There's gonna be some Samyle, Dapper and Jaith in here so... I hope you don't mind those ships. I'm trying out a new writing style with fonts so it's easier to read.

Oh and also, in my AU, Will is captain of his high school soccer team.

Kyle: [panicking because of a hard level in a video game]

Sam: Kyle, look at me. You can beat this level. And if you don't, I'll break up with you and date someone else.

Kyle: Aw, that's so sweet.

———

Will: If we shouldn't eat at night, then why do they put a light in the fridge? Huh?

———

Sam: I got grounded for a whole week just because I came home late.

Nixel: Well, you deserved it. I mean, getting everyone's hopes up like that and then showing up again.

———

Nathan: Where were you?! You were gone for 4 hours! I know, because I sang "All Star" 86 times.

———

Elly: You're stupid.

Sam: That's it?

Elly: Give it some time. It'll eat at you.

[Later]

Sam: Hey, am I stupid?

Eteled: Yeah, a little.

Sam: Damn her.

———

Nixel: My life isn't as glamorous as my wanted poster makes it look like.

———

Cooper: This is such a bad idea.

Will: Then why are you coming along?

Cooper: One of us needs to be able to talk the cops out of arresting you guys when this inevitably goes wrong.

———

Faith: Sam, not to be nosy, but I've been wondering, are you attracted to girls?

Sam: No.

Faith: Oh! So then you like boys?

Sam: No.

Faith: So you like neither? Are you totally uninterested, or do you-

Sam: I like Kyle.

Faith:

———

Kyle: Is that my hoodie?

Sam: [literally drowning in the hoodie] NO

———

Kyle: I don't give a fuck.

Sam: [shivering]

Kyle: Are you cold, love? You need my jacket? A blanket? A hug? Come sit over here, I'll cuddle you.

———

Faith: I'm sick of everyone calling me cute. From now on I will only feel one emotion to prove them wrong and it's anger.

Jane: Last night you texted me a bunch of heart emojis.

Faith: Out of anger.

———

Corrupted Mii: So, who's the clingiest?

Sam: [sitting on Kyle's lap with their arms wrapped around his neck and face buried into his chest]

Sam: Kyle, obviously.

———

Cooper: My partner must be top of the line, graceful-

Dan: Hey my name is D- [trips over air and falls face first onto the floor]

Cooper:

Cooper: I want that one.

———

Nixel: You look nice today.

Sam: Why are you being so nice to me? Did you kill someone?

———

Sam: So, my sister is no longer allowed to take out the trash at night. Why, you ask? Because I've caught her 4 times now trying to train the raccoons to fight.

Nixel: You'll be thanking me when my raccoon battalion comes to save your life!

———

[over the phone]

Kyle: Why are tampons so expensive?

Sam: I'll pay you back later, just hurry.

Kyle: No I mean like, you don't choose to have your period. You have to have it. And you pay so much for it.

Sam: Yeah, I know.

Kyle: Sorry, it's just really unfair.

———

Will: [to his soccer team after a long day of losing] Listen, you're my team and I love you, but you're all terrible.

———

Sam: In my whole life I've only said "I love you" to two people and every cat I've ever met.

———

Sam: Kyle was getting on my nerves today so I told him I couldn't wait to see what he has planned for our special day tomorrow.

Sam: There is nothing special tomorrow.

Sam: But there is something special about watching the color leave his face as panic takes over.

———

Nixel: Being the failure of the family is tough, but someone's gotta do it.

Nixel: Shoutout to Sam for stepping up to the plate. Love you.

———

Jane: Do I have a boyfriend or a girlfriend today?

Faith: Since you ate the last slice of pizza last night, today you have an enemy.

(A/N: sorry i just really love genderfluid Faith)

———

Dan: I've noticed we've been slowly phasing the 'B' out of our Bromance.

Cooper: There was a 'B'?

———

Sam: Promise me you won't start any fights this time.

Nixel: Fine, I promise I won't start any fights.

Sam: Thank you.

Nixel: I will finish them, though.

———

Sam: I have a headache and Google says I'm going to die.

Eteled: [getting his axe ready] So Google's been sending you death threats-

———

Nixel: Sam and I have a weird relationship. Like, I'd give them my kidney, but I'd rather die than share my food with them.

———

Nixel: I can explain.

Sam: Can you really?

Nixel: Yeah, just give me thirty seconds to think of a lie.

———

Sam: We all have our demons.

Faith: [grabbing Jane] This one's mine.

———

[on their first date]

Jane: So what do you like to do?

Faith: [remembering that Jane likes bad boys/girls] Sell drugs.

Faith: [remembering that Jane also likes sensitive people] To kids in need.

———

Cooper: Love is dumb.

Cooper: [looking over at Dan] And I'm the dumbest bitch alive.

———

Will: Getting my friends mood rings so I know when my homies need a hug.