Adrian woke with a groan, his body stiff and aching from a night spent in the hammock. It took him a moment to remember exactly why he wasn't in his bed, and when the memories of the previous evening came flooding back, he groaned again.

Olivia.

Olivia naked in his bed bar his coat. Olivia crying out as she came apart in his arms. He cursed under his breath, rubbing his closed eyes with the bottom of his palms as if it could somehow erase the memories. But it was no use. The images of her were seared into his memory, a brand he'd have to live with forever—the sight of her...the taste of her...the sound of her moaning his name. Dear god. What had he done?

And yet, he'd stopped. He'd pulled back from the brink, refusing to take that final, irrevocable step. Because as much as he wanted her, as much as his body cried out for her, he could not—would not—be her second choice.

Not again.

Never again.

If he was ever to have Olivia, it would be because she chose him. Fully, completely, without reservation. And that might never happen.

With a sigh, he swung his legs over the side of the hammock and ran a hand through his dishevelled hair. There was movement in the sleeping quarters, the soft rustle of fabric and the creak of floorboards. Olivia was awake, too.

Steeling himself, he stood and made his way over with his heart in his throat. It would be awkward between them after last night. How could it not be? But he couldn't avoid her any more than she could avoid him, so they had to find a way to navigate this new reality and continue on as captain and cabin boy until they reached New York.

He could do that. He had to.

When he entered, Olivia was already fully dressed, her hair tucked under her cap and her face carefully composed. But there were shadows under her eyes and a tightness around her mouth. She'd slept as poorly as he had. Somehow, that made him feel a little better.

"Good morning."

She glanced up at him, her stormy grey eyes unreadable. "Good morning, Captain."

The formality of her address stung like a slap. It was such a stark contrast to how she had used his name last night, a reminder of the distance that had sprung up between them in the hours between then and now. He swallowed hard, fighting the urge to reach for her. To bridge the gap.

But he couldn't. Not now. Not yet. Maybe never.

"I trust you slept well?" he asked, the banality of the question almost laughable in the face of all that had transpired.

A flicker of something passed over her face, gone too quickly to decipher. "Yes, thank you, Captain." Her tone was carefully neutral as if she was afraid to shatter the fragile truce between them. "And you?"

He shrugged, unwilling to admit how badly he'd slept. Their gazes met, and they stared at each other for a long moment, the air heavy with all the things unsaid. His fingers itched to touch her, to feel the warmth of her skin, the softness of her hair. But he curled them into fists at his sides, forcing himself to stay still.

"I should get to my duties," she said finally, breaking the charged silence.

He nodded and stepped aside to let her pass. As she brushed by him, he caught a whiff of her scent, the faint hint of rose water that always clung to her. His head spun, and his blood heated with the memory of her body writhing beneath his touch.

Gritting his teeth, he turned away, busying himself with finding his clothes. He had to focus and remember his responsibilities. He was the captain, and she was his cabin boy. Nothing more.

No matter how much his heart might wish otherwise.

The morning passed in a blur of activity. The familiar routines of shipboard life provided a welcome distraction from the turmoil in his mind. He moved about the deck, barking orders and overseeing the work of his crew, all while keeping a watchful eye on Olivia.

She went about her tasks with a determined efficiency, her head down and her shoulders set. To the casual observer, she was just a young lad learning the ropes of life at sea, but Adrian knew better. He could see the tension in her frame, the way her hands trembled slightly as she hauled on the lines.

And he wasn't the only one watching. As he made his rounds, he caught Mr Turner staring at her, his gaze dark and ominous. The bosun had been subdued since the confrontation last night, keeping to himself and avoiding any direct interaction with Olivia.

But there was something in his eyes, a glint of malice that set Adrian's teeth on edge. He knew Turner's type, and had seen it before in other men. The kind who saw women as objects to be used and discarded. Those who took perverse pleasure in the power they held over those physically weaker than themselves.

The thought of Turner looking at Olivia that way, of him knowing her secret...it made Adrian's blood boil. The intensity of his protective instincts towards Olivia surprised him. Despite his resolution to keep his distance, he was constantly aware of her presence, his eyes seeking her out across the deck. This urge to shield her, to keep her safe, warred with his determination to remain detached. It was becoming increasingly clear that his feelings for her weren't something that he could simply will away.

But first things first. He had to deal with Turner.

Catching Hawkins' eyes across the deck, Adrian jerked his head towards the quarterdeck. The first mate nodded, falling into step beside him as they made their way to a secluded spot out of earshot of the crew.

"About Turner," Adrian said without preamble, keeping his voice low. "I won't have a man like that on my ship. When we get to New York, we will need to find a new bosun. Or make our way back to England without one and find one there."

Hawkins's weathered face creased into a frown. "Aye, Captain. I've never particularly liked the man. We'll let him go once we reach New York."

"Yes, he can find his own way home." Adrian's jaw tightened and his hands clenched. "Until we make port, we have to ensure he doesn't bother Ol—Oliver."

"Absolutely, Captain." The first mate cleared his throat, not quite meeting Adrian's eyes. "About Oliver, Captain... What are you planning to do there?"

"Oliver was only ever travelling with us to New York." No matter how much he might want her to stay. "So there will be no issues with her presence on board. We just need to keep her identity a secret for another day at most. Then her reputation will be safe."

Hawkins nodded. "Not a problem. I won't squawk, and Tom is a good lad. He'd never utter a word without your say so."

Relief washed through Adrian, a weight lifting from his shoulders. With Hawkins on his side, he wasn't worried. The first mate was loyal, and he trusted him with his life.

"Forgive me for asking, Captain..." Hawkins glanced up at him. "How long have you known? About her true identity?"

He almost lied, but Hawkins deserved the truth. "Since the beginning. I recognised her the moment I saw her."

Hawkins's eyebrows shot up, surprise flickering across his weathered features. "And you let her stay? Knowing the risk?"

Running a hand through his hair, Adrian sighed. "I had my reasons," he muttered. "The Duchess of Winterbourne asked me to take her on. To keep her safe. I couldn't refuse, even though she could have damn well warned me about the disguise."

It was all true, but he wasn't willing to open up about the web of emotions and desires that had also driven him to keep Olivia close. How much he had enjoyed their chats and how she'd risen to every one of his challenges. But the first mate was no fool. He'd been at sea longer than Adrian had been alive and had been Adrian's first mate since he first stepped foot on the Amelia.

"You care for her," he said gruffly, his eyes knowing. "Don't you?"

His heart clenched, and a dull ache spread through his chest. He wanted to deny it. To brush off Hawkins's words as mere speculation. But he couldn't. Not when the truth was written all over him, etched into his very soul.

"I do," he admitted. "But it's complicated. She's chasing after another man. It's the whole reason she's aboard this ship in the first place. And I can't—won't—try to interfere with that. She has to make her choice."

Hawkins nodded, understanding softening his grizzled features. "I see."

The first mate had been there when Adrian first came aboard the Amelia. Heartbroken and bitter, and ready to leave everything behind. It had taken him quite some time to get over Catherine. For years, he'd been a rake, unwilling and uninterested in love, and then, one day, he'd met Catherine and everything had changed. It was the first time he'd considered marriage. To settle down and live his life with one woman and one woman only. For a while, he'd thought Catherine shared his feelings. But she had chosen another man.

"I don't want to go through that again." He sighed. "And yet, despite my best efforts, I can't seem to stop caring for her."

His eyes strayed to Olivia on the deck below. She stood by the railing with her face tilted toward the sun. For a moment, their eyes met, and then she turned away as if she couldn't bear looking at him. Her shoulders straightened, and she turned back to her work.

A hollow feeling spread behind his ribs. This was his future. No matter how much he might hope for a life with Olivia in it, it would never happen. She would choose Dash just like Catherine had chosen someone else over him.

It's why he had taken a step back. He was already too far gone, but maybe if he stayed away he could handle her leaving better than he had Catherine's. Last night had been a slip-up. A dangerous one. And he'd been so close to making Olivia his, but it would only ever have been temporary. He didn't want temporary. Not with her.

So it was better this way. Better to keep his distance and lock away his traitorous heart. He would bring her safely to New York and deliver her to Dash.

"You won't even fight for her?" Hawkins's gruff question brought him back to the present.

"What?" He scowled at the first mate, but knowing him for as long as he had, Hawkins was unperturbed.

"You've given up before the battle is over, Captain," Hawkins grunted. "I thought you were better than that."

Unable to do anything other than stare at the other man, Adrian shook his head. "Excuse me?"

"No disrespect meant, of course, Captain."

Adrian snorted. None at all. Clearly.

"I won't fight because there is no battle," he muttered. "She's made up her mind and I'm not it."

"You sure about that?" Hawkins crossed his arms over his chest. "I've seen the way she looks at you. Didn't make sense at first. I figured the young lad was just mighty impressed with his captain, but now I know who—what—she is...it makes perfect sense. She looks at you like you're her safe harbour in the storm. Like she trusts you more than anyone."

A shudder ran through him. A tremor of longing and fear. He wanted to believe Hawkins, he did, but he couldn't allow himself to.

"I...I can't."

"And why's that?" Hawkins mused. "What have you got to lose?"

My heart.

But who was he fooling? He'd lost his heart to Olivia some time ago. There was no going back now. He didn't want to be Olivia's second choice...but wasn't it better than never being with her at all? It didn't matter if she chose Dash in the end because he would be heartbroken in either case. At least if he fought for her, he'd know he'd done everything he could. The pain of regret, of always wondering 'what if', might be worse than the pain of rejection. And if there was even the slightest chance that Olivia might choose him...wasn't that worth the risk?

Hawkins grinned. "Is that a bit of fighting spirit I see in your eyes, Captain?"

"Perhaps, Hawkins. Perhaps."

"Good!" The first mate clapped a hand on his shoulder. "The heart's a funny thing. It has a way of surprising us when we least expect it. And you're a bigger man than one who will go down without a fight."

But time might not be on his side as a shout rang out from the crow's nest, the lookout's voice high and excited. "Land ho! Land ho!"

They were nearly there.

~~~~~~