Author's Note

Thank you for patiently waiting and making it until here! Always remember your right to know the truth and don't quickly believe in everything you read and hear on social media. Always do fact-check! May Reese be a reminder to everyone that journalists deserve recognition, too. They are working hard and risking their lives to serve us factual information. Again, maraming salamat po!

see you next at WILD SERIES #3: Please The Wild

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Wakas

Even when you don't want to move on, when you just one to keep yourself in one place, there are certain inevitable events in this world that will push you to do so... even you don't want it... even you don't like it.

I smiled widely as I am making my way towards her. Ang mahaba niyang kulay itim na buhok ay sumasayaw kasabay ng marahang hampas ng hangin. Ang tindig at ayos niya ay pino na tila ba ang isang katulad ko na marahas at malaya ay hindi karapat-dapat sa isang katulad niya.

I make my steps slow as I am nearing her. Kahit nakatalikod siya ay hindi ko pa rin maiwasang punahin ang kagandahang taglay niya. She's wearing our school uniform yet she still able to make it look like the most expensive and beautiful clothing in the world. Ganiyan ang nagagawa ni Mia sa lahat ng bagay na nahahawakan niya. That even me, who just a normal schoolboy before, she made me to someone I never knew. I feel like I am too precious to hold na tanging siya lang ang may kakayahang hawakan ako.

I spread my arms around her small waist and showed in her front the flowers I bought. I kissed her cheeks and put some strand of her hair behind her ears.

"White roses again? Pangatlong beses mo na akong binigyan nito ngayong linggo." Her words is complaining but the tone of her voice sounds like she likes it.

Pinilit niyang humarap at dahil masyado akong masunurin pagdating sa kaniya, niluwagan ko ang aking yakap sa kaniya at hinayaan siyang makita ako. She smiled sweetly at me that it reaches both of her eyes. Her eyes twinkled with so much happiness, and I swear to God that I will do everything to be just with her forever.

"Because I love you." Korni kong untag.

Pabiro siyang umirap at marahang hinampas ang bulaklak sa aking dibdib. Hindi ko na rin napigilan at natawa ako. Nagnakaw ako ng halik sa kaniyang labi na hindi niya naman pinagkait. I kissed her lips like the way she wants it: soft and sweet.

She withdrew from the kisses and put her palm on my lips. Kumunot ang noo ko nang makita ko kung paano umikot ang kaniyang paningin sa buong paligid.

"Tama na 'yon, Tobias. Nasa school tayo, oh." She uttered while slightly laughing.

Mas diniinan ko ang aking yakap sa kaniyang baywang dahilan kung bakit ibinalik niya ang tingin sa aking mga mata.

"Nagkalat ang mga campus journalist. Kapag nakuhanan tayo ng litrato, nakakahiya kung ilagay na naman nila ulit sa diaryo." Aniya.

Ngumuso ako nang maalala na may isang beses na nailagay kaming dalawa sa campus news paper. I don't know who took it but I am happy she did. At least, alam na ng lahat na ang magandang dilag na ito ay para sa akin lang. Whoever who will try to show interest to her, lagot sa akin.

"I actually like it." I said cooly.

Nagsalubong ang dalawa niyang kilay at matalim akong tinitigan. But even with her eyebrows furrowed and mouth shaping like a mad lioness, I still find her cute and very pretty.

"Gusto mo na nagiging laman tayo ng diaryo?" Hindi niya makapaniwalang tanong.

I caressed her cheek and shrugged. "Para alam ng lahat na akin ka."

Her cheeks blushed when I said that. Hindi ko alam kung may ilalapad pa ba ang ngiti ko pero iyon ang pakiramdam ko. Sa sobra kong saya na makita siyang namumula ay parang dinadala ang puso ko sa ibang dimensiyon ng mundong ito.

"Tara na nga. Mahuhuli pa tayo sa klase." She said and turned her back against me.

I chuckled and followed her when she tried to walk faster. Hinuli ko ang kaniyang siko at dahan-dahan ay pinadausdos ko ang aking kamay sa kaniyang mga daliri. I occupied all the spaces between her fingers and intertwined them.

"Ilang taon na tayong magkarelasyon, Mia. Hanggang ngayon nahihiya ka pa rin? You can just boldly say that you are happy, na kinikilig ka sa'kin." Pang-aasar ko.

Kinurot niya ang aking tagiliran dahilan para mapaatras ako pero hindi ko binitawan ang kaniyang kamay. She glared at me angrily but Jesus, why my girl is so cute?

"Natural na mapula ang pisngi ko!"

"But you aren't wearing anything. Blush on?"

"Sabing natural nga! Natural. Ibigsabihin hindi ko kailangang gumamit ng ano man para maging mapula ang cheeks ko." Maktol niya.

Watching her angry is like watching a kid having a tantrum. Ngumuso ako at pinigilan ang pagngisi ngunit hindi ko mapigilan at sumilay ang nakakalokong ngiti sa aking labi. Her glare at me intensified.

"Okay. Sabi mo, e." I responded in amusement.

Muli akong lumapit sa kaniya at hinila siya palapit sa akin. Sinubukan niyang kumawala sa aking yakap pero nang halikan ko siya sa pisngi ay sumuko siya at kumalma. She looked at me using her cute pout and eyes.

"Don't trigger me while we are walking. I might kiss you and we will both go through detention."

Muling namula ang sabi niya ay 'natural' niyang mapulang pisngi kaya naman tumawa ako. She pulled me with her while I can't still stop laughing with her cute reactions. We reached our department at hindi pa rin natatanggal ang busangot sa kaniyang mukha samantalang nakangisi naman ako.

"Nag-away kayo?" Salubong na tanong ni Romulo nang umupo ako sa tabi niya.

Sinundan ko ng tingin si Mia na dumiretso sa kaniyang mga kaibigan at inusisa ang binigay kong rosas. I smirked again when I saw Mia smiling proudly at her own girl friends.

"Nope. She's just really like that." Sagot ko at humalukipkip.

I stared at her and that's my hobby for the past years. Ang titigan siyang maligaya ay nagpapalambot sa matigas na puso ko. I never was like this not until I met her. Well, I love my parents and that's the only love I know. Loving someone romantically never crossed my mind not until I realized how much I don't want to lose her.

Mia is my childhood friend. Ang magulang namin ay dating magkaklase at matalik na magkakaibigan. We're not living in the same village but she's always in our house. Madalas rin kasing bumisita at mag-bonding ang mga magulang namin dahilan kung bakit naging malapit kami. We were exactly five years old when we started to share most of our lives together.

We attended the same school in kinder until high school. I was always there for her whenever someone is trying to bully her. Mia is a different type of person. Sa lahat naming magkakaklase, siya ang pinakatahimik at mahinhin. You can't see her interacting with our other classmates. Minsan kapag kasama ko ang mga lalaki kong kaibigan ay maaabutan ko na lang siyang mag-isang nakaupo sa sulok at nagsusulat o nagbabasa ng kung ano. At kung hindi ko lang siya kilala simula noong bata kami, hindi ko alam kung magkakaroon pa ba siya ng kaibigan.

She's sweet and very kind. The traits you will look for in a friend. It's just that she's very shy that she doesn't want to talk with anyone first. But then, as a boy who have a lot of friends, buong school nga ata ay kilala ako, hindi ako makakapayag na manatiling mag-isa at ako lang ang kaibigan niya. I helped her to go out of her comfort zone because she will not grow when she remains sitting alone and enjoying her own company. She needs friends.

"Ayoko, Toby. Nahihiya ako."

Hawak ko siya sa kaniyang palapulsuhan habang hinihila ko siya palabas ng classroom. We are now in grade 6, graduating na kami pero nananatili pa rin siyang tahimik. Nasa labas ang mga kaibigan ko na si Romulo at Miguel. Matagal na nilang gusto ring maging kaibigan si Mia ngunit sobrang ilap nito.

"Hindi sila nangangain, Mia. Trust me." I said to her while still pulling her with me.

Malapit na kami sa mga kaibigan ko nang marahas niyang inagaw ang kamay sa pagkakahawak ko. Gulantang ko siyang binalingan at nakita ko ang kakaibang takot sa kaniyang mga mata. Nag-iwas siya ng tingin at hinawakan ang palapulsuhan na ngayon ay namumula dahil sa hawak ko sa kaniya.

"Ayoko, Toby." Tangi niyang sinambit at umambang papasok ulit sa loob ng classroom ngunit hinarangan ko siya.

"Mia, they are nice people. Kung hindi sila mabuti, hindi ko sila magiging kaibigan." I explained.

"Kaibigan mo na pala sila, bakit kailangan pati ako?"

"Don't you want to have friends?"

"I enjoyed being alone. And you are my friend."

Parang may humawak sa puso ko nang marinig iyon sa kaniya. Pero determinado ako na matuto siyang makihalubiho sa iba.

I sighed and searched for her rebelled eyes. "Hindi pwedeng ako lang ang kaibigan mo."

"Pwede 'yon. It's better to have only one true friend than bunches of fake friends."

And at her age, she's very mature. But then, that won't erase the fact that she needs to learn how to socialize.

"I know, Mikaela Analisa. Pero hindi naman pwedeng ako lang ang kakausapin mo. Paano sa highschool? Paano kapag hindi na tayo magkaklase? Sino na lang ang kakausapin at sasamahan mo? Kailangan mong matuto paano makisama sa ibang tao para hindi na maging mahirap sa'yo sa susunod na taon ang makahanap ng kaibigan."

I saw how her eyes think. Tinitigan niya ako sa mga mata ngunit pagkaraan ng ilang segundo ay muling nag-iwas ng tingin.

"Ayoko pa rin. At saka, sino may sabi sa'yong hindi tayo magiging magkaklase? Magkaklase pa rin tayo. Kapag hindi, magpapalipat ako."

Napangisi ako sa sinabi niya. Tumango ako at tinagilid ang ulo.

"Paano kapag hindi pumayag ang mga teachers? Mia, listen, no man is an island. Tinuro na 'yan sa'tin 'diba? Kaya kailangan mong matuto-"

"Why do you want me to be friends with your friends?" Kumunot ang noo niya.

"Because I want my friends to be your friends. Nasasaktan ako kapag nakikita kitang mag-isa, Mia. Kung sasama ako sa mga kaibigan ko, mas masaya kung kasama rin kita. And don't worry, I am always with you. And they are very nice people. Don't you believe me?"

Lumagpas ang tingin niya sa likod ko. Sinundan ko iyon at natanaw ko ang mga kaibigan ko na pinapanood kami. Ibinalik ko ang tingin kay Mia at naghintay ng kaniyang isasagot. She sighed heavily and was still reluctant when she nodded.

"Trust me, they will be good to you." I assured her and pulled her towards my friends.

And unfortunately, what I told her happened. Pagtungtong namin ng grade 7 ay magkaiba kami ng section. Nasa dulo ang kaniyang classroom samantalang nasa gitna ang akin. Noong una, lubusan akong nalungkot habang iniisip na hindi ko na siya makikita araw-araw ngunit sa pagdaan pa ng mga taon, sa halip na mas lalo kaming maglayo, mas pinaglapit kami ng mga pagkakataon.

Grade 8 noong nagtabi ang mga classroom namin. Madalas ko na siyang makita at madalas pa rin naman siyang bumisita sa bahay dahilan kung bakit hindi naglayo ang mga loob namin. And to see her slowly getting out of her shell, makes my heart leaped.

She had friends and lost some along the way. She had her crushes that she always tell me about and got heartbroken. And same goes for me, we shared most of our lives with each other. Alam namin halos lahat ng nangyayari sa isa't-isa. Kilala ko ang mga kaibigan niya, at kilala niya ang mga kaibigan ko. Marami pang nagdaang taon at saka ko lang natanto kung ano nga ba talaga siya sa buhay ko.

She's smiling at me while she's on the third floor. Nasa ibaba kaming mga lalaki dahil naatasan kaming maglinis ng school ground. Ang iba kong kaklase ay nanonood at kasama roon si Mia na katabi ang kaibigan niyang si Dimax.

I wasn't a jealous person. Or maybe I was never because I was very young then to realize that I am. But now, we are already in the last year of our senior high school. I am growing and maturing, and I am serious when I said that I don't want her with Dimax. Dahil halata naman sa lalaking iyon na gusto niya si Mia.

"Tol, nasaan 'yong dustpan?"

Kinawayan ako ni Mia pero masungit ko lang na iniwas ang aking tingin. Naabutan ko si Miguel na natatawa akong pinapanood kaya naman hinampas ko ang kaniyang braso ng kamao ko.

"Selosong seloso ka naman, Toby! Bakuran mo na si Mia para wala nang makalapit."

I looked at him with dagger eyes. He raised both of his hands like he's surrendering.

"Easy! Suggestion lang naman para wala nang magtangkang umakyat kung sakaling lagyan mo ng napakatayog na pader."

Umiling ako at lumapit sa isang basurahan para maayos ang mga boteng ibebenta.

"She's my friend."

"She's your friend pero nagseselos ka?"

"Hindi ako nagseselos." I lied because I know that I am.

"Oh men, lokohin mo na si Romulo na tanga pero huwag ako. We've been friends for like years and I saw how you treated her. It's more than a friendly gesture."

Kunot noo ko siyang binalingan. Miguel smirked at me.

"Kilala mo si Letixia? Pinsan ni Dimax. Tinanong niya ako kung mag-nobyo at nobya kayo."

"And what did you say?"

"Edi sabi ko, oo!" Tumawa pa siya.

Binato ko sa kaniya ang bote at pabiro niya naman itong sinambot.

"What I mean, everyone thinks that there is something going on between you two. Hell, I would bet my life to know that everyone in this school already thinks na couple kayo."

"We're not."

"Exactly! Hindi kayo pero parang kayo."

Ibinaling ko ang buong atensiyon sa paglalagay ng bote sa supot. I like her. No. I love her. I know it sounds cringe but I've been thinking it for a while now what's going on my heart whenever I see her. Sa tuwing magkasama kami, kakaibang saya ang nararamdaman ko. At sa tuwing may kasama siyang iba, kakaibang selos at lungkot din ang nararamdaman ko. Natatakot ako na maagaw siya sa akin kahit pa alam ko namang wala akong karapatang angkinin siya dahil hindi ko siya pag-aari.

"Nakikita ko na kaibigan lang ang turing ni Mia kay Dimax. And years from now, magkakagusto din sa iba si Dimax kapag naging kayo ni Mia."

Dimax is my friend who has become close with Mia. Kaklase ko siya noong grade 9 at naging ka-team ko sa basketball dahilan kung bakit kami malapit. Medyo nag-drift away lang noong nag-grade 11 at nagulat na lang ako dahil mas malapit na siya kay Mia. I am not jealous as a friend, but I am jealous because I only want Mia's eyes with me. Yes, I wanted her to explore and socialize, to grow. But then, maybe there is still a part of me that selfish when it comes to her.

She can be friends with every guy on this earth all she wants but I want the assurance that I am the only guy she would consider as her lover.

But damn. How would that happen when we are nothing but friends?

"Umamin ka. Kapag mutual understanding, ligawan mo na. Sige ka, baka maunahan ka pa."

And I don't know why I trusted Miguel but that's what I really did. On that year, I courted her and she said yes to me after two months of courtship. At lubos akong nagpapasalamat kay Miguel na tinulak niya akong ligawan si Mia, dahil kung hindi, hanggang ngayon panigurado at magkaibigan pa rin kami.

Dimax is still her friend and I learned to accept that I can't be the only guy in her life. And Mia assured me na katulad nila Romulo at Miguel, Dimax is just a friend. And I witnessed how Dimax had his girlfriends when we entered college the reason why my opinion of him firmed. Magkaibigan lang sila at iba ang pagmamahal na mayroon si Mia sa akin.

College was the best year for both of us. We are officially together and everyone knows it. We were happy. We do the things like what normal couples do. We date, we kiss, and we love each other even harder. I can't ask for anything more because I am already blessed to have her in my life.

"Toby," Mia's mom welcomed me when I entered their house.

Ngumiti ako sa kaniya at nagmano.

"Si Mia po? You are stunning always, Tita." Ani ko.

Pabiro niya akong hinampas sa balikat at tinawanan. "Napaka-bolero mong bata. Nagpapalakas ka ba at aayain mo ng magpakasal ang anak ko?

Tumawa rin ako at sinabayan ang biro niya. "Pwede na ba? Matagal na akong handang pakasalan ang anak ninyo."

"Hay naku, Tobias. Bata pa kayong parehas. Marami pang bigas na kakainin. Saka ninyo isipin ang pagpapakasal kapag sigurado na kayong kaya ninyong suportahan ang magiging pamilya ninyo."

Ngumuso ako at tumango. Alam ko naman iyon. At hindi ako nangangamba na maghintay ng ilang taon pa bago ko mahingi ang kaniyang kamay. I am very willing to wait for her because I am very sure that I will spend the forever with her.

"Ilang anak gusto mo?" I asked her.

Nasa likod kami ng sasakyan ko habang tinatanaw ang tahimik na lawa ng taal. She looked at me in shock. I smiled and hugged her even tighter from the back.

"Anak?" Natatawa niyang tanong.

Tumango ako sa kaniya at nanatiling seryoso. Ngumuso siya at ibinalik ang tingin sa tahimik na harap. Madilim na at nagpapakita na ang mga bituin sa langit. Kagagaling lang namin ng Enchanted Kingdom nang magpasya siyang tumigil kami saglit dito para mapagmasdan ang mundo sa pinakatahimik na oras.

"I want two." She answered.

Ngumuso ako at pinagsalikop ang aming mga daliri. "Me, I want five."

"Lima?!" Gulat niyang tanong.

I chuckled and nodded.

"Ang dami naman no'n."

"Hindi mo ba ako pagbibigyan?" I tried to sound sad.

"H-Hindi naman sa gano'n. I m-mean, baka magbago pa ang isip ko."

Tinignan niya ako.

"Ako, hindi na magbabago isip ko."

Tinaasan niya ako ng kilay. Bumaba ang tingin ko sa kaniyang labi at pinanood ko kung paano kumibot ito.

"Edi five na anak natin. Isa-isa kada taon? Parang ang hirap naman no'n."

"Gabi-gabi natin gagawin 'yon kaya hindi mo na maiisip na mahirap-"

Hinampas niya ang aking kamay dahil sa pagbibiro ko. Tumawa ako at niyakap pa siya ng mahigpit. Ilang minuto siyang nagtampo sa akin dahil sa pang-aasar ko ngunit hindi naglaon ay nagpatuloy kami sa usapan sa magiging hinaharap namin. We planned our future like we never have a clue of what will happen along the way.

And I always pray na sana magkatotoo. Dahil hindi ko kakayanin kung... hindi.

"Toby," Garalgal ang boses ni Tita sa kabilang linya nang sagutin ko ang kaniyang tawag.

It's still 5 in the morning when I was bombarded with multiple calls from Mia's mom.

"Nasa Hospital kami. Can you go here now?"

Napabalikwas ako sa kama at agad umusbong ang kaba sa aking dibdib.

"W-Why? What happened?"

"Sinugod si Mia dito kaninang alas tres. She was suddenly losing breath a-and we were panicking. Hindi namin alam ang gagawin kaya-"

"Saang hospital?" Lumamig ang boses ko.

She told me the name of the hospital so I quickly changed and drove there. Hinanap ko kaagad ang room ni Mia at nang maabutan siyang tahimik na nakahiga sa kama habang nakapikit ay agad may sumabog na kung ano sa puso ko.

"Toby,"

Binalingan ko si Tita. Her eyes are swollen and the exhaustion is very obvious in her face.

"The doctor said..." Hindi niya natapos dahil agad siyang umiyak.

Nilapitan siya ni Tito at niyakap.

My tears are also on the verge already but I tried all my best not to cry.

"She has leukemia, Toby. And we will not know about it kung hindi pa siya halos makahinga kanina." Si Tito ang nagpatuloy.

At ang mabigat sa dibdib ko ay tuluyang sumabog. It breaks my heart into pieces hearing that the only girl I love is suffering from a life-threatening disease.

"And... they told us... na kapag hindi kinaya ng katawan niya..."

Umiling ako. I don't want to hear it.

"Toby," Her dad called me but I ignored it.

Dumiretso ako kay Mia at hinawakan nang mahigpit ang kaniyang kamay.

I ignored it. I ignored the fact and continue living the way I wanted it. I continue living with Mia beside me. Hindi ko lubos na sinaksak sa isipan ko ang mga posibilidad dahil hindi ako naniniwala.

Mia was released from the hospital after two weeks. Pinagpapahinga na lang siya sa bahay at hindi na sinuhestiyon ng doctor na magpatuloy pa siya sa pag-aaral. And no matter how Mia wanted to continue studying, ayaw namang sumugal ng magulang niya. At ayaw ko rin.

"Look, we're already halfway there, Mia."

Hinihingal na si Mia habang naglalakad kami sa mataas na bundok na ito ng seoul. We're nearing the Seoul Tower and Mia is already tired.

"Let's go." Aniya at hinila ako pero pinigilan ko siya.

She looked at me with her eyebrows furrowed.

"Let me give you a piggyback," I suggested.

Namilog ang kaniyang mga mata. "Ayoko nga! Nakakahiya!" Then she looked around.

Tumawa ako at pinilit siya at hindi naman tumagal at pumayag na siya. Ramdam ko rin ang pagod niya kaya naman mas nagpursigi akong mabilis na makarating sa Tower. And when we finally reached it, I can't help but mesmerized by her expression. I wasn't amazed at Seoul's view but rather at the beautiful lady I am with.

Despite the black shades underneath her eyes and pale skin, she still looks so beautiful than ever.

Siya ang nagkabit ng padlock namin na may nakasulat na "Mia and Toby, FOREVER." Pagkatapos noon ay hinalikan niya ang susi bago hinagis sa dagat.

"How I wish what written here will happen." Malungkot niyang sambit ngunit nakangiti naman siya.

Kumunot ang noo ko at iniwas ang tingin sa mukha niya. Umupo kami sa isang bench habang patuloy niyang ina-admire ang kagandahan ng lugar.

Sinabi ng Doctor na hindi makakabuti sa kaniya ang mag-travel ngunit masyadong makulit si Mia at pinipilit niyang pumunta kami dito. She told me and her parents that she always wanted to visit Seoul. We told her na gagawin namin iyon pagkagaling niya ngunit bigla na lang siyang umiyak at mga negatibong salita ang lumabas sa bibig. I don't want to hear moreso see her in pain. Para akong nakamulat na pinapatay sa tuwing nakikita siyang nasasaktan. Kaya naman kahit labag sa loob namin ay pinagbigyan namin ang kagustuhan niya.

And now we're here. In the city she always dreams to visit.

"Balik tayo sa loob. Gusto ko pa ulit bumili ng padlock."

I agreed with her and she asked me about what I want to write. I told her to write "Mia will live longer" which made her eyes teary. Ngumiti ako sa kaniya at inagaw ang padlock para magsulat ngunit inagaw niya ang pen sa akin.

Akala ko at iyon ang isusulat niya but I was shocked when I saw what is written there.

"Toby, don't forget me." Sambit ni Mia at pinatuyo iyon.

I looked at her with disbelief but she only smiled.

"Mia, erase that. It's not funny-"

"Anong problema dito? Totoo naman-"

"No." Mariin kong sambit.

Ngumuso siya at nag-iwas ng tingin. Lumabas siya dahilan bakit sinundan ko siya.

"Si Reese," She said the name of the girl we just met a while ago.

She looked at me and there goes the smile of her again. Sa likod ng nakangiti niyang mukha, ay isang pusong nadudurog dahil sa mga tumatakbo sa kaniyang isip. At hindi ko mataim na isiping habang ako patuloy na naniniwalang mabubuhay siya, siya naman itong sumusuko na.

"Gusto ko ring gawin ang mga ginagawa niya." Matamlay niyang sambit.

Nilapitan ko siya at hinawakan sa magkabilang braso. I looked at her eyes and I saw the tears in it.

"Magagawa mo rin 'yon, Mia. When we get back to the Philippines, you will promise me to make yourself healthy. Makakaya natin 'to. I am with you." Basag ang boses ko nang sabihin ko iyon sa kaniya.

Umiling siya at hinawakan ang pisngi ko. Tinitigan niya ako at para akong mababaliw habang pinagmamasdan siyang tahimik. I don't want her silence.

"What's on your mind? Don't turn silent, Mia. It scares me to think what's going on in your head."

Lumapit pa siya sa akin at siya na mismo ang nagbalot ng mga braso ko sa kaniyang katawan. She rested his back on my body and no matter how I wanted to enjoy the moment I am hugging her, I am bugged with the thoughts running in her head.

"Mia-" I was cut off when she spoke.

"Can you do me a favor?"

Kumunot ang noo ko. "What is it?"

"Promise me that you will love again after me."

Umigting ang panga ko sa narinig. Tumingala ako para mapigilan ang pagpatak ng aking mga luha.

"No." Mariin kong sagot.

"Toby, please-"

Hindi ko napigilan at bumitaw ako sa aking yakap sa kaniya. She looked at me painfully at hindi ko kayang tiisin iyon. Pero hindi ko rin kayang marinig ang mga sinasabi niya.

"I said no! Ikaw ang mahal ko. Ikaw lang ang mamahalin ko."

Bumagsak ang balikat niya. "But we both know that I have limited time. Toby, you're still young. You're still capable to find someone else."

Iniwas kong muli ang tingin at hindi umimik. Gumuguhit ang sakit sa aking dibdib na hindi ako nakakasigurado kung kakayanin ko bang ipakita iyon sa kaniya. And how I wish that I am strong enough to show her that I am hurt whenever she said those words. Dahil ayoko. Hindi ako magmamahal ng iba. I know that death is inevitable, but I still believe that she will live longer. She will not die.

"Toby..." She called me softly.

"I won't." I firmly responded. "Huwag mo na akong pilitin dahil hindi kita susundin."

She sighed heavily and searched for my cheeks. She touches it using her pale hands and instead of feeling the happiness I used to have, I am now deeply in pain.

God, I don't want to lose her.

"Leukemia? May leukemia si Mia?" Archie asked one time when he saw me sitting alone on the bench here in court.

Tulala ako sa kawalan nang sumulpot ang isang 'to. He's a new recruit from the freshmen. He's taking MedTech and although we're still not that close, hindi naman sikreto sa lahat ang sakit na mayroon si Mia.

I glanced at him and found his eyes watching the court, too.

"You're good at science, right? Tell me that Mia will live longer." I almost sound begging.

Malungkot niya akong nginitian. "Toby, Doctors are human they are not God. Pray and repent and believe that Mia will survive."

At hindi ko alam kung saan pa ako manghahawak. Sa bawat araw na nagdadaan, mas nanghihina ang katawan ni Mia. Ayokong pumasok sa escuelahan, damn, I want to stop for a while so I can have my full attention to her but she don't want me to stop. Gusto niya akong magpatuloy sa pag-aaral at wala akong magawa dahil sunod-sunuran ako pagdating sa kaniya.

I caressed her cheeks while she's sleeping soundly. Kagagaling ko lang sa school nang dumiretso ako dito sa Hospital. Sa nagdaang mga buwan na nananatili siya dito, ito ang naging tahanan ko. Dito ako umuuwi at binabantayan siya. Umuuwi ako sa bahay para maligo at kumuha ng damit at muli akong babalik dito pagkatapos ng klase. And whenever I see her smiling, mas nabubuhayan ang pag-asa sa puso ko.

And now, watching her sleeping soundly while her chest is normally beating makes me believe that she will live longer. Naniniwala ako.

"Toby, magpahinga ka muna. Kagagaling mo lang sa escuelahan." Tita said.

Binalingan ko siya at umiling. "I can rest while watching her."

Mapait siyang ngumiti at lumapit sa akin.

"Ang swerte ni Mia sa'yo. May boyfriend siyang mahal na mahal siya at maalaga."

"Mas swerte ako kay Mia. I don't think I deserve her but she still accepted me as her boyfriend." I smiled and looked at my peaceful sleeping Mia.

Hinawakan ni Tita ang aking balikat dahilan nang pagtingala ko sa kaniya. Naabutan ko ang pagtulo ng luha sa kaniyang mga mata habang pinagmamasdan ang anak.

"Parang kailan lang ang lakas lakas pa ni Mia. And then suddenly... s-she's like this." Nabasag ang kaniyang boses.

Agapan akong tumayo para mayakap siya. Humagulgol siya sa aking yakap at gustuhin ko mang huwag umiyak ay hindi ko kinaya.

"I always pray to the Mighty God to still give her years... t-to make her live longer..."

"She will survive, Tita. Maniwala tayo. Lalaban si Mia. She's strong. Alam kong lumalaban siya."

And that's what I always wanted to believe in. Na lumalaban siya at mabubuhay pa siya ng mahabang panahon. I trusted Him.

Patago kong binuksan ang cellphone nang mag-vibrate ito. I am in the middle of a class discussion at maaga pa naman. Ito ang unang klase dahilan kung bakit masigla pa ang iba kong mga kaklase.

I opened the message and I physically felt my world crashed when I read what's written in the screen. Walang pasubali akong tumayo at lumabas ng klase nang walang paalam. Tinakbo ko ang distansiya ng hallway palabas at agad kong naramdaman ang paghampas ng hangin sa akin.

"No, Mia. Lalaban ka." I said those, trying to make myself believe that what I read on the phone is not true.

Tumulo ang luha ko at wala na akong panahong palisin sila. Mabilis kong pinaandar ang sasakyan at ilang beses pa akong muntik madisgrasya sa highway. And half of me is trying to convince me na sana nga madisgrasya na lang ako. What is living without her?

Padabog kong sinarado ang pintuan at hinanap ang kwarto ni Mia. I opened the door aggressively and found Mia's parents, mine and Dimax standing around the bed and crying.

"Mia!" Tita screamed painfully.

Bumagsak ang aking balikat at tila napako ang sarili kong mga paa sa lupa habang pinagmamasdan ang babaeng walang malay sa kama.

"Toby," Mom called me.

"Wala...w-wala na si Mia."

And my tears fell like madness. Sinuntok ko ang pader at sumigaw dahil sa labis na pighati.

I trusted and believed! Naniniwala akong hahaba ang buhay niya! I prayed more than a million times but why you still take her away from me?!

"Toby," Mom tried to calm me but I continue punching the wall.

She hugged me and I am so weak that I finally gave up. I hugged my Mom and then there I cried harder.

"She's not gone! Hindi pwede!" Sigaw ko.

"She's gone."

Humiwalay ako kay Mama at nilapitan ang kama. Binigyan ako ng espasyo ni Tito para malapitan ko siya ng husto. And for my entire years of living, I have never been this hurt. Ang sakit ay tumatagos sa puso ko na para bang mulat akong sinasaksak.

Niyakap ko si Mia at nang maramdaman ang lamig ng kaniyang katawan ang nagpadagdag ng sakit sa aking puso. Patuloy akong humagulgol at niyugyog siya na para bang nagloloko siya at gigising siya.

"Mia, wake up! I know you're just joking and you want to see me cry. Well, it's not funny. You need to wake up now or I will leave you."

Ngunit walang sumagot. Walang nagmulat ng mga mata. Walang gumalaw. Walang nagbalik buhay.

Panibagong luha ang nagbagsakan.

"You promised me! Nangako ka na lalaban ka! Marami pa tayong pangarap! Mia, you need to wake up! You need to wake up! Mia, please..."

"Toby," Mom called me again.

"Mia, gumising ka. Huwag mo akong iwan. Hindi ko kaya. Hindi ko kaya ng wala ka." Pakiusap ko sa boses na gumagaralgal.

"Toby, kailangan na siyang kunin."

Mas humigpit ang yakap ko sa kaniya. Ayaw kong ibigay siya kahit kanino. Magigising pa siya.

"Mia, wake up. Nandito na ako. You need to wake up. We still need to fulfill our dreams together."

But how dreams supposed to become reality when she's not here anymore? She was buried and I was excruciatingly in pain. I stayed all night beside her grave, praying that she will wake up even it is already beyond impossible.

When she left, I know that I am dead, too.

I didn't attend classes. I almost failed my subjects if only Miguel and Romulo didn't help me. I always stay in the cemetery all day and all night just to be with her. Ilang linggo ang lumipas at iyon ang patuloy na naging sistema ng pamumuhay ko. Nasanay akong paulit-ulit na bumalik at matulog sa tabi ng lapida niya. Dahil sa ganoong paraan ko lang nararamdaman na kasama ko pa rin siya. Sa ganoong paraan ko na lang mararamdaman ang pagmamahal niya.

Tumulo ang aking luha habang pinagmamasdan ang kaniyang pangalan na nakaukit sa lapida.

"I miss you so much. Bumalik ka na." I whispered in the wind.

Pumikit ako ng mariin at dinama ang pag-agos ng aking mga luha. Umaasa na sa muli kong pagmulat ay magpapakita siya... pero imposible na.

Nag-angat ako ng tingin nang maramdaman na may tao. Dimax's eyes are dark when he looked at me.

"You didn't attend classes again?" Tanong niya.

Nag-iwas ako ng tingin at hindi umimik.

"Mia told me na magpatuloy ka sa pag-aaral. And look at what you are doing to yourself."

Umigting ang aking panga. Mia wants me to study. Hindi ako matalino at magaling, ngunit dahil kay Mia, nagkakaroon ako ng rason para patuloy na mag-aral. Pero ngayong wala na siya... ano pang saysay na magpatuloy sa buhay? I lost my life when she was gone.

"Toby, I was there when she told me-"

"And how unfair, Dimax! Kasi ako, hindi ko man lang siya nakausap sa huling sandali niya! She left without even saying goodbye to me! She left me without a single word!" I shouted painfully.

Hindi siya nakaimik sa sinambit ko. Sinapo ko ang aking noo at tahimik na umiyak. Halos mamanhid na ang sarili kong puso sa nagdaang buwan ay araw-araw akong nasasaktan. Hindi ko pa rin lubusang matanggap ang pagkawala niya. Hindi ko matatanggap ang pagkawala niya.

You should have told me you are going to leave, Mia. You should have said to me your last 'I love you.'

Ang dami kong pinagsisisihan. Sana nandoon ako bago siya nawalan ng malay. Sana narinig ko pa ang boses niya bago siya tuluyang nawala. Sana nandoon ako... sana hindi na lang ang malamig niyang katawan ang naabutan ko.

"Man," Sinubukan ni Romulo na agawin ang beer na iniinom ko sa loob ng kwarto pero iniwas ko ito.

"Anong ginagawa ninyo dito?" Malamig kong tanong.

"You've been ditching class for two weeks straight, Toby. Pwede ka ng ma-drop out-"

"Mas mabuti pa." I said nonchalantly and drank my beer.

Inagaw iyon ni Miguel kaya matalim ang ipinukol ko sa kaniyang tingin.

"Give me back that, Miguel."

Binuksan niya ang bintana ng kwarto ko at walang pasubaling tinapon iyon doon. I shrugged and get another on the case I have on my side table. Narinig ko ang marahas nilang paglapit sa akin at inagaw ang case ng beer.

"What are you doing to yourself, Man?! Tingin mo ba magugustuhan ni Mia na makita kang ganiyan?!" Romulo shouted to my face.

I smirked without humor. My tears are again on the verge.

"Wow. Ang daling magsalita 'no?"

They sighed. "Toby, Mia is gone-"

"You don't understand it." Mariin kong sagot.

"But she's gone and you need to move on-"

"Ang dali para sabihin sa inyo 'yan kasi hindi kayo ang nawalan!" Sigaw ko.

"Mia is our friend. We are hurt, too-"

"Pero hindi katulad ng sakit na nararamdaman ko! She's the love of my life and now she's gone! She's gone forever!" And my traitor tears fell.

Sinapo ko ang aking noo at tumingala at marahas na sinuntok ang pader. They went silent as I burst out crying. I love her so much.

"No matter how I tried to accept it, I can't! Dahil buhay na buhay siya! Nandito siya!" Tinuro ko ang dibdib ko.

"Nandito siya! At kahit kailan hindi ko magagawang kalimutan siya!"

I went to the Enchanted Kingdom many times so I can feel her embrace from the wind. I went to the Tagaytay Market and ate street foods alone like we used to. I started attending classes again but I am always at the oval. Ibinaling ko ang atensiyon sa paglalaro ng basketball para kahit paano ay maramdaman kong buhay ako... pero wala pa ring saysay.

I am so lost. I am so lost when she left. The love in my heart is gone. The will to live is just a merely a word to me. But then I remember Mia who always wanted me to study, iyon na lang ang dahilan kung bakit ako nagpapatuloy na mag-aral kahit hindi ko na kaya. Katapusan ko na, iyon ang nasa isip ko. Ngunit gaano mapaglaro ang tadhana para ibigay sa akin si Clarisse noong mga panahong akala ko hindi ko na magagawang mabuhay pa.

Clarisse painted my dull life with rainbow colors. She gave light to my darkest days. And no matter how many times I tried to push her away, she remains determined to be part of my life. And maybe I will live my life full of regrets if I didn't let her enter my life.

I am having a meeting with my players when all their eyes went to my back. Kumunot ang noo ko lalo na nang makita na ngumisi si Levi.

"Woah!" Danilo shouted amusingly.

Binalingan ko ang aking likod at halos malaglag ang aking panga na makitang naglalakad palapit si Reese sa akin. Wearing their journalism shirt and pants she still looks so sexy. Humalukipkip ako at ikiniling ang ulo. I waited for her to get near me and when she did, my heartbeat doubled when she kissed my cheeks.

And for the first time, for the two years of living in miseries, she is the only girl who made my heart alive again. She playfully turned her back against me and proceeded to her job as a campus journalist. And I feel like I am the luckiest man alive for having her as my girlfriend.

Ngumisi ako at ibinalik ang atensiyon sa players but when I saw them eyeing my girl, gusto ko na lang suntukin sila isa-isa. They saw in my expression that I don't like their stares so they all cleared their throat and stood straight. Nahagip ng tingin ko si Baste na malamig ang tingin sa akin. He is her brother and he knows my past. I want to tell him that I won't hurt his sister... but I am not sure about it.

"Where did you get your eyes?" I randomly asked while we are here in the library and she's doing her works.

Hindi ko matago ang kasiyahang nararamdaman sa tuwing nakikita ko siyang seryoso sa ginagawa. It's peaceful to watch her doing the things she loves.

"From my mother. Her ancestors are German."

And her voice, it's so satisfying. Malinaw at may malambot na diin sa bawat salita. I raised my hand and put it in her nape. I massaged her because she seems tired already.

"Bakit mo natanong?" She probed.

"They look beautiful." I responded while staring directly at her green eyes.

She's not like Mia... and I don't know when it started. I hated her for being bold and carefree. I hated her for making my life chaotic. She's far different from the girl I loved. But today... it's making me confused.

The heartbeat I am feeling when I see her and the different happiness I have whenever I'm with her are unexplainable.

I sighed that made her looked at me.

"What?" Tanong niya at naabutan akong nakatitig sa kaniya.

I sighed again and shrugged. Ibinalik niya ang tingin sa ginagawa ngunit nang maramdaman ulit ang titig ko ay sininghalan niya na ako.

"Why are you staring at me? Kanina ka pa!"

"Nothing..." I said slowly.

Umayos siya sa pagkakaupo at hinawi ang takas na buhok. And here my heart beat again. Nilapit ko pa ang sarili sa kaniya at hinaplos ang maikli niyang buhok. My eyes went down to her red lips and I badly want to kiss her.

We're in a relationship but we both know that we're not serious. And I am starting to wonder... how is she as a serious girlfriend? Is she still like this? Dahil ako, sa lahat ng pinakita ko sa kaniya, walang kasinungalingan doon.

"I'm just curious of how..." I trailed off.

Bumaba ang kamay ko sa kaniyang baba. I tried to kiss her but I stopped.

"How?" Tanong niya.

Ano 'tong mga naiisip ko? Hindi ko alam. I promised to love only Mia... but what I am doing?

"Nevermind." I said and kissed her cheek before I stood and walked out.

Ngunit sa patuloy na pagdaan ng mga araw, habang mabilis na tumatakbo ang oras, mas lalo akong naguguluhan sa sariling nararamdaman.

I visited Mia's grave to be sure of my feelings. I tried to remember the past but it doesn't give the same chills to me anymore. All I can think about is her... my Clarisse.

"Mia wants you happy, Toby. Wala na si Mia. Buksan mo na ang puso mo sa iba. If we can just hear Mia from here, malamang sinasabi niya sa'yo ngayon na kalimutan mo na siya." Mia's Mom told me nang maabutan ako.

I sighed. "I can't, Tita."

"Maybe you can't now. But the time will come and you will fall to the other girl. And please, open your heart. Huwag mong gawing dahilan si Mia para ikulong ang sarili mo sa nakaraan. You loved my daughter, you made her happy, it's already enough, Toby. Ikaw naman. Ikaw naman ang sumaya."

Hindi ako nakaimik sa sinabi ni Tita. The wind silently kissed me. I lifted my eyes to the heavenly sky and smiled sadly. Can I love again? Pwede na ba, Mia?

My feelings continue to be confusing. And I wanted to deny it. Fuck. I denied it many times already. But when I remembered how she cried that night in the amusement park, when I saw her with her ex, I feel like I was lost again for the second time.

And I can't afford to lose her now.

But I guess I am too late. She told me she loves me but all I thought about is Mia. And for the first time in my life... I regret that I said I love Mia. Because it's now a lie.

"Gusto kong umasa, Mia... gusto ko pa ring umasa na babalik ka... gusto ko pang manghawak... pero may aasahan pa ba ako?" I started when I visited her grave again.

For the past months, I was lost. I tried to go to EK with Clarisse, eat street foods with her, and stayed in the oval like I am seeing her as my Mia. But then, I realized that she's not her. She is Clarisse. Magkaibang tao sila.

Mia is dead. Clarisse is very alive.

And I am here to apologize.

"I love you... but I learned to love Clarisse, too. Please forgive me. Gusto kong tuparin ang pangako natin sa isa't-isa pero ang hirap nang gawin no'n ngayong wala ka na. Kaya... patawad kung nagmahal ako ng iba. Gusto ko lang maging masaya. At si Clarisse lang ang makakapagpaligaya sa'kin. Siya ang mahal ko."

Sa nagdaang buwan, natutunang hindi maglandasan ng mga luha ko. Muli lang silang lumabas nang magpaalam si Clarisse. And I still clearly remember her face on the Ferris wheel. It breaks my heart to see her in pain. I never promised to not hurt her... and I regret it. I should have promised to never hurt her.

"I know that you want me to love again. Si Clarisse ang mahal ko, Mia. Siya ang gusto kong makasama sa habang buhay na ito."

And I don't know but I feel like the heavyweight on my chest vanished when I finally accepted that I love Clarisse. Gumaan ang puso ko nang sabihin kay Mia na mahal ko na si Clarisse.

A hard punch from Baste is what I received. Inawat kami ng ibang players ngunit pinigilan ko sila. I deserve this.

"That's for making my Ate cry! Putangina mo, Toby! Sana hindi ka na lang niya nakilala!" He shouted at me.

At tinanggap ko ang lahat ng masasakit na salita at suntok niya. Dapat lang sa akin iyon. Who in their right mind would hurt the girl they love? Ako lang. Sabi ko ayaw kong makita siyang nasasaktan pero ilang beses ba siyang umiyak ng dahil sa akin? I fucking hate myself for that. At para mapawi ang lahat ng sakit na dinulot ko sa kaniya, gusto kong malaman niyang mahal ko siya. Pero huli na ako.

For the second time, I was deeply in pain again. When I saw her happy in New York, doing her job and talking to a man interestingly, it makes me realized that I shouldn't be selfish this time.

She's happy and contented. Sino ako para guluhin pa siya? Ang importante para sa akin ay ang makita siyang masaya. But I can't deny the truth that I was deeply regretful for not quickly realizing that I am in love with her.

And when we met again, I promised myself that I will tell you honestly what I truly have for you. And if you don't have the same feelings for me anymore... I will still pursue you in the right way.

If it is destined to happen, it will happen. I met her again and she accepted me for the second time. And this time, I promised to never break her heart anymore.

I find her job dangerous. I already lost Mia, and I can't afford to lose Clarisse. But I know how much she loves her job. This is her dream since then and I won't ever take it away from her. Even if it is dangerous, I'll support her. I love Clarisse so much. More than anything.

What I felt with Mia is truly a love, she's my first love but Clarisse... I don't know if I can still able to live if I won't mark her as mine. I want her for me. I want her to mother my future kids. I want her to be my wife. I want her in this lifetime... until death. Before I was wishing to meet Mia again in another life, now it changed. Mia, may you forgive me but I want Clarisse over again. I want to meet her even at different times. Siya lang ang gusto kong makita ng paulit-ulit sa iba't-ibang buhay at pagkakataon. I am this crazily in love with her.

"Nasaan po si Mama at Clarisse?" Tanong ko sa nakasalubong na kasambahay.

I and Clarisse are temporarily living here in their mansion. Ayaw niyang iwan ang kaniyang ina mag-isa at hindi rin naman ako nagmamadaling bumukod. And I know for sure, months from now, Baste will tell us that he's now going to marry.

Niluwagan ko ang aking neck tie dahil kagagaling ko lang trabaho. Ngayong araw lang ako napaaga ng uwi dahil hindi ko alam. I just suddenly missed my wife and I want to kiss her. Siyam na buwan niya na at ilang araw o linggo mula ngayon ay maaari siyang manganak. I'll take a break next week so I can be with her.

"Ay Sir! Sinugod po sa Ospital si Ma'am. Manganganak na ata-"

Nagulat ako sa narinig mula sa kasambahay. Hindi ko na siya pinatapos dahil matinding kaba ang bumalot sa aking dibdib.

"Anong Hospital?" Tarantang putol ko.

"Sa TMC po ata-"

Hindi ko na siya pinatapos at mabilis na akong tumakbo palabas. Pinaharurot ko ang aking sasakyan papuntang Ospital at naabutan sina Mama at ang matalik na kaibigan ni Clarisse na si Zaijan sa labas ng room.

Huminto ako at hinarap si Mama. She smiled at me and I can't think straight anymore because all my thoughts are running about my wife.

"Nasaan ang asawa ko, Mama?" Kabado kong tanong.

Tinapik niya ang aking balikat. "Huwag kang kabahan, Toby. Nanganak na ang asawa mo at nagpapahinga na sa loob."

"Anong oras pa kayo nandito? Nakaanak na siya agad?"

Tumawa si Zaijan kaya napabaling ako sa kaniya.

"Pagkaalis mo, bumisita ako sa inyo. Nagsimulang dumaing si Reese kaya dinala namin siya dito. We wanted to call you pero mariin niyang binilin na huwag sabihin sa iyo-"

"And why would she try to not tell me?" Agap ko.

"Ayaw niya daw maabala ka sa trabaho. Toby, of all people, you know how much Reese treasures work jobs. Hindi ka no'n aabalahin kahit pa manganganak na siya."

Hindi ako nakaimik nang maisip ang asawa kong nahihirapang manganak mag-isa. Dapat ay nandoon ako pero nasa trabaho. At ilang taon ko na naman itong pagsisisihan na wala ako sa tabi niya?

"Gising na po siya. Pwede na kayong pumasok sa loob." Anang nurse nang lumabas ito.

Mabilis akong pumasok at halos malaglag ang puso ko nang makita ang asawa na matamlay na nakahiga sa kama. Nilapitan ko siya at gustuhin ko mang yakapin siya ng mahigpit ay baka hindi pwede.

She smiled at me but I remained my serious expression. I am not happy that she didn't tell me about it.

"Bakit hindi mo ako pinatawagan? I didn't see you delivering-"

"Toby, huwag ka ng magalit sa akin. Pagod ako, oh." Tinuro niya ang mukha gamit ang hintuturo.

Huminga ako ng malalim at ano bang magagawa ko? Hindi ko siya kayang tiisin. She searched for my hands and held it. Gusto kong magsuplado pero nanlalambot ako sa tuwing hinahawakan niya ako.

"Gusto ko makita baby ko."

Umawang ang labi ko nang ngayon palang mag-sink in sa akin na lumabas na ang baby namin. All I think about is her that I almost forgot about our baby.

"I'll tell-"

Naputol ang aking sasabihin nang dumapo ang tingin niya sa likod ko. Nakita ko ang nurse na dala ang isang sanggol at inalagay ito sa tabi ni Clarisse.

"This is my baby?" Her voice croaked.

Lumapit ako at tinignan rin ang maganda kong anak. Kumabog ng husto ang puso ko at agad namuo ang luha sa aking mga mata.

I once questioned Him for taking away Mia from me and took many years to finally realize that everything happens for a reason. The day I married Clarisse is the day I found out that He always has good plans for us. And whatever happened in the past, it's all part of our journey to take us to the place we never wished to be, but He planned for us to be.

I hold my daughter's hand at hindi ko na napigilan at tumulo ang luha ko. Clarisse wiped my tears away and I heard her chuckling but I ignored it. I am busy with our baby that I can't take my eyes off her.

"You always cry, Toby. It makes me wonder if you're a real man."

Ibinaling ko sa kaniya ang atensiyon.

"A real man cries." Singit ni Zaijan na pinapanood pala kami.

Ngumuso ang asawa ko at tinaasan ako ng kilay.

"Ibigsabihin mahal mo talaga ako, 'no?" She chuckled again but tears are forming in her eyes.

Bahagya akong tumayo at hinalikan sa noo ang asawa. "I love you. Dati, ikaw lang. Ngayon, pati ang anak natin. Thank you." I whispered to her.

She smiled at me and turned her eyes to the Nurse.

"I want to name her Mikaela Analisa." She informed me that made my eyes turned round because of shock.

Ibinalik niya sa akin ang tingin at ngumiti.

"I always want to remember Mia, Toby. I will thank her everyday because if not her, walang Toby sa buhay ko."

And what more reason can the world give me to love my wife even harder?

"Oh my god! I heard you gave birth na!"

Napabaling kaming lahat nang sumugod papasok ang mga katrabaho ni Clarisse sa kwarto. I gave them way so they can see our baby. At wala na akong ibang hihilingin kundi makita ang asawa ko na masaya, hindi lang sa'kin, kundi pati na rin sa mga kaibigan niya.

"I will be back at work, maybe two months from now. Narinig ko sa balita ang kaso ni Librador. I want to take the part on writing the story about it." Clarisse said.

Sabay kaming napailing tatlo nila Mama at Zaijan. Kapapanganak palang ngunit nasa trabaho na agad ang isip.

"You can't tame a person who dreams wild, Toby." Natatawang komento ni Zaijan.

I smiled while looking at her. Maybe they are right. I can't tame a person who dreams wild, because I can't tame myself, too. I go insane whenever I see Clarisse. Hindi ko alam kung paano niya nagagawang magwala ang puso ko. But whenever she touches me, I am at my own serenity.

Lumapit ako sa aking asawa. Lumabas ang ilang bisita para kumain ng tanghalian dahil dumiretso sila dito agad. I sat on the chair beside her bed.

She's smiling happily while caressing our baby's fingers.

"You asked me before where do you stand in my life," I said randomly that made her look at me.

Hinawakan ko ang kaniyang kamay at tinitigan siya sa mga mata.

"Baby, you occupied the whole space in my heart. You are my life." I wholeheartedly uttered.

I saw how her eyes glitter.

"You are what I needed the most, Clarisse. And our baby. You are both my angels." I added.

"You are my life, too, Toby. I love you so much." She whispered back which made my heart leaped.

Before I was dreaming a forever with Mia, now it changed. I am praying for a family with Clarisse for a lifetime because she is my reality. That no matter how cruel life is, she can make my heart in peace. She can tame my heart when things aren't falling into places. She fixed me. She completed me. She's my other half that I don't want to lose.

I never wanted to lose Mia, but I am happy to met Clarisse.

"I love you a million times. And I will thank the Father eternity for giving you in my life." I leaned to kiss her forehead.

And now I am ready to start the new chapter of our life with our Mikaela Analisa Alcaraz.