Such Deceiving Forms is a fanfic by ProcrastinatingStudi . Go follow them and read their book if you haven't already. Also, spoilers.

Most of these are just Joey being a terrible person tbh-

Joey: Two shots, of vodka...

Joey: *pours the entire bottle*

———

Teenage Joey: Don't tell your mother!

Teenage Vivian: Kiss one another?...

Teenage Joey: DIE FOR EACHOTHER

Teenage Vivian: *falls over*

———

Joey: Okay you know what- YOU'RE IN TIMEOUT! GET ON TOP OF THE FRIDGE! GET UP THERE!

Kid Sam: This house is a fUCKING NIGHTMARE-

———

Joey: Every time you yell at your kids, put a quarter in your no-yelling sock, and soon you'll have a weaPON TO BEAT-

———

Sam: I AM THE NECKLACE GUARDIAN! GUARDIAN OF THE NECKLACE!

Kyle: MONDELLA QUIVERS BEFORE HER

Sam: *to the scientists* FUCK OFF

———

Eteled: Owimoweh

Kyle: Owimoweh

Kate: Owimoweh

Nathan: Owimoweh

Sam: EEEEEEEEEEEE-

———

Joey: How old are you?

6 y/o Sam: Six.

Joey: *picks her up and yeets her into a lake*

———

Joey:

Joey: That moment when you walk into a room and forget why you're in there- *gets stabbed by Sam*

Joey's ghost: Oh that's right, I was getting chased by my crazy daughter!

———

Female scientist: *hiding*

Kyle in Chroma form:

Kyle: Red robin!~

Female scientist: *jumps out from closet* Yum!

Female scientist: *panicking* OH NO, OH NO-

———

Sam in the first few chapters: Aaaaah- heh

Sam in the later chapters: Aaaaaaaaah...

Sam in the second book: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

———

Joey: Hey so today my daughter pushed me, so I'm starting a kickstarter to put her down.

Joey: The benefits of killing her would be, I would get pushed way less-

———

Vivian: *pointing camera at 5 y/o Sam* Say Colorado!-

Joey: *running by* I'M A GIRAFFE!

———

Joey: Go! *pulling the sled from beneath Sam* Heheheheh...

Joey: Get! *pulls it again*

Joey: I won't move it, I promise!

Kid Sam: Okay...

Joey: *pulls it from under her again*

Joey: Hop on! *pulls the goddamn sled again*

Kid Sam: *crying*

Joey: I'M THE BEST! #1 DAD

———

Teen Joey: Hey, don't be afraid to put yourself out there!

Teen Joey: Just walk outside-

Someone: YOU'RE A FAGGOT!

Teen Joey: Or just stay inside...

———

Vivian: HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOOD FOR ME?!

Joey: THAT'S MY OPINIOOOOON

Vivian:

Sam:

———

Joey's evil side: If you play it, you get a hundred million dollars.

Joey's good side: But a hundred million people would die.

Joey: *playing harmonica*

Joey's good side: jOEY NO-

———

Joey: *singing* Bring the beaté!

Scientist: *running with a beet* aNYTHING FOR YOU BOSS-

———

Female scientist: Did you kill... the Chromas?

Male scientist: I thought you wanted, to do that.

Female scientist: Hm hm HMM. You were WRONG.

———

Sam: What the FUCK is up, Kyle?

Sam: No, what did you say, what the FUCK, dude.

Sam: Step the FUCK up, Kyle.

———

Joey: Oh sorry, I fell asleep while I was waiting on you to make me a sandwich!

Vivian: Go back to sleep. And starve.

———

Joey: I shoulda left you the moment you were born.

Sam:

Sam: But 'cha DIDN'T!

———

Vivian: There's only one thing worse, than dying.

Vivian: *rips off paper so it says "our daughter dying"*

Joey: *gasp* Our daughter!

Vivian: No-

———

Vivian: What would you do, if there was a child right in front of you?

Joey: *smacks Sam outta the way while beatboxing*

———

Joey: Hey, accidents happen, how do you think Sam got here?

———

Vivian: Joey, I want a divorce.

Silence

Joey: Divorce.

Joey: *laughs*

Vivian: It's not funny, Joey. And you know it's been coming for a long ti-

Joey: *laughs again*

Vivian: Why do you always laugh when I'm upset?

Vivian: I'm absolutely seri-

Joey: *laughs again*

Vivian: I'm serious this-

Joey: *laughs again*

Vivian: Stop laughing!

———

Kyle: There's a mushroom on your shirt.

Nathan: Aww! I'm a faiLURE-

———

Joey: *sliding down stair rail* We're all going to hell~

Joey: Goodbye!

———

Kate: Kyle, go put those corndogs back!

Kyle: *sliding away* YOU CAN'T MAKE ME DO ANYTHING!

———

Joey: Ay, how ya-

Kyle in Chroma form: *snarling*

Joey: *screeches* GET YO FUCKIN CHROMA BITCH-

Sam: It don't bite.

Joey: YES IT DO BI-

And that, ladies, gentlemen, or whatever you are...

Is the end of Such Deceiving Vines.