"Judit!" Rama's eyes were wide, glinting in the darkness.

He sounded shocked, but not angry. Maybe even...relieved?... to see her. Did he know? How on earth could he know, this time?

"Rama." Judit was panicking, her eyes fixed on his. What the skit is he doing here?

"What's going on?" Rama said, stepping back, his hands on the wooden rim of the box bed. His voice was low, confused, but also urgent. "Where have you been? Where's Gaen?"

"What are you doing here?" Judit replied, ignoring his questions.

He never came to the village at night. What was he doing here? He's the last person that should have found them. Dean or Goodmin, deciding to check on Gaen. Peasie or Tod, waking up to see Hegri and Lintie had gone, that's what they'd been worried about. Not this. It made no sense at all. Why the skit was he here?

Rama opened his mouth, but it was a moment before he spoke. The fire was low, and Judit could barely see his face in the shadow. She stayed at the entrance to the byre, hands glued to the door, body stiff, her pose mirroring his. The chickens were asleep, and made no noise. Nothing to break the silence.

"I checked on the SpeciesSystem," he said, eventually. "Since I reactivated your chip, after... you went. I've been... I checked occasionally. Just to see..."

He tailed off, his voice awkward, as if he'd been caught doing something he shouldn't. Had he? He kinda had. It was a bit creepy.

If it's creepy, Judit thought, that familiar pull to him slowly seeping back, why does that make me so excited? That he's looking for me, just like I hoped? Her body relaxed slightly on the door. She considered stepping towards him, but didn't.

"So I checked it again tonight. Just to... just to see if you were... okay." Rama went on, still sounding cornered. "And I saw you and Gaen were in the byre. And you were very close, and moving... I mean, that's okay of course." he was defensive. He sounded embarrassed, looked away. "Then you walked up to the woods, and were close, and moving again, and then you...."

He turned slightly to the side, his eyes on the broken line where the rough wall met the earthen floor.

"We have a thing in the nanochips that responds to heartrate, so we know when an anim- so we know when something or someone has... if something passes away. The dot turns grey. And your dot turned grey. I was terrified. His was there, and yours was grey, right next to it. I didn't know what had happened. I was scared. So I came here straight away."

"You came to save me?" Judit said. She felt like there was a sun in her stomach, warming her insides. She stepped towards him, into the blackhouse. She wanted to see his face.

"Well, not really." He still sounded guilty, and a bit doubtful. "I mean, if that were the case, I'd be too late."

Judit didn't reply. She sat down on the bench, so the fire was between them. They stayed as they were for a long time, him by the bed, her on the bench, her looking at him, him looking at the wall. Eventually, he stepped forward, came and sat down too, leaving a respectable distance between them.

"Did you report it? To anyone else?" Judit said, looking into the fire. She felt too shy to look at him now that he was closer, in the light.

"No." He leaned forward, elbows on his knees, hands glowing, lit up by the flames. "It's all very soon, after what happened the other night. I wanted to check that something was wrong before I... I didn't want to implicate either of us. Mostly myself," he added, bitterly.

"It's okay," Judit said softly. "I'm okay. And I appreciate you looking out for me. I really do."

He turned to her, frowning, golden in the firelight. "You amaze me," he said. "To be so magnanimous, after everything I've done to you." His hands were on the bench now, gripping it, tight.

"What?" Judit's eyebrows shot up. "All you've ever done is be nice to me."

"No." His voice was firm. "I've been totally unethical. Broken the rules. I haven't done anything right." He turned his face away from her, back to the fire. "I was so determined to get you here, thought you were so important for the experiment, and then when there was any threat that it might not work out, I just didn't want to see it. I've broken every ethical code in the book, just to serve my own ends. Rather than admit I was wrong."

He shook his head, his gaze still set on the flames. He looked so beautiful, in profile, in the firelight.

"Sometimes what works in theory isn't necessarily true in practice," he said, almost bitterly. "I just wanted my vision for it all to work so much. And look where it's got me. Or, more importantly, you."

He looked up at her, and despite his frown, he was the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen. She couldn't take her eyes off him. He was looking at her, too, and she knew he loved her like she loved him. She knew it.

"Where is Gaen?" He looked away, his voice uncertain.

Judit's heart broke a tiny bit. She didn't know what to say. Should she tell him?

"I love you, you know," she said frankly. "I'm licit in love with you."

It was partly to change the subject, partly because this might be the last chance she had to say it, partly because she couldn't hold it in any longer. Partly because she knew, knew, knew (hoped?) he felt the same way too. She reached out, gently touched the back of his hand on the bench.

He jerked away, like she'd stung him. "Judit. I... We've been through this. I'm sorry." He was tense, his voice choked. "This just makes everything so much worse. So much worse."

He stood up, moved away from her, so the fire was between them. Judit didn't care. She understood. He couldn't say it. Whatever he said, she loved him and he loved her too. He just couldn't say it.

"Where's Gaen?" He repeated, looking at her through the smoke, an edge to his voice.

Should I tell him? I don't know. It could ruin everything. Despite that, she wanted to. It felt like a storm in her head. She didn't know what to do. Judit stared at Rama, and he stared back. I'm gonna do it. I trust him.

"I..." Judit faltered.

"Where is he? What did he do to you? Why was your nanochip registering you were dead?" There was a deep furrow between Rama's brows. "Did he try to hurt you? I've seen what a temper he's got, out on the boat."

Judit bit her lip, shook her head. She was going to tell him. Everything. She just had to work up the courage.

Rama circled the fire, sat by her again. He still kept a respectable distance, but this time he reached out, took her hand.

"You can tell me," he said softly. "If he did anything to hurt you. I'll fix it, I promise. I... And then if you want to leave, you can. I'll withdraw you from the project." He squeezed her hand gently.

His flesh on hers felt so warm, so comforting, and his voice was so tender and she'd never felt more safe, more cared for, and at the same time utterly dejected, to be leaving him. I can't go. I can't live without Rama.

"I don't want to go," Judit said softly, new-sprung tears wetting her voice.

"Then you don't have to," Rama replied. "I've been looking into getting Sannah a job, in case... Like I said I would. I've got her something with the Estates Department, cleaning the buildings at the Field Centre. I know it's not... I know it isn't a dream job or anything, but I thought... she'd have an Access Pass then."

He lifted his free hand to his face, rubbed his eyes. "And I wondered if there was a way I could set it up, so you can meet her. I could bring her to the forest, like once a week or something, and you can spend some time together. If you do decide to stay, I just want to make it the best I can for you."

"No." Judit shook her head. "You don't understand. I have to go. We're... We're leaving. Six of us. We're going tonight."

Rama dropped Judit's hand, and he stared at her, his mouth agape, face shocked. "What do you mean?"

Judit nodded, sniffing back her tears. "We changed our chips. On Goodmin's screen. Swapped them with some lavys'. So we could escape. That's what you saw on the screen. Gaen's lavy attacked mine. It killed it. He didn't attack me."

Rama's face relaxed slightly, though he still looked shocked. "I don't understand," he said tensely. "You could have just gone, properly. I would have sorted it out for you. I said. If you go like this, you have no records, no ID, what can you do? You can't go back to school, can't get a job—not a legitimate one, anyway. You're putting yourself in danger, Judit. I can't let you just leave like that. I won't." It was his turn to sound panicked, now.

"You don't understand," Judit said, shaking her head, sniffing back her tears. "We're not going back... there. We're going into the wild. We're going to Hirta."

He was silent, staring at her.

"We're going to live there. Start again. In the wild. We have... we've got supplies. We're all prepared." She was rambling now, but she couldn't help it. "Sannah's coming too."

"In the wild?" His voice was so low she could barely hear him. "You want to do it for real. You..." He looked at her, then at the fire. "It'll be hard, you know. No medical care, no support, you'd have to feed yourselves... It won't be easy."

"But we'd be free," Judit said. "Like the wolves. Wild for real." She paused for a moment, then continued, her voice pleading. "You could... why don't you come with us?"

Rama laughed, a short, ironic snort. "That's crazy. No. I have my job, my family... I have responsibility."

"But it would be exactly what you've always dreamed of. Like those Generics running away to live with the Natives you told me about." Judit rested her hand gently on his forearm. "We could be together, there. There'd be no rules. Nothing to hold us back."

He pulled away, again, but not as rapidly this time. "I've already told you, Judit." He looked away. His voice was heavy. "I'm a cow, not a wolf." He turned to her now, his face hard. "And I can't let you go, either. You'll be putting yourself in danger."

"No more dangerous than here, after Dean and Goodmin leave."

Rama looked away again, his frown back.

"They wouldn't give Gaen medicine. What would they do if say, our crops failed in a few years time? If I... If Gaen got me pregnant like they want, and I died in childbirth?"

Rama flinched, his fingers digging into his knees, his eyes still on the fire.

"I see your point. But... Like I said, I have a duty of care. To you. I can't just let this happen."

Judit moved closer to him, reached over and put her hand on his leg. Maybe she imagined it, but it felt like a tremor ran through him, through her too. She was suddenly acutely aware that they were alone, in the house, in the night.

"I know you can't say it," she was almost whispering. He was tense, not looking at her, like she'd never even approached him. "I know you can't say it. Because of your job, because of my age—"

He jerked away now, glancing towards her then quickly away, making space between them on the bench. He was so tense it was like he was made of metal.

"Judit—" There was a warning tone in his voice.

"No." Judit was firm. "Listen to me now. I know you can't say it. Because of your job, because of my age, because of Tish. And I'm not going to ask you to. But I'm just going to say this. If you love me at all, and I know you do, just let me go. Let me do this. Let me be the master of my own fate. Please. Just let me live."

He scowled, staring straight ahead, shaking his head.

Fear sparked in Judit's guts, and it grew and grew, covering everything, extinguishing the sun.

I've made a mistake. I got it all wrong.

What have I done?

Rama lifted his hands to his face, buried it in them, rubbing his eyes like he had done in the car, on that dawning morning when he brought her back.

"I can't understand," he said, his face still hidden in his hands, voice muffled. "I can't understand why, or how, you could love me."

Hope flared in Judit again. No. She had been right. "But I do," she said gently. "And I know you love me too."

He lifted his face, looked at her. There was a glimmer in his eyes.

"Just go." He said, his voice sharp. "Just go." A tremble had crept in. "Go now. Before I change my mind."

Judit opened her mouth and closed it again. It was her turn to tremble, now.

"I don't want to leave you," she croaked, tears rising again.

"You've got to. We both know that. This isn't written in any stars. I couldn't live with myself."

"I..." Judit reached out, touched his leg again.

"Don't, Judit. Please." He pulled away, his voice severe.

She stood up, gulping, crying hard now, tears running unfettered down her face.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I'm sorry for all of this."

He looked up at her. "You don't have anything to apologise for. I'm the adult here. I failed you. I'm sorry for everything. I never should have brought you here in the first place."

"No," she shook her head, tears careering down her face, dripping from her chin. "You don't need to be sorry. It's the best thing that ever happened to me."

He didn't say anything, just stood up and came towards her, across the shadowed room. For one glorious moment she felt like he was going to take her in his arms and kiss her, kiss her like she'd never been kissed before.

He didn't. He stopped by the door, rummaging in a bag she hadn't noticed. It slumped against the wall, like it had been hastily thrown down.

"Here," he said. "I've been carrying it round since before... Before the train station. You left it in your room. You should take it. You'll need it, where you're going."

He handed her something large and rectangular. It was the two books, one on crafts and one on mythology, that he'd given her back in the village, not long yet forever ago.

She took them off him, then couldn't help it. She threw herself into his arms.

"Goodbye," she said through her tears, her face wet on his shirt.

"Good luck," he said into her hair. For a glorious moment he held her tight, then he let go.

She looked up at him, and he brushed a curl away from her face.

"It's been a gift to know you, Judit MaVae. Now go. Go and be free."