[the hunger games series: catching fire]
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       WARNING! This chapter deals with some potentially triggering subjects such as suicidal thoughts and stuff along those lines. So please, read at your own caution. I love you all <3 and I am here if any of you need someone to talk to.

        grace <3

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        Cameron began to shake vigorously, trying to crawl over to Mitchell's body, dodging the Monkeys that were trying to swing at her. "No, no," she muttered, dragging herself through the mud to get to her friend. "No! No, no, Mitch- no," she continued.

        As Cameron kept crawling toward Mitch's body, she didn't realize that the monkeys had started to retreat. She was too focused on seeing her friend, even if he was actually dead. "Mitch, Mitch," she mumbled, her hand finally reaching the side of his cheek. "M-Mitch," she said, feeling the side of his neck, trying to find a pulse.

        'Maybe the game makers were wrong?' she thought to herself. 'Maybe he's not actually dead, because he can't be dead. He can't leave me- He can't. He didn't deserve to die.' Cameron kept moving her hand on the side of his neck, but she felt nothing. No pulse. Nothing. "Fuck, fuck," she cried as she removed her hand from his cold body. She began to look around the ground to find his weapon. Cameron wasn't going to let someone else get their hands on it. No one else deserved it. It belonged to Mitchell, not the rest of the tributes. But she couldn't find it.

        Cameron couldn't tell if her vision was getting blurry from the tears in her eyes or if the dehydration had finally gotten to her. She tried to feel around for the knife, or anything sharp on the ground that would indicate where it could be, but all she felt was the dirty jungle ground and the flecks of mud under her fingertips.

        "Cam, Cam, we have to go," Katniss said quickly, tugging at her sleeve.

        Cameron shook her head, "No," she said slowly. "No, just leave me here. I don't want to go. I-I can't leave him."

        "Cam, you have to come with us," Katniss insisted.

        Cameron still didn't move, "Katniss, just go," she said in a low voice. "Leave, please. Just- save yourself. I want to stay, I don't want to go."

        But Katniss didn't leave Cameron's side. She picked the girl up by her forearm and dragged her toward the beach where Finnick and Peeta were sitting. Out of her tear-filled eyes, she saw the body of another tribute. She couldn't tell who it was, and she honestly didn't really care.

        Cameron recognized the tribute as Katniss dragged her closer to the rest of the group. It was one of the morphlings from District 6. She was still alive as Katniss knelt down beside the tribute. She began to cut away the fabric from the morphlings chest. Cameron could make out four distinct puncture wounds on the tribute's chest.

        Cameron could hear the tribute gasping for air, trying to fight what was clearly coming her way, death. There was nothing that the group could do for the morphling, all they could do is sit there is watch as the life drained from her eyes. Cameron sniffled, taking a seat on the sand. She wasn't going to go over to the morphling, she didn't know her. She knew Mitchell though, she wished that she was able to get a proper burial for him.

        She ended up tuning out the story that Peeta had told the Morphling, she just stared forward at the water hitting the edge of the shore. Cameron tried to take in whatever happened to her, she wasn't sure if she was willing to accept it. She didn't want to accept the fact that Mitchell Carnett was dead. She sniffled, letting her emotions get the best of her. She pushed her crossbow off of her back and watched as it sank into the sand next to her.

        Cameron wasn't sure how long she had sat on the beach. The only time she moved from her spot is when she saw a small parachute fall about three feet in front of her. She leaned forward and gingerly picked the package up. She took a shaky breath before she unwrapped the package and pulled out a small braided piece of twine. "Damn you, Wilbur," she cursed looking up at the sky. She knew exactly where the piece of twine was from.

        "Cam, Cammmmm," Mitchell sang, rushing into the room. It was a few weeks after Cameron had arrived home from her victory tour, and she was still trying to get used to living without her parents. She groaned looking up at the man who had peeked his head over the couch.

        "Yes?" she asked, opening one eye to look at him.

        "Look at this," he said, dangling a small piece of twine in front of her face.

        Cameron blinked, sitting fully up on the couch. "Okay, what the hell am I looking at?" she asked him.

        "You tell me," Mitchell retorted, eyeing her carefully. "Because Wilbur said you weren't allowed to cut down the twine with your arrows, but this-" he said, holding up the severed piece of twine, "Proves that you have been."

        Cameron shook her head, "Why do you care, Mitch?" she asked slowly.

        "Because Wilbur told me to look after you while he was away for the week, so I'm here to tell you to stop doing that," Mitchell warned.

        Cameron rolled her eyes, "Okay, give me that real quick," she said, snatching the piece of twine from his hands.

        Mitchell raised his brow at her, "What do you think you're doing?" he questioned.

        "Getting rid of the evidence," she said as she began to mess with the piece of twine. She split the bottom of it into three direction sections and began to cross them over each other until she reached the end of the twine. She tied off the bottom of the braid and passed it back to Mitchell. "There," she said simply with a small smile. "If Wilbur asks you can just say it was a gift from me."

        Mitchell scoffed, "This is a shit gift," he stated, eyeing the piece of twine carefully.

        Cameron frowned, "Just shut up and accept the gift you dickhead," she said sharply.

        Cameron tied the piece of twine around her wrist and shook her head. "God forbid I actually miss Mitch's sass right now," she whispered to herself. "I can't believe this."

        Meanwhile, Katniss and Finnick were collecting water from the spile and the beach, drinking the liquid from small shells that they found around the shore. Katniss turned to Finnick. "Why don't you get some rest?" she asked. "I can watch for a while."

        "No, Katniss, I'd rather," Finnick said quickly.

        "Okay, well, what about her?" Katniss asked, nodding toward Cameron, who was still seating on the beach.

        Finnick stared at the back of the blonde's head. "How long has she been there?" he asked.

        Katniss shrugged, "I'm not really sure," she said honestly. "For most of the night, I think."

        Finnick sighed, "I'll go talk to her, try and convince her to get some rest," he told Katniss quickly. "I'll just stay up."

        Katniss nodded, "Okay, good luck," she whispered, taking her spot next to Peeta on the ground.

        "Cam, you should get some sleep," Finnick told her taking a seat next to the girl. "I can just stay up and keep watch."

        Cameron didn't say anything, she just continued to stare at the water in front of her. Wondering what it would feel like to walk in the freezing cold water and stay there. It's not like she couldn't hear Finnick, she didn't have the energy to respond to him. If she did, he would want to talk about what happened. And that's the last thing Cameron wanted to do at the moment.

        "Cam?" Finnick asked once more. "Cameron," he said, moving his hand, trying to wave it in front of her face.

        She grabbed onto his wrist, her head whipping to face him. "Don't," Cameron said dangerously. "Plus, I don't want to sleep," she said, looking away from him and back at the dark water. "I don't need it," she repeated.

        "Right, that's convincing," Finnick replied.

        Cameron scowled, "I'm not trying to convince anyone of anything," she stated, staring intently at the gentle waves that were washing up on the shore. She placed her hands at her side, feeling the grains of sand between her fingers. She took a deep breath in. "And before you ask because I know you're going to, I don't walk to talk either. I don't even want to be here."

        "Neither did I, Cam, but we don't have a choice," Finnick told her.

        Cameron continued to study the water, focusing on the sound of the waves crashing on the beach. She didn't even know that it was possible for waves to form in the arena. 'I guess the Capitol thought of everything,' she thought to herself. 'I should've thought of everything. I should've known that someone was gonna die. Haymitch's deal was just a load of shit. Mitch didn't deserve this. He didn't deserve to go this way. I promised that he would get out. I promised him and I fucking broke that promise. I fucking broke it. It should've been me. I should've died,' she continued, letting her thoughts consume her. "That's not what I meant," she said slowly. "I don't want to be here anymore," she stated quietly, still staring at the water in front of her. "The games, this fucking arena, all of it. I'm done."

        "Cam, I wish we could just say fuck it and be done with all this," Finnick started. "But we can't, and you know why," he told her.

        Cameron shook her head, a frown appearing on her face. "Mitchell didn't deserve this," she grumbled. "Someone, some fucking tribute killed him, and we're just sitting here, wallowing in self-pity. It's ridiculous and dumb. I want out, Finnick," she whispered, digging her hands further into the sand. "I want out of the whole mess."

        Finnick looked around before leaning in, "Cam, what the fuck do you mean by that?" he asked.

        "I mean exactly what I said," she spat, a single tear trailing down the side of her cheek. "Kill me," she said, turning to face him.

        Finnick's eyes widened, "What?" he asked.

        Cameron's eyes were filled with tears by the point, "Kill me, Finnick," she repeated. "Please, there's no point in being here in Mitchell's not."

        "Cam, you're not thinking straight," Finnick said calmly. "Grief, it- it makes people say certain, things, believe me I know. I've been through it. I'm going through it right now but I'm not going to kill you," he said, his eyes never leaving hers.

        Cameron shook her head, "We'll you're gonna have to," she told him. "Because I can't do this, I need you to kill me," she repeated. "Please, please, just kill me."

        "No," Finnick said sharply.

        "Kill me, Finnick, fucking kill me," she hissed, spinning her body so that it was facing his.

        Finnick plunged his trident into the ground, landing mere centimeters away from Cameron's skin. He kneeled down so that his face was inches from hers. Cameron searched his eyes for an indication of what he was thinking, but she couldn't see anything. "If you think I'm going to kill you right now, Cameron, you're wrong. But if you want to go throw your life away, be my guest," he said, straightening back up and facing the water once more.

        Cameron huffed as she brushed the sand off of her wetsuit. "Fine," she said viciously, wiping the tears off of her face. She was too angry to cry anymore. She was angry at whoever decided to kill her best friend. She was angry at Finnick for not putting her out of her misery. She was angry that she might be able to make it out of the arena but Mitch was never able to. She was angry at herself for feeling like this. She was angry at herself for not wanting to fight anymore, for wanting to give up, for wanting to fade away into the darkness and never be seen again. "Maybe I will," she finished, jumping up from her spot on the sand. "Since you clearly don't have the guts too!" she added, continuing to rub salt in the wound.

        "Good!" Finnick said simply, not bothering to turn around her face her.

        "Good!" Cameron retorted, grabbing her crossbow from the ground before she marched off into the distance. She huffed, as she began to clamber into the jungle. 'Why did I have to agree to this stupid fucking deal with Haymitch,' she thought to herself, not bothering to wipe the tears off of her face. 'If I didn't agree to protect the girl on fire then maybe this wouldn't have happened. Maybe I would've just died in peace during the bloodbath at the cornucopia. It probably would've been better, then I wouldn't have to go through all of this. Maybe Mitch would've survived longer too. And Finnick, I can't believe that asshole wouldn't kill me? When I asked him nicely to just plunge his trident into my chest. And he refused? How dare he? I guess I have to do everything myself-' she thought as she continued to trudge through the jungle.

        Cameron scoffed to herself, 'I should've never asked him that. I knew he would think that I was crazy, that I was just guided by grief. That's what they always think.' She drove an arrow into a nearby tree. 'God, this whole thing is so fucking stupid.'

        Cameron was about to walk into a small clearing when she heard a small rustling noise in front of her. She held her breath, waiting to see who or what was in front of her. She heard a hoot of laughter as Oliver Greenwood stumbled into the clearing, Amiria Ihu on his heels. Cameron narrowed her eyes, 'Not these bitches again,' she thought to herself. 'Of course, he's laughing, does he really have nothing better to do than announce his presence to everyone else in the arena.'

        Oliver swung a metal tool over his back as he held up a dead fish. "Look at this Amiria," he said to the other tribute. "I caught it myself, I guess I did learn something from studying the district four tributes," he boasted.

        Amiria pursed her lips, "Right, and I care because?"

        "Because I got us food for the night, obviously," Oliver shot back. "Plus I know that the other tributes aren't going to mess with us anymore."

        Amiria rolled her eyes, "Right, and how did you manage that?" she asked. "The careers would rather go for the two of us instead of the conglomerate of Knight, Odair, Carnett, and the two love birds. They are a fucking force to be reckoned with."

        Oliver scoffed, "Yeah, okay," he said sarcastically. "A force to be reckoned with. Yeah, tell that to Carnett."

        Cameron's nostrils flared, 'There's no way.' she thought to herself, as her grip tightened on her crossbow.

        Amiria narrowed her eyes, "What do you mean by that?" she asked.

        'Yeah, Greenwood, what do you mean by that?' Cameron thought to herself, raising her crossbow slightly. 'Because if it's true. I'm gonna fucking kill you.'

        "He's gone Amiria, dead, you're gonna see his face plastered up in the sky any minute now," Oliver said.

        The knot in Cameron's stomach tightened. 'You can't be serious,' she thought to herself. 'Oliver Greenwood killed Mitch.' Cameron could feel a few tears fall from her face. She took a deep breath, guiding her finger to the trigger of her crossbow.

        "Okay," Amiria said calmly. "And where the hell did you get that?" she asked, eyeing Oliver carefully. Cameron still couldn't see the thing he was holding in his hands. She would try to move closer, but she didn't want to give away her position.

        "This knife?" he asked, brandishing it up in the air. Cameron recognized it instantly, it was Mitch's knife. The knife Cam hand grabbed for him in the cornucopia. "I swiped it off his body before Knight coul- uh." Oliver stopped talking, looking down at his chest. A trickle of blood began to spill from the wound that the arrow left. Oliver fell to the ground, trying to pull the arrow out of his chest. "Amiria, help me," he choked out. "Get this damn arrow out of my-"

        But before Amiria could do anything, Oliver's voice stopped and his body slumped onto the ground, Cameron's arrow still lodged in his chest.

        "Bitch," Cameron muttered wiping a few lone tears off of her face. She dropped her bow to the ground as a canon sound fired above her head.

Say you'll remember me,
standing in a nice dress, staring at the sunset,
babe ☁︎

Grace talks ig: HEYYYYYYY- I finally got around to updating this and I really hope this chapter isn't shitty but who knows lol. Okay, Cam- my poor girl. I actually feel so bad for her, she deserves better, but like at least she got revenge on Flopiver for killing Mitch. But exploring her emotional side and how I think she would deal with grief was honestly really tough because it would just make me sad (which is why I haven't updated for a bit). I just want her to be happy so badly, but I can't do that yet <3 Anyways, I hope you all enjoyed this incredibly sad chapter because I'm honestly kind of proud of it, but idk- uh vote and comment if you enjoyed. BYEEEEEE