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We barely slept the night before visiting Jeongin.
It gave us a strange sense of déjà vu—
how we once stayed up till midnight to wish him a happy birthday,
how we'd watched a movie together the night before it all happened.
But this time, we just lay in bed, too sad to do anything.
Too heavy, too quiet.

That emptiness—that dull ache in our chest—it wasn't something that would go away easily.

Jeongin's parents arrived early, around 9 a.m.
His mother wore her usual warm smile,
but there was something different in her eyes— a quiet sorrow that mirrored ours.
His father glanced at us, taking in our anxious expressions. "Ready to go?" he asked.

We nodded, unable to speak.

They nodded back, silent, and led us to the car.
The drive to the cemetery was steeped in a heavy stillness.
Each passing minute dragged us closer to where Jeongin lay.

Seungmin sat in the backseat, fists clenched tightly in his lap.
He kept taking deep breaths, trying to ground himself.
I gently held his hand, prying his fingers open until he relaxed,
and soon enough, our hands were intertwined.

Outside the window, the familiar rows of gravestones stretched endlessly.
The moment the car slowed to a halt, my heartbeat quickened.

Aunty Yang turned around, her eyes filled with both compassion and grief.
"We're here," she said softly. "I know it's a lot. We can stay in the car for a while, if you need to."

After a brief silence, Seungmin looked up. His voice was barely a whisper. "No... we can get out. I—we can do this."

I gave him a sad smile and nodded. Sitting in the car any longer would only drag out the ache.

We stopped by a flower shop on the way in.
Seungmin picked pink roses. I chose white ones.
Purity, youth, innocence. Goodbye.

We continued walking toward the grave, the flowers trembling slightly in our hands.
Each step felt heavier, the weight of seven years pressing down on our shoulders.

Seungmin looked jittery, his fingers brushing against mine.
So we walked hand-in-hand.
Honestly, I needed it just as much as he did.

"Where is he?" I asked. My memories of this place were hazy, like a dream I was trying to wake from.

"This way. It's right ahead," Aunty Yang said, already walking ahead.
She knew exactly where he was—she had visited many times before.

We followed behind her, hearts pounding.
The path seemed too long.
Too quiet.
Too real. 

Then we saw it. Jeongin's gravestone.

All the emotions we'd buried so deeply began to rise,
raw and unfiltered. It hit like a punch in the gut. We froze.

His name was etched into the stone.
His birth date.
His death date.
A message below it:
"Our sunshine, our light, you will forever be missed."

It was as if time itself had stopped.

Seungmin let go of my hand and walked slowly toward the grave.
Every step was hesitant.
Every breath, shallow.

And then, in a voice that barely carried, he spoke. "Jeongin..."

The sound of his name brought a rush of memories.
It almost felt like he was there—just around the corner, waiting.
Like if we called again, he might answer.

But the only thing between us now
was six feet of silence.

Six feet too deep.

The date on the gravestone.

February 8, 2005 – February 8, 2016.

The same date.

His birthday. And the day he died.

It was cruel, wasn't it?
That the day we used to celebrate his life became the day we mourned his absence.

We knelt together, hesitant to touch the plaque. But when we did, it was cold.

Still, we kept our hands there—because it was the closest we could get.

"Long time no see, Jeongin. Have you been doing well?" He tried to sound lighthearted. But his trembling voice gave him away.

The question lingered in the air, unanswered.
The silence echoed.

"If you can hear this... I'm sorry. So, so sorry.
For coming so late. For not saying goodbye properly.
I hope you know we love you. We always will."

I gently waved my hand over the gravestone.
"I got you white roses, you know? They mean innocence, youth, and... goodbye. I thought it fit.
You never really got a goodbye, did you?"

I wiped away a tear.

"Seungmin came too. He was scared... but he missed you."

He swallowed hard, visibly shaking beside me.
I rubbed his back gently.

"It's okay to cry. Say it out loud. It helps," I whispered.

He took a moment, then finally began.

"Jeongin... I don't even know where to start. So much has happened. You've missed so much. I hope you weren't alone all this time..." His voice broke.

"We tried to follow our dreams, remember?
I got into law school."
"And I passed my second audition."

"I keep thinking about how much you wanted to be a teacher. You would've been the best."

"It's been seven years... I still expect to see you when I wake up.
Like all of this is some terrible dream."

The tears fell freely now.

"I miss you. I miss your laugh, your smile... your stupid jokes. Everything."

"I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough. I didn't save you."

His fists clenched again, digging into his skin.
I held his hand to stop him.
He held onto mine instead, sobbing into his other palm.

"Don't be mad at us," I whispered. "We're just lost without you."

"I wish... I wish I told you how much we loved you. How grateful we were. I wish we said goodbye properly..."

"I wish I could turn back time. We want you back, Jeongin. Even for one more day."

We sat in silence, the wind brushing gently past.
The only sound was our breathing and the occasional sniffle. Then Seungmin said quietly,
"I still keep hoping he'll come running out through those gates and hug us like before..."

"You hear that, Jeongin? You better run to us the next time you see us," I added, forcing a small smile. "Even if it's only in the afterlife."

He smiled faintly at that.

"Happy 19th, by the way. You always whined that it wasn't fair we turned older before you. Then you'd brag once it was your turn."

"We still treated you like a kid," Seungmin chuckled.

The memory brought a brief warmth to our aching hearts.
We could still picture his pout.
The way he'd sulk, but secretly love the attention.

"Remember third grade?
Those jerks used to steal your milk cartons.
You never fought back—you were too kind for that."

"But then we scared them off."
Seungmin's voice softened.

"You were always too violent when it came to protecting friends," I laughed gently.

"We were eight, and nothing felt like a big deal. You, me, Seungmin...we forgot all about it by the next day."

"After that, it was all peaceful. Movie nights. Sleepovers. Games. Laughter."

Our smiles widened with the memories.
Vivid, but distant.
So full of life.
So full of Jeongin.

"I'm glad you were happy, Jeongin," I whispered, voice soft as the wind. "You had a good life. You were surrounded by so much love—your parents... and us."

Seungmin nodded beside me, a small, bittersweet smile tugging at his lips.
"You deserved all the happiness in the world," he said. "And I'm glad you found it, even if it wasn't long enough."

I swallowed hard as my throat tightened. "We promise we'll keep visiting. We won't stop. Never."

Tears pricked the corners of my eyes again. Seungmin looked at me, his gaze equally glassy, and nodded silently. He understood. Coming here, remembering Jeongin—this was how we'd carry him forward.

He reached out and gently squeezed my hand.

"We love you, and we miss you," he said.

"Happy birthday, Jeongin."
We said it together, a soft sob escaping with the words.

For a long while, we just sat in silence, staring into the distance.
It was only when we saw Mr. and Mrs. Yang approaching that we realized they'd stepped away to give us some privacy.

"Did that help?" Mr. Yang asked gently.

"A little," I said, offering a small smile. "It's bittersweet... but it's okay. We can take it."

Seungmin turned toward them and nodded in quiet gratitude. "Thank you... for giving us that time."

"We'll take a moment, meet you back at the car, alright?" Mrs. Yang asked.

"Take all the time you need," I said. "We can wait for you."

Seungmin gave her a grateful smile. Together, we turned back to the grave one last time. We laid down the flowers gently at the base of the stone, our fingers lingering as we traced Jeongin's name.

Seungmin whispered, voice barely audible.
"Bye, Jeongin... for now."

"We'll be back soon," I added. "We'll be waiting to see you again."

We kept looking for a while longer—until our necks couldn't turn any farther and we had to let go. We walked back to the car in silence, the wind brushing gently past us.

We didn't get in right away. Just stood there in the cool breeze, not ready to leave yet.

"Did it help?" Seungmin asked quietly.

"Huh?" I turned, still halfway lost in thought.

"Coming here... did it make you feel better?"

"Yeah. It did. I think I needed to prove to myself I was strong enough to visit him like this."

Seungmin raised an eyebrow. "Says the person who couldn't finish a sentence without crying."

I let out a laugh through my tears. "Come on, be nice to me. It was our first time—"

I stopped, the words catching in my throat. First time since... since we buried him.
And somehow that felt too heavy to say out loud, even now.

"It's okay," Seungmin said gently. "You can say it. We buried him. It happened. And now we've seen it again... it's real."

"Yeah. It is. And somehow, I do feel better. Relieved, in a strange way."

"Like... a sad kind of relief?" he asked.

I nodded. "Exactly. I'm still heartbroken he's not here... but it felt good to finally say the things we've been holding in. And for what it's worth—you did good too."

He chuckled softly. "I hope Jeongin thinks so too."

"I think he does," I said. "Wherever he is."

"We'll always miss him," Seungmin murmured. "But we have each other. And we have our memories. I think... he'd want us to be okay."

"We'll keep going," I said. "We'll carry him with us. He'd want us to live, really live."

"He'd definitely call us idiots if we didn't," Seungmin said with a small laugh. "Tell us to stop crying and go enjoy life."

"So let's do that," I said. "For him. And for us."

Seungmin turned to me, eyes searching mine with a seriousness that made me pause.

"Minji... answer my question again."

"What question?"

"Will we ever be okay?"

I looked at him—at everything we'd carried, everything we'd lost, and everything we still had.

"Yeah, Seungmin," I said, with a quiet certainty. "We'll do just fine."

THE END.

or is it?

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author's note : 

Woo hoo~ This was originally where I planned to end the book!
But... I couldn't resist adding a little romance—because let's be honest, it felt a little empty without it. 🥺💔

Rather than writing a whole separate sequel,
I've decided to continue the story right here with a time skip.
So stay tuned, and I hope you'll look forward to what comes next! <3