29: True Love
Judit had hoped to avoid Rama for as long as possible after yesterday, but no such luck. Her eyes, her every blood cell, picked him out immediately when she entered the social area for breakfast.
He had his back to her, in a corner, deep in hushed conversation with Jaddy. She stayed as far away from them as possible, but her whole body screamed with awareness at his presence. She felt like an aerial, tuned only to receive him.
She was watching him through her peripheral vision (all the time, unavoidably, whenever he was near), and his eyes fixed on hers, that hard connection making her heart leap. He came towards her and she swallowed the bread in her mouth quickly. It felt like she was ingesting a whole tree.
"Morning Judit." Rama's voice was laced-tight with urgency. He touched her arm softly, and her nerve endings melted like butter under a hot iron, liquid gold running down her body, pooling between her legs. "Hope you're feeling better after yesterday."
For a long moment she assumed he was referring to the logical thing, the thing that kept her awake all night, but then she realised he meant her tears over Sannah.
"Yeah," she responded, all zen, totally zen. "Thanks."
"Look, I just want to tell you something important." His voice was hushed and he steered her to the corner. "It's a big day today. Earlier than we expected—what with this heatwave and everything, the crops—anyway, I know... with you starting late, this might feel like quite a leap, and I want you to know that it's okay."
He was leaning in, urgency in his voice. He was so close she could see a tiny fleck of brown in the blue iris of his left eye. It was intensely difficult to fight the urge to press herself against him. Her whole body leaned towards him, like he emitted a gravitational pull. Her hands wanted to rise up and stroke his face, his lovely hair. Like Tish did yesterday, she thought, and jealousy yanked violently downwards on her gullet.
He was going on, oblivious to her gremlin emotions. "You'll still have your lessons as a group, and I'll still be on hand for everything. The others have agreed that I can still tutor you and Jadrun in the things you've missed. So, just, don't worry, basically. It's alright. It's not as big a deal as it might seem. You're not on your own. I'm here. We're all still here."
Judit furrowed her brow. "What? I don't understand."
Rama opened his mouth to answer, then his eyes flicked to the door. "Look, I've got to go," he whispered, "but it's zen. Don't worry. I promise. See you later. Not tonight, that's not... But tomorrow, okay? Five as usual?"
She nodded, and he left. Why not tonight? Judit wondered, slick with disappointment.
Dr. Goodmin and Moustache had appeared, and were ushering the students towards one of the classrooms. At least we're all together, Judit thought, as boys and girls both crowded through the door. That means no blackhouse.
She followed the crowd. She wanted to sit with Lintie, try and smooth things out after their crank encounter the other day, but Lintie was sitting with Hegri, and Judit couldn't bear to look at him.
She scanned the class for somewhere else. Merle sat down with those guys too. Judit hesitated then pulled out a chair next to Jaddy at the front, her back to her friends.
"Okay guys," Moustache addressed the class from right in front of Judit and Jaddy.
At least he's fully dressed today, Judit thought. Otherwise I'd have to stare close-range at his gross skin-tight-Lycra teacher-crotch. She glanced at Jaddy. He was looking down at his balled fists, as withdrawn as ever. His hands were shaking, Judit noticed. She suddenly wondered if Rama had been giving him the same off-spec talk that he'd given her, this morning when she came in.
"So, this is a big day," Moustache went on. "A big day for the project, a big day for you. We're ready for our next stage of learning, moving one step further towards our goal. This morning, me and Dr. Goodmin are going to go through the logistics with you, get you all prepared. And this afternoon, we're moving over to the village."
A rabble of excited voices rose up in the classroom. Judit's heart stopped. Without wanting to, she turned around, towards her friends, towards Hegri. He was looking right at her, his expression inscrutable. He looked away immediately when her eyes met his. She blushed pigs-blood-sausage red and twisted hastily back in her seat. She felt like she was burning, could feel his eyes in her back.
Dr. Goodmin stepped forward. "Alright," she said over the voices, reducing them to a murmur. "I'm going to go over the most important aspects of blackhouse living with you again, though you don't have to worry too much. Your lessons will continue as usual on site, and Dr. Dean and I,"—she pointed to Moustache, then herself—"will be available twenty four-seven throughout the first phase of the project. So in terms of support and mentoring, nothing changes. You'll just be out there, on site, applying the things we've learned in their proper context."
Judit sneaked a look around again, pretending to look out of the window at that dagging blackhouse in the quad. The students were all whispering to each other, leaning this way and that. She caught Lintie's eye. Lintie gave her a small, tight smile and Judit smiled back, relieved. She looked away, her eyes swivelling unnaturally to ensure Hegri didn't meet her line of vision.
Dr. Goodmin and Dr. Dean were conferring quietly at the front of the class, Goodmin hiding their mouths with her hand. She had a ring on every finger.
"Alright," Dean said as the other teacher stepped away. "Before we go into all the mechanics, we're going to talk about what I know has been a topic of concern for you kids throughout your time here. The living arrangements."
The class was as silent as a mortician's slab, the air pinguid with expectation.
"As you may be aware, we've placed you into pairs. This was necessary for multiple reasons. First, we need to recreate an authentic Native community organisation, and our sources show clearly that social monogamy was the Native norm. Second, the population bottleneck of the Native taxon means that without intervention, significant inbreeding depression is a serious threat to the sustainability of this community."
Judit wondered if anyone else understood what he was saying. It was just long words.
"I know this might seem strange to you," Dean went on, his voice authoritative. "It varies markably from the affinal kinship models you're used to. But it's important to remember that in the long term, sexual reproduction is a biological trait, and sexual reproduction drives partner choice. Pheromonal attraction is directly linked to genetic compatibility, so we're all on the same page here. We only want what you want."
Dean paused, taking in the students' eyes, all fixed on him. Judit looked away, down at Jaddy's clenched hands. The bones of his knuckles looked like they were about to split the skin.
Dr. Dean looked over at Dr. Goodmin, and she nodded and started to speak.
"Alright, thank you, Dr. Dean. So biology aside, the partner relationship is vital to your performance in the village. The household is the basic unit of subsistence for the Native tribe, and the division of labour means that you cannot, will not, do well without the cooperation and support of your partner. Getting this working relationship right is the number one factor in your efficacy—your survival—in the forest."
Jaddy's hands were shaking violently now. Judit had the urge to grab them, comfort him. She knew exactly how he was feeling.
Dr. Dean had moved towards a desk at the side of the room, and he picked up a pile of stiff-looking white envelopes. He was looking at Goodmin expectantly. She returned his look and he handed her half the pile.
Goodmin nodded thanks and addressed the class. "These envelopes contain your partner. A lot of hard data and expertise went into these choices." she raised her voice to silence the growing murmurs in the classroom. "We know what we are doing. After you open these, the girls will come with me to prepare to go down to the village, and the boys will accompany Dr. Dean. We'll then have a short session to get you acquainted with the site, and you can spend the rest of the night settling into your new homes."
Dr. Goodmin dropped a fat envelope in front of Judit, then one in front of Jaddy, her billowing blouse momentarily enveloping Judit's face as she walked past. It smelled like washing powder. Dr. Dean was mirroring Goodmin's rounds at the other side of the class.
Judit glanced down. Her name was printed on the envelope in neat black type. She shifted her chair away from the table to put some distance between herself and it. Her heart was in her mouth, and it tasted like metal. I can't open it. No way. She didn't think her hands would even work, never mind anything else. Her palms were greasy with sweat.
She could hear an orchestra of ripping paper behind her. Then responses started. A girl's groan. Another. Another, a boy this time. A short laugh, ironic and humourless. Whispers. Another groan, this one audibly recognisable as Merle. Judit swivelled to look at her friends. Lintie had just opened her envelope. Judit saw Hegri look at Lintie, and Lintie give a small shake of the head. Hegri's eyes fell, his own pristine envelope still in his hands.
"For skit's sake," that was Gaen, spat angrily.
He balled his paper up, dropped it on the floor. One of the sobers in the second row started crying, her friend wrapping her in a hug, hush, hush.
"I can't believe it. I just dagging knew it. Kill me now." That was Merle again, her voice high in a whine.
Judit turned and glanced at the paper clutched in Jaddy's shaking hand.
MERLE CRUITHNE
Merle had been right. Still, it was a crank move to react like that, here, where Jaddy could blatantly hear her. Judit reached around him, gave his side a gentle squeeze. He looked at her with grateful eyes. They were a beautiful colour, she noticed. Brown in the middle near the pupil, as green as the waterfall plunge-pool round the outside, his lashes sandy.
Merle was still groaning audibly behind them. I wonder if that's how Hegri feels too, Judit thought. At least he has the zen to keep it quiet. She turned to glance. Hegri's head was in his hands, his shoulders drooping, only the top of his hair visible. He looked totally, utterly despondent. Judit looked away quickly, shame curling around her. The two girls next to her were giggling and whispering. At least someone is happy with their choice.
Judit grimaced and slipped her thumb in the corner of the envelope, ripped open the top, pulled out the paper. She might as well get it over with, now. She couldn't change what was inside by leaving it undone.
Completely involuntarily, before she realised she'd done it, Judit let out a loud, high-pitched alarm call. It was part surprise, part horror.
It was Gaen.
Her paper said Gaen.
Bạn đang đọc truyện trên: AzTruyen.Top