What had just happened?

Olivia sat on a stone bench in Ravenscroft's garden, having had to escape from everything, her breakfast forgotten and her mind whirling. Everything seemed to be happening at once. A perfect storm wreaking havoc with every aspect of her life.

That morning, she hadn't known how to face Adrian. Not after the night they just shared. Not after what she'd realised in the early hours of the morning. She'd watched him sleep, the moonlight casting shadows across his face, and the truth had hit her with stunning clarity—she loved him. Not just desired him, not just wanted him, but truly loved him.

It was why she'd fled his room. Because how could she face him after knowing that? How was she supposed to look at him, knowing how completely he'd claimed her heart? Not when she didn't know how he felt. He might have cared for her once... but lately, it had been nothing but games and seduction. Revenge.

Part of her was scared the night they just shared was still part of his punishment for hurting him when she abandoned his ship. Abandoned him.

They needed to talk. She knew that. But they'd been interrupted by Dash.

Out of all the people.

She pressed her cool hands to her heated cheeks. She'd crossed an ocean to find him, had spent years convinced she loved him. And yet... seeing him today, she felt none of the old fluttering in her chest, none of the old yearning. Even those had been pale imitations of what she felt for Adrian. Had she never loved Dash at all? All this time, had it been nothing more than a childish infatuation?

It was embarrassing to think she'd made such a fool of herself over something that wasn't even true love. How immature had she been to think those feelings were eternal love? All she felt when Dash showed up now was the comfort of an old friendship... and the mortifying knowledge that she'd have to confess why she'd really gone to America.

"There you are!"

She startled at Dash's cheerful voice. He strolled toward her bench, looking as carelessly handsome as ever. How strange that the sight of him no longer made her heart race.

"Mind if I join you?" At her nod, he dropped onto the bench beside her, his gaze roaming the manicured lawns of Ravenscroft's estate. "Quite a pleasant morning for the garden."

"It's fine enough," she agreed, her fingers tapping against the stone surface beneath her. "How was America? Did you enjoy your time there?"

"Oh, the usual excess of drinking, gambling and general debauchery." He grinned. "But to think we were both in America at the same time! I wish I'd have known and I could have sought you out."

She smiled faintly. "I attended a few social events in New York, but we must never have been in the same place at the same time."

A dark chuckle escaped him. "Yes, I am quite certain we frequented quite different establishments."

Even the reminder of his rakish ways didn't seem to faze her anymore. A few months ago, such a comment would have caused a twinge in the region of her heart. Now? Nothing. Other than possibly a concern that her friend was burning his candle from both ends. She tilted her head to the side and looked at Dash, really looked at him.

He sat next to her with his usual languid grace, face turned up to catch the morning sun. To anyone passing by, he would appear the picture of careless contentment. But now that she was really looking, she could see the tension around his mouth, the slight shadows under his eyes that spoke of more than simple debauchery.

"Dash... are you happy?"

He startled at her question. For a moment, something raw flickered across his face before the usual lazy smile returned. "What a peculiar question. I'm never anything but delightful."

It didn't escape her notice that he didn't actually answer her question, but before she could press further, he turned to her with deliberate lightness.

"I'm far more interested in knowing what's going on between you and Warble. That was quite a charged little scene I interrupted this morning."

Heat crept into her cheeks. "Nothing is happening..."

"No?" His blue eyes sparkled with sudden mischief, though she wondered now if it wasn't partly deflection. "Then perhaps I imagined seeing two figures leaving the library rather hastily when I arrived last night."

"You... what?" She realised her mouth was agape and promptly closed it.

"I must say, I never would have thought the library such an exciting place. Maybe I ought to read more." His voice held teasing warmth. "Though it does make me wonder what happened during your voyage on his ship. I feel there's a story there."

"Dash..."

"Come now, old friend. I've known you for years, and I've never seen you look at anyone the way you look at him." His tone gentled. "Including me."

She stared at him, mortification flooding her and making her cheeks burn. "You knew?"

"About your... regard for me?" A wry smile touched his lips. "I did. I'm not as blind as people seem to assume."

"You..." Her fingers dug into the stone bench, her voice emerging tight with sudden anger. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't want to embarrass you," he admitted, having the grace to look uncomfortable when she turned her glare on him. "You never said anything directly, and I thought... well, I thought it might pass on its own. And it appears a trip to America did just that."

She let out a harsh laugh. Oh, she might as well tell him. This morning could hardly get any more mortifying.

"I went to America to find you." The words tumbled out in a rush. "I thought I was in love with you, and when you left... I convinced myself I had to follow. Had to confess my feelings before you found an American heiress or something."

For once, Dash looked genuinely surprised. "You what?"

"Don't feel too pleased with yourself," she muttered, though her anger was already fading. "I realise now it wasn't real love at all. Just a foolish infatuation that I built up in my head."

"Because you know what real love feels like now?" The teasing was back in his voice, but there was something gentler underneath.

"I don't know what you mean."

"Don't you?" He shifted on the bench to face her properly. "I may have only arrived last night, but I can see what's between you and Warble. The way you look at each other... it's rather obvious something significant has happened."

"It's not..." She broke off, twisting her hands in her lap. "It's complicated."

"Love usually is." Something in his voice made her look up sharply. For a moment, that raw emotion was back on his face before he masked it. "Take it from someone who knows."

She studied his face, noting again the tension around his mouth, the shadows in his eyes that his carefree manner couldn't quite hide. "You sound like you're speaking from experience."

"Do I?" He turned his face back to the sun, but his smile held no humour. "Perhaps I am."

"Dash..." She touched his arm gently. "I'm here if you want to talk about it. I can tell something is bothering you."

"Of course not." But his voice was too light, too careful. "I assure you I'm just as delightfully dissipated as ever. Now, about you and Warble..."

"You're changing the subject."

"Yes, I am." He patted her hand where it still rested on his arm. "I'd much rather hear about what's been happening between you and Warble. You love him, don't you?"

"What? I..." The immediate instinct was to deny it, but something in Dash's expression stopped her. Maybe it was time for honesty. "Yes," she said quietly. "I do."

"Does he know?"

Twisting her hands in her lap, she shook her head. "I hurt him, Dash. In New York... We..." Why was this so hard to talk about? "On the ship, we... grew close. But when we reached New York, I panicked, and I... I left. Didn't even say goodbye."

"And now?"

She swallowed hard. "So much has happened since then, and I don't know if..."

"If you love him, tell him." Something in Dash's voice made her look up sharply. "Trust me, Olivia. Nothing is worse than living with the knowledge that you never spoke up when you had the chance."

"You make it sound so simple."

"It is simple. It's we who make it complicated." He smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. "Don't waste your time hiding behind pride or fear or whatever else is holding you back. Not when you could be with the one you love."

He grew silent, and she wondered what memories haunted him. But before she could ask, he rose from the bench, his usual carefree manner sliding back into place.

"You should find him," he said, offering her his hand to help her up. "Tell him what you just told me."

She hesitated. "What if—"

"No what ifs." His smile was gentle now. "Go find your captain."

Watching Dash stroll away, she took a deep breath. He was right. No more running, no more hiding. It was time to tell Adrian how she felt. Hope that he still cared for her after everything. That last night had meant as much to him as it had to her.

A short while later, she stood before Adrian's door, her heart thundering in her chest. This morning, she'd fled this very room, terrified by the depths of her feelings. Now she was back, but this time she wasn't running. This time she would tell him everything—how she loved him, how she was sorry for hurting him, how she hoped he could forgive her.

After ensuring the corridor was empty—being caught at a gentleman's bedroom door would cause quite the scandal—she raised her hand and knocked softly.

No answer.

She knocked again, a little louder. "Adrian?"

Still nothing. Perhaps he wasn't in his room? She'd have to go look elsewhere, though the thought of seeking him out in more public areas of the house made her cheeks warm. But Dash was right. No more hiding.

She searched the library first, then the billiards room, even ventured near the stables thinking he might have gone riding. With every empty room, each shake of a servant's head, her anxiety grew.

"Miss Newton?"

She turned to find Richmond watching her, his ice-blue eyes unreadable. "My lord. I was actually looking for your brother."

"Ah." Something in his tone made her stomach clench. "I'm afraid Adrian left rather hastily about an hour ago. Said something about urgent business in London."

The words hit her like a physical blow. Left? But... last night... Surely she hadn't misunderstood so completely?

Unless...

Her legs felt suddenly unsteady as doubt crept in. Had this been his plan all along? One final act of revenge—to ruin her completely before abandoning her just as she'd abandoned him? The memory of his touch, of the tenderness in his eyes as he'd watched her fall asleep... had it all been part of the game?

She pressed a hand to her chest, trying to steady her breathing. How could she have been such a fool?

"Are you quite well?" Richmond's voice seemed to come from far away. "You've gone rather pale."

"I'm fine," she managed, though she felt anything but. "Just... surprised. He didn't mention any urgent business this morning."

Richmond's eyes narrowed slightly. "Did he not? How... curious."

She couldn't bear the knowing look in his eyes, couldn't stand here accepting his pity when her world was crumbling around her. "If you'll excuse me."

She didn't remember leaving Richmond, didn't recall how she found her way back to the gardens. But suddenly she was on the same bench where she'd sat with Dash earlier, his words echoing mockingly in her mind.

'If you love him, tell him.'

Too late now. He was gone.

She pressed her hands to her burning eyes. In New York, she'd run from him, and now he'd run from her.

'Don't waste time hiding behind pride or fear.'

But Adrian hadn't been hiding, had he? He'd been playing a game—one she'd fallen for completely. She'd given him everything last night—her body, her heart, her love. And he'd taken it all and walked away.

Just as he'd planned all along.

~~~~~~