Author's Note

Hi! Ito na po ang wakas pero hindi pa rito nagtatapos ang istorya nila Dax at Tri. Magkakaroon po ng novella ang Twisted by Wild which I will write and update soon. Thank you for reading! I hope you've learned something good from this story. A little help means everything to someone who needs it. Always choose to be kind. And if no one hasn't told you this yet, hear me— it's not too late to chase your own dreams and be the person you always want to become. Go and run wildly. I believe in you.

See you next at TBW Novella: Happy Ever After and Wild Series #7: Her Wild Beat

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Wakas (Part 1)

Face like a princess, eyes like an angel, lips like Cupid's bow, ivory skin like it was a gift from a Greek deity, a nose that could possibly win for having the perfect shape, dark brown hair with ravishing wavy ends, and a height usually uncommon for girls in town but it only emphasizes of how regal she could be by just standing. Her deep and rich voice—both in a sexy and sophisticated way—could make any boys our age, or even older than us, to their knees.

Trishastrea Yael Delavin is not a literal princess who lives in a guarded castle in England, however, she is treated like one in our town. Other than her celestial beauty, she was also known for her pedigree which gave way for the people in town to start picturing her and her family as royal ones—not by any literal means.

Her father, Alessandro Delavin, is one of the bonafide active benefactors of the eldest church here who paved the way for the people in town to admire him for that. Our neighbors usually tattle about how Alessandro Delavin is the luckiest man to ever live because he wasn't only gifted with wealth but also of a good heart. While his wife, Trinita Delavin, is no less like him. And with that, Trishastrea—or Tri in her family and relatives—and her parents were treated and perceived like they were the most notable people in Cavite.

And, you know what? They aren't quite wrong about that. Because the first time I saw Trishastrea, I knew from then that she deserved to be treated like a princess—not just because of her name and background, but because...

I don't know. I just feel like it.

I was thirteen turning fourteen when I first met her—or more like first saw her because we never spoken to each other. Hula ko nga at hindi niya nakikita o nararamdaman man lang ang presensiya ko kapag malapit ako sa kaniya. She's snob, they say. But for me, she isn't. She's just a little... elusive.

It's understandable if she's like that. I know I could never understand how it feels to grow up in a caged mansion with no other people your age to play with or talk with, kaya naman we're in no position to judge her if she grows up having no social skills. Or sadyang ayaw niya lang talagang makipag-usap sa mga tao? I know some people like that—particularly my little sister. Denisse is years younger than me and she grew up to be elusive because of her shyness, but behind those anxious eyes she shows to the world, she really does have extraordinary communication skills for someone her age. Perhaps Tri is just like my little sister. People like them tend to only wear the embellishments outside to protect themselves from whatever might hurt them and wear them off when they are in a place they are comfortable.

I'm not saying Tri could plausibly take off her mask around me, but it doesn't cost any penny to fantasize about how it feels to enter her world. Who is she behind those embellishments she's been wearing all these years?

"Huwag ka diyan. Pwesto 'yan ni Trishastrea."

Nakapila kami ngayon sa quadrangle at nakaharap sa flag pole para sa Flag raising ceremony ngayong umaga. Hindi araw-araw ay ginagawa namin ito kaya naman tuwing lunes ay pumapasok ako ng maaga para lang mauna sa pila. Tuwing ganitong mga panahon lang din ko kasi nakikita si Trishastrea. Madalas kasi ay nasa loob lang siya ng classroom at kung dadaan man siya sa labas ng classroom namin ay mabilis lang din.

We're on the same age and grade level, we're also both studying in a public school—which remains an enigma to me because she came from one of the richest family in town yet she's studying in a public school. Ang sabi ni mama sa'kin noon ay dahil gusto ng mga magulang ni Trishastrea na ma-experience ng anak nila ang totoong buhay sa public school. But I don't think that's the real reason. Para sa isang magulang na lumaking mayaman at mamamatay na mayaman, tingin ko ay wala sa bokabularyo nila ang maranasan ng kanilang anak ang buhay sa isang pampublikong paaralan. Unless it's some scheme they're trying to make using their own kid.

"'Yan na. Dadaan na ang prinsesa." Bulong na sambit ng kaklase ko at naiinis ako sa pang-aasar na tono nila.

Wearing the female's uniform—a white blouse with black and white stripe ribbon, dark blue under-knee skirt, and white quarter socks paired with very shiny black one-inch shoes—she struts her way toward the space between my class and hers. She wears the same clothes as the others yet she still unawarely stands out among the rest. Maybe it is the way her chin is up, her lips stiff and straight, her eyes not wandering anywhere but the front, and her walk that screams confidence and authority. At the age of fourteen, she already created an impression for herself. Others—like me—admire her for her confidence and intelligence. While the rest dislike her for the reasons they find her snob and intimidating. Well, she's really intimidating as a teen,—I don't know if it's just me—but it seems like there's more to her than the impassive expression she's showing to the world.

"Buo na naman ang araw ni Sernio." Hiyaw ng kaklase ko sa'king likod nang dumaan si Trishastrea sa harapan ko.

I almost shut my eyes in hypnotization by her sweet scent. She smells like cotton candy. And the world around us felt like—for a while—moved in slow motion when she walked right in front of me. Everything faded—the sound of our surroundings, the air we were breathing, and even the sight of everyone around. For a split second, I almost believed that she was Aphrodite's reborn.

She's beautiful. Too perfect. Too above average that it hurts sometimes to think that I can never reach her level.

Kahit lumagpas na siya sa pwesto ko ay sinundan ko pa rin siya ng tingin hanggang sa tumayo siya sa pinakaunahan. Siya ang pinakamatangkad na babae sa kanilang section ngunit siya pa rin ang nasa unahan.

I've liked her since the first day my eyes met hers. Totoo, nagkaroon na kami ng eye-to-eye contact, but I can't guarantee that she remembers it. Mabilis lang din naman iyon at hindi pa nga siguro tumagal ng limang segundo. It happened almost a year ago. Nag-e-enrol ako kasama si mama nang makita ko siyang nakatayo sa harap ng kanilang sasakyan. I still can clearly remember how she stood as a prim and proper lady—hands on both of her sides and face controlled as she listened to her parents speak with the principal. She was dressed in a lavender dress and white heels shoes that almost seemed like she came out straight from a doll house.

Simula noon, hindi na siya natanggal sa isip ko. Popular sa lugar namin ang mga Delavin at naririnig ko na noon pa man ang pangalan ng nag-iisang heridera na si Trishastrea, pero noong isang taon ko lang siya nakita nang personal. I heard words of how regal her beauty is. Noong una ay ayaw kong maniwala, ngunit nang ako na mismo ang nakakita sa kaniya, walang duda, maganda talaga siya.

"Sana ngumiti naman siya kahit isang beses lang." Nelma, our vice president in our class, said.

Kumunot ang aking noo. Totoo at hindi palangiti si Trishastrea at madalas namin siyang nakikita na nakabusangot. Ang kalahating populasyon ng kalalakihan sa school ay hinahangaan siya ngunit hindi sila naglalakas loob na kausapin at lapitan man lang siya dahil natatakot sila sa kaniya. At, ulit, totoo iyon. She has this everyday look like she's ready to feast on whoever dares to talk to her. Kahit ako ay hindi nagkakaroon ng kapal ng mukha para harapin siya at kausapin siya kahit saglit lang. Hindi dahil sa natatakot ako kundi dahil alam ko ang malaking pagkakaiba naming dalawa.

She's a princess in our town, I'm just merely a teenage boy who lives in a normal house. I am nothing compared to her. Not that there's any need to compare me to her, it's just that we're immensely different from each other and I don't think I'll ever be deserving to have a conversation with her. More so, to be her friend.

Kaya hanggang ngayon, kahit nangangati akong lapitan siya at tapangan ang sarili ko na kausapin siya, natatalo pa rin ako ng hiya ko. Kahit gwapo ako at matalino rin, nakakahiya pa rin kung tatabi ako sa isang prinsesang katulad niya.

"Sabi ni nanay may binili raw na kabayo galing ibang bansa ang mga magulang niya para sa fifteenth birthday niya next year." Tsismis ni Jael—ang dalawa niyang magulang ay nagtatrabaho sa farm ng mga Delavin.

"Wow. Talaga? Ang swerte naman niya. Sana all na lang talaga."

The Delavin's owns the largest farm in town but that's not their only business; they also own supermarkets with eight branches as of now, luxurious farm villas, and I heard that her parents will soon launch a Filipino cuisine restaurant. The Delavin's is a prominent family in town with their deceased politician ancestors who reigned during '40s to '90s. May bali-balita pa na kahit noong panahon ng mga Kastila ay isa na sa pinakamayamang pamilya ang mga Delavin. They are old money. And with that, we can conclude that I can never have a chance to her. Kahit mag-confess man lang ng nararamdaman ko para sa kaniya ay imposible dahil sa magkaibang estado naming dalawa.

"Tigilan n'yo na nga ang pag-uusap tungkol kay Tri. Magsisimula na ang flag ceremony." Sita ko.

Nelma looked at me with a glare. "Close kayo?" She asked sarcastically, pertaining to how I called Trishastrea by her nickname.

I only made a face and ignored her. She's one of the many students who dislike Tri just because she was born differently from us. I get that they are insecure, but I don't understand why they have to hate her just because they have a one-sided issue with her. Is it her fault that she's pretty and rich and they are not?

Muli kong sinulyapan si Tri na nasa unahan ng pila at tuwid na nakatayo. Nakalugay ang kaniyang buhok at walang ibang palamuti na nakalagay. She's not also wearing any makeup or even a lip tint that makes the girls really insecure. Dahil kahit hindi siya maglagay ng kung ano-ano sa mukha niya, she's still effortlessly stunning. Still the center of attention.

Sa ganitong mga panahon ko lang siya napagmamasdan ng matagal dahil pagkatapos ng flag ceremony ay hindi na naman siya lalabas ng classroom nila. Minsan dumadaan ako sa classroom nila para makasilay lang kahit ilang saglit. Tuwing lunch naman ay bibili lang siya saglit sa canteen tapos babalik na ulit sa classroom. Kapag nasa library naman ay natatakluban lagi ang mukha niya ng mga librong binabasa o 'di kaya ay nakayuko siya dahil may sinusulat. And for the past year, I never had seen her use a phone. Wala rin siyang social media accounts—dahil minsan ko nang hinanap ang facebook account niya pero wala namang lumalabas, or kaya private lang. Pero siya rin kasi ang tipo ng babae at anak na hindi papayagan ng mga magulang na igugol ang panahon niya sa cellphone.

Nalulungkot kaya siya? O masaya siya dahil tahimik ang buhay na mayroon siya?

I have no idea.

"Tama na, Dax! Kung yelo lang si Trishastrea, natunaw na 'yan!" Siniko ako ng kaibigan ko kaya naman naagaw niya ang atensiyon ko.

"Manahimik ka—" umamba akong sasakalin siya nang sitahin kami ng aming adviser.

"Sernio! Face the front! Wala ka man lang paggalang sa Watawat ng Pilipinas!" Galit na sigaw ni Ma'am sa'kin.

Hindi ako nahiya nang pagtinginan ako ng ibang estudyante dahil madalas naman akong pinagsasabihan ng adviser namin pero gusto kong suntukin ang kaibigan kong nang-aasar akong nginingisian dahil hindi siya nakita ng aming adviser.

Ibinalik ko ang tingin sa harapan at muling natanaw si Trishastrea na hindi man lang lumingon nang isigaw ni Ma'am ang pangalan ko.

Well, she doesn't care. That's it.

"Psst! Dax!"

Kalahating araw na agad ang nakalipas nang huli kong makita si Tri at pakiramdam ko ay wala na akong gana sa lahat. Syempre biro lang 'yon. Pero masisisi ba ang isang binata na umiibig lamang sa isang babae na hindi niya abot kahit anong pilit ilahad ang kamay—

Napatalon ako sa gulat nang mayroong matigas na bagay ang humampas sa braso ko. Ang una kong nakita nang bumalik ako sa realidad ay ang matalim na tingin sa'kin ng aming Filipino teacher na ang suot niyang salamin ay nasa ilong na.

Mabilis akong umayos sa'king pagkakaupo at tahimik na kunwaring nakinig. Hindi nagtagal ay binalingan ko ang kaibigan kong si Leo na siyang nanghampas sa'kin ng libro. I glare at him in warning but he only pouted.

"What the hell, man? Gusto mo ng kiss? Ilang beses ko na bang sinabi sa'yo na hindi kita papatulan dahil straight ako. Straight!" Naisigaw ko ang huling salita dahil sa frustration.

"May problema ba tayo, Sernio?"

Napapikit ako at dahan-dahang ibinalik ang tingin sa guro sa unahan. Magalang akong umiling at mabilis niya rin naman akong inignora. I returned my attention to my friend and found him glaring back at me.

"Kahit ikaw na lang ang tao sa mundo, hinding-hindi kita hahalikan. Kahit ikaw pa ang tanging paraan para maligtas ako sa pagwawakas ng mundo, hinding-hindi kita hahalikan." He hissed.

Ngumiwi ako. I was just joking but he took it seriously.

"Leo, nagbibiro lang ako."

Ginaya niya ang ekspresyon ko at may tinuro sa bintana. Sinundan ko iyon ng tingin at agad nanlaki ang aking mga mata. Medyo malayo kami sa bintana pero hindi ako pwedeng magkamali sa nakikita ko.

Nasa labas ng classroom namin si Trishastrea!

"Halikan mo ang paa ko mamaya dahil ako ang nagsabi sa'yo na nasa labas ang crush mo..."

Hindi ko pinansin ang sinasabi ni Leo at patagong gumapang papuntang kabilang row kung saan ay mayroong isang bakanteng upuan dahil absent ang nakaupo rito. Tinignan ako ng dalawa kong kaklase na nakakunot ang noo pero nginitian ko lang sila at umupo sa bakanteng silya. Hindi ako napansin ni Ma'am dahil busy siya sa pagbabasa ng kung anong kwento sa unahan.

I turned my head around to see Trishastrea in a different uniform now. Nakasuot na siya ngayon ng P.E uniform namin—kulay dark blue ang pants at kulay puti ang t-shirt with the logo of our school. Naka-ponytail din ang kaniyang buhok gamit ang isang kulay green na ribbon. She must like green.

May hinihintay 'ata siya siya dahil nang umikot siya para salubungin ang P.E teacher nila ay naglakad na silang sabay  paalis. I smiled like an idiot, assuming she would turn her gaze on my side and see me but she didn't. Still, I smiled dreamily as I watched her walked. Hanggang sa unti-unti na siyang nawala sa abot ng paningin ko.

"Sernio, mukhang nakakawili ang iyong pinapanood sa labas. Baka naman maaari mong ibahagi iyan sa klase?"

Bumalot ang sarkastikong boses ni Ma'am sa buong klasrum. Nahihiya akong bumaling sa unahan at natakot nang sumalubong sa'kin ang gigil na gigil na mukha ni Ma'am.

"Sorry po, Ma'am, may nakita—"

"Mas importante ba 'yan sa tinuturo ko?"

'Di pa nga ako tapos magsalita, e. Hindi na lang ako sumagot dahil alam kong mali pa rin ako—at alam kong mali naman talaga ako. It's disrespectful to the teacher, but what can I do? Dumaan ang crush ko sa classroom namin sa oras niya.

"Huling warning mo na 'to, Donato. Kapag nahuli pa kitang nasa labas ang tingin o nakikipag-usap sa katabi mo, didiretso ka ng guidance office."

That's why for the rest of the afternoon, I kept my mouth shut. Nakikita ko ang pang-aasar ni Leo sa'kin sa tuwing tinatawag ako ni Ma'am para mag-recite. I thank my parents for giving me the brains dahil kahit hindi ako nakikinig, nakakasagot ako. How is that possible? I also don't know.

Muli akong sumulyap sa labas pagkatapos ng maikling pagsusulit namin at nahuli na naman ako ni Ma'am kahit sinubukan kong huwag magpahuli. Ba't ba ang talas ng mga mata nito? Nakasalamin pa, e, mukha namang kaya niyang makita ang mga estudyante niya kahit nasa dulo pa ng mundo.

"Sernio! Gusto mo bang lumabas? Kung hindi ka interesado sa klase ko, you are free to go out and never attend my classes again."

Napakamot ako sa'king batok.

"Sorry, Ma'am! Natulala lang po. At 'wag naman po kayong ganiyan. Bilis n'yo magtampo, eh." Pagbibiro ko.

Bakit laging sinasabi ng mga teachers na pwede kaming lumabas pero 'wag na babalik? Hindi ba pwedeng option na lang 'yun araw-araw?

Dismayado at pagod na umiling sa'kin si Ma'am habang humagalpak sa tawa ang mga kaklase ko. I smiled sheepishly.

"Pass your papers!" Galit na sigaw ni Ma'am at walang paalam na lumabas dahil nabadtrip siya sa'kin at sa seksyon namin.

I shrugged it off.

And I spent the rest of the week trying to take a glimpse of the princess only to fail. Kaya naman sa araw ng Sabado kung kailan kukuha si mama ng mga gulay sa Hacienda Delavin ay sumama ako. Madalas ay si papa ang sinasama ni mama sa pagkuha ng gulay noon sa farm ng mga Delavin ngunit ako na ang sumasama kay mama simula nang mag-binata ako.

Gusto kong tulungan si mama sa pagbubuhat ng mga gulay dahil ayaw kong nahihirapan siya pero bukod sa rason na iyon kung bakit ako sumasama ay mayroon pang isa. Gusto kong makita si Trishastrea.

"Dito ka lang saglit." Ani mama at sumunod kay tatang upang kunin ang pinareserve ni mama na mga gulay.

Umupo ako sa likod ng oner namin at malayong pinagmasdan ang isa sa mga pinakamagandang babaeng nakilala ko sa mundong ito—una syempre ang nanay ko.

She's standing in her balcony's room like she's some royal princess overlooking the crowd who cheers for her name, only that she's facing their farm instead. Madalas siya sa pwestong iyan sa tuwing pumupunta ako rito. Minsan ay lumalabas siya at binibisita ang kanilang orchards ngunit hindi niya naman ako napapansin dahil na rin laging nakabuntot sa kaniya ang kaniyang yaya at bodyguard. May pagkakataon din na naaabutan ko siyang nagbabasa ng libro sa balkonahe kung hindi nagmamasid. Her expression whenever she's reading is etched on my memory. I like how her brows creased in a beautiful line as though she's on edge of arguing with the book for whatever it says that she oppose.

I wonder what genres of literature she reads. Sinong favorite author niya? Is she more to Shakespearean books? Robert Frost's poetries? O mahilig siya sa Filipino literature? Jose Rizal's works? Mga nobela ni Francisco Balagtas?

I really, really want to know her... only if I could.

"Donato! Halika na rito at tulungan mo ako!"

Mabilis akong tumalon mula sa likod ng oner at tumakbo palapit kay mama. Kinuha ko sa kaniya ang isang basket ng gulay at hindi man lang ako nabigatan.

"Kanina pa kita tinatawag. Ano bang tinitignan mo roon?" Tanong ni mama habang papalapit kami sa oner dala ang mga gulay.

Hindi nila alam na may gusto ako sa anak ng mga Delavin at hindi na rin naman nila kailangang malaman iyon. For them, this is just an infatuation normal for boys my age. And I'm well aware that this isn't something I could consider deeper than crush, but... I don't know, I only have eyes for her. Kahit ang ibang babae na magaganda ay hindi ko man lang matipuhan dahil sa kaniya.

And just like clockwork, we exited their hacienda after we got the crops. And I am left daydreaming again about her—how her hair is swayed by the soft blow of wind, her dress hugging her body, her olive skin being kissed by the sunlight, and the adorable expression she wears whenever reading.

Madalas ko siyang nakikita sa simbahan tuwing Linggo pero lagi silang nasa unahan umuupo kaya kaunti lang din ang nananakaw kong sulyap sa kaniya. And I can't keep myself from admiring her for how elegant and sophisticated she stand, walk, and face other people. However, I find it weird because I've never seen her speak with her parents nor even with the other people. Laging nakatikom ang kaniyang bibig at walang emosyon ang mukha sa tuwing lalabas ng simbahan. It's like she was trained to do it. And she seems to not like it at all.

"Just bring her there. Kunwari ay 'di namin alam parehas na dadalhin n'yo kami sa wedding booth." I told Leo.

It's Foundation Day today—and we're already in our eighth grade—at maraming pakulo ang SSG sa buong araw na ito. And that includes the wedding booth that is very popular in the lower grades like us. Dalawang taon na ang nakakalipas simula nang magkagusto ako kay Trishastrea at hanggang ngayon ay hindi iyon nagbabago.

But, there are a few changes for my second year of admiring her from afar. Dahil ngayong araw, gusto ko nang makausap siya. I want to try my chance on her. As a friend, of course.

"What are you thinking? Ayoko nga. Baka mamaya isumbong ako niyan sa tatay niya." Reklamo ni Leo.

I made a face and feign a moping expression. "Hindi ko siya nakausap ni isang beses noong isang taon. At ngayon lang siya lumabas ng classroom dahil Foundation day. This is my chance!"

Tuwing mga ganitong okasyon sa school lang kasi siya lumalabas ng classroom nila at dahil ginagawang jail ang library tuwing Foundation Day, wala siyang ibang pupuntahan kundi maggala-gala sa loob ng school. Sa katunayan pa nga ay nakita ko siyang naglalakad sa gilid ng SHS building. Lalapitan ko sana kaso may kumausap sa kaniyang teacher.

"Ba't ayaw mong ikaw ang kumausap sa kaniya? Sabihin mo pakasal na kayo. O 'di kaya magbayad ka ng limang piso doon sa confession booth sa stage para malaman ng lahat." Suhestiyon niya.

I cringed. "That's corny." At hindi ako marunong gumawa ng confession letter.

"And you think bringing you two in the marriage booth and acting like you didn't know isn't corny?"

Point taken.

Napaisip ako bigla. Hays. Masyado na 'ata akong nagiging padalos-dalos dahil sa kagustuhan kong mapansin ako ni Trishastrea. But I should know better. Isa lang ako sa kalahating populasyon ng mga lalaki sa escuelahan namin na nagkakagusto sa kaniya. The chances of her noticing me by my looks is very slim. Kahit gwapo ako at matangkad, hindi naman ako ang pinaka-gwapo at matangkad sa school. Lalo na narinig ko noong isang araw na may gusto sa kaniya ang captain ng men's volleyball team. Not that Tri would acknowledge him—she never acknowledged anyone for the record. Siguro nga ay mga kaklase niya lang din ang nakakausap niya minsan.

Siguro nga wala nang ibang paraan para mapansin ako ni Tri.

"Is it true that you have a crush on Trishastrea?"

Sabay kaming napatalon sa gulat ni Leo nang sumulpot ang kaklase naming babae sa gitna namin. Matagal bago ko naproseso ang sinabi ni Bridget. Unti-unting lumiwanag ang mga mata ko nang tuluyan nang naproseso ang tanong niya.

Ba't niya alam na may gusto ako kay Tri? Nakarating ba kay Trishastrea na gusto ko siya?

I smiled widely.

"Yes. Sinabi niya ba sa'yo—"

"Wala kang pagasa sa kaniya. You're pathetic." Ani 'to at nag-walkout.

Umawang ang labi ko para magsalita pero walang lumabas.

Shock and confusion. That's what I felt.

"What is that?" Naguguluhan kong tanong sa mga kaibigan ni Bridget na naiwan.

"May crush na sa'yo si Bridget simula pa noong grade 7 tayo pero 'di ko alam sa'yo at mas nagugustuhan mo pa ang babaeng hindi ka naman pinapansin." Sagot ni Adora, ang best friend ni Bridget.

I was confused again.

And so? Ano ngayon kung hindi ako pinapansin ni Trishastrea? Rason ba 'yon para hindi ko siya magustuhan?

"Mataray si Trishastrea samantalang sobrang bait ni Bridget pero," they all sighed in disappointment and walked out in sync.

Napakamot ako sa ulo. I don't understand them. Are they trying to make a parody of a famous Mean Girls movie I have no idea that actually exists in the film industry or what?

Leo tapped my shoulders. "Hirap maging gwapo."

"Wait! I don't understand it." Naguguluhan pa rin ako.

Napailing na lang sa'kin si Leo at hinila ako papunta sa mga food stalls.

"Stop obsessing over someone who doesn't even know you. We're only fifteen, Dax."

I sighed. Yeah. Fifteen and yet I feel like I'm already in love.

Bridget is right. I'm pathetic.

Kaya naman sa mga nagdaan pang taon, mas lalong naging malabo ang pagasa kong makausap si Trishastrea kahit ilang saglit man lang. Junior Prom and she didn't attend. I searched for her in the crowd and even tried prying a word from her classmates only to hear that she's not attending. Hanggang sa mag-Senior High School kami, kahit nasa iisang paaralan pa rin kami, hindi pa rin ako nagkaroon ng tsansa na makausap siya. I'm starting to believe that I'm such a coward, but then I remember that Trishastrea Yael Delavin is really intimidating. Not in a terror way, but in a way that it scares most people to talk to her because she's too far high for our level.

And I must admit that there was no day during Senior High that I didn't imagined of finally talking to her. Umasa pa ako minsan na baka maging magkaklase kami kaso ABM ang strand na kinuha niya samantalang nasa STEM ako. What worse was we're two floors apart. Nasa first floor ang classroom namin samantalang nasa third floor ang kanila. Kaya naman tuwing flag ceremony ko lang siya nakikita ng matagalan at kung minsan kapag napapadaan siya sa labas ng classroom namin.

I joined the basketball team when I was in grade 11 hoping that she could finally take notice of me, but I realized, she wasn't really into sports—moreso into sporty guys. Tuwing Intramurals umaasa ako na manonood siya sa laro ko dahil required ang lahat ng students na manood kaso wrong timing lagi dahil nasa library siya madalas at tinitrain ng journalism adviser nila.

It's pathetic to like someone for over five years yet I can't make myself look into someone else. Sinubukan kong makipag-flirt at manligaw pero wala man lang tumatagal ng dalawang linggo ang relasyon at pagkagusto ko sa kanila. I still end up looking for this particular snob girl who doesn't even know me.

I almost gave up when we graduated Senior High School. Gusto kong aminin sa kaniya ang nararamdaman ko sa kaniya simula pa lang noong grade seven kami pero hindi ko rin nagawa dahil umuwi agad siya kasama ng kaniyang mga magulang. Madalas ko siyang nakikita na dumadalo sa Laro ng Bayan tuwing fiesta pero hindi ko rin naman malapitan dahil napapalibutan siya ng mga bodyguard.

And it was hard storing all these emotions inside me and not being able to tell them out loud to her. It was frustrating and, at the same time, painful.

I planned on finally forgetting her when I stepped on college only for the universe to play with me because I learned that Trishastrea is attending the same university as me. Alam kong malaki ang unibersidad namin ngunit hindi iyon naging dahilan para mawalan ako ng pagasa na balang-araw ay makakausap ko siya at malalaman niya rin ang nararamdaman ko para sa kaniya.

"Kung may range rover lang din ako sureball nang marami ring babae ang hahabol sa'kin." Biro ko at tinapik ang hood ng sasakyan ni Archie.

Archibald Benjie Trinidad is my long-lost brother—kidding. But, seriously, for the past two years we've known each other—because we've been bloc mates since first year—I already consider him my best friend. And although he wasn't much of a talker, I believe that he feels the same thing. I could proclaim that he considers me his best friend. For years, I got to know him as though his whole life was played in film strips inside my head. And I got to share a lot of personal stuff with him as well—including my unwavering admiration towards Trishastrea Yael Delavin since I was thirteen.

He knows her. Actually, everyone knows who Trishastrea Yael Delavin is. Like what our community titled her, she's the princess of Cavite. Kung may mga taong hindi siya nakikilala sa pangalan, pamilyar naman ang mukha niya. At kung may mga taong hindi pamilyar sa mukha niya, popular naman ang pangalan niya.

And sometimes, it's hard to believe that I've been in the same school as her for almost eight years already. I consider myself lucky for that.

"Shut up," natatawang sagot ni Archie at pumasok sa driver seat.

Sumunod ako sa kaniya sa loob at kahit ilang beses na akong nakasay sa range rover niya, hindi pa rin ako makapaniwala na may mga tao talagang pinanganak na mayaman. Sa tuwing iniikot ko ang paningin sa kabuuan ng sasakyan niya, mapapaisip na lang ako minsan kung bakit hindi ako pinanganak na kasing yaman niya.

Sinandal ko ang aking likod sa back rest at nilapag ang duffel bag sa kandungan ko. We're heading now to the gymnasium to practice for the upcoming University Games Week.

"Gustong sumabay ni Geraldine. Bro, ang manhid mo naman kung hindi mo napapansin na may gusto sa'yo 'yon." Pang-aasar ko sa kaniya.

It was always me and Archie since first year, however, Geraldine—our girl classmate—has this habit to always tagging along with us. I don't have any problem with that, honestly, because as far as everyone knows, I'm friendly. Pero minsan hindi na nakakatuwa ang pagiging epal ni Geraldine. Katulad na lang kanina, gusto niya raw sumabay kay Archie at maglakad na lang daw ako papuntang gymnasium. Like, come on, I don't understand. Sabihin na nating kaibigan ang tingin ko sa kaniya pero iniisip niya ba talaga na ako ang magiging tulay niya kay Archie? That's just a big no for me. I am no bridge to any girl obsessing over Archie.

"Stop spitting nonsense." Suplado niyang untag ngunit nakangisi naman.

Archie is a playboy if that's not obvious to the world. He probably likes the idea of girls parading after him, all the more being told that he's such a pretty boy with a lot of pretty girls. He's my best friend and I accept him in spite of that, but I wish he could find someone someday who could play with him on his own game and make him taste his own medicine. Not that I want my best friend hurt, but the idea of him finally being committed to someone he really likes is such a view. I'm looking forward to that.

"Malay mo si Geraldine pala talaga ang para sa'yo."

He only flipped me off and I laughed so hard.

Pagpasok namin ng gymnasium ay agad kong inikot ang paningin sa bleachers at nagbaka sakaling makikita ko si Tri kahit malabo. Hindi naman 'yon lumalabas ng building nila—

Natigil ako sa gitna ng court nang matanaw ang isang babae na may mahabang buhok. She's wearing the same uniform as the others yet—like always—she still stands out among the rest. Trishastrea is sitting on the third row of bleachers near the exit. The universe must be in chaos now because she's here when she's supposedly sitting in the library or wherever she always kills time. Or maybe fate is finally twisted and she's really meant to be here. To be in the same place as me at the same time.

"I know what's running in your head. Iniisip mo siguro na nakatadhana kayo kasi nakita mo siya ngayon dito." Demonyong bulong ni Archie sa gilid ko.

Hindi ko siya pinansin at pinanood kung paano tumayo si Tri mula sa pagkakaupo at naglakad papuntang exit.

Teka! Lalabas na agad siya?!

Naalarma agad ako at hindi ko alam kung bakit ako nagtatakbo sa exit. At nang lalabas na siya ay hinarangan ko siya. She looked at me in the eyes with impassive expression.

My heart went wild. My surroundings blurred. And the sound of everything volume down. All I know is that Trishastrea, the girl I had a crush on since I was thirteen, is staring right into my eyes. I quirked my lips to smile but it halted instantly when she walked past me.

It took me a while to fully process what happened and I turned around only to see her already far from me.

"Ano na, Dax?! Magsisimula na ang laro!"

Bumagsak ang dalawa kong balikat at walang ganang nilagay ang duffel bag sa locker room bago ako bumalik sa court. We were face to face, eye to eye, and our distance was so closed, yet she just walked past me without a single word.

God, I'm so pathetic and desperate.

"It's normal to get heartbroken for every once in a while." Archie jested.

I frowned at him. "I'm already rejected even before I got to confess."

"Come on, man. That's not rejection." Aniya at inakbayan ako.

"Will you stop giving me words of affirmation? It's not believable when I know damn well your reputation."

He smirked at me. Jerk.

Sabay kaming pumasok ng locker room dahil ayaw na naming makihalubiho sa mga babaeng nagbabaan ng bleachers para lapitan ang mga players. Archie and I tried out together when we were first year and we both got in the team. Iyon din ang isa sa mga dahilan kung bakit kami naging sobrang malapit. Dahil bukod sa classroom, nagkikita rin kaming dalawa sa mga practice. And I must admit that Archie is really more skilled and smarter than me, at marami akong natututunan sa kaniya kahit magkasing edad lang kaming dalawa. Except for the topic of love, he's not really good at that. He's not unsentimental, but he's not a love guy as well.

"It's just... she's apathetic."

Inalis ko ang kaniyang braso sa'king balikat at binalingan siya. He's my best friend but I don't like it when people say things about Trishastrea that aren't true. She may not be interested in me, but that doesn't make her apathetic.

"She's not apathetic." I gave emphasis to the term.

"I was just joking." He raised both hands in a gesture of surrender.

Umiling na lang ako. I know he's joking but still.

The day University Games Week took place, everyone was watching on the court. And that includes Tri. Siya agad ang nakita ko paglabas ko ng locker room. She's sitting on the front row near the court and knowing myself well, I can't let this day slip without impressing her. I did my best to run in front of her, dribble in front of her, and shoot in front of her. Luckily, I made three points by flawlessly shooting the ball into the ring while I was near her sight.

But luck wasn't my confidant all the damn time because the moment I passed the ball towards Archie, Trishastrea was almost hit. Kung hindi lang hinampas ng katabi niyang babae ang bola pabalik sa court ay paniguradong tumama na iyon sa mukha niya. I saw how her eyes widened in shocked but she returned to being impassive as quickly as the ball bounced back to the court.

Shit.

"Ano Donato napansin ka na ba ng crush mo?" Agad bumungad ang baritonong boses ni Levi pagkapasok nilang lahat sa locker room pagkatapos ng game.

They know I like Trishastrea, but I don't think they know how like is an understatement. And fuck him for asking that. The memory of earlier is still etched in my head. I almost hit her pretty face. I suddenly want to slap myself.

"Muntik na nga niyang matamaan sa mukha kanina ng bola!" Singit ni Archie at humagalpak ng tawa.

"Gago! Pustahan tayo poporma ka pa lang doon, basted ka na agad!" Sawsaw na naman ni Levi.

I hate them. Sometimes I wonder why I'm even friends with them. The thing is, we're not just teammates on the court, we're also friends outside the court.

"Sino bang pinopormahan mo?" Singit ni Felix.

I smirked devilishly when an idea came straight to my bright mind. "Kaibigan ni Baste."

Felix is a year older than me and I know some things about him including this particular small girl who has a crush on him.

"'Yung may bangs?" He asked nonchalantly.

"Nope." Sagot ni Archie.

"Yung maliit?" Singit naman ni Levi ulit.

"Tangina n'yo. Hindi pinopormahan ni Dax si Audrey. Ginagago lang kayo niyan. Iba crush niyan." Sigaw ni Baste mula sa shower.

Kinagat ko ang aking labi upang magpigil ng tawa. When it comes to his friends, he's overprotective. Paano na lang kaya kung pormahan ng mga ka-team namin ang mga babae niyang kaibigan? I can imagine his face.

"May isa ka pang kaibigan, ah! 'Yung Sabrina!" Si Levi na wala 'atang planong isuko ang topic na 'to.

"'Yung Delavin ang gusto niyan. 'Yung mailap!" Sigaw ni Baste.

Agad nawala ang ngisi sa labi ko.

"Ako na lang manligaw kay Sabrina, bro." Ani Levi at tumawa.

Baste showed his middle finger from the curtain to flip Levi off. Our laughs echoed.

"Hanap ka na lang ng ibang tourism student sa ibang school." Baste added and the sound of shower resumed.

Levi shrugged. "Pakilala mo 'ko sa mga kaibigan ng ate mo."

"Nang-gagago ka ba?" Biglang sumulpot si Cohel sa gitna namin ni Levi.

I shake my head and mind my own business. This is not a new topic to us. They always talk about girls but I don't care. I only care for one girl.

"Aba! Mukha bang popormahan ko jowa mo?" Levi said, pertaining to Cohel's girlfriend, Kaycee. "Alam ko may isa pa kayong kaibigan, e. Nakita ko 'yun dati kasama ni Reese."

"Hindi ka ba mabubuhay ng walang babae!" Sigaw ni Archie dahil pumasok na siya sa shower pagkatapos ni Toby.

"Oh, ba't kayo? Mabubuhay ba kayo ng walang babae?" Levi retorted. "Mga hipokrito kayo. Y'all act like you don't care about pussies when in fact it's all you think about every fucking minute."

"Look at the mirror, Levi. You're describing yourself."

Humagalpak ng tawa si Remy sa sinabi ni Felix. Nagtalo pa silang apat pero hindi na ako nakinig. Levi is not a PolSci student for nothing. He likes to argue about almost everything and tries to win the imaginary debate he creates.

Pumasok na rin ako sa shower room pagkatapos ni Baste at mabilis na naglinis ng katawan. Nagbihis at nag-deodorant bago naunang lumabas ng locker room.

"Huwag kang mag-pick up lines, Sernio! Magiging jejemon ka." Pahabol ni Levi at humagalpak ng tawa.

"Tangina mo!" I yelled back at him.

Dumiretso ako ng terminal upang makauwi na at nag-browse sa Univesity's page at hinanap doon ang recent upload nila. It's the debate competition of Tri in another university in Batangas. Tinapos ko ang isang oras na video kahit napanood ko na naman ang live nito noong isang araw.

Trishastrea is not only all face but she's also really smart. Kahit noong high school kami ay madalas na siyang sumasali sa mga extracurricular activities. She was consistent national participant in NSPC during our junior and senior high years. Madalas din siyang manalo sa mga debate competition simula high school hanggang ngayon.

There was one time back in high school when we were competing in other school and we rode the same van. She was competing for Math quiz bee while I was competing for Science. Akala ko pa nga noon at iyon na ang chance ko para makausap siya pero hindi pa rin nangyari dahil katabi niya ang kasama naming teacher at ito lang ang kumakausap sa kaniya.

My cheeks heated when my face appeared on the screen when the camera took a shot at the crowd. Noong isang araw ay nilaban si Tri sa debate sa Batangas at pinilit ko si Archie na samahan ako para mapanood ang laban niya. I cheered for her with all my heart that I didn't notice a camera in front of me. Nasa tabi ko si Archie at mukhang bagot na bagot, like he's rather be somewhere else than there. He was just there to support his hopeless romantic friend—me.

My embarrassment vanished when a thought crossed my mind.

Hanggang dito na lang ba ang kaya kong gawin para kay Tri? Manonood na lang ba lagi ako ng debate competition niya kahit hindi niya ako nakikita? Magpapa-impress na lang ba lagi ako sa kaniya kahit wala siyang pakialam sa'kin? Kailan niya ako mapapansin kung hindi ko susubukan?

How I wish this was just some infatuation every boy my age experiences, but it's been almost eight years already. Siya pa rin ang gusto ko.

I was once a teenager whose fear overpowers any other emotions. In such hopeful conditions, I was seen backing out or walking out from the chances of finally achieving my dreams—to finally talk to Trishastrea Yael Delavin. However, that teenage boy has finally grown into a man—I believe—who could bear all the worse things that would come after him just to finally get his chance over the lady he's been dreaming about since he was thirteen.

After eight years of secretly admiring her from afar, I finally gained the confidence and courage to talk to her at tonight's Prom. It's time to set aside the fear of rejections and what-ifs and give it a try. I'm not going to confess, but I want to see if there's the slightest probability I can be friends with her—to get to know her. Because the truth is... I am in love with the idea of knowing who she really is beyond that snob attitude and impassive expression. I know she's not apathetic. I know that there's a person lurking inside her who cares for the world. I just know it; because everyone has it.

Nakita ko na si Tri kanina nang bumaba siya sa kanilang sasakyan at nang magpapicture siya sa red carpet kasama ng kaklase niya. But I lost sight of her when we entered the gymnasium where the party will be held. Music is echoing all over the crowded place. The ceremony started and the meals were served but my mind wasn't in the food.

Tumayo ako mula sa round table at nagmartsa palabas ng gymnasium. Narinig ko ang tawag ni Archie sa'kin pero bahala na siya roon. Kasama kasi namin sa iisang table si Geraldine at kanina pa siya kinakausap nito kahit lantaran nang pinapakita ni Archie na wala siya sa mood na makipag-usap. Malaki na siya, kaya niya na 'yon. And she's busy texting Gillian, so...

Ang malumanay na hampas ng hangin ay siyang sariwa sa gabi. I breathed it in for a while before I continued my search—

I halted the moment I took a glimpse of dark chocolate hair twisted in a braided bun with flower hair clips shimmering against the sliver ray of moonlight. My heartbeat went madly wild and my breath hitched at the magical sight of her. The moonlight's ray centered her like some spotlight. Wearing a simple pink halter gown while sitting under the old Tree at night, she surely can pass as a real princess. It's surreal to see someone this beautiful, yet, here she is. She's existing right before my eyes. And she's real.

"There you are!" Lumabas sa bibig ko nang tuluyan akong makalapit sa kaniya.

She instinctively lifted her head at my sudden appearance. Her pretty forehead creased adorably in confusion.

"I've been looking for you." I added and I can't stop smiling.

I waited for a response but none came. My apprehensions are starting to kick in again but I brave myself for other words, phrases, sentences, paragraphs, and perhaps, I could be a preacher or a storyteller for the next things I say.

"I saw you a while ago, sitting next to your classmates. Lalapitan sana kita kaso bigla kang nawala. And you're here." I let out a sigh of relief that made the confusion on her face become more apparent.

I noticed how she checked me out and I almost wanted to delude myself that she was into me, but for eight years I one-sided known her, I know for a fact that she's something else. She doesn't get interested that much given her records of zero boyfriends and suitors. I also don't think she ever gets interested in someone—or maybe she did, she's just like really good at hiding her own emotions. Nevertheless, her past is not the point of my bold attempt at talking to her. And I almost forgot to introduce myself.

"Oh, well, I talked too much without introducing myself. I'm Donato Axton, Sernio is my last name." I keep smiling in spite of the anxiousness burgeoning inside me.

I let out an awkward laugh when I still didn't receive a response from her.

I knew it wouldn't be easy to be friends with her, but damn, I feel so embarrassed by blabbering while she was just staring at me with disinterest. Like she's peeling my skin with those looks.

"You can call me Dax. That's what they call me." Dagdag ko, baka lang doon siya interesado.

Or maybe she doesn't care about my nickname.

Come on, Dax, think of something more interesting facts about you.

"I'm from the MedTech department. Same year lang tayo." I shared.

I counted until I reached fifty. I smiled despite that I already felt so humiliated.

"You are?" Tanong ko at hilaw na ngumisi.

I just asked that because there are people who want to talk about themselves more than they want to listen to others' stories. However, that seems not Tri too because she didn't respond.

"Well, stupid me. I actually know you. Everyone knows you. You're Tri."

Instead of calling her by her real full name, I called her by her nickname. That isn't dumb, right?

"Uhm," I don't know what to say anymore.

Paano ko ba mapapasagot 'to? Ang hirap naman kapag masyadong matalino ang gusto mo. Hindi na nga interesado sa'kin, ang bobo ko pa maggawa ng topic.

"Why you're here? Hindi mo gusto sa loob? Everyone's dancing." Again, stupid remarks.

I suddenly want to swap brains with Archie. When she started dating Gillian, he became a more sensible talker than me.

"Maybe, you can allow me to ask you for a dance?" I think that's what Archie would say to Gillian at a party, therefore, I used the line. But... I really mean it.

She abruptly stood and I was about to smile and celebrate because I thought she was going to allow me but when his sharp glare pierced mine, I knew that she wasn't finding any of my remarks funny. But I'm not trying to be funny. I'm serious! Hell serious.

"No." She said firmly and walked past me.

Naalerto ako. "Wait!" Out of instinct, I get a hold of her wrist.

My heart hammered at a quicker pace as the softness of her skin sipped right through me. Her scent filled me I can assure the scientists that I'll need this more than oxygen to live. 

Ngunit nang makita ko ang nananatiling talim sa kaniyang mga mata ay mabilis ko ring binawi ang kamay ko.

"Sorry." I apologized sincerely. "I just want to ask you for a dance—"

"And I already said 'no.'" Walang emosyon niyang sagot at umamba siyang tatalikuran ulit ako pero agad akong nagsalita.

"I know you. I always watch you, not in a creepy way, but I have known you..." I paused and resumed. "What I mean is, can't you accept people in your life? Don't get me wrong. I always find you alone, I thought this night, you could earn a friend."

I meant what I said. I know I'm not in the right place to assume what she feels—if she feels lonely for being alone or fine with it. But for eight years I watched her secretly from afar, I noticed these little things about her that other people didn't. I saw a glimpse of her short-lived smile when she saw the street children outside the gate of our Church after the mass. I saw how she subtly pulled down her ribbons and hair clips while she was sitting on the bleachers, waiting for their P.E. class to start in the gym. And I saw one time how her mouth apart to say a word when an elder woman came to her for help before the bodyguards forced the woman out of her sight and she had no other choice but to get in the car.

I have a feeling that there's more to her than what she shows to the public. She's not a snob. She's not arrogant. And I'm going to prove to everyone that they are wrong about Trishastrea Yael Delavin being the most and only uncaring person in her family. She's not expressive, but she has a heart. I know it and I believe in my intuitions.

"And who told you that I need a friend?" Pagsusuplada niya pagkatapos kong ipagtanggol siya sa isip ko.

Okay. Hindi 'yon magiging dahilan para magbago ang tingin ko sa kaniya. She can be rude to me all she wants, but I trust my instincts like I said.

"Maybe you can socialize?" I suggested and shrugged.

"What for?"

"I just want to be friends with you, that's all." Diretsahan kong sagot.

I saw how she was taken aback by what I said before she strutted her way back to the parking and entered the car waiting for her.

I smiled faintly. The word 'friend' surprised her. She's not someone who's in danger that needs saving, but she's a human behind the perfect life of a princess who craves a normal life; because a normal life includes friendships and imperfections.