Joohyun

If I had to kill one person in my whole life, it would be my sweet lovely sister, Areum.

My pride. My joy. My undoing.

Despite Seokjin telling her to not rat me out to our father, she did the exact opposite which resulted in me standing here in front of my father, my whole being wallowed in shame and humiliation. 

"So I get that you will be marrying Kim Seokjin, right Joohyun?" His body was tattered in pride and finality. I wasn't going to escape this now.

"Fath—"

"There is no other excuse you can grace me with after your not-so-discreet liaison with him in my study. I assume it was in the heat of the moment that you couldn't differentiate between logic and emotion after immediately accepting his proposal."

I sealed my lips shut. There was no explanation for that.

Having sex with Kim Seokjin in my father's study room wasn't in the fucking cards. It was all a mistake.

A bloody heat of the moment.

A dapper sexy man was standing before me, coaxing me to marry him. Who could resist that?

I tried. What a joke.

Seeing that I wasn't going to answer anything more to that, my father stood up from his chair and walked out of the living room.

I stood there, suddenly finding my toes interesting. Just then, I heard an annoying voice flitting across the room and I couldn't help but clench my teeth in anger.

Bloody bitch.

"I wasn't going to say anything, Joohyun. He saw me going up to my room and asked me about you two. I had to say it." Areum said sheepishly, standing before me.

Her whole being was irritating to look at now. She looked guilty of her actions but I couldn't make myself fall for that. This wasn't the first time, anyway. I looked at her and scoffed.

"You had one job, Areum and that was to not be a daddy's girl for once." I said and rolled my eyes at her.

"That's enough, Joohyun." Her previous apologetic demeanor, washing away in an instant. "You should have thought better than fucking him at the drop of his hat and that too, in our father's study room."

"Oh for fuck's sake! Stop with your mollycoddling and spare our father in our conversation for once." I raised my hands up in exaperation and scoffed at her. "Daddy this, daddy that.. give me a break."

Saying that, I stormed out of the room and made my way to my house.

My own small independent haven.

I could feel her eyes boring into my back and I stopped at the door to look at her.

"By the way, jealousy doesn't suit you, big sister."

I swear I saw her jaw tick and her pupils dilate. It was so apparent.

My sister was fucking jealous of the fact that Kim Seokjin chose me over her. And that was a bloody first.

I kind of revelled in that small piece of information for I took pleasure in her fall in some twisted sadistic way. Her being a small step beneath me was very rare, in my father's opinion. So whenever that tiny chance arises, I make sure to cherish it as a feat. It was the only thing which kept me afloat in this house and it was kind of worth it.

"Fuck off." Her voice dripped venom and it was no longer hidden.

I simply smirked at her and turned around, leaving the place confidently as my heels clacked on the floor in its wake.

After reaching my home, I don't switch on the lights except the low lights on the ceiling which diffused a warm purple glow in the living room. I simply make myself.. home.

Dark. Quiet. Alone.

People hide in the dark. They quench their thirst in the dark. It is their true self which comes forth when they are lying on the lap of darkness.

An ugly bitter version of themselves. My blatant undoing.

I plopped myself on the sofa and gathered my legs close to me.

Everything... everything was such a mess.

This whole marriage fiasco, my book, my family's behaviour and, last but not the least, Kim Seokjin.

I lazily swirl curvy patterns on my feet, thinking about the magnitude of this all.

The dim lighting of the room gave a ghostly glow to my surroundings, further numbing down my external senses and keeping my thoughts in overdrive.

Each and everyone were hell bent on making my life miserable. They wanted something or the other thing from me, all at the cost of my freedom.

My dreams, my ambitions, my life.. it didnt matter. But that wasnt something new. Deep down, I knew this would happen. If not Seokjin, then someone else. I was bound to get off my family's back someday.

And that day is terribly close.

I felt tears pooling in my eyes but I quickly wiped them down. I steeled myself, running my hand through my hair and got up to pick my phone.

This is bound to happen. So why not jump in?

With no concrete plan in my mind, I started dialing the number I got from my father today. He was livid when I told him I didnt have Seokjin's personal number.

The thought of my father thinking about me as some sort of whore crossed my mind and I felt a huge lump in my throat.

I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't notice that the line connected and I was greeted by a smooth husk of a voice calling my name.

"Joohyun?"

I blinked my eyes and focused myself on the present. He picked up. And I didn't have anything to say.

"Seokjin."

I heard him groan lightly. A few shuffling and a deep breath.

"You called."

At this point, I couldn't control my tears. All of a sudden, I let out a strangled sob and started crying quietly.

"What is it, Joohyun?"

I didn't say anything. I thought that he would listen to me crying for a few seconds and then hang up on me. That's what I always faced anyways.

Surprisingly, he didn't say anything more. He was there, on the call, without uttering a single word. He just heard me crying, sniffling and silently sobbing without telling anything.

It felt good to be heard. At least for once. How many times was it? I was turned a deaf ear just because I was different, totally obnoxious. So when Seokjin listened to me, my voiceless plea without any word to back it up, I felt cared for. Worthy to be listened to.

My sobs slowed down after a few  long minutes and I was lightly sniffling. It was cathartic, to be honest. Pouring myself out to someone without being an ass.

This was new. Definitely welcoming.

After silence from both sides, I had a thought that maybe Seokjin ignored my call and went on with his business, trying not to be rude or something. But then, I heard a light cough from his side and a deep exhale.

"I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to—"

"No problem. Are you feeling better now?"

I felt a small smile crawling up my face. It felt good being asked that.

"Yeah." I paused and said, "Better than I've ever felt."

"That's good." I could feel him smile.

I didn't realise I was grinning myself till I felt my cheeks hurt. After the realization, my smile dropped.

He made me feel something. He made me feel alive. Not just once. Nor twice. Every single time. From the moment we first met to the little time I spent with him till today. Till now. He made me feel other things apart from envy, agony, misery.

It was amazing. This feeling.. it was beautiful. 

I didn't love him. No. This was something far more different  than that. It wasn't as superficial as love.

I despised him but I never felt any sort of animosity towards him. I lusted after him but I was content just being looked at by him. It was always mutual. I really felt that most of the times.

"Seokjin."

"Hmm?"

"Please be honest with me. At least for now."

"What do you want to know?"

I inhaled a sharp breath and clutched my phone tightly. When I spoke, my voice trembled slightly. I didn't like being this vulnerable but I couldn't help myself now.

"Why do you want to marry me?"

Silence.

After a long stretch of it, he spoke,

"At first, I had my reasons. I won't tell them, no matter what. But when I saw you in that house, I felt horrible for you. To be really honest, I want to take you away from them."

My breath hitched.

I felt my chin wobble and a few tears escaped my eyes. Again.

"You don't deserve that."

I scoffed and my cheeks were wet with hot angry tears.

"Didn't you say that I was stupid, unworthy of everything that I accomplished till now?"

I heard him let out a sigh.

"I lied."

My heart clenched at that.

"You what?"

"You heard me. I lied. I felt conflicted by you. You weren't what I anticipated. You made me lose control like nothing else and I felt angry at that. The only way to steer myself clear of you was to make you hate me." He sighed. "And it worked. But I wasn't that fucking shallow. I wanted you. And I wanted you so fucking bad. No amount of booze, money or drugs made me sane. I must sound crazy but that's what you did. You always do that, Joohyun."

I was speechless. I couldn't formulate my thoughts.. they were in a maze, all jumbled and mismatched. The only words which echoed in my brain were Seokjin's words..

'I wanted you.'

'I wanted you so bad.'

"So, no matter what you think of me..what you feel towards me. I don't care. I just want you for myself and away from that pathetic family of yours."

I chuckled at that. My nose was blocked due to my crying and I lightly sniffled.

"That's so selfish of you, Seokjin."

"Fuck that."

I couldn't help but smile at that.

I took a deep breath and fiddled with the fabric of my dress.

"Fine." I murmured.

"Sorry? I couldn't catch that."

"I will marry you. But I want to tell you one thing."

"Go on." I could distinctly hear the amusement in his voice.

"You will not be a hindrance to my work. Or anything related to it. I don't want to jeopardize my identity by marrying you and I hope you will respect that. Is that fine with you?"

I was greeted by silence at the other end. For a moment, I thought he would disconnect. Or worse, laugh at my face and cut the call.

I heard him smirk then.

"One week."

"What?"

"I'll give you one week. Till then, you are free to enjoy your bachelorette. After that, there will be no excuse. You're mine after that."

I smiled.

"I'm thinking you don't want me that much as you claim yourself to."

"What do you mean?"

"A week is too long." I paused. "Two days. I want to marry you in two days. If that is alright with you, I'm game."

After a full five seconds, I heard his voice, husky and luscious.

"There must be a reason I like you, Joohyun. Two days. That's it."

I clenched my thighs, an unbearable heat coursing through my body. The fact that it wasn't a whole twenty fours since I last had sex with him and I craved for him like crazy wasn't lost on me.

"Goodnight, Seokjin."

He simply chuckled and exhaled. I assumed he was smoking.

"Goodnight, darling. Have the sweetest dreams."

Hearing that, I smiled and disconnected the call. My whole body was humming with a fresh new vigour and I felt calm for some reason.

I never anticipated this part of my life with someone like Kim Seokjin but I sensed a sort of peace remembering his words.

His warm honey sweet words, laced with desire and unflinching honesty, always hit my heart in hard thumps. His sheer transparency with me, whether it suited my ears or not, was his strong point.

Seokjin was fearless, to the point he was a master of his trade and supremely dealt with it in an upper hand.

It will be difficult living with him but nothing is impossible. I can take it as a sweet loving challenge and facing challenges was nothing new to me.