Guilt was the first thing that wrapped around me like a warm blanket. No matter how I took the situation in, I wasn't feeling any better.

I was here thinking that I might have a chance with Nick while he was obsessing over Robert? And the worst part was, I was flirting and kissing with the same Robert when my best friend showed a liking towards him?

"I heard you got a race coming up." Dad said, rolling his wheel chair towards the kitchen counter. "How have you been preparing?"

I shook my head coming back to the present.

I pulled together all my hair that had come off my bun and tied it together again. I switched off the kettle that had coffee in it, wiped my hands on the cloth that was kept on the fridge's handle and turned around plastering a smile at Dad.

"I'm going to be fine." I said, it was the same thing I was mumbling all day.

With everything going on, Calvin had called the other day telling me about a race that he had got me into. The date was not yet set and he said that I should be expecting his call in another two days.

"Dan says it might not be in the town." Dad said, settling in his usual space.

"Well, it's high time I travelled, don't you think?" I asked, not looking at him. I laid out the plates for the breakfast, lemon rice and salad, and took the seat next to Dad.

"You know it's not about roaming about. I'm being serious." Dad said, looking at me. "You cannot afford to lose."

"I know." I sighed.

There was lot at stake now and I wasn't sure if I was capable of it. Things had changed and I was not a school going kid anymore. For whatever time and whenever Calvin said, I had to up and go - no questions asked.

Thankfully, there was no contract this time. At least that was what Calvin told me on the call. I wouldn't be surprised if I was to find one in the next twenty four hours via an e-mail.

"So, tell me about your preparations." Dad mused as I served the rice equally on both of our plates. "May be I can give you some pointers."

I snorted.

"For starters, I'm getting conditioned." I said, twirling a spoon on the rice present on my plate. "Robert's been pushing me forward in building muscle strength."

"And jogging every morning." Dad continued, taking a spoon full of rice and placing it on his mouth.

I watched him with my mouth wide open. I had been jogging at an awful time of five in the morning for week now. I had made sure that Dad didn't know anything about it, since Robert was usually at my tow.

"You... have been watching?" I asked him, my face still not doing anything to conceal the shock that was thrown at me without any warning. "So, you were awake all this time?"

"Don't get me wrong, Scarlet." Dad said, putting his hand up in mock surrender. He wiped his mouth with a tissue and looked at me with amusement. "I've been catching that boy in our place for a long time now. Is anything going on between you two?"

"No." I said silently.

Well, I didn't know if there was something going on between us. We laughed, we kissed and cuddled together almost every night, but we never actually talked about it. It felt strange though. When it was Nick, I wanted to talk and make sure where we stood, but now I didn't want to find the answers.

To add to all my problems, Nick had confessed that he had liked Robert and had asked me to help him. For all I knew, Robert was perfectly straight, given all the track records of his previous flirts and coquette.

Robert was attractive young man, his strong demeanor hiding behind his lean body. With the bad boy reputation he had, he was sure to attract a few audience, but I hadn't expected Nick to be one of them.

"I know you are a grownup now, already eighteen." Dad said, bringing me back to present.

"You remembered my birthday?" I asked.

It was a day full of surprises indeed. It had been years since Dad remembered my birthday. "Yes, honey." Dad smiled. "I am not as dumb as I seem to be."

I kept quite, staring at my untouched contents on my plate.

"Tracks are not a good place." Dad said, looking at me. "It is not full of rainbows and unicorns. If you felt that way, then, it was only because they took a leverage on you thinking you are just a newbie."

That was what I was scared of. There was a lot more to learn in those tracks - not only in the matter of driving, but also legally. There were things that I didn't know and stuffs I didn't care. The line was too thin and I wondered what to choose.

"Robert is a good guy, I agree." Dad came back to the old topic. "And I also know that he's been staying nights under my roof."

Before things escalated further, I knew I had to veer the conversation. "Dad, it's not what you think..."

"Scarlet," Dad sighed. "I know you and I'm sure whatever it is, you won't put it on top of your priority list. At least for now. You are too young to let go everything for the sake of a boy."

"Dad..."

"I know, you are a big girl now and I don't get to say things in your life," Dad gave a sad smile. "But it's the old man's duty to tell you, right?"

"There's nothing going on between us." I clarified. My cheeks already flaming in having to talk such a embarrassing topic with him. "That's all I want to say."

"Okay, okay." Dad laughed. He had his own smile playing on his lips and I wondered what had happened.

"So, when you are going there? All the paper works have been done?" Dad asked.

"Calvin said there was no paper work." I wondered out loud. "Since I am eighteen, I am now legally an adult to participate in almost all racing events."

"Yes." Dad scratched his unshaven stubble in thinking. "But remember Scar, there's always a paper work."

"I think it is mostly to agree for a death warrant." I chuckled. "So that they won't be blamed for it."

"Scarlet!" Dad shouted at me, silencing me. "You know, how much I hate it when you make such statements."

I knew. "I'm sorry." I said sincerely.

"Don't you dare talk about it!" Dad scolded. "If that's the case, then I can talk to Cal and make sure that you are staying put here."

"No!" I cried. Though I had not initially liked being on a race team, especially because I wasn't consulted regarding it, it was growing on me.

The adrenaline rush, the wind and the lights fascinated me. The butterflies in my stomach gave me the thrill to win, just to get them settled down.

"I'll swear not to talk about it." I begged. "Please, don't do that."

Dad took a deep breath to get himself settled. "Anyway, were there any other races after the first one?"

"No." I said quietly. "This is the next one. Seems the first one gave me a break that I needed. I still don't know if it's a good thing."

"It is, sweetheart." Dad smiled, pushing his hair behind his head. "It just means that you're recognized. That also means you need a visiting card."

"Visiting card?" I asked perplexed.

When both of my parents were racing, I knew I had to become one among them, just to enjoy all the sidekicks they brought. I had grown up listening to their stories of luxury and adventure. 

But as mum passed away, I realized that, this field had a lot of potholes that my parents had excluded me from. The unsteady incomes, the haunting visions and the erratic damage that it brought to our own life. That was when I decided to squish my earlier dreams and settle for something that was predictable.

Fate was catching up with me and made it inevitable to say no to the same turf which I had once deserted.

"Yes!" Dad exclaimed. "It is a must. For someone who's growing up as a racer, you should have one."

"I'm hardly a racer, Dad." I laughed. "Isn't it what managers are there for?"

"Yeah," Dad rubbed his neck in agitation. "But, I personally want you to become an independent racer. I understand it gets tough out there, but that's the best advice your old man can give you."

"That means I need to find sponsors of my own?" I asked. "How in the hell will I be able to do that?"

"It all comes with interacting with other racers and attending their parties and stuffs." Dad shrugged. "Takes time, I know. But it's the best way."

"I think I should be under Calvin for a while." I muttered. After all, he had been doing those things for a living, I mean, he should be good at that. "Though I won't sign any contracts for more than six months, I'll still get a visiting card."

"Okay." Dad nodded his head. "That means you won't be changing your phone number and e-mail address in like forever."

"Yeah." I muttered dramatically. I kept the back of my palm on my forehead for more effect. "That was what I was afraid of."

Dad chuckled as I relaxed.

"Are all your tablets there? Your medicines?" I asked, taking a mouthful. "I will make a little purchase in the pharmacy when I reach home."

"Yeah," Dad rubbed his neck, smiling sheepishly at me. "I had actually forgotten to tell you about it. The bills for this month have come and considering we both are out of house for a long time, it is pretty high."

"Let me see," I wiped my hands and took the sheet of paper that was on the dining table. "The bills are lower than last month."

"Last month, I was at home and the television ran all day." Dad rolled his eyes.

"As if it doesn't run now." I teased.

Dad laughed. "Come on, kid." He said. "That's my only type of entertainment."

"Don't worry, I'll take care of it." I gestured towards bill and kept it back in its place, promising myself not to forget about it when I left home.

"My baby girl has grown up so much in two months." Dad said with a sad smile on his face. "When it should have been me tackling those bills, you..."

"Dad," I sighed. I didn't want his guilt to be piled up on everything that I was going through right now.

"Sorry, sorry." He muttered, wiping his tears. "All I want now is your happiness, sweetheart. Whether you win the race or that racer's heart."

"Dad!"

---

I had started an aversion for English classes. It was not because I didn't like the language, but because I was sharing it with one of the most popular kids in school, who possibly had a crush on me.

Brian Thompson was already at his desk, tapping his pencil on the notebook that was sprawled in front of him. As soon as he saw me approach the class, his face lit up and he smiled widely at me, waving his hand up in the air.

There were thousands of girls who would have swooned at this reaction, especially from this guy. But I was more than embarrassed. I was not only uncomfortable with his gesture, but it also made me the victim of the other girls' deathly stares.

Looking at him, I knew he didn't remember anything from the night that he had misbehaved. Probably he was too drunk to even register if that was me who was standing and dancing in those dim lights.

"Hey, Scar." He said, opening the desk next to him, silently pointing me to sit next to him.

I nodded at him with a tight smile, not wanting to fall for his charms again. Though he was an attractive guy with brown locks and a deep blue eye, he didn't interest me. It was probably because I had heard stories about him from James or because I had kept my eyes on Nick, I didn't know.

"Sit here." Brian said, as I took on of the seats that was far behind the board. "It's much better from here."

"I'm good here, Brian." I gave him my tight-lipped smile again and turned towards my bag pretending to search for something. His gaze on me didn't waver and it made me turn back to him thinking what it was all about. "You said something?"

"Are you avoiding me?" He answered my question with his own. He walked towards my seat and stood in front of me. "I mean, you are simply ghosting on me ever since the game."

"Brian," I said, taking a deep breath. For one, I didn't like him the way he looked at me and ever since the party I didn't like him as a friend either. I wanted to tell him that the world didn't revolve around him and there were things that I had to do, but I opted for something subtle. "I was just busy."

"Ha! Sure, you were!" He said. "I saw you hanging out with Bert the other night and you say you are busy."

Was he really pulling out the jealousy card on me? For someone who had talked to me a couple of times, it was daring. He was acting as if I had cheated on him!

"I was." I gritted my teeth from shouting at him. The class hadn't started, and I hated it already. "As I told you, I had to take care of things."

"Of course, you did." He muttered. "Anyone with working eyes can see what things you are taking care of."

I was having a great time clinging to the tiny rays of peace which was still stuck with me. I took air in my mouth and blew it out through my nose – a calm technique I had taken over from Dad.

"Brian, you don't know what you are talking about." I said, looking away. "You are just crossing a line with me."

He shook his head in shock as if he wasn't expecting me to say things to him.

"What did you just say?" He asked, regaining his senses. He ran his fingers across his hair, trying to calm down. "What is better in him than me?"

My anger was growing at every ticking minute. I didn't want to stay subtle with him anymore. With his statements, I lost my cool.

"Oh, really?" I asked. I stood up, crossing my arms. "He's so much better actually. At least he doesn't grab my ass in public after pathetically getting drunk."

The class hadn't filled up, but the few students that remained had taken up their phones to capture this wonderful moment. Personally, I wanted it to be on record too, as a sick mode of entertainment for me.

He looked around, obvious to the attention we were getting. I stood my ground and raised one eye brow at him, challenging to talk more stupider as the time passed by. I could almost see the anger flare through his nose, breathing like a raged dragon.

"Well, we all know you are just fucking with him." He said. My skin pricked at his use of words just to keep himself above me. When he watched my expression, he was satisfied. "With all the convertible and stuffs, I'm sure you opened your legs wide the very next moment."

That was it. I lost every ounce of concord that had left with me. I had had comments thrown at me from time to time, but Brian's words hit me like a bullet. To think that I was okay in being friends with him, made me sick of myself.

As he gave a slow smirk, turning to the audience who had promptly taken out their camera phone already recording the scene unfolding in front of them, I raised my hand. My fist made contact with his clean shaven jaw followed by a loud gasp.

I could be a bitch when I wanted to.

He fell on the floor, not foreseeing my hard blow. My right hand ached from contacting his steel jaw, but the anger in me was still in full swing. He clutched the area where I had hit him, which had already turned a deep blueish in color, his eyes embarrassed about having the crowd now.

I bent towards him so that his hearing, if affected, was properly listening to what I had to say to him.

"I am not fucking with him." I said slowly, but clearly. "Even if I am, it's none of your fucking business."

With that I walked out of the class. The English classes could wait.

---

I went straight to the cafeteria, buying two bottles of cold water. I placed one on my right hand while another to cool my system. The cold liquid made my brain freeze, yet I emptied the bottle and crumpled the plastic cover before throwing it out to the trash.

How dare he make such comments on me?

"Scarlet!" I turned my head, obvious to the interruption of my thought process. My face probably was a mask of anger, hiding the devil beneath it.

The first though that occurred to me was that Brian was back with his other friends to teach me a lesson. The bitch mode that I was in, had still not changed and I was sure I would have tackled any guy who had come my way.

I turned around to see who it was. To my utter disbelief, it was Nick.

"Oh, my God!" He flinched back, looking at my icy behavior. I relaxed at his sight. "Scarlet, what happened, you okay?"

"Me?" I asked, a slight smile on my face – the first genuine one after the interactions. "I'm more than okay."

"God, I was scared." He put his hand on his frantically beating heart to slow it down.

"Don't you have classes?" I asked, wiping the perspiration that was formed.

"I had a free hour and I was at the drama class helping with the props." He said, coming close to me for inspection. "Someone there showed me the video."

It had already been viral? Cheers to the jobless kids out there, I was proud of them.

"So, how did you think my punch was?" I asked, taking a seat on the empty chair.

"It's not time to joke about." He lightly scolded. "Did, you know... anything happen before the video was shot?"

"We just talked." I muttered, looking away. "He was asking me why I was avoiding him. Was all the conversation caught in the video?"

"Apparently." Nick made a pained expression on his face. "I think Brian is trying put it down before it makes its way to the teachers."

I sighed.

"Lily called me, telling that she would be here as soon as her current classes were done." Nick informed. "James is probably beating up Brian for pulling such a stunt."

I rubbed my temples – the day's headache was already on its way.

"They are in the same team." I contemplated. "That is going to affect the games."

I fished for my phone in my bag and once it was confiscated, I dialed James number asking him to come over and help me. He obliged in the first try, not making me beg.

"Scarlet, what the hell is wrong with you?" A pink colored bag hit my head faster than those words reached me. My hair fell out from my trendy hairstyle and it made me look like I had just received a 230V shock. "Why do you go out finding trouble for yourself? Whatever you had wasn't enough for you?"

"Hey!" I cried, getting my hair style back in check.

"Lily, no." Nick shook his head. He pulled out a chair next to me and pointed at it for her to sit down. He took a seat next to her, still scared of what stunts I might pull.

"Didn't you see what he was accusing me of?" I leaned towards her. "He deserved more than just a small punch."

"Let me see you hand." She pulled my hand towards her for scrutiny. "What have you done to yourself?"

I smiled sheepishly and turned away. My right hand which had promptly delivered the punch was now red and aching.

Now, as I was calm with my head stuck in its place, the pain was crucial.

Taking in my ugly hand, Lily's eyes had turned compassionate. "Does it ache?" She ran her fingers gently across it.

I smirked. "It doesn't pain as much as Brian's face though."

"Shut up, Scar." She said, looking at me. though her eyes were furious with me, there was a layer of relief to know that I was okay, emotionally and physically. "It's not funny anymore."

"I'll go get something to wrap around it." Nick said and was off.

"Don't you dare get me those wrappings." I warned him. I didn't want to look like I broke my arm, especially when I had a race in few days. But Nick looked at me as if I had sprouted two heads. "An ointment perhaps?"

Nick nodded, a small smile in his face, satisfied that I had agreed with him without any argumentation.

"Is it worst out there?" I asked, avoiding Lily's eye contact, staring at my disheveled hand.

"No, they are waiting for their hero from war to return home." Lily snapped.

"Come on, Lil." I sighed.

"The video is going to hit into a million view by evening, if that's what you are asking." Lily muttered. "God, why did you have to hit him, Scar?" She asked when I remained silent. "You could have used all your colorful words without lifting your hands."

"It was just a spur of the moment." I muttered, shamefully.

I looked at her nervously, but she only nodded her head. "What if he does something to get back at you?"

"You don't listen to her blabber." James came to my rescue. He pulled a chair from the next table and put it in between us. He sat there with a bright smile on his face. "Brian won't go to that extent."

"And how do you know?" Lily asked. Though her anger had subsided after his presence, she still didn't agree with him.

"As soon as I heard about it, I wanted to smash Brian's face." James stated, as a matter of fact.

"My hero." I said, earning an eye roll from Lily.

"But I was in there for surprise. Scar had already taken care of things." James said with pride in his eyes. "His jaw was bulged, and he looked like a clown. Looking at him, all my anger subsided replaced by laughter."

"What if he gets her expelled?" Lily asked, angry with James as he was supporting me.

"That's not going to happen." Nick said, as he reached our table while he uncoiled the cap of the medicine. Ever so gently he put the cold jelly on my hand, making sure that he didn't hurt me in the process. "Brian's working with his tech friends to get the video down. I heard them talk when I was getting this."

"It's all settled then. Scar is okay and the asswipe learnt some lesson." James said, leaning back on his seat. "When have you ever done something like that?" He directed his question at Lily and gave her a teasing smile.

She leaned closer to him. Without warning, she pulled his collar to her. "Well, I've people to do all the dirty work for me, don't I?"

Looking at them flirt, made me remember Robert more than before and suddenly I wondered what he had to say for this new turn of events.