[Paper Hearts was like based on Looking for Alaska and this book is the same thing for How I Met Your Mother except for the fact iTS HAPPY AND NOBODY IMPORTANT DIES that show ruined my life & it was taken off Amazon prime so I can't rewatch it I want to die I've been trying to ease myself into Grimm]

B: Okay so I don't know his name

B: BUT

Pe(pe)te: you got in his pants and you're no longer a virgin and now you're on the run from the police because he turned out to be an identity-less murderer and the only way they can find out who he is is to steal his DNA from you but you love him so you're running away so that won't happen

Tyler!: Pete go home

Pe(pe)te: I'm not even drunk this time

Tyler!: YOURE UNDERAGE you're not suppoSED TO BE IN THE FIRST PLACE

Dundundun: let Brendon speak

B: okayokayokay

B: I think

B: maaaaaaaaaaaybe

B: maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaybe

B: he might've been flirting

Tyler!: with u right

Tyler!: otherwise this gc becomes an awkward stage for planning a murder

Dundundun: who would he flirt with

Dundundun: the dogs

Dundundun: the children looking at the dogs

Dundundun: the cougar moms searching for a new chihuahua

Pe(pe)te: chihuahua is such a weird word

Tyler!: I just asked a question ok

Pe(pe)te: just. tell us what he said

B: he asked what a pretty face like mine was doing volunteering so early in the morning so ig he was probably flirting with me ?

B: he also winked n smiled

Tyler!: that's called flirting.

Dundundun: yes yes I like where this is going give me more

Pe(pe)te: ^^^^^

Ptrick: I need more elaboration

Dundundun: the flirtation sounds familiar

B: put that familiarity back where it came from or so help me

B: he also stood super close half the time

Pe(pe)te: how close

B: it was like I had a rlly cute shadow or smthn

Tyler!: he's taking control abort mission abort mission

Pe(pe)te: weewooweewoo he's protective

Dundundun: but you gotta tell us more did you talk to him about anything importante

B: no we spent the entire morning in complete silence while he possibly flirted with me a few times

B: he's like shy ig

Tyler!: is he shy or not make up ur mind

B: ok it's like he's forcing himself out of his comfort zone & he's doing a damn good job @ making it look like it isn't forced

Pe(pe)te: salt

Tyler!: ah young love

Ptrick: but low key that's cute

Tyler!: details details is he smart

B: should that like matter

Tyler!: yes?? Do you want stupid children

B: if I could birth children. I would be taking that precaution.

Dundundun: we're just looking out for you okay stupid people do not contribute well to children's learning habits

Ptrick: hey now. there isn't a category for stupid

Pe(pe)te: im called stupid when it comes to academics because my highest academically inclined grade was a B- but with art people call me a genius it's all from perspective

Tyler!: u right u right

Tyler!: josh is pretty stupid and I still love him

Dundundun: at least I qualify for bilingual + like 6 other languages

Tyler!: I failed the test by 1 question okay French is hard

Dundundun: Ce n'est pas très difficile
[it isn't very difficult (or somethin along those lines)]

Pe(pe)te: NOBODY. UNDERSTANDS YOU.

B: WAIT FRENCH THAT REMINDS ME

Ptrick: qué

B: HE SAID SOMETHING IN FRENCH

Dundundun: what did he say gimme

Tyler!: how is he supposed to type it if he didn't know what it was

B: he wrote it on my arm when I asked him what it meant and said to look it up when I got home but I forgot because I had homework for biology and history

Tyler!: did u do ur homework

B: I had to do you know how my mother is

Tyler!: ur mom is on vacation with ur dad neither of them are home

B: shut up

Pe(pe)te: SEND IT THE SUSPENSE IS KILLING ME

B: OKAY GIMME A SEC

B: sausage

Tyler!: he wrote sausage on your arm

Tyler!: why

Pe(pe)te: I KNOW WHY

Dundundun: PETE NO

B: I MEANT TO TYPE SAUVAGE NOT SAUSAGE

B: die @ Pete

Ptrick: josh what does it mean

Tyler!: tell us French boy

Dundundun: why did he write wild on your arm

Dundundun: is there anything after that

B: he wrote other things in French but idk what they mean

B: quatre-vingt sept

Ptrick: can't you just type this into google translate

Tyler!: I'd trust josh with my homework not google translate

Tyler!: google translate is the snake of the internet

Pe(pe)te: don't compare Taylor to google translate she's better than that
[NOT A WORD. ABOUT TAYLOR. I LOVE HER.]

Dundundun: wild 87???

Pe(pe)te: DETECTIVE MODE

Pe(pe)te: Jk im too stupid for detective stuff Patrick go

Ptrick: just because I'm into the CSI and FBI stuff doesn't mean you can call on me to do your dirty invasive work

Pe(pe)te: yeah but you wanna be in the CSI or FBI think of this as practice

Ptrick: okay fine

Ptrick: yknow what girls do

Tyler!: gossip

B: cry

Tyler!: idk

Dundundun: beat us at like everything

Ptrick: okay wow that's not what I meant & who hurt you josh

Ptrick: they write their phone numbers on their friend's arm

Tyler!: what kind of girls do you know

Ptrick: the ones in the movies

Dundundun: that explains it

B: so u think he essentially wrote his phone number on my arm

Pe(pe)te: Patrick wrote his chat name on my arm when we met

Pe(pe)te: I almost got it tattooed because it was hilarious

Dundundun: why would you tattoo doglover3983 on your arm

Ptrick: I was 12 okay

Ptrick: the point is

Ptrick: do a search for either wild87 or wild-87 or anything similar

B: I'll do it later I want to get food

Pe(pe)te: no this is important

B: but I'm hungry

B: I can't find mystery guy on an empty stomach

Dundundun: get back here or so help me

B: I'm gonE

Tyler!: wait no

Ptrick: he gone