Nothing Where Something Used To Be
There are loud noises coming from the kitchen and it wakes Lindsey up from a restless sleep. He pulls on a robe and walks down the hallway, thinking he will find Stevie banging around. He looks at the clock on the way, realizing it's much too early for her. He walks into the room to see a half dressed man, bent over, digging through the lower cabinets.
"Can I help you?" Lindsey asks, crossing his arms.
"I wanted to make Stevie coffee, but I couldn't find the cups"
"Upper right cabinet closest to the sink. Hers are all the hand painted ones. She likes the big one the best" he says.
"Cool" Brock says.
"She likes Folgers. Cream, not milk."
"I guess I'm going to need to know that"
"I guess you will" Lindsey stands in silence for a moment, watching this bumbling idiot try and figure out their coffee maker. "Just let me do it" Brock steps aside and Lindsey goes about making the perfect cup of coffee. He's done it for years.
"Thanks" Brock says sarcastically. "I don't even know why you're still here"
"Excuse me?"
"Thirteen years of just hanging out, being with the kids and not with a smokin hot lady like that? What made you stay? Are you that much of a sap?"
"Stevie and I work and frankly, it's none of your business"
"Not well enough though. And it is my business. I'm going to be marrying her in a few months"
"Lucky you!"
"Damn right I'm lucky. You're jealous of me, you have been since she mentioned me. I have everything she needs and more."
"That's great, Brock. I'm not interested in talking further. Here is her coffee, have a good day" Lindsey says, walking away. Trying to keep from decking him was the hardest thing he has ever done. He hated him, how he treated Stevie, how he wasn't that interested in the kids except when he needed to be. He was like a child himself in action, he never grew up and it showed.
"No, wait" Brock says, grabbing Lindsey's arm. "We need to talk, dude"
"I'm not interested in talking, dude. I've helped you enough"
"You haven't done anything. So you made a cup of coffee, big whoop!"
"You couldn't do it, so I wouldn't call it nothing."
"Fuck you. You're always doing shit like this"
"What?! I barely know you!"
"Everything in her world revolves around you and what you want. You're her Jolene"
"So you're begging me not to take her from you or something? You're nuts."
"She literally talks about you in her sleep. She smiles when you walk in the room. You're messing up a good thing here"
"We divorced twelve years ago! If I get in your way, what you have isn't so great" Lindsey says with a condescending laugh. He's so close to letting him have it.
"You think?"
"Oh, I know. If you want to know why I stay, why do you?"
"My dad is stepping down. I need a wife and I love Stevie"
"She's a trophy" he says, based on what Brock is insinuating.
"Look at her"
"I do look at her. She's beautiful, but she's also one hell of a mother and she has the biggest heart I've ever seen. She loves hard, Brock. Don't hurt her"
"You don't need to worry about what I do"
"Sure. What happens when someone else comes around?"
"There won't be anyone else"
"I heard Stevie say this is your longest relationship. You couldn't make it past a year before her. What kind of commitment is that?!"
"Daddy?" Callie calls from the doorway, clearly still tired.
"Honey, go back to bed. I'll start breakfast soon" She doesn't respond, just turns to go back to her room. "Can't we stop this now? My kids are awake and they don't need to hear us fighting like children ourselves"
"Back off then" Brock shouts.
"You started in on me first! I'm not going to back off because my kids are obviously involved!"
"Fuck your kids! She's my fiancée and I can do what I want!"
Lindsey sees red and clenches his fist. He wants so badly to hit him but he can't. What will Stevie think? "Fine" Lindsey says. "Just leave my kids out of this, don't talk about them" His voice is calmer now. "I don't appreciate you acting as if they don't matter. Stevie and I love them and I just think that if you're going to marry her, you should care about Callie and Dylan too."
"I really don't care what you think" Brock says, shoving roughly past Stevie who had woken up and come to the kitchen.
"What happened?" Stevie asked.
"Nothing, Stephanie"
"Lindsey...what happened?" She asked again, pulling her robe around herself a little more. She looked so beautiful with a bare face. A total angel.
"Let's not talk about this now" he says and she nods.
Brock comes back fully dressed and storms through. "Your coffee is on the counter. I have a meeting"
"You didn't say anything about--"
He silences her with a kiss that made her stagger backward and walks past Lindsey. "By the way, I drank your last beer." Lindsey clenched his fists again, watching Brock leave. He hated that man's very existence and how petty to have a parting shot like that.
"Ugh" Lindsey said in frustration. Stevie leaned against the counter, sipping her coffee and smiling at the warmth. All his anger melted away when he saw her again. "Good morning, Stevie. I'm sorry"
"Good morning. Something totally happened." She says matter-of-factly, taking another sip of her coffee.
"No, not really"
"Then what was all of that?"
"I don't know. I really don't know." He says, shaking his head.
"Lindsey, I think we should talk...about the other night." She says, sitting her coffee down in the counter. "I shouldn't have come to you like that. We don't do that anymore"
I will admit that you're the closest I have come
There's just something about you that I trust
I didn't say but I was sad to see you go
You went back to the ghost, I went back to what I know
"What are you trying to say?"
"I'm getting married, honey. We can only be friends. You think I don't see what's happening here but I do. It hurts me too. I love you, Lindsey"
"Don't say it if you don't mean it" Lindsey says, feeling conflicted. He wants to tell her so much but he can't, not like this.
Seems like every night, meet my friends at some bar
I tell myself I'm thinking but I'm just drinking 'til I feel far away
Saw your buddy, said he talked to you last week
Said you seemed pretty bummed, you've been wanting to call me
Do it do it, do it do it
You should do it do it
Do it do it
'Cause now there's nothing where something used to be
'Cause now there's nothing where something used to be
"I do mean it" Stevie says. "Don't tell me what I feel"
"Do you know how cruel that is to say to someone? If you see what's happening, why can't we act on it?"
"I'm scared!" She cries.
"Bull shit!"
It's confusing cause I'm the one that left, it was pre emptive
I don't know who I am
Are we all searching for something we don't understand?
Someone else to see through our battle plans
You should do it do it
Do it do it
You should do it do it
Do it do it
'Cause now there's nothing where something used to be
'Cause now there's nothing where something used to be
"Tell me what to do, Lindsey."
"Marry him and forget about me. I will be there for our kids but we can't do this anymore. My heart is in pieces"
"And you think mine isn't?!"
I try to remember there's no future there's no past
I try to remember if it can last then it will last
Try to remember it
'Cause now there's nothing where something used to be
'Cause now there's nothing where something used to be
"Then do something about it! I can't make a move until you do. I love you so much it hurts. Don't you feel it?"
"Of course I do but we don't work!"
"Yes we do!" He yells back.
Do it do it, do it do it
Do it do it, do it do it
'Cause now there's nothing where something used to be
Do it do it, do it do it
Do it do it, do it do it
"No we don't" she weeps. "I don't want us to be ruined forever. We have had some beautiful times together and I don't want to mess that up."
"We can make more beautiful memories if you just say the word. I love you and you said you loved me. Stop being scared and try again. I'm not going anywhere regardless of what happens. You've seen me stay and help for thirteen years. You're the one who is running away"
"I'm tired of fighting."
"Fine, have it your way," he says. He watches her cry for moment and goes to her, kissing her hard on the lips. She's taken aback, not really sure what happened. "I love you and that will never change. I just wish you could say the same to me. Something has changed with us and I don't know what it is. I'm just as scared as you"
Lindsey leaves the room and Stevie braces herself on the counter so she wouldn't end up on the floor, in tears. So many thoughts rush through her mind and she can't make sense out of any of them. "Shit" she says, knowing she had said way too much and now they were both in pain. Moving forward would prove to be a bitch now.
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