Entry 20

I tied my hair low in the back and turned around to see my full view reflection in the mirror. Ngumuso ako at hinigit ang ponytail dahilan para sumabog ang tuwid kong buhok sa likod. Naglakad ako sa malapit kong lamesa at kumuha ng apat na hairclips. I placed them on each sides of my hair.

Umiling ako at tinanggal iyon. Hindi rin naman makikita ang hairclips kapag may cap na sa ulo ko. Kinuha ko ang hair curler ko at sinubukang kulutin ang aking buhok pero hindi pa rin ako nakuntento kaya naman tinuwid ko ulit. Bumalik ako sa salamin upang tirintasin ang aking buhok pero hindi ko rin iyon nagustuhan.

I groaned in frustration.

Siguro ay tama si Mommy at wala akong alam sa pag-aayos dahil hanggang ngayon, pagkalipas ng halos dalawang oras, ay namomroblema pa rin ako kung anong ayos ng buhok ang gagawin ko para sa graduation. And what's worst ay ngayon ang graduation. Gumising ako nang hindi pa sumisikat ang araw para ayusan ang sarili pero umaraw na't lahat ay hindi pa rin ako makapagdesisyon.

Dax called earlier this morning telling me na susunduin niya ako para matulungan ako nila tita at Denisse sa pag-aayos ko pero tumanggi na ako. Malapit lang ang apartment ko sa campus at kung dadaanan pa ako ni Dax ay baka wala na siyang time para mag-ayos sa sarili—which is I don't think he needs a plenty of hours preparing.

Pabagsak akong umupo sa edge ng aking kama at tumitig sa kawalan. Siguro ay dapat tinanggap ko na lang ang inaalok na tulong nila tita, siguro ay hindi ako namomroblema ngayon.

I sighed and stood to walk towards the dress I will wear under my toga. Hanggang ngayon ay hindi pa rin ako lubusang makapaniwala na ngayong araw ay magtatapos na kaming dalawa ni Dax. I wasn't really excited about finally finishing my degree when I started college because all I was thinking about is how I am supposed to rank one all the time. I started this year no different than the previous years—I still perceived that I was only studying to reach my parents' expectations. I never looked forward to this day not until I met Dax and he made me feel how a normal student must feel when reaching this last step.

I worked hard for four years. I never complained about studying, however, perhaps there's a part in me that wanted to take a break when I was unconsciously exhausted for too much reading and activities. Pinaniwala ako nila Mommy at Daddy na ang tangi ko lang responsibilidad ay mag-aral at maging top one lagi. They never told me that I can rest. They never told me that I can enjoy. Ang tangi ko lamang narinig sa kanila ay huwag akong babagsak, huwag akong titigil mag-review, huwag akong titigil na ipakita sa iba na matalino ako, at huwag na huwag bababa ang mga marka ko. They never mentioned about how I need to balance my life between studying and living this life. They treated me like their own robot that needs learning.

Marami akong pagsisisi sa nagdaang taon. Marami akong what ifs. Pero ang nangyari ay nangyari na. I can't turn back time and change the way my life was. And I don't think I'll have my choices and voice if I would return. My parents will still be the same and they will never free me in spite of my refusals.

But, still, they are my parents. Kahit malaki ang pagtatampo ko sa kanila at sa ilang buwan nilang hindi pag-contact sa'kin, may parte sa'kin na gusto kong kasama sila sa pagtuntong ko ng stage. I told them about the date of the graduation but I never received a reply from them. I guess, they don't care anymore.

"Tri?"

Kinurap ko ang namumuong luha sa'king mga mata at nilapitan ang pintuan upang buksan iyon. Nanlaki ang mga mata ko nang makita ang mama at kapatid ni Dax.

"Sinabi ni Dax na ayaw mo kaming maabala kaya kami na ang mang-aabala." Pagbibiro ni tita.

I can't help but get emotional by how they always treat me like I'm part of their family. Ngumiti ako at pinapasok silang dalawa sa loob. Sinuri ni tita ang apartment ko at pinuri niya ako dahil malinis ang lugar ko.

"Well, I assumed that you know nothing about household chores." Denisse commented as she sat on the only small sofa I have.

"You're actually right. I knew nothing before. I just self-taught?" I laughed at the latter. "Hindi rin naman mahirap matutunan ang basic chores."

Now that we're talking about it, I realized how my progress was slow but I'm never stopping. Siguro wala pa ako sa kalahati, pero ang meron ako ngayon ay sapat na para sa ano mang plano ko bukas.

"Okay!"

Sabay naming binalingan ang sumigaw na si tita at naglakad palapit sa'min. Naka-plaster ang ngiti sa labi niya at magkasalikop ang dalawa niyang kamay na nasa harap. She really look like those principals in the schools. Well, she is.

"May dalawang oras pa tayo. You ready?" She looked at me and I saw how her eyes gleamed with excitement.

My heart started to pound loud because having people who are excited for me excites me. Tumango ako sa kaniya at pumalakpak naman siya bago kinuha kay Denisse ang dala nilang make-up kit. Umupo ako sa study chair at binigay sa kanila ang tiwala ko.

I'm very grateful for them. Kung hindi ko nakilala si Dax ay hindi ako sigurado kung mararamdaman ko ba ang ganitong pag-aalaga mula sa isang pamilya. His parents treated me like their own child. Si Denisse, kahit hindi pa kami ganoong kalapit ay kahit paano nag-uusap na kami. She even finally called me by name with 'Ate' before it. I feel like I gain a little sister.

"Thank you po," I told tita and took a glance at Denisse, and smiled at her.

It only took us an hour to finally set my makeup before I changed to my navy blue off shoulder lace dress with girdle. Kinuha ko ang black toga na naka-hanger sa loob ng aking cabinet bago ko hinarap silang dalawa. Nagtext si Dax na nasa baba na sila at hinihintay kami.

We went downstairs and saw their father in the driver's seat and waving at us. Pumasok kaming tatlo sa back seat samantalang nasa harap si tito at Dax. He winked at me when I entered and I surveyed his clothes. He's wearing a long sleeve buttoned shirt in a lighter shade of blue. We didn't plan to match our colors though.

"Hindi pa rin ba nag-reply ang Mommy at Daddy mo?" Tita Mariana asked beside me.

Kinagat ko ang aking labi at nakita kong lumingon sa'kin si Dax. He knows that I never received a respond. Umiling lamang ako kay tita.

"I can walk beside you." She said that surprises me.

Ang totoo ay isa rin iyon sa mga pinoproblema ko kanina. Alam kong required na mayroong guardian na kasama ang mga magtatapos pero nang matanto kong hindi sisipot sina Mommy ay tinanggap ko na lamang na mag-isa akong pipila at aakyat ng stage. Hindi naman ako mahihiyang mag-isa. I've done that before. But having them around me made me realize that I can also walk this life with people who genuinely care for me. I don't need to be alone.

"Pa, ikaw na lang muna sumama kay Dax." She told her husband.

"Ayos lang po ba? I mean, Dax is your son and you waited years for this and I will be in the way—"

"You're not in the way." Malambing niyang pagtutol sa sinasabi ko.

"Parte ka na ng pamilya namin at parang anak na kita. At saka may susunod pang graduation para kay Donato. When he graduates on Med School, sisiguraduhin kong kasama niya akong aakyat sa stage." She smiled at me reassuringly.

Pinigilan kong huwag maluha kahit kanina pa nag-uumapaw ang nararamdaman ko dahil sa mga bagay na ginawa at ginagawa nila para sa'kin.

"Paano kung si Tri ang gusto kong isama sa stage?" Dax butts in.

Humalakhak si tito nang bigyan ni tita si Dax ng matalim na tingin. Bahagya akong natawa dahil alam kong nagbibiro lang siya. I want to be with him when he graduates on Med School but I will never take away from his parents their rights to walk with him on the stage. Thinking about it, four years ahead of us, will we be still together?

Sana.

I want to face my future with him in my life. I want him to be always part of me.

"Hindi pa nga sigurado kung makakadiretso akong Med School, Ma!" Bawi ni Dax at ngumisi dahil alam naman naming lahat na makakapasa siya sa NMAT.

He's the only Summa Cum Laude in their class and has the highest GWA among all the graduates.

"Pwede naman pong sumama kayo kay Dax. Base sa practice namin mauuna naman po sila." Imporma ko.

Nakakapanghinayang naman kasi kung hindi siya kasama ni Dax sa stage gayong alam kong sila ang inspirasyon ni Dax kung bakit siya nagsusumikap na mag-aral. And I'm so proud of him. He was a working student for four years—he only stopped taking part-time jobs in the middle of this school year—and I never thought before that it would be possible to achieve things all while you're busy trying to survive. Or maybe, that's what life is. We try to survive to achieve things. Dax took part-time jobs to graduate.

Pinag-usapan namin ni tita ang mangyayari at dahil medyo panghuli naman ang klase namin ay may oras pa siya para mahanap ako pagkatapos ni Dax. Kaya naman nang makarating kami sa pagdadausan ng graduation rites ay nasa tabi ko si tita at tumabi lang siya kina tito at Denisse nang makaupo na kaming lahat.

I tried looking around, half of me hoping that I will see my parents or nanay, but they aren't here. Nagsimula na ang pagtawag ng mga pangalan at bumagsak ang tingin ko sa'king kamay. Bahagyang kuminang ang singsing nang tumama ang liwanag dito. Dax gave me this ring with a tiara in the center as a sign of his promise to me—that he will always love me. I don't know what I did to deserve him. He's too much for me and I never offered him anything. He gave me a family when I was alone, and he became my friend when I thought I don't need anyone. And what did I do in return? Nothing.

Mabilis akong nag-angat ng tingin nang marinig ang pangalan ni Dax na binanggit ng speaker sa harap. I smiled widely when I saw him stepping on the stage accompanied by his parents. Surely, his parents are so proud of him.

"Tri, picturan mo." Allison spoke beside me.

Sinunod ko siya at nilabas ang cellphone ko upang makuhanan siya ng litrato kahit medyo malayo.

"Tapos tayo naman dalawa picture mamaya." She giggled.

Hindi ko siya pinansin at tinuon ang pansin sa boyfriend ko. He's so gorgeous wearing the black toga. When he stepped in front for a picture, I saw his eyes searching the crowd until they met mine. I don't know if he can see my smile but I'm sure that he knows how proud I am of him.

I received a message from him after he seated back saying that my wide smile looks good on me. Whatever.

Naghintay pa kami ng ilang minuto bago sinimulan ang klase namin. Tita spotted me and she accompany me on the stage when I was called.

"Girlfriend ko 'yan!" Someone shouted and I'm beyond certain that it was Dax.

Narinig ko pa ang tawanan at hiyawan ng ibang estudyante dahil sa ginawang iyon ni Dax. Pinagbawalan kaming gawin 'yon pero ginawa niya pa rin. Hindi na siya natatakot sumuway sa rules dahil graduate na naman siya.

"Congrats," the president said when I shake his hand.

Four years of taking the course I didn't like but I still made it. A year ago, I was asking myself if I really know myself. I have the answer now.

I aspire to become a woman who doesn't only stand for herself. I want to become a voice. I want to serve people. I want to be a part of changes in every child's life. I want to give hope for the future. I want to become a person who is not afraid to speak or do things for the betterment of the majority. That's what I really want. I want to be a teacher. That's the truth I refused to dwell on more because I grew up thinking that I can't have my choices.

But for now, I want to trust the process of my journey. I'll take it one step at a time. I won't rush things and I want to figure things out carefully. I just hope that at the end of this, I can say that I'm happy with what I chose.

I thanked tita Mariana again after I received my diploma and went back to my own seat. Hinawakan ko ang silver medal ko. I thought I won't graduate with Latin Honors knowing that my grades went downhill—somewhat—this year. I may not have the highest GWA on my batch, but at least I tried. It's enough.

Being with Dax and seeing the full view of what I only used to see the half, I learned that there's more to this life than aiming for the highest GWA. We have to take our education seriously and work our ass out to achieve our goals, yes. However, each of us has our own story to tell. Not everyone wants what we want. There are people who are fine with simple things and that is already everything to them. And there are people who want more— people who aim more and do more, and there's nothing wrong with it.

And for me, I want more; but it's not my rank on the honor list.

I want more in the days coming in. I want to know who will I be in the reality of this life. How will I contribute to this world with the decisions I'm still about to take? How can I be part of the change that I want? I want to know more. I want to be more.

Because stepping out of school doesn't indicate that our journey has come to end; it's only the beginning. Bigger responsibilities ahead of us. And we have to use our privileges and education to contribute to this world. We don't stop working. We're only about to take another step on another hill.

"I'm proud of you."

I encircled my arms around his neck when he welcomed me with a tight hug right after we all exited the hall. I hid my face on his neck when I feel my eyes pooling with tears. He's the only person who says that to me. I said the same thing to him before I calmed down and I joined Allison in taking pictures dahil hindi niya ako tinatantanan.

Bumalik din naman agad ako sa pamilya ni Dax dahil si Allison lang naman ang naging kaibigan ko sa klase namin. I stood next to Denisse as we watched Dax exchanging hugs and fist bumps to his classmates. Sinakal niya si Archie sa leeg gamit ang kaniyang braso at siniko naman siya nito kaya dumaing si Dax at lumayo sa kaibigan. Nag-usap silang dalawa habang hawak ni Dax ang kaniyang tiyan bago sila mabilis na nagyakapan.

"That," tita spoke beside Denisse. "That's the reason why I thought he likes Archie romantically."

Humagalpak ng tawa si Denisse at hindi ko rin mapigilang matawa. Those two guys are just so close like brothers.

Lumapit si Archie sa magulang ni Dax at binati ang mga ito. Ginulo niya ang buhok ni Denisse at tumango naman siya sa'kin. He's with Gillian and we talked a little bit before we all take ways separately.

Habang hinahanap namin ang pickup ay nilahad ko kay Dax ang isang paper bag na kanina ko pa dala. His eyebrows pinched together but he didn't say anything until he opened the paper bag. Nilabas niya ang kulay green na scarf.

"Woah. I didn't buy you anything." He was genuinely regretful.

Nilagay niya iyon sa leeg niya kahit tirik na tirik ang araw at muli niyang hinuli ang kamay ko habang patuloy kaming naglalakad kasunod nila tita.

"I crocheted that."

Nanlaki ang mga mata niya at huminto dahilan para tumigil din ako sa paglalakad.

"May bagay ka bang hindi kayang gawin?" Bakas ang sinseridad ng kamanghaan sa mga mata niya pero inirapan ko pa rin siya.

"I learned when I was twelve. It has been so long since I last crocheted," I shrugged. "I hope it reaches your expectations. Hindi maganda pero—"

"Anong hindi? Ito ang pinakamalambot at komportableng scarf na natanggap ko sa tanang buhay ko. Ang ganda kaya."

I gritted my teeth to stifle a smile but I didn't succeed. Pumungay ang kaniyang mga mata at hinaplos ang pisngi ko at unti-unti siyang sumeryoso.

"I love you." He mouthed.

I made a face the reason why I received a dramatic reaction from him. Binitawan ko ang kamay niya at inunahan siya sa paglalakad habang naririnig ko ang reklamo niya kesyo hindi ko daw binalik ang 'I love you' niya.

Malapit na ako sa pickup nila at sumakay na sina tita nang maramdaman ko siya sa'king likod. I was about to quicken my saunter when I saw his medal falling on my chest. Sinuot niya iyon sa'king leeg at walang imik akong hinila palapit sa sasakyan.

"Tri!"

I halted and I quickly turned around when I heard the familiar voice. My eyes widened when I saw nanay and kuya Joey walking towards me. Mabilis akong nagtatakbo sa kanila at niyakap nang mahigpit si nanay. Hindi ko na napigilang umiyak dahil akala ko ay hindi siya pupunta. She doesn't use cellphone kaya naman pinasabi ko iyon sa mga bata nang bisitahin ko sila. May parte sa'kin na hindi sigurado kung maihahatid ba ng mga bata kay nanay ang pinapasabi ko pero nandito siya. And the kids didn't fail me.

"You came," my voice croaked when a sob came.

I felt her shoulders shake as she hugged me back tightly. I missed her so much.

"Maaari bang palagpasin ko ang araw na ito?" Emosyonal niyang saad at hinaplos ang aking buhok.

"Huli na nga lang kaming nakarating dito dahil hinintay ko pa ang mga magulang mo na umalis."

I withdraw from the embrace and wiped my tears away. I saw her worried eyes lingered on me. Nakakasigurado akong nanggagalaiti na sa galit ang mga magulang ko ngayon. Kanina, sa loob ng hall ay naririnig ko ang lantarang pag-uusap ng mga nakakatanda at estudyante tungkol sa hindi pagdalo nila Mommy at Daddy sa graduation ko. I heard them changing gossips about me staying on the Sernio's. May narinig pa akong nabuntis daw ako ni Dax kaya pinalayas ako sa mansion. Wala naman akong pakialam dahil hindi nila alam ang totoo at buong istorya.

"Pasensiya, anak kung hindi nakapunta ang mga magulang mo—"

"It's okay, nay. Ang mahalaga ay nandito ka." I eyed kuya Joey and gave him a small smile.

They are the only people who I trusted in the mansion and while I was growing up. I'm glad they are here.

"Congrats, Ma'am." Bati ni Kuya Joey.

Tumango ako sa kaniya at binalingan ulit si nanay na patuloy akong pinagmamasdan.

"Sumama kayo sa'kin. Kasama ko ang pamilya ni Dax, may kaunting salo-salo sa bahay nila." Anyaya ko sa kanila.

I want to spend more time with her. Ilang buwan ko rin siyang hindi nakita. Napawi lang ang ngiti sa aking labi nang makita kong nagbago ang ekspresyon niya.

"Hindi ako maaaring magtagal, Tri. Baka magtaka ang ibang kasambahay kung magtagal ako."

"I understand."

Hinaplos niya ang aking pisngi at malungkot na ngumiti.

"Namimiss na kita sa mansion pero kung ayaw mo pang umuwi ay hindi kita pipilitin. Nasa tamang edad ka na at noon pa man ay naniniwala na akong kaya mo ang iyong sarili. Magpatuloy ka, Tri. Hanapin mo ang buhay na ninanais mo."

I gave her a thin lip smile and nodded. "Salamat, nay."

"Kilala ko ang mga Sernio at alam kong hindi ka nila pababayaan." She looked behind me and I only realized that Dax was walking towards us when he stopped beside me to greet nanay and kuya Joey.

"Huwag mong paiiyakin itong alaga ko." Banta niya kay Dax sa nagbibirong tono pero alam kong seryoso siya.

Ayoko pa sanang umalis si nanay pero unusual nga sa mansion na mawala siya ng ilang oras kaya naman kahit ayaw ko ay nagpaalam na ako sa kaniya. I watched them as they slowly disappear in my line of vision. Dax holds my hands and we both went inside their car.

Pagdating sa bahay nila ay maraming bisita dahil kapitan ang papa niya at nakagisnan nang sa tuwing may nagtatapos sa pamilya nila ay imbitado ang lahat. Dax informed me that Archie invited him to his party this night but he refused the invitation for the reason that he wants to spend the time with me.

"You should go," I told him.

Nasa kwarto niya kami at nakapagpalit na ako ng pantulog na nilagay ko dito noong isang buwan dahil madalas na akong bumibisita sa kanila at natutulog dito. Noong una ay sa living room natutulog si Dax kapag nandito ako pero napilit ko rin siyang magtabi na lang kami dahil mahirap para sa kaniyang matulog sa maliit na sofa gayong malaki siyang tao. And it's not like we're going to do nasty things.

Umupo siya sa edge ng kama habang naka-indian sit ako sa gitna ng kama.

"Hindi." Umiling siya. "Dito lang ako magdamag—"

"He's your best friend. He'll be expecting you."

I don't really have a best friend to understand their relationship but I'm pretty sure that Archie would be happy to see his best friend at his party.

"His girlfriend's there. Hindi na niya mapapansin na wala ako at nagsabi na rin naman akong hindi pupunta."

I frowned at him. "Sinabi mo na sa China siya mag-aaral. You'll be busy in the following days because of your NMAT. Baka hindi ka na magkaroon ng time for him bago siya lumipad papuntang ibang bansa."

"He's not still sure about it." Kumunot ang noo niya na para bang hindi rin siya sigurado sa sagot.

"Teka nga. Bakit mo ako pinipilit, huh? May plano ka ba ngayong gabi na hindi ako kasali?"

"What?" Gulat at naguguluhan kong balik. "Ano namang plano ko ngayon? Matulog? Oo, matutulog ako—"

"Hindi, eh. Parang may iba." He looked at me suspiciously.

"Ano?" Hamon ko sa kaniya pero unti-unting umangat ang sulok ng kaniyang labi.

Hinampas ko siya ng unan at humagalpak siya ng tawa.

"Just go to that party. Enjoy."

Tumayo siya dahilan para magtaas ako ng tingin sa kaniya.

"One hour." Aniya.

"You might enjoy drinking," I said. "And other things."

Muli siyang bumalik sa pagkakaupo. "Hindi na ako aalis. Baka isipin mong nambababae ako ro'n!"

"I was just joking! Go! Anong oras na, oh." I crawled towards him and pushed him out of the bed.

"Kaya nga! Anong oras na? Gusto mong mag-drive ako ng ganitong oras?"

"Your best friend is expecting you."

"He's expecting his girlfriend, not me."

"He invited you. Kailangan mong pumunta—"

"No. Binigyan niya ako ng options. Option one, go. Option two, not go."

Ngumiwi ako sa sinabi niya.

"Option three, choose option two."

I rolled my eyes at him. "Are we going to fight about this?"

"Ikaw lang. Hindi ako nakikipag-away."

Sinipa ko siya pero agad siyang tumakbo palayo at malapit sa pintuan. I glare at him.

"Just go, Dax. And I trust you if that's what bothers you. I won't think you're cheating on me, okay?"

Biglang sumeryoso ang kaniyang mga mata pero naroon pa rin ang ngisi sa labi niya.

"That's a good thing to know, but I will stay here with you..." he trails off when he saw my warning gaze at him.

He shut his mouth and nodded like a good puppy.

"Okay." He said in a low voice. "I'll go."

I smiled.

"Pero isang oras lang!" Dagdag niyang sigaw at tinitigan ako sa mga mata.

"Whatever you're going to do—"

"I'm not going to do anything! I just want you to attend your best friend's party. I'm going to sleep. Right now."

The back of my head fell on the soft pillows with his scent and I dragged upwards the blanket until my chin. I looked at him at the door; he was still standing and watching me. I really have no plans like he was implying. I just really want him to attend that party because it's his best friend's.

"Okay." He sighed. "Uuwi agad ako." He pinned me a reassuring look before he left the room.

"And I'll message you!" He added behind the closed door.

And he was true about it. He keeps messaging for the whole twenty minutes since he came to the party. Ni hindi ako sigurado kung nag-e-enjoy pa ba siya roon dahil ang bilis niyang mag-reply na kahit binabagalan ko ay tinatadtad niya naman ako ng chat. Nakatulugan ko na lang ang pag-uusap namin hanggang sa maramdaman ko siya sa tabi ko at niyakap ako nang gabing iyon. He didn't smell alcohol and I doubted if he really went to the party until he showed me a proof.

"Detective ka na ngayon?" Pang-aasar niya pagkagising ko at inakusahan ko siyang hindi siya tumuloy sa party.

At totoo rin siya sa sinabi niya na isang oras lang siya dahil ang bilis niyang umuwi.

Ibinalik ko sa kaniya ang kaniyang cellphone at tinuon ang atensiyon sa pagkain ng umagahan. Denisse is watching us and she rolled her eyes after.

"Anong nagustuhan mo kay kuya?" Tanong niya na para bang diring-diri siya sa sariling kapatid.

"Pogi ako. Binebenta mo nga pictures ko, eh." Dax bantered.

"Not anymore."

Nagulat ako. That's her so-called "business" and I didn't know she stopped it.

"May girlfriend ka na, bakit ko pa ibebenta pictures mo?" Pagalit niyang singhal sa kapatid at tumayo hawak ang sariling plato at sa living room kumain.

I looked at Dax and I saw him smirking at me.

"What?"

Nakangisi siyang umiling at humigop sa tasa niyang may lamang kape.

The following days were calm and no trace of anything bad that about to happen. My parents didn't even contact me to say something about my graduation. Nakakapagtaka na hanggang ngayon ay hindi nila ako hinaharap. Wala na ba talaga silang pakialam sa'kin? Hahayaan na lang ba talaga nila akong mag-isa sa mundong ito hanggang makalimutan kong mayroon akong mga magulang? Hindi ba sila natatakot na tuluyan akong mawala sa buhay nila?

Hindi ko alam.

I saw how Dax's mother is always worried about her children's days, trying to stay positive that they are safe wherever they are going. Ganoon din ang papa nila. My parents were never worried about me. They are more like worried about themselves dahil sila ang magiging laman ng tsismis kung sakaling may mangyaring masama sa'kin. They hate issues because they only want good things talked about them.

Pagkaraan ng ilang araw pagkatapos ng graduation namin ay nagpasya na akong mag-ayos ng resume ko. I was also starting to search for jobs but I haven't really applied yet. Kakaunti na lang din ang pera ko pero sa tingin ko ay sapat iyon hanggang sa susunod na tatlong buwan. Kailangan ko lang munang magtipid. Inalok ako ng mama ni Dax na sa kanila na muna ako tumigil upang hindi na ako nagbabayad ng rent pero tumanggi ako. Ayoko namang maging dagdag alalahanin at pabigat sa kanila. Masyado nang marami silang naitulong sa'kin at ayos na ako sa pagpasyal ko sa kanilang bahay tuwing weekends.

Dax, on the other hand, is starting to review for his upcoming NMAT exam. His parents suggested na mag-enrol siya sa review center pero ayaw ni Dax dahil dagdag gastusin lang iyon gayong mas marami pa siyang gagastusin kung sakaling makapasa siya sa Med School. I don't know why he doubts himself. He can certainly get admitted in Med School. Marami siyang pinagpipilian na universities pero gusto niya sana sa UP. And we're, somewhat, starting to plan na if ever makapasok siya ay sa Manila na rin ako maghahanap ng trabaho.

Habang abala si Dax sa pagrireview ay sumama naman ako sa Summer Camp na inoorganisa ng mga youth sa kanilang barangay. Sinabi iyon sa'kin ni tito noong bagong taon pero si Denisse ang nag-aya sa'king sumama ako sa kanila. I actually didn't know that she's participating on their barangay activities. Pero hindi rin naman nakakagulat dahil kapitan ang papa nila.

Naenjoy ko ang pakikilahok sa mga aktibidad lalo na noong pumunta kami sa isang secluded area at namigay kami ng mga pagkain sa bawat pamilya at nagturo rin kami sa mga batang naroon na walang kakayahang makapag-aral sa escuelahan.

Nasabi sa'kin ni Denisse na lagi silang bumibisita sa lugar na iyon tuwing summer vacation. They've been doing it for almost three years now. Nang makita ko siyang masiglang nakikipaglaro sa mga bata at tinuturuan ang mga ito ay natanto ko ang ibigsabihin ni Dax noon. She's really a good person. Mukha siyang suplada at maldita pero kung makikilala mo siya ng mabuti at kung malalaman mo ang mga bagay na ginagawa niya ay maiisip mong higit pa siya sa nakikita ng ibang tao sa kaniya.

Nalaman ko rin na mayroon silang camp site na nirerentehan at doon nila dinadala ang mga bata kasama ang kanilang magulang upang ma-enjoy ang mga activities na inorganisa ng mga youth. Sinubukan kong isama sina Nabo at natuwa ako nang makita silang mabilis na nakipagkaibigan sa ibang bata. Si tita ay sumama rin at nakilala nila ang mga bata. They are surprised when the kids told her that I was teaching them.

"You will be a good teacher." She told me while we were watching the kids play and learn.

Will I be?

Being around with these people and exploring the corners of this town for whole two months made me see the sad reality of this world. Lahat ay may karapatang makapag-aral pero bakit hanggang ngayon ay mga batang hindi nakakatungtong sa escuelahan?

It pains me to see how these innocent kids have no idea of how important education is. At ayokong manatili silang mangmang para lamang maloko sila ng ibang tao. Hindi ko lang alam sa ngayon kung paano sila matutulungan.

What should I do?

"Ilang beses na naming dinulog sa itaas na magpatayo ng escuelahan dito, kahit maliit lang, para sa mga batang ito dahil nakakasigurado naman akong mayroong mga guro na tatanggaping mapa-destino rito." Tita sighed sadly.

"Pero hindi nila pinapansin ang request ni Dom." Dagdag niya.

"Hindi nila pinapansin dahil iniisip nila na threat si papa sa kanila." Denisse said when she stops in front of us.

Kumunot ang aking noo. Nakita niya ang tanong sa mukha ko kaya nagsalita siya ulit.

"Walang plano noon si papa na tumakbong kapitan o pumasok man sa politika dahil alam niyang magulo ang buhay dito. Pero dahil siya ang gusto ng mga tao sa barangay namin, kinonsidera niya ang ideya at sumubok siya. He won."

She glanced at her father who is now talking to Kisa. He's so fond of her dahil siya rin ang pinakabata dito.

"My father is a man of his words. He has principles. He has integrity he never wants to taint. He doesn't look down on people. He doesn't speak much about himself because he likes to always talk about other things. Katulad ng kung paano tutulungan ang mga taong walang pambili ng bigas, mga nanay na walang mapainom na gatas sa mga anak nila, at ang mga batang hindi kumpleto ang gamit sa pag-aaral. Kung tutuusin ay hindi niya na dapat iyon problema," she snorted. "Noon, hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit kailangan niyang tulungan ang ibang tao. Pero habang tumatanda kaming dalawa ni kuya, natanto namin kung gaano kami kaswerte dahil kahit hindi kami lumaki na maraming pera, may magulang kaming handang isugal kahit ano para lang sa ikabubuti ng nakararami. Hindi niya iniisip ang sarili niya. He's so selfless."

"Kahit maraming nag-uudyok sa kaniya na gumawa ng masama, pinipili pa rin niyang maging mabuti." Ani tita na may ngiti sa labi.

"He always chooses kindness over anything. And that's what the higher elected officials are scared of. They don't want him to steal the public's attention as if it's a competition for my father."

Pumungay ang aking mga mata at binalingan si tito. My heart warms when I realized something.

I found my people. I belong here.

The saddest part of summer camp is saying goodbye to the kids and parents. Kaya naman habang nasa sasakyan kami at pauwi ay tahimik kaming lahat. Hindi nakasama si Dax dahil gusto ni tita na pagtuonan niya ang pagrireview.

Dapit hapon na nang makabalik kami at agad kong natanaw si Dax sa labas ng kanilang gate. I smiled widely seeing him waiting for us.

Wait.

He's not waiting for us.

"Bakit may mga pulis?" Naguguluhang tanong ni tita at mabilis na lumabas at sumunod ako.

Huminto kami sa harap ng kapitbahay nila dahil nakaharang ang police car sa harap ng gate nila. Nakita ko si Dax na kinakausap ang isang pamilyar na pulis.

"What's going on here, Sir?" Tito Dom asked them and I went straight to Dax pero natigil ako nang hawakan ng pulis si Dax sa braso at naglabas ng handcuffs.

What the hell?

"We have a warrant arrest for your son, Kap." Tanging sagot ng pulis at sapilitang pinoposasan si Dax pero mabilis akong pumagitna.

Now that I face the cop, I finally remembered him. Siya iyong laging nag-ko-convoy kina Mommy tuwing lalabas sila ng Cavite.

"Ma'am we have to take him with—"

"No!"

"Teka nga lang. Bakit kayo may warrant of arrest? Anong ginawa ng anak ko?"

Tinulak ko si Dax sa likod ko at ako ang humarap sa pulis upang hindi siya malapitan nito pero hindi ko siya naramdamang umalis sa likod ko. I searched for his hand and holds it.

"Miss Trisha's parents reported that your son kidnapped her." He looked at me and was about to step closer again to Dax but I pushed him away.

Wala akong pakialam kung pulis siya. He can't just show up here telling us that Dax kidnapped me when he didn't. And I can't believe that my parents will go this far. Perhaps I underestimated them by thinking that they don't care about me anymore and they are finally releasing me. They aren't. They are just waiting for this moment because they knew it will be the worst pain for me now that I got to enjoy having them around me.

"He didn't kidnap me!"

"Hindi magagawa ni kuya ang binibintang n'yo." Denisse butts in.

"Hindi ba? Nandito si Ma'am Trisha at maraming witness na nagsasabing dito ka nakatira—"

"I'm not eighteen for god's sake and I don't live here. Dax didn't kidnap me or whatever the hell my parents told you! He's my boyfriend and I—"

Nanlaki ang mga mata ko nang mabilis niyang nahuli ang braso ni Dax sa'king likod. Umambang lalapit si tito at gano'n din kami pero nag-angat si Dax ng tingin sa'min.

"It's okay." Aniya.

My eyes widened more in both surprise and disbelief. I saw how his eyes stare at me with mixtures of pain, fear, and sadness. He's giving me a reassuring smile but I don't buy it. He can't just let this cop or my parents get to him! And I won't let it happen.

Matapang akong naglakad palapit sa kaniya at hinawi ang kamay ng pulis sa braso ni Dax.

"Get off your hands of him!" Utos ko.

"Baby, it's okay. Uuwi ako—"

I scowl at him. I hate how he's taking this so calmly!

"This is not okay. None of this is okay. You didn't kidnap me."

He lifts his hand to reach me but the cop pulled them down and successfully put the handcuffs on him. Sa gilid ng aking mga mata ay nakita kong maraming taong nanonood sa nangyayari. I tried pulling Dax away from him nang buksan niya ang pintuan ng police car at pilit na pinapasok siya roon.

"Stop this nonsense! You can't just handcuff him and tell us the unproven information you have—"

"Ma'am, may tamang proseso po rito. May karapatan siyang kumuha ng abogado—"

"There's no need for that! He didn't kidnap me!"

"Tri, anak," tita caught my arms and stood beside me. I looked at her hoping that she will fight for her son but she didn't.

"Susunod agad tayo sa prisinto. We'll do this in the right way—"

"No, tita. Walang ginawang masama si Dax,"

She nodded at me and I can see how her eyes are both worried and anxious. There's anger in there too.

"Don't touch my son. We'll be right behind you." Aniya sa pulis at nilapitan si Dax pero walang respeto ang lalaking ito at biglang sinarado ang pintuan.

I almost cursed him but he quickly gathered himself in the driver's seat and drove the car away. I fisted my hands and my chest heaving insanely in rage.

"Inosente si Dax. Ilalabas natin siya—"

Hindi ko pinatapos si tita. "Please, sundan n'yo po si Dax. I'll just have to do something."

"Ang babaeng hukluban na 'yon!" Denisse screamed with the same anger as we have. She's pertaining to my mother.

"Hija, mag-ingat ka." Tito told me. "O gusto mo bang ihatid ka muna namin?"

Umiling ako. "Dax needs you there. I can go back to the mansion on my own."

Tinalikuran ko sila at binilisan ang aking paglalakad. I can never forgive them for doing this to me.