**I apologize in advance**

"You're not dying, are you?"

Calum laughed gently at Luke's question, rolling his eyes. "No, Luke," he answered, amused. "I'm not dying. My appointment was great and, as usual, they found nothing."

"Okay," Luke conceded. "So, what's the big emergency, then?"

Calum's cheeks flushed gently as he smiled in on himself, hands clasped in front of him as he looked at Luke with shining eyes. "So, there's a couple of things I want to ask you."

Luke nodded, gently urging the dark haired man to continue.

"I know I've known you most of our lives," he said gently, "but I still feel like I need to ask you about anything that concerns me, Mike and Crystal."

Luke's brows furrowed gently before his eyes blew open wide as Calum slid a velvet box across the island in Luke's kitchen. "Cal."

Calum looked like he could cry with happiness as he opened the box to reveal two rings, one silver band with a beautiful diamond on top and the other a simple gold band. "I want to ask them to marry me."

Luke's hand flew to his mouth as he looked at the happiness flooding his friend's eyes. He crossed around the island and caught Calum in a tight hug, laughing almost disbelievingly. "Cal," he said, still laughing, "yes! Yes, ask them!"

Calum was still smiling as they pulled away, but now he looked a bit nervous. "You think they'll say yes?"

Luke rolled his eyes, grabbing Calum by the shoulders and shaking him gently. "You guys are all so in love with each other," he said like it was obvious. "They're going to say yes. You have nothing to worry about."

Calum smiled brighter, nodding in his brief daze as he slid the box back in his pocket. "I also want to ask you to be my best man at the wedding," he finished softly.

Luke teared up as he nodded. "Of course I will," he answered.

Calum regained his composure as he leaned against the island opposite Luke, smirking at him. "So," he said, smug. "How'd it go after you dropped Ashton off?"

Luke groaned softly, leaning on his elbows as he told Calum what happened when he took Ashton home after their group dinner. He recounted the comfortable silence and how he walked him to his door before kissing him on his porch.

He also mentioned how he hadn't heard from him since.

"God, Cal, tell me I didn't ruin this before it even started?" Luke's voice was pleading, almost silently begging his friend to tell him that it wasn't real, and he had dreamt the whole encounter.

Calum smiled sympathetically at Luke, reaching across the blonde's kitchen island and patting his hand gently. "I think you're thinking too much into this."

"I kissed him, Cal," Luke stressed, hiding his face in his hands at his own words. "I didn't even ask if it was okay! I just did it."

"He kissed you back, didn't he?"

"Well, yeah, but." Luke stopped, shaking his head gently. "That doesn't exactly mean he wanted me to kiss him. I just. I couldn't help myself. I really like him. Shit, I think I could love him, but I don't wanna go that far as to say that yet."

Calum looked at Luke with wary eyes. He couldn't get it out of his head, and the guilt was eating him alive, causing him to sigh. "Luke," he started cautiously, "there's.. something you don't know about Ashton."

Luke looked at Calum, feeling his heart sink. "What do you mean?"

Calum sputtered slowly, not really knowing how he should tell him. So he just sighed.

"Calum," Luke pushed gently, getting worried. "What don't I know about Ashton?"

"It's really not my business," Calum said, defeatedly, "but it is something you should know. He'll have to tell you himself."

"Has he robbed a bank?"

"No," Calum stated.

"Has he killed someone?"

Calum pulled a disgusted face. "No, Luke."

"Is he a Trump supporter?"

Calum groans. "No, Luke."

Luke shrugs heavily, dropping his arms harshly against his sides. "Then, honestly," he says, laughing softly, "I don't care."

Calum studies his friend for a moment before nodding with a gentle sigh. "Alright," he says. "But you need to talk to him. If you think you ruined things, you need to talk about it. And he needs to talk to you, too."

———

Luke found himself fidgeting with his fingers as he stood in front of Ashton's front door. His palms were beginning to sweat as his nerves kicked in, and he mentally cursed himself. What if he actually did ruin things between him and Ashton? What if Ashton never wanted to see him again? What could be so bad about him that Calum decided Luke absolutely needed to know?

The blonde sighed heavily before mentally saying fuck it, and raised his knuckles, knocking on the door quickly. He took a couple of steps back, hearing his heartbeat in his ears as he nervously waited for an answer.

Soon enough, the locks were clicking and the large, wooden door opened to reveal a stunning looking Ashton, dressed in black skinnies and a cut-off black band t-shirt. He looked, to Luke, like sex on legs, but he couldn't let his mind go there right now.

"Luke," Ashton said, his voice sounding nervous as he held the door open a bit. "Hi."

Luke swallowed thickly, nodding a soft greeting to the curly haired man. "Hi, Ash," he said. "Is now a bad time?"

Ashton quickly shook his head, brows furrowed as he pushed the door open even more. "No," he said, "not at all. Do you want to come in?"

Luke shifted in his feet gently, taking in a sharp breath. "I don't know if I should."

Ashton looked confused but shook his head adamantly. "Luke," he said softly, "please come in?"

Luke hesitated for a moment before nodding and allowing Ashton to usher him inside. The decor of Ashton's home was very minimalistic, with two couches and a coffee table in the living room and a four-person dining table in the dining room. From how it seemed, Ashton didn't like clutter, so not having much was better for him. "Your house looks cozy," Luke commented.

Ashton smiled, bringing Luke into the kitchen. "It's not much," he said modestly, "but it's home."

Luke nodded, feeling out of his element.

"Luke," Ashton said softly, "what's going on?"

Luke grimaced to himself before turning to Ashton. "Did I mess this up?"

The curly haired man looked confused, tilting his head. "Mess what up?"

Luke looked exasperated at this point. "This!" He frantically motioned his hands between the two of them. "Whatever this is we have going on here! I know you probably hated the kiss and maybe didn't even want it—"

"I didn't hate it," Ashton sheepishly mumbled.

"Then why have you blown me off for the last week?" Luke's voice was pleading at this point, not trying to hide his emotions. "Why make me feel like I've done something wrong if I haven't?"

"Luke—"

"No, let me finish, please." Luke begged, sighing as Ashton looked at him with guilt in his eyes. "This last month and a half that I've known you has been the best time of my life. You know how to make me laugh, you know how to make me feel comfortable, and you make me feel wanted, Ash. You make me feel like I shouldn't be scared of letting someone in just because I've been hurt in the worst way. And now? I let you in and now I feel like you shut me out. I just. I like you, Ashton. God, I don't even like you, I think I fucking love you."

Ashton barely let a moment pass before he was laughing, almost hysterically at the blonde's confession. "You don't love me," Ashton said, tone demeaning and derogatory.

Luke furrowed his brows, his heart feeling like it was cracking under pressure. "Yes, I do," he defended. "You can't tell me how I feel about you, Ashton."

Ashton shook his head, and only then did Luke notice the tears beginning to fall from his hazel eyes. "You can't love me, Luke," he restated, his voice sounding broken. "I won't let you."

Luke looked lost. He walked toward the curly haired man and put his hands on his arms. "Ashton, it's okay to be scared—"

"I'm not scared!" Ashton put his hands on Luke's chest and shoved his backward, his own chest rising and falling heavily as he tugged on his hair. "God, Luke, you're not supposed to love me!"

Luke was beginning to get angry, his heart breaking even more. "And why not, huh?" He couldn't help how angry he was, but it was mostly because he was hurt. "Why am I not allowed to love you? Tell me why!"

"It's not that simple, Luke—"

"Oh, but it's simple to laugh in my face when I'm pouring my heart out to you?!" Luke laughed disbelievingly. "Just tell me the truth! Tell me why I can't love you!"

"Luke—"

"Tell me, Ashton!"

"Because I'm dying, Luke!"

And that was when Luke's heart stopped altogether.