. But she will learn to live without those luxuries, eventually. She will have me.

It's dark when we finally come home. Raja is happy to see us, pouncing on Sakshi and licking her leg. I make the dinner, humming a tune I couldn't place. Maybe it was from an old classic movie. We eat and discuss the future plans again. When I finally tuck her in the bed, I get down on the floor, put on the night lamp and starts to scribble the to-do list. After I jot down five points, my phone buzzes. I look at the number with mixed feelings. It was a quarter to twelve already.

"Hello?" Vivek says on the other end of the line.

"Hello Vivek," I respond.

"How was the hearing?" he asks, like every other time he called to check on me.

I tell him the details, devoid of emotions, though with a subtlety of happiness in my tone.

"Oh Avani, I am so happy for both of you!" he says with a compassion. He is indeed a good man in the lot. A plain simple man, who was a good friend all along.

Then I tell him about our future plans, doing everything from scratch.

He says after few moments. "Won't you consider my offer?" His tone breathless.

"No," I reply, simply. "You don't need to offer me a marriage. I can do this alone."

"It doesn't mean you should," he retorts. "Besides, I want nothing but a sound life for you and Sakshi. You are my best friend."

"Then let me be. Vivek, today I am born again. And I know where to go from here. I understand you mean well. But this is my chance to live my life as I wish, to raise Sakshi to be strong and brave. And I can't wait to spread my wings and fly. Everything else will just be fine. I will always cherish your moral support."

And then he says nothing, probably smiling on the other end. I look at Sakshi and smile. This is just the start, a life full of adventures, challenges, and independence.

The End