Inspired by ProcrastinatingStudi who was also inspired by me

Mr Cotard: explaining that nothing is real

Elly: Is death real?

Mr Cotard: No.

Sam: So what you're saying is, death isn't real, so if I stab myself, I technically won't die because death never existed in the first place and therefore can't happen.

Mr Cotard: Uhh....

Sam: I HAVE A NEW LIFE GOAL

Kyle: TAKE ME WITH YOU

Sam: I CAN'T, BECAUSE IT DOESN'T EXIST AND NEITHER DO WE

Nathan: I'm so confused-

Mr Cotard: I give up. The kindergarteners were a lot easier than this.