Alignment:
(noun)
A position of agreement or alliance.

When my mother had passed away, I had been depressed and there was no one to talk to. Dad always made sure that he spent a lot of time in the tracks to get rid of those memories that haunted him. Lily and I were not so close back then and there was nothing I could do to get those feelings out.

I was angry that there was no one who thought about me and what I felt. I hated everyone and I stopped talking to those few people who talked to me.

A week after my mother's death, I had gone to the head master and had asked if I could enroll for shooting - a perfect way to vent out my hatred and anger. With the knowledge of my mother, the teacher was more than happy to let me join to any team if I had asked.

Being the angry bird that I was, I held the shooting bow and put all my frustration in it to reach it to the red dot few meters away from me. But each time it failed and stuck to the trees behind it.

That was when I was introduced to the word, alignment.

It is a position where one stands to make sure that everything seems to be in line. Even though I hadn't understood what the word implied back when my teacher had blabbered on about it for an hour, tonight everything was making sense.

There are certain times when an alignment is necessary to see things clearly. Though the notions for it seem to be right next to us, the alignment position will let us be blind to it. Only when we stand in line we realize what we had been missing all this time.

A little change in position, or a change in the point of view, or a distant memory, or wisdom - is all it takes. In my case it was a small confession. It made me look at things differently and shattered my confidence level.

How am I ever supposed to like a guy in future without doubting his likes and dislikes?

I sat staring at the white walls thinking about how I had not seen the hints that were lying just in front of me all this time.

As soon as I had him utter those words, my world had fallen apart. I was embarrassed and ashamed of myself rather than anyone else. I had made my point clear to almost everyone that I liked Nick Everest just to know that he not only dislikes me but also bats for a different team altogether.

I excused myself and walked home in my famous walk of shame and locked myself in my room, recreating the events that happened between the two of us which would at least let me know that something was definitely up. But I found none. Hell, we were flirting all the time. If he was gay, why the hell was he flirting with me and purposefully leading me on?

My phone beeped for the umpteenth time.

I sighed and took the call. Ever since my eloping, I had switched of my phone and had practically shut off everyone from school. I had spent the whole night contemplating why and how I had missed those subtle hints. I had even taken it to the next level and had bunked school the next day just for the heck of it. I made breakfast for Dad and waved him bye and sat watching the white wall in my room wondering what the fuck happened to my life just in a blink of an eye.

"Where the hell are you?" A familiar voice came booming through the phone. I held it a litter further away from my ear not letting it suffer for my misfortunes.

"Monica?" I asked surprised.

Did I mention that I had bunked job along with my school too?

"At least you are alive!" She said. "Lily and Nick had come here looking for you."

Shit.

I should have taken those calls when I had to. They were all now worried sick about me. But I was and I am still not in a good place to go and face all the shit that I left behind. I needed some time.

"Oh," I said. "I'm home."

"They said they came by there too and they thought it was locked." Monica said confusion covered her voice.

"I didn't hear them." I murmured. It was a white lie and I was sure the detective side of Monica caught on it.

"Um... okay." She said, not trying to prove otherwise. "So, you're cool?"

All my life I had been waiting for someone, anyone, to actually talk to me. Lily had always been that person to me. But now, given the situation, there was a slight chance that she might take Nick's side and for once, I wanted someone to pat my back and say that it was not my fault at all.

"Can I come over?" I asked.

"Of course, Scar." Monica said instantly. "Mum was tired with all the walking yesterday, so I took a day off. I would love to have some company,"

I would have literally hugged and cried on her face if she were here right now. I thanked her and made my way towards her house.

By the time I reached there, Monica was already having a two cups of hot chocolate with her and was watching some repeat telecast of Friends on her television. When she heard me, she turned it off and smiled at me brightly.

"Hi," I said in the best cheerful voice that I could muster. When Monica was trying so much to cheer me up, it was the least I could do. "I didn't know who else to talk to."

"That's no worry, Scar." She smiled and patted the couch next to her and I obliged.

She gave me a cup of hot chocolate and I smiled gratefully at her. It had become a tradition with us that our talks always asked for hot chocolate and Monica mastered in making one.

"This is good." I said pointing towards the cup I was holding.

Monica nodded and took a large gulp that she had finished half of the cup in a single go. I was already gloomy about the sip of chocolate that was missing from mine.

"So, no school today?" Monica asked casually, keeping the cup on the table before us. She pulled all her hair into a pony tail and looked at me.

I sighed. I didn't want to talk about it this soon at all. There were a lot of questions and I knew Monica was not aware of all the answers for it. "I didn't want to attend."

I sunk my head low. The thought of me going to school scared me. There was one guy who had given me hints about his love to me all this long and I didn't even know about it. Then, there was another guy with whom I was head over heels, who said he liked me but, but cannot be with me because he batted for other team.

My life was messed up and I was alone responsible for it.

"Does it have to do something with the party?" She asked cautiously. "Lily said that you were not picking her calls since then."

I had totally forgotten about how Lily and Nick had come their way here to find me. I felt the guilt rising up to my throat. I was sure they were hyperventilating about me.

"Don't worry, I called them to let them know that you are fine." She said, reading my mind. "I also told them that you needed some time to bounce back."

"Thank you." I said.

Monica was more than an employer to me, though she had hated me in the beginning. She not only knew right words at the right time, but also understood me like no other. May be it was the reason why I was here rather than be with Lily.

"Did she tell you?" I asked in a whisper, my eyes not daring to meet hers.

"No." She took the cup and took another sip, emptying it. I released a breath that I was holding. "I said that I would ask you myself. What happened?"

That was when my dam broke. Those two words alone were more than enough to make me feel too small to face the troubles I had in my hands. I had held my resolve for so long that those two words made me go back to the same events clenching my heart in the process.

"I don't know where to begin." I hiccuped, staring at the chocolate that was becoming cold just like what I was feeling.

Monica stepped closer and clasped her hand in mine, and just like that I poured all my heart in her not leaving behind any details. If it seemed funny, she never laughed or made fun of me. She listened without any word till I had got them all out.

My eyes were all puffy from crying, my hair all over the place and I was sure I looked like someone who was ready for the next kill - someone whom a mother could point out to scare her kid.

"Oh, honey." Monica came closer to me and hugged sideways and I wrapped my hands around her wanting to be protected from this mean world. "It's going to be okay."

"I was so... so embarrassed." I wiped my eyes. "I had even told him that I... I loved him and now he..."

"I know, I know." She caressed my head and I lifted my head up to look at her.

"How am I ever going to show my face in school?" I asked, wiping my face. "The whole school was there yesterday. And now I'll be the girl who cant differentiate between straight and curve."

At the mention of curve, Monica broke into a small smile and I joined her. It then slowly led into a chuckle and two seconds later we were both laughing like two hyenas after their hunt.

"Seriously," Monica said, when we both had settled down. "You have got to think about him too, right."

"What about him?" I questioned. I was more than angry at him. "He knew he was gay and yet, he led me on, making me think that he liked me too."

"He likes you." Monica said as a matter of faculty. "I met him today and he sure seemed concerned."

"Of course he was." I said, folding my hands across my chest. "Lily and James would have killed him otherwise. I wonder if they knew about him before me. Oh my God!"

I went back into one of my tantrums, thinking about all the if-s that I could think of. If all my accusations were true, then I was sure as hell messed up.

"Why don't you step out of your shoe and see everything in a third perspective?" Monica suggested.

I looked at her if she had gone mad with few interactions with Lily. She was always the one with such crazy ideas at crazier times.

"Seriously, Scar." Monica sighed when she saw that I wasn't going to do anything about it. "You guys are school kids. What if he didn't know and found out recently and kept it secret for your sake? You said he liked you, right?"

Tears rolled down my eyes and I couldn't stop it. "What?" I managed.

"I think you should talk to him before you can talk to me about it, yeah?" She tilted her head towards her right to see me. I nodded. There were so many gaps that needed to be filled, like a puzzle - only that particular piece would fit in to complete that particular spot.

The only fear was I didn't know how many empty spots were left open.

"Just don't jump into conclusions, Scar." She said. "Just listen and then you can blame."

---

I didn't know where to start, from where to pick myself up. A lot of things needed sorting and a lot of things needed to be talked. I ran over what Monica said and she had a point.

I shouldn't be jumping into conclusions before I hear anything. Believing is another story all together.

I thought how scared Lily, James and Nick were when they had found that I had been missing. I was just thankful that they hadn't gone to my Dad to ask about my whereabouts. I couldn't imagine how that conversation would have ended.

I sighed. I had already ruined a school day and I knew I had to talk to them sooner than later. I picked my cell and pushed the buttons and I was making the calls that I would soon regret.

"I think we need to talk." I said, once the call was picked, not waiting for the greeting. "Starbucks?" I asked.

"Uh... We are all here already." Nick said, guiltily. "We can go somewhere else if you want to."

"No, that's fine." I said. I had to face them, eventually if not now. "I'll be there."

I knew I had to know what happened and the more time I gave it, the more I wanted to blame. Honestly, with Nick, keeping all the feelings at bay, he was more like a best friend, who came to me when I was having a rough time. Apart from Lily and James, he was the one who was helping me get through my life's ups and downs. I didn't want to let it go all for my heart's desire.

I washed my face, but the ugly truth of crying my eyes out were visible as a clear sky. I brushed my hair and pulled it back into a pony tail. Even though I was hurt, I didn't want them to think it was all because of them.

If what Monica said about him not knowing was true, I didn't want to put him in the torture's fire any more. I grabbed my wallet and phone and went ahead, keeping my head held high.

Lily, James and Nick sat at the center of the cafe, holding a cup of cold coffee each. I was sure it was untouched. The table had only three chairs and they had fit perfectly at it. It seemed like I was the one disrupting their flawless bubble.

Nick, who was facing the entrance, saw me first and got up. He pulled an unused chair from another table and put it right next to his, which somehow merged with the rest. The mere thought of how they were okay with adjusting for an extra member fascinated me and I was overwhelmed.

I slowly made my way towards them, careful not to make a fool out of myself. Lily was the fist one to react.

"Oh my God, Scar! You are okay!" She pulled me into a hug and I realized how much I had missed her in the last few hours. "I was so scared."

James pulled me next without any word. He held me sideways and gave me a slow nod, as if silently telling me that it was all going to be alright and they were with me through it all.

"Can I get a hug?" Nick asked in a small voice, barely looking at me.

He seemed like he had taken a bullet into his heart and looked like he was in pain. The dark circles around his eyes told me that he had not slept either. There was a five o' clock shadow on his chin which I had come to love so much. He was still in his last night's shirt and I wondered if he had made home last night considering how strict his mother was.

I walked towards him and hugged him. I couldn't hate him even if he was the one stabbing knives into my heart.

As we parted, his eyes were glazed and was filled with pure bliss. "We still need to talk." I murmured.

"Yes, yes." He said.

We all sat down with me in between Nick and Lily. For once, it felt like there was tension among us. The last time we were here, we were joking about the math problems, laughing heartily as if there were no end to our happiness. And today...

"You want something to eat?" James spoke sensing the tension in the air. "Should I get something for you?"

But before I could reply with anything, James got up mumbling something about getting food and I was sure he was just trying to escape the conversation.

As James went about, the nerves that I had kept at bay started coming out and I started playing with my fingers.

"I am sorry." Nick said lowering his gaze. "You know that I will never hurt you intentionally, right?"

I knew it. But it was too painful for me to get my words out. I just nodded my head.

"I... actually..." He sighed. He was having a great trouble as well.

"Guys," Lily spoke glancing at the two of us alternatively. "I'll go check on James. I don't know what's taking him so long."

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. It was her way of avoiding the conversation and probably wanted to give us a little private time to talk it all out.

"Yeah, right." Nick scoffed. "It only takes two minutes to get something to eat, Lil. Real smooth"

Lily glared at him and gave me a meaningful look and went about with her bag dandling on her shoulders.

I sighed and turned around to face Nick. He gave a nervous smile.

"So," I prompted. It was so weird. I didn't remember the last time I was this jittery with anyone my entire life.

"Scar, I'm really sorry." He started again. "I know... I played with you even when you... you told me how you felt about me... and it was bad of me."

"Nick..." I said.

"Really, I need to get it out." He said. "I didn't know... you know about it... you know?" I held my breath. It was the last thing I wanted to hear. "So, I agreed to date that junior. I didn't like it."

He looked away, running his fingers through his hair. "I thought it was because I liked you more." Tears formed in my eyes. "So I hid all the letters from Brian and dropped you off to tracks whenever I could."

"Oh, Nick." I said, not knowing how to react to such honesty.

"But," He wiped his tears from the back of his hand. "Then, I realized that I was not jealous of them, I was actually jealous of... you."

He let out a sad chuckle and looked at me. I took his hand and squeezed in support. "That's not all. My parents are Catholic and they would be so mad at me for being... this me. I was scared... and I thought if I actually kissed you I wouldn't be what... I am and..." He looked at me his eyes filled with guilt. "Can you forgive me?"

I got up from my chair and hugged him. "I love you, Scar. I really do." He mumbled, holding me tightly.

If it were any movie I was watching I would have flipped in my seat laughing hysterically about how the guy was the one to dump the girl. Now, when the tables were turned around not in my favor, I was not finding it funny anymore.

With us, it was different. Though we didn't have another one to turn to, we had us. Sure, it will be difficult to cope up with the after effects of it all, but by the end of the day we still had each other, if not romantically, just a shoulder to lean on to.

"You know, I do too." I said. He pulled away and wiped my tears.

As I looked at his green eyes, everything seemed to reorient itself and I was able to see them all clearly. The time he had volunteered to help Brian with the party was only because he liked him and wanted to get his attention. He told me things about Robert just so that I would clear my way for him. He put his hands on my shoulder because he wanted others to look at him and not me.

It was so messed up.

"So, are we cool?" Nick asked. He looked so scared that I might turn him down.

He was my best guy friend. I thought we could be more, but that was alright as long as he promised to stay in all my ups and downs. 

"Yeah. I think so." I said with a smile.

---

A/N: Yikes, that seems messed up. What would you have done if you were in Scarlet's place?