Entry 09

"Tri! You're gone all day! Sa'n ka galing?"

Bumagal ang lakad ko sa hallway nang salubungin ako ni Allison half-way. Hinatid ako ni Dax sa harap ng department bago siya tumuloy sa sariling building. It's already dark outside at hindi ko inasahan na nandito pa rin ang mga kaklase ko.

"Buti na lang sinabi ko kay Ma'am kanina na nag-C.R ka lang. Saglit lang naman siya dito kanina, dumaan lang kung ayos ba ang horror house natin." She grins at me.

I want to thank her for covering me up but I can't make myself say it to her. I don't know but... it's hard to trust her. I wonder if I'll ever learn to see the real her like how Dax saw me. Can I ever be friends with her? Am I only seeing the things I want to see in her?

Ilang beses niya nang pinakita sa'kin na gusto niya akong maging kaibigan. Mahirap para sa'kin na tumanggap ng tao sa buhay ko ngunit nang makilala ko si Dax, natanto ko na kaya ko. Because I finally accepted Dax in my life. Kaya ko rin bang gawin iyon sa ibang tao? Ang tanggapin sila sa buhay ko?

Marahan lang akong tumango kay Allison at nilagpasan siya upang magtuloy sa classroom. Kinuha ko ang aking bag at lumabas ng building. Nasa labas na agad ang sasakyan namin at sigurado akong kanina pa naghihintay si Kuya Joey, ang driver ko.

"'Wag kayong mag-alala, Ma'am Tri. Sasabihin ko na lang ho kay Sir na na-flat'an tayo kaya tayo ginabi ng uwi." Ani ni Kuya Joey pagkatapos kong makiusap na gumawa ng dahilan kay Daddy kung bakit ako ginabi ng uwi.

May kopya ng schedule ko si Daddy at alam niya kung anong oras ang tapos ng event ngayong araw. Hindi ako sigurado kung nakauwi na ba si Daddy ngunit may mga kasambahay siyang inuutusan na bantayan ang bawat oras ng pag-alis at pag-uwi ko sa bahay. At nagpapasalamat na lang ako na mayroong mga taong kaya pa rin akong pagbigyan katulad ni kuya Joey at nanay.

Nakahinga lamang ako nang maluwag nang dumating kami sa mansion at wala pa si Daddy. Sinalubong ako ni Nanay at tinanong kung bakit late na ako umuwi. Kaya naman habang inaayos niya ang mga pamalit kong damit para sa pagtulog ay kinewento ko sa kaniya ang buong nangyari. Mula sa pag-aaya sa'kin ni Dax na kumain ng street foods hanggang sa makita ko ang mga bata.

"Mabuti naman at may kaibigan ka na." Ngumiti sa'kin si Nanay.

Humilig ako sa silyang inuupuan ko at tinitigan ang sariling repleksiyon sa salamin sa lamesa ko.

"Mabait ang mga magulang ng batang iyon."

Ngumiti lamang ako at hindi sumagot. Hindi rin ako sigurado kung anong tamang sasabihin bukod sa isang beses ko lamang nakausap ang Papa ni Dax ay hindi ko pa nakikilala ang kapatid at Mama nito. At ang sinabi ni nanay na masaya siyang kaibigan ko si Dax. I accepted him in my life, that's what I decided when we're going back to school. He's... my friend.

Buong magdamag kong binalikan ang mga nangyari kanina na bahagya na akong hinila ng antok. Patuloy na naglalakbay ang isip ko sa kaisipan kung mangyayari ba ulit iyon o iyon na ang una at huli. I wish not because I want to experience it again.

"Trishastrea,"

My eyes turned wide open and they directly darted at the end of my bed. I saw Dad in his tux standing with all his authority.

What time is it? It's weekend, right? May lakad ba sina Daddy na kasama ako? As far as I can remember ay wala naman.

Dumapo ang tingin ko sa classic wall clock ng aking kwarto at nakitang pasado alas otso pa lang ng umaga. I was one hour late to my usual wake up.

"Dad," bati ko sa kaniya nang makabawi sa gulat.

Umupo ako sa'king kama at kinusot ang inaantok ko pang mga mata.

"Good morning," dagdag ko.

"You went home late last night."

Napahinto ako sa pagkukusot ng aking mga mata at umahon ang kaba sa'king dibdib. I don't have an idea if Kuya Joey seen me with Dax yesterday or not. Pero sinabi niya rin sa'kin kagabi na magdadahilan siya kay Daddy. For my entire years of living ay siya lamang ang naging driver ko and he's very loyal to me, like how loyal nanay is to me. Did he betray me this time?

"The tires of your car are old. You'll have your brand new Audi by Sunday. You can't go out this weekend."

Nakahinga ako nang maluwag— kuya Joey didn't betray me.

"When's your midterm exam?"

Tiningala ko ulit si Daddy at naabutan siyang seryoso akong pinagmamasdan. He looks different when talking to other people than he's with me. Sa ibang tao ay lagi siyang nakangiti at tumatawa, isang ekspresyon na ginagamit kung gusto mong magkaroon ng kaibigan. Pero kapag sa'kin, he's always stoic and authoritative— intimidating. He never showed me any gentler expression since I was born. He opened my eyes with the things he wants for me: I need to act high and mighty like him, I can only smile if necessary to. Just like him.

"Next week." Sa maliit na boses kong sagot.

"Monday? Then you should have woken up earlier. Eat your breakfast now and start studying." Utos niya.

Kinagat ko ang aking dila at mabilis na tumango at umalis sa kama. I searched for my slippers and went straight to the door.

"Tri," he called me again,  my hand halted above the doorknob.

Hinarap ko ulit si Daddy na sinusuri ang study table ko. Nanlaki ang mga mata ko nang buksan niya ang aking cellphone. Pakiramdam ko ay tinakasan ako ng hangin nang malinaw kong nakitang binuksan niya ang messaging app ko.

"Daddy," tawag ko at umambang lalakad palapit nang matanto kong hindi niya iyon magugustuhan.

He returned my phone to its place when I called him. Hinarap niya ako at naglakad patungo kung nasaan ako. He opened the door and went out. I swallowed hard and followed him to the hallway.

"You're not seeing anyone, don't you?"

Pinanatili ko ang tingin sa daan at marahang umiling. What made him asked that? Nakita niya ba ang messages ni Dax? But it's still on my message request.

"Sinisigurado ko lang. Getting into a relationship is not for you to decide. Focus first on your studies and you'll meet a man that deserves you in time." Aniya at naunang maglakad sa'kin dahil bumagal ang mga hakbang ko.

I know what he meant. I've heard them a lot of times talking about my future marriage. Although our family doesn't believe in marriage for convenience, that's what my mother wants. She talked to me about it once but I was very young to understand it yet. I'm still a little lucky that my father wants me to prioritize my studies than date guys my Mom wants for me. At naniniwala si Daddy na mahuhulog ako sa isang lalaki na makakatulong sa business namin balang araw dahil matalino ako.

But that never crossed my mind. All I want is to be freed from them.

"Bukas ay mapupuno na naman ang mansion ng mga panauhin, hija." Nanay spoke behind me as I try to read our previous lectures in one of our major subjects.

Fiesta bukas sa barangay namin at nakagisnan na ng mga magulang ko na maghanda ng marami at buksan ang mansion para sa mga taong gustong bumisita. Noong una ay akala ko ginagawa nila iyon dahil gusto nilang makihalubiho sa ibang tao ngunit nang magsimula akong mamulat sa katotohanan ng mga intensiyon nila, alam kong hindi sinseridad ang pag-iimbita nila sa mga tao. Ginagawa lamang nila iyon upang ipagmalaki sa kanila na kami ang pinakamayamang pamilya sa lalawigang ito. My father is trying to show them of how different we are from them.

"'Nay, pakisama sa mansion ang mga bata kapag nasa simbahan pa kami bukas para makakain sila." Pakiusap ko sa kaniya.

Sa nagdaang limang taon ay nagagawa ko lamang maipasok ang mga batang iyon sa mansion tuwing fiesta dahil hindi mapapansin nila Mommy sa daming dumadalong tao.

"Oo, anak. Pababaunan ko rin. Sa kusina ko sila dadalhin para hindi makapagsumbong ang ibang kasambahay."

Ibinalik ko ang atensiyon sa pag-aaral nang lumabas si Nanay. Sinarado ko ang unang libro nang matapos ko iyon at sinunod ang Income Taxation. I was searching for my calculator inside my bag when I saw the curtain on my balcony swaying aggressively. Tumayo ako mula sa'king study table at tinungo ang bukas na double door ng aking balkonahe.

"Trishastrea Yael! Yahoo!"

Halos masapo ko ang aking noo dahil kilalang-kilala ko ang boses na iyon. Inayos ko ang kurtina sa gilid at kung hindi ako nakailag ay natamaan na sigurado ako sa mukha ng mga pebbles na binabato ni Dax.

"Are you plain stupid? Hindi ba pumasok sa isip mo na pwede kang makabasag ng salamin o 'di kaya ay matamaan ako sa mukha ng mga binabato mo?" Salubong kong singhal sa kaniya pagkahilig ko sa batong barandilya.

And as usual, the boy he always is, smiling like an idiot from ear to ear like he didn't hear what I just said. I gritted my teeth and tried my very best to be patient. Hindi ako pwedeng magalit sa kaniya dahil kahit paano naman ay nagpapasalamat ako sa lahat ng ginawa niya para sa'kin.

He's wearing a black metal headband that gave way to show his forehead. Also a green printed hoodie and black cotton shorts that made him look like those English school boys I watched on Netflix. He's handsome, honestly. Kung mayroong anak si Leonardo DiCaprio ay siguradong siya iyon. He looks exactly like him as if they share the same genes.

"Sound proof 'ata kasi 'yang kwarto mo at hindi mo ako marinig. Kanina pa kaya ako tumatawag. I even messaged you but you're still not accepting my message request." He even pouted like a kid.

"Why are you here?" Mataray kong tanong kahit may hula na 'kong nandito siya dahil sinamahan niya ulit ang Mama niya.

"Sinamahan ko ulit si Mama. Pero hindi 'yon ang sadya ko bakit ako nandito."

Kumunot ang aking noo. He grins at me.

"I brought my bike!" Pinakita niya sa'kin ang isang kulay itim na mountain bike na malapit sa punong Narra.

"I came here to ask the princess to take a ride with me in my humble vehicle." He changed the tone of his voice katulad noong sa mga nagda-dub na princes sa Disney movies.

"Hindi ako pwedeng lumabas-"

"Hep-hep!" Pigil niya sa mga sinasabi ko at umapak pa ang kumag sa flower bed sa ibaba.

"Bawal kang tumanggi dahil alam kong malungkot ang buhay mo diyan." Biro niya ngunit tumagos iyon sa puso ko.

"Tara na! Minsan lang 'to! Nakita ko sasakyan ng mga magulang mo na lumabas na ng malaki ninyong gate. Pwede ka na tumakas!"

I made a face that made him smirk. "You're a bad influence." Kahit hindi iyon ang totoong nais kong sabihin.

I'm actually grateful that there is someone like him who can risk getting caught just to ask me out. Nakakasigurado akong alam niya kung gaano ka-istrikto ang mga magulang ko na hindi ako basta-bastang nakakalabas kasama ang ibang tao. But for him, it looks like he can do it effortlessly. How? I don't know.

"Ngayon mo lang natanto?" Natatawa niyang sagot.

I stare at him and wonder if I will ever be as brave as him one day.

Sumipol siya dahilan upang bumalik ang tingin ko sa kaniyang mukha. He's pointing his index finger to me.

"What?" Nakakunot noo kong tanong.

Nginuso niya ako at ginamit pati ang hintuturo niya upang ituro ako.

"Talon ka." He mouthed.

Nanlaki ang mga mata ko dahil sa sinabi niya.

"Are you crazy?!" Hiyaw ko at agad kong kinagat ang aking labi dahil napalakas ang aking boses.

"Mababalian ako kapag tumalon ako!" I hissed to lower my voice now.

"Ang O.A naman nito. Ang baba nga lang ng balkonahe!" Ganti niya.

Matalim ko siyang tinitigan. Tinignan ko ang distansiya ng balkonahe at nang lupa sa ibaba. Totoo namang hindi ganoon kataas kung sa gitna ng mga balustre ako aapak at tatalon. I did some heights activities when I was in high school kaya naman hindi ako ganoon katakot sa matataas na lugar. And I know how to balance my body when jumping from a high place.

"Handa akong sambutin ka!" Dagdag niyang pang-aasar.

Hindi sa natatakot akong tumalon pero baka magasgasan ako at alam kong mapapansin iyon ni Mommy. She will be mad.

"Ewan ko sa'yo! Hindi ako tatalon!"

"Sige. Ikaw bahala. Mabubulok ka diyan buong maghapon at hindi mo ako makakasama."

Pinandilatan ko siya ng mga mata. "And where did you get the idea that I want to be with you?"

He shrugged. "Dinala ng hangin ang iyong mga salita papunta sa'kin, binibini."

Ngumiwi ako dahil sa mga kalokohang lumalabas sa kaniyang bibig. Hindi bagay sa kaniya ang balagtasan.

"I'll stay here!" Pagtatapos ko sa usapan at umambang babalik sa loob ng kwarto nang sumigaw siya ulit.

"Ang ganda pa naman ng panahon, oh! Sayang naman kung mapupuno lang ng hangin mula sa aircon 'yang lungs mo."

I heaved and I can feel the smoke coming out from both of my ears. Bumalik ako sa barandilya at nilapat ang dalawang kamay sa pasimano. I lifted myself carefully to move to the other side and place my feet between the spaces on the baluster. I'm wearing a dress the reason why I tried my best to cross my legs while trying to move around to face the ground.

Naabutan ko siyang pinepwesto ang sarili sa ibaba at nakapikit ang mga matang nakatingala sa'kin. Kumunot ang noo ko sa ginagawa niya.

"I can catch you even when my eyes are closed!" Aniya at binukas nang malapad ang dalawa niyang braso.

Napailing na lang ako sa mga ginagawa niya at hindi ko rin naman inaasahan na sasambutin niya ako. I can jump without bruising myself, at least. Huminga muna ako ng malalim bago ako tumalon. I expected to land perfectly but I still end up falling on him. My face is on his shoulder and his hands are on my waist, protecting me from the fall. I quickly stood and acted like nothing embarrassing happened.

It's not embarrassing, I told myself.

"Sabi sa'yo hindi mataas balkonahe mo!" Sambit niya habang tumatayo at pinapagpag ang damit mula sa mga buhangin.

Hindi ko siya pinansin at nagtuloy sa bisikleta niyang nasa tabi ng puno. Tumakbo siya at inunahan ako, akala mo nakikipag-unahan ako sa kaniya.

"Nilagyan ko ng unan para komportable ka."He tapped the small pillow placed at the back of his bike.

Ngumuso ako at hinaplos iyon.

"Where are we going?" Tanong ko habang sinusuri ang kulay green na unan na may disenyong avocado.

"Kahit saan. Basta hindi tayo lalayo. Para lang maarawan ka!"

I lifted my eyes again on him and found him smiling at me. Sumakay siya sa kaniyang bisikleta at nginuso sa'king umupo na rin ako na ginawa ko naman.

"Place your hands around my waist, Tri." Aniya na walang pasubali kong sinunod.

It's just weird that I felt something inside my chest and I don't know what it is. Dahan-dahan kong niluwagan ang kapit sa kaniya at sa damit niya na lang kumapit. Nagsimula na siyang magpedal at doon ko lang natanto na sa gate kami dadaan.

"Makikita ako-"

"Sa orchard n'yo tayo dadaan para 'di ka makita ng guards n'yo."

Alam kong may daan sa orchards dahil doon dumadaan ang mga tauhan namin pero hindi ko akalain na alam iyon ni Dax. Mabilis siyang nagpedal at hindi ko alam kung swerte ba ako ngayon o ano dahil walang tao sa orchards, marahil hindi pa nakakapasok ang mga tauhan.

Nang makalabas kami sa maliit na gate ay sumalubong agad sa'min ang highway. Humampas ang maalinsangang hangin na kahit tag-ulan na ay tila summer pa rin ang panahon. Patagilid akong nakaupo kaya naman kinailangan kong bahagyang igilid ang aking ulo upang makita ang unahan dahil matangkad si Dax sa harapan ko. And he's right, the weather is too good just for me to spend my whole day inside my room.

The bright blue sky is clear with only a few traces of cirrus clouds. Lumiko siya at dumaan kami sa bike lane. Tanaw ang makapigil hiningang dagat ng Talisay at ang bulkang taal na hanggang ngayon ay nagbubuga ng usok. It's indeed a masterpiece only that it's also disastrous. Ang mga kulay berdeng puno na natatanaw ko sa malayo ay perpektong humahalo sa kulay asul na dagat at langit. Sa loob ng halos dalawamput-dalawang taon kong nabubuhay sa mundo, ngayon ko lang nakita ang lugar na kinalakhan ko.

It's because I grew up surrounded by four walls of my room and caged in a car whenever going out. This is my first time riding a bicycle and breathing fresh air outside the hacienda. It's amazing to experience this kind of life— to see the beauty of my own town.

"Is this your first time?" His voice was muffled because of the wind.

Ngumiti ako at tumango kahit alam kong hindi niya ako nakikita.

It feels great to experience things with him. Humigpit ang kapit ko sa kaniyang damit at tiningala siya kahit buhok niya lang ang kita ko.

"How about your Mom? Sino ang maghahatid sa kaniya pauwi?" I asked.

"Susunduin siya ni Papa. Baka masapok na ako ni Mama kapag inangkas ko pa ulit." He chuckled brightly.

I'm surprised. Hindi ko akalain na sumasakay sa bisikleta ang mama niya. My mother will never do it.

"I'm going to share something." He spoke again.

I gave my full attention on him as I tried to keep my balance sitting here. Mabuti na lang at hindi rin naman siya mabilis magpatakbo.

"Fun fact number one about me is that the car I'm using at school is not mine. Kay Papa 'yon pero pinapahiram sa'kin. This is my bike since I was first Year College. Regalo ni Mama kasi kalawang na 'yung ginagamit ko noong high school."

If it's just some other days when I first met him, I'd say that he's talking again about something I don't give a damn about, however, today is different. I know him... and I want to know him more. So, I will listen.

How can he so easily open up things to me is still a question because I don't know if I could do that too.

Maybe I could... with him. He'll listen. I'm sure of it.

"My father was a garbage collector before he becomes a Barangay captain. He was in his late 30s when he finished college. Si Mama naman ay kinailangan magtrabaho ng maaga kasi marami silang magkakapatid at hindi sila lahat kayang pag-aralin. She was also in her late 30s when she finished college. Parehas sila ng University at parehas ding sila ang pinakamatanda sa kani-kanilang section. That's how they met."

Tiningala ko siya at pinilit na tignan kung anong ekspresyon niya pero 'di ako nagtagumpay dahil masyado siyang mataas. But I'm amaze. Parehas na galing sa magandang pamilya ang mga magulang ko at hindi kailanman nakaranas ng paghihirap kaya siguro hindi nila maiintindihan ang mga taong katulad ni Dax. My parents are too proud. His are humble.

Would I be able to meet them? They seem and sound very nice people.

"Matanda na sina Mama at Papa kaya madalas kasama ako ni Mama kumuha ng mga gulay. Si Papa malapit na bumaba sa pwesto at wala na ulit balak tumakbo dahil ayaw niyang gawing trabaho ang pagiging kapitan. Si Mama naman ay magre-retire na next year kaya sa gulayan sa palengke na lang kami aasa." He chuckled a little.

"What's your mother's job?" I asked curiously.

"Principal si Mama sa elementary school sa bayan."

Oh! I remembered Nanay telling me that. Both of his parents are good people, so no wonder why he became one.

"Hindi ako nagpapaawa, ha. Kahit paano naman ay may naipon sina Mama para sa'kin at sa kapatid ko. Sinasabi ko lang kasi baka umasa ka na mayaman ako. Ang lakas-lakas ng loob kong magka-crush sa'yo tapos hindi naman tayo magka-level."

Tila may patalim na dumaplis sa puso ko nang marinig iyon. I've heard that a lot of times— from the people who sees me randomly, from my classmates, from our househelps— sinasabi nila na kahit kailan ay hindi nila ako mapapantayan at mananatili silang inuutusan ko lamang. But that's not true. That couldn't be true because I don't want to. Ayokong sino man ay maramdaman na wala silang karapatan na mapantayan ako dahil lamang magkaiba kami ng social status. I know it sounds privileged to say that we all should be equal, but that's what I want. I never wanted to be treated differently just because I was born with a silver spoon. In fact, I'm envious to people like him who grew up with parents who values relationships more than wealth.

And about what he said that he has no right to have feelings for me just because we're living different lives... it's not fair.

"Minsan iniisip ko kung tutuloy pa ba ako sa Med School, eh, ang gastos. Mag-aaral pa kapatid ko."

Naputol ang mga iniisip ko nang magsalita ulit siya.

"Scholarship?" I said.

"I'm applying. 'Tsaka pinipilit ako nila Mama." He shrugged. "Gusto ko tumuloy. Pangarap ko, eh."

"It's just four years. Pagkatapos no'n makakabawi ka na rin sa mga magulang mo. Mapapaaral mo rin ang kapatid mo." I tried to motivate him... at least?

Hindi siya umimik pero ramdam kong ngumingiti siya. My brows creased.

"Why?" I asked.

Mabilis niya akong sinulyapan at nakita kong nangingiti siyang umiiling.

"Do you know how to drive?" He instantly diverted the topic.

"I can ride a horse. Do you think I can't drive?" I asked sarcastically.

"Iba naman ang kabayo sa kotse. Ang kabayo kapag sinakyan mo at minandohan mong tumakbo, tatakbo. Ang kotse, kailangan mong pag-aralan."

Hindi ako sumagot. Well, he's got a point. But I don't want to prove to him that I can really drive.

"Joke lang. Syempre tama ka. Hindi nagkakamali ang prinsesa ko." Habol niya.

"Ewan ko sa'yo." Tanging lumabas sa bibig ko.

I bit my lower lip to suppress a smile. That term 'princess,' I used to love it then hate it that I even told him that I don't want to be called and treated that way anymore. Pero kapag siya ang tumatawag sa'kin no'n... I don't see anything wrong with it. Instead, it feels right.

"Do you want to fall in love?" He asked out of the blue.

My heart thuds loudly that I feel like it will come out of my body any time soon. Naalala ko ang sinabi ni Daddy sa'kin kanina. Getting into a relationship is not for me to decide. And it's not like I ever thought about that. But now that he's asking about it... do I want to fall in love?

"Of course." Sa mababang boses kong sagot.

I read a lot of romance books and watched a lot of romantic movies. Of course, I want to fall in love. I just don't know how and when.

"What age?"

I had my crushes back in high school but those doesn't lasts long. Ang alam ko lang, whenever I get attracted to someone, nawawala rin agad. And I barely set my eyes to someone. Parang dalawang beses lang ako nagkaroon ng crush.

"I don't know." I answered honestly.

"Wala ka pa bang nagiging crush?" Hindi niya makapaniwalang tanong.

"Meron. Dalawa? Noong highschool?"

Naramdaman kong natigilan siya sa sagot ko dahil bahagyang bumagal ang pagpepedal niya.

"Classmates mo o batchmates? Schoolmates?"

Tumingala ako at nag-isip. "I don't remember them."

Muling bumalik ang bilis niya sa pagpepedal at hindi ko alam kung anong naging reaksiyon niya sa sagot ko. Now I wonder kung saan siya nag-high school? Ngunit bago ko pa man din iyon maisatinig ay naunahan niya na ako magsalita.

"What's your ideal guy?"

I felt a hollow in my throat that kept me from talking. Weird because I read a lot of romance books but I'm not really sure about what's my ideal guy. Or is it because it never crossed my mind then. I fell in love with fictional characters without really thinking that they are my ideal guys in real life. I fell in love with their words... in their actions, without me noticing it.

"I don't know." Sagot ko ulit.

"Well," He voiced.

"Falling in love doesn't require a specific date of falling nor a list of particular traits you're going to look for a guy. It just happens." He added.

Huminga ako nang malalim at nilunok ang nakabara sa'king lalamunan.

"Ikaw? Do you have plans of falling in love?" I asked gently.

"You have no idea." He gravely uttered.

Hindi ko alam kung bakit uminit ang pisngi ko at sa halip na sumagot ay pinili kong manahimik. Crushing over someone is different from falling in love. It's way deeper.

"I'm just going to ask you again, 'wag kang magalit."

Nakuha niya ang atensiyon ko sa huli niyang sinabi.

"What is it?"

"It's been bugging me to know... why you don't have any friends?" Maingat niyang tanong.

They say that having friends is the best thing in this life. But I came to believe that friends come in different forms— you can be friends with animals, and that's fine. You could be friends with children even though you're too old for them, and it's still okay. Your family can be your friends. Everyone and everything can be your friends. Although I'm seen to not very close with everyone, looking like I don't have any friends, I do. I have my nanay. I have the kids. I have my horse, Snow. And him. He's my friend.

"You're my friend." Sambit ko.

Being friends with other people outside the mansion is hard for me, but Dax made it easier. He accepted me in his life when I made myself believe that I'm only capable of being friends with people either older than me or younger than me. Or sometimes I think I really don't know how to socialize because I can only play with a horse.

"I'm your friend?!" Natutuwa niyang untag.

I didn't repeat it and acted cool like it wasn't a big deal.

"Walang bawian 'yan! Kaibigan mo na 'ko! Well, I already consider myself your friend the moment I talked to you but now that you confirmed it, mas magaan sa pakiramdam. At least ngayon, hindi na lang ako ang mag-isang nag-iisip na magkaibigan tayo."

Inihilig ko ang aking noo sa kaniyang likod upang itago ang sariling mukha mula sa kaniya kahit alam kong hindi niya naman ako nakikita. I never felt this so alive and happy.

I lifted my eyes again and saw his hair dance softly with the wind. I'm very thankful that he's the one I'm with in experiencing these kinds of things in life.

"Thank you for... being patient." Lumabas sa bibig ko, sobrang hina na hindi ako sigurado kung narinig niya ba.

"You're not that hard to be with, Tri." He answered, still enthusiastic about what I said.

And I was even more surprised to hear that from him. He never thought of me as someone who is lonely when alone. At kahit kailan, simula nang makilala ko siya, hindi niya ako tinuring na parang iba. He treated me as if he was certain that we will be friends. He never doubted me. He was never intimidated by me. He's real to me.