Joohyun

Finally.

My dream is coming into fruition, at last.

I just finished giving a talk about my newly released novel and answering questions related to it.

It was a break now, sort of.

I was mindlessly twirling my champagne, lost in the cacophony of chatter when I heard someone beside me.

"Got yourself a great response, huh, babe?"

It was Seulgi, all decked up in a fancy red dress and bold makeup, chewing one long-lasting piece of bubblegum.

She was the one who made this all happen.

My book was, sooner or later, destined to hit the shelves. But finding itself in other people's shelves was something doubtful.
With solid connections and clever marketing schemes, Seulgi made this book launch a piece of cake.

I'll give her that.

"I didn't expect half the amount of people I see here. All due to that old fart's untimely 'demise'."

"What the hell, Seulgi?" I half whispered in mock horror.

Name calling people after their death is undoubtedly cruel. Not that I cared though. It would be bad repute for me if anyone heard that coming from my friend.

"Sorry. Sorry." She held her hands up in defense, giving me a pitiful smirk.

This bitch didn't care either.

"It's just that.. Kim Hoojun was one important tycoon. A pretty fucked up at that," She added with a mischievous smirk.

She wasn't wrong. I knew enough about the degenerate businessman and his ridiculous scandals every other day.

It was a miracle the public didn't take everything about him too harshly. Their company stocks never waned drastically and everything was always under control.

No matter how big the fuck up.

Like there was someone always in charge. Prying, acclimatizing, setting every single problem back at its place.

Like a phantom. Who was in charge of everything.

But it all ended today.

His death was met with mock uproar.

Gone too soon, they said.

Imagine a healthy libidinous man dying from a heart attack.

Too good to be true. I had to laugh at that.

I wonder how Seokjin took the news.

Seokjin.

That name sent goosebumps all over my skin.

I still remember his eyes that night. The way he so easily blinded me with his hot, blazing charm, trapping me within myself.

I will never forget that night.

No matter how much I try, I can never forget that night.

It will always be my secret.

A beautiful, shameless secret.

Mine to remember. Only mine.

Ever since that night, I found myself thinking about him every second of my day.

There was something so magnetic about him. No one had that power over me.

I can't forget the shame I felt while I was walking down the hotel's corridor after I left his room. All spent and satiated.

My after sex glow diminished in one flick of his lighter.

Wallowing in self pity. Too ignorant, in lust.

I always calmed myself thinking that I will eventually get over him. Thinking of myself as one of his everyday conquests. Because at this point, even a disgraceful thought like that could numb my pain of being ignored by him so heartlessly.

I was a literal mess.

"Joohyun." Seulgi patted me gently on the shoulder.

"Hmm."

"It's time to sign your babies up."

I found myself smiling at that. Surely, my books were my babies. Any authors' are.
It's the way she says it. All sassy and sarcastic.

"Let's go." I said, placing my flute on the nearby tray.

The venue was outstanding. Soft drapes and lilies were the core aesthetic. Everything spelled 'serene'.

People started standing in a line, which was heading to my table. Decorated with flowers and stationery.

I was loving this.

This was my element.

Everyone had something nice to say about me or my family.

Rarely about my work. It was an afterthought.

My cheeks were hurting. Saying 'thank you' was becoming tiresome.

Signatures, scribbles, lovely notes, today's date.

It went on and on.

I was close to the finish. The last remnants of my guests were sprinkled in various corners of the room.

This was welcome. I couldn't wait to go home.

As I was signing the last book, I felt it.

That stare.

White, hot, intense.

I knew who it was. But I didn't want to acknowledge it.

It was becoming too much.

I handed the signed copy to the last person, a young boy with freckles and round glasses.

I waved him with a smile. He was more than happy at that.

My face was hot. I was starting to breathe erratically. This was not normal.

It was all because of him.

Slowly. Very slowly, I turned my head to the direction of my suffering.

And everything stilled.

There he was. Nothing less of fabulous. Dressed in a white shirt and tight black pants, he was looking like a wet dream. Hot and irresistible.

He knew I was here.

There was no fucking chance of it being a coincidence.

It was his father's funeral today, for god's sake.

I was confused. Shocked, angry. Desperate.

What's happening to me?

His eyes were hard, relentless. Like he wanted to tear me apart.

There was something so primal in the way he looked at me. I never wanted that to stop.

I don't know for how long. How long I was staring at him for.

Suddenly, he was too close.

I didn't know when he moved.

Or was it me?

We were barely an inch apart. My chest was slightly grazing his.

This wasn't new.

I vividly remember the last time this happened. The emotions I felt.

I was spiralling. Again.

No!

I forcefully shook my head and stepped back.

Apparently, Seokjin anticipated that move and deftly swooped his arm around my waist and fucking pulled me against him.

I let out a gasp.

No. Fuck, no. There are people here!

I tried to get away from his strong grip. His arms had caged me in the most delightfully scary way possible.

I was conflicted.

He was all I wanted then and there. But I didn't want to lose myself again.

I had enough.

"What.." I was really struggling at this point. "..are you doing?" I huffed out.

My exasperation was an amusement to him. It always was.

The bastard had the audacity to enjoy it so blatantly on front of me.

I had nowhere to rest my palms except on those hard planes of his chest.

"Stop.. touching me."

Why wouldn't he leave me?

And why wasnt he saying anything?

I heard a slight chuckle from him.

I looked up at him.

Stop.

"Fucking leave me." I was glaring at him at this point.

This was all a bloody case of déjà vu.

The only difference: we have the possibility of having an audience now.

"This is crazy," he whispered so lowly that I barely heard him.

He bought his lips to my ear, kissed my jaw and lingered there for a whole two seconds.

"It's been barely 6 minutes I have seen you and I already want you in my bed, Joohyun."

This was a joke.

"What the hell?"

I may have been stupid enough to jump up on him and let him claim me for one whole night but this.. This was blunt and disgusting on so many levels.

"Leave. Me. Right. Now."

My voice held a finality to it. I was done with this.

I eventually stopped struggling in his hold. I was calm now.

My eyes were firm on his. He didn't waver his own from me.

I expected him to disobey me or leave me.

But he.. he merely smiled. So sweet and poisoning.

He smiled and kissed me on my cheek with such tenderness. I felt dizzy all of a sudden.

"That's okay, Joohyun."

He let go off me. So easily. Just like when he touched me.

"I didn't want you to say 'yes'."
He said it so sickeningly sweet.

My eyes were being blurry.

Why was I tearing up?

"Atleast not yet."

I wanted to scream. Rip off my hair. The whole place.

He is messing with me!

Everything felt suffocating.

No.

I won't lose myself. No.

"What do you want, Seokjin?"

I was shaking. With embarassment. Fear. I didn't know.

He slipped his hands in his pockets, briefly looked at his feet and raised his eyes up at me.

I couldn't help but find it so boyishly charming.

"It's no secret, Joohyun. I want you. And I know you want me too."

I opened my mouth to retaliate or atleast to tell him off. That what he said was not true. That it was a lie. But I couldn't.

It was no secret. Just like he said.

I just looked at him. My expressionless face, a contradiction to my frazzled nerves.

He continued. " That night.. I couldn't forget it. No matter how many times I tried, I could never forget you. Or your voice."

I was staring at him in utter bewilderment.

I knew he was lying. I wanted to believe he was lying.

But his eyes.. they were so sincere. Dark, brooding, yet sincere.

I wanted to know him..

No.

I wanted him.

And he knew it.

"You made me so fucking crazy that I couldn't think straight for days, Joohyun. It made me so angry. So bad that I thought of having you all for myself. Nobody else."

My face was red. I was blushing, for god's sake.

What is seriously wrong with me?

He was bluntly saying his paranoid fantasies to me and I was thinking of nothing but tearing his clothes off and fucking him all over again.

"See?" His hand was caressing my cheek. It was warm under his touch.

"You know this too. You fucking want this too."

His eyes were darkened. Palpable lust and hot desire swimming in them.

I'm sure my eyes mirrored them too.

"You're crazy. You know that?" I whispered.

He stared, not amused in the least. "So I've been told, babe."

"This is crazy." I said, again.

"I know."

"We don't even know each other."

"I don't care."

I let out a frustrated sigh. This is going nowhere.

"Look... This isn't the place. We need somewhere more.. private to discuss this."

He smirked. I can imagine what he must have thought of. But I was too tired to correct him.

"Sure. Dinner at 8. At my place."

He wasn't asking. He was notifying me.

This is it.

You're done for, Joohyun. Literally.