There was no sign of life when I reached home. Dad was not home yet and I wondered if it had been a good idea to send him on a day out in the first place.

Tensed, I called him again only to reach his voice mail. Call me, was the only message that I left for him. I hoped that he understood what those two words meant to me.

With me alone in the house it was not difficult to drift back to the race and its outcomes. I had stumbled around the kitchen, trying to get my head out of the scene in which cars were burning with their drivers along with it... but it was of no use. I took out my English text a while later to read a few stories to divert my mind. With a few pages turned, it was really working.

I didn't know what time I had fallen asleep on the couch with the textbook fallen across my chest. Somewhere in between reading the book and looking at the door expecting Dad to somehow turn up, I had dozed off.

With a sudden bolt, I got up with my eyes wide open. I was sweating and panicking with my dream to blame for it. It was the same race, with competing cars running one after the other, but my Dad was racing it... and he hadn't made it through.

I looked around to see my book messily fallen down on the floor. It was still six in the morning, too early for me, but I was frightened to fall back asleep just to dream another nightmare.

Shaking my head in an attempt to keep those thoughts away, I picked the book up and placed it aside. It was one of those days where I start my day early, I thought as I rubbed my eyes. I pulled my hair into a messy bun and got up to start my day.

I made my way to the bathroom to brush my teeth and wash my face. Since I was eating out from past two days, there was no left overs. The refrigerator too was empty and I had to make a note of grocery shopping as soon as possible. I reached for the bread which was thankfully not stale yet.

I settled down for a simple toast as I was not hungry. Robert had treated me with a fine dinner and made sure that I had eaten everything that was on my plate last night. Still, I made around six toasts, thinking I would take some to school.

As I kept the toast in the hot box, I went ahead to have a quick shower. Since I had gotten up early, I thought of visiting the café to clear some chores there. I hurriedly dressed up with my casual tee and jeans. I put on a shawl to keep myself from the cool breeze that might get me the usual cold.

Just as I packed the toast for lunch and repacked the English textbook that I had placed aside, the doorbell rang loudly echoing through the empty walls of the house. I jumped up at the sudden noise and turned towards the main door. Hoping it was Dad on the other side, I raced towards it.

I opened the door expectantly just to see him on his usual wheel chair smiling at me. There was Dan behind him with a guilty face drawn on him.

"Look who finally made home!" I pretended to be surprised as I moved aside to let the two men in.

Dan scratched his neck as he walked past me, pushing the wheel chair with his other hand. "Smells toast."

"Yeaah, that's my gurl." Dad spurred with half closed eyes.

I couldn't believe my ears. With wonder and shock in my eyes, I looked at Dan for explanations. Dan sheepishly looked back at me with a small smile. "You are up early today and already dressed up." Dan commented.

Ignoring his smile and pretending not to hear either of them, I tried again. "How are you, Dad? You didn't call." It wasn't a blame, I was just making sure that I was just hallucinating or having another nightmare.

Dad put his head back and laughed out loud, soon hiccuping and coughing at his attempts. "I furgot." He laughed again.

I covered my mouth with my hands, leaning against the wall for support. My eyes had pooled and I couldn't believe my senses. "How could you?" I asked, my voice too weak to raise above a whisper.

Dan came to my side, holding me. I pushed him away, he was responsible too. I had trusted him to look after my father, yet here he was pushing my drunken Dad around the house.

"It's not the way you think." Dan said in a low voice. "You don't know what he's going through."

"What?" It was now that I shouted. I was furious. How could Dan, out of all people, tell me that I didn't know what he was going through? He knew me inside out. He knew! "You tell me then?" I challenged, crossing my hands.

"He's still misses it, Scar." Dan said in a low voice.

"I doo." Dad chirped from behind. "I miss pressing the accelerator. I can't even mowve my leg now!" He started kicking, losing his balance, he fell on the floor.

Dan ran towards him, trying to sit him up. I stood in a corner wondering what in the world I was ever witnessing. It was only a week since he had got himself discharged from the hospital. All of it to only drink and mess things up again. The place that I once called home, was no longer a place with warm memories. 

Everything was snatched away. My mother, my father, my happiness, my life! Everything.

"Ed, you should take some rest, okay?" Dan advised, giving me a small nod that told me that he was taking him to his room. "Come, sleep it off."

Tears rolled down my cheeks as I tried to wipe them off. I couldn't believe my Dad had drunk himself out of his sane mind, when he had left me at home all alone. I had never seen him this drunk before, not even when he was as fit as a fiddle. But now, he was drunk in broad day light. It was not even seven yet!

"Scarlet." Dan said as he came out of the room. "Come, sit."

I looked at him as if he was sloshed too. Who knew when it came to these boys and their horrid habits? For all I knew, Dan was supposed to take care of Dad and as far as I remember he had told he would be responsible for it. But he was proving himself wrong.

I looked away, not inkling to do as I was told.

"Scarlet, come on." Dan pleaded, as he sat on the couch. He patted the soft spot next to him, with a tired face.

It was funny that how a few minutes back, I was at the same couch having nightmares of Dad who hadn't made it through in the race while in reality I was actually experiencing one.

Dan gave me an encouraging nod. I looked at him, accusing him of everything. "You can't come here with him in that state and give me that stupid nod!" I bit my lip harder and I was sure blood would come out soon.

Dan heaved a sigh and walked towards me. "Scar, I understand your point of view. But Ed... he's not yet adjusted to his new way of living."

"Not what?" I was sure if my eyes were of daggers, he would be damn dead by now. "You think I've adjusted? You think I like this life for me?"

"Scar, no." Dan said, realizing the way he had put his words out. "I didn't mean that. I'm sorry. What I meant was—"

"I'm here working my ass off with my studies, job and with the tracks, while he..." My voice broke. I had never expected Dad to put on this show for me. I had understood when he had met with the accident. I really had.

The independent man, who once had ruled his life in the way he craved, had lost his beloved wife. The next best thing he loved after that woman was the tracks. He had put all his sweats and desires into it and had nursed it like his own child; like a welcomed distraction to keep him going. But he had lost it too.

I knew it came as a shock.

And he needed time to recover.

I knew.

I had been giving him all the time and space he needed, while I took care of the mess he had created. I had taken up a job, learnt racing and was also trying to manage the academics.

We both had our own set of sacrifices to make our lives better. But he was abandoning and leaving me alone in this journey which I wasn't ready for.

I don't think I'm ready yet.

"I didn't think he would betray me like this." I said in a whisper.

"You have no idea how much he loved to race, Scar." Dan said in a low voice imitating mine. "And taking that away in a single day was something he was not expecting."

I wiped the tears that had fallen down.

"But drinking his guts for it, doesn't make me forgive him." I said, looking at him for some answers. "Didn't he think of me for once? Of what I've been going through?"

"Scar, he loves you." Dan said, keeping his hands on my shoulder. "You are only left for him."

"He's only one left for me!" I cried, tears streaming down my face. "I have already lost one parent in this racing shit! I don't want to lose another without it!"

"Scar!" Dan raised his voice for the first time in the whole morning.

I pulled my bag pack across my shoulder. I was not wasting my time again to discuss about how my Dad was suffering all over again, when nobody bothered to even take notice of how I was coping up with the whole scenario.

I was doing my best to make our lives better as much as possible, but Dad was drinking his way out. I was not going to witness another parent suffer.

I did what I thought it was best.

I walked out, leaving behind Dan, screaming my name over and over again. But I never turned back.

---

A/N: It was a very emotional chapter to write. The emotions of betrayal, anger and the final pity was too rough to form in words. What did you think about it? Did I make some justice to it?