Rule number one when it comes to one night stands: always use protection.

Muling kong sinampal ang mukha ko habang nakaharap sa salamin. You're so fucking stupid, Maria Xandra Sobrevega! What kind of a moron would let a stranger fuck her unprotected?!

Gigil na sinabunutan ko ang sarili ko. And that stupid opportunist asshole just came inside me! Anak ng putangina talaga! That moron who I don't even know the name could have impregnated me with his moronic sperms. Or he could have passed me a sexually transmitted disease knowing how slutty that man is. With my luck, I could be pregnant and with STD, who knows?

I opened the faucet and splashed cold water on my face. Matapos ang kagagahang ginawa ko ay agad din naman akong umuwi. And by agad I mean, I pulled my underwear up, run towards my bike and rode like a fucking maniac being chased by hungry monkeys. Or in my case, a handsome guy who nuts inside a stranger's vagina!

Renee, my best friend and housemate, was already sleeping when I came home last night. Thankfully. Dahil naiwasan kong mausisa kung bakit mukha akong harassed nang umuwi ako. I immediately took a shower, took an emergency contraceptive pill that my best friend always keeps on our first aid box and fell into a coma.

My phone woke me up the next day. Fifty missed calls along with a hundred angry messages from my boss slash cousin Aramis car racing god Sobrevega.

Nakalimutan kong he was supposed to test drive a car today and I was supposed to be there.

I apologized for my shitty professionalism, of course. But can't a stupid woman who had a one night stand with a stranger who nuts inside an unknown woman's vagina take a break?

Ugh! I should stop using those words! Muli kong hinilamusan ang malamig na tubig ang mukha ko hanggang sa tuluyan akong magising sa katotohanan. I just had a one night stand!!

Several raps on the bathroom door snapped me out of my trance.

"Are you in there, Max?!"

This is what I was dreading. I groaned. Napangiwi ako. My throat felt so dry.

"Max!"

Nakatirik ang mata na pinatay ko ang gripo saka nagtuyo ng mukha. "Just a sec, Ren."

"You better come out here fast!"

Lulugo lugo akong lumabas ng banyo. She was standing by the doorway with her arms crossed in front of her chest.

"Anong oras ka umuwi kagabi, ha?"

Hindi ako agad nakasagot. I need coffee stronger than life itself if I have to deal with Renée's mouth this early and in this level of hangover.

Tumuloy ako sa kusina ng apartment namin. Nagsalang ako ng kape sa coffee maker na binili ko noong isang araw matapos niyang masira ang huling coffee maker namin. Everything Renée touches, nasisira. Gulat nga ako hanggang ngayon buo pa ako. My best friend is a sunshine mixed with a little hurricane. No, let me scratch that. She's a fucking hurricane with a little sunshine. There. Better.

Sa kasamaang palad ay sumunod parin sakin si Renée. Ang laki laki ng apartment namin pero pinili niya talaga na sundan ako sa kusina.

"So, ano? May nangyari ba sa pagpapapansin mo sa tropa ng pinsan mo?"

I groaned, remembering RD. Alam kaya niya ang kababuyang naganap sa parking lot ng Remix kagabi? Oh shit.

"Sumagot ka d'yan, Maria Xandra--"

"Wala, okay?" tumukod ako sa counter dahil pakiramdam ko lasing parin ako.

"See? I told you--"

I leveled my best friend with a seriously? stare. In contrast to my dark looks, Renée is white as day. I'm more on the morena side, while Renée is mestiza. I have dark bluish hair that rests just above my shoulder while she had her long hair that stretches to her small waist bleached a few days ago. I'm hard as Renée is soft. Very feminine. Habang ako naman, I cannot say that I'm muscular, pero alaga sa gym ang katawan ko.

"Can we do this later? Seriously, I'm fucking smashed."

"What did you drink last night?" pinagkrus niya ang mga braso niya sa dibdib.

"Tequila." I answered. My face twisted in a grimace.

"Max!" alam ni Renée ang nangyari noon sa Desideria. Nandoon siya. Kaya alam niya ang epekto ng naturang inumin sa akin.

"Please, hun, not now." paungol na daing ko.

Ngumuso si Renée na parang bata. I smiled at her, moved closer and kissed her head. She's too cute for her own good. She's the type of woman that should be protected at all cost. At since walang jowa ang best friend ko, ako muna ang protector niya.

"Anong sabi ni Ram na hindi ka nakarating sa usapan?"

"Ano pa? Eh di nagalit," nakaupo na kami sa mesa noon. Nagkakape ako habang nanananghalian naman siya. "but he loves me. And my dad will hang him by the balls so he can't fire me."

Humagikgik si Renée. "Ship ko sana kayo kaso may asawa na siya."

Nanlaki ang mata ko sa sinabi niya. "He's my cousin! What the hell! You really have one disgusting imagination! That is so gross!"

Tatawa tawa paring tumayo siya mula sa mesa para hugasan ang pinagkainan niya. Renée may look like a matimtimang birhen pero napakafucked up ng mga ideas niya.

"Oh, remember what I told you last week about my cousin Cam?" she asked while she was still busy washing the dishes.

"Yeah? What about it?" pakunwaring tanong ko. Ang totoo ay hindi ko matandaan ang sinabi niya tungkol sa pinsan niya.

"Dadating siya mamaya,"

Wala sa sarili na tumango na lang ako. This house is Renée's as much as it is mine. We've been living together for four years. Simula nang mag migrate ang family ko sa states. Si Renée naman may issues sa bagong asawa ng daddy niya. We were both looking for places to stay back then. May nakita na akong bahay actually malapit sa tinitirhan ng pinsan kong si Ram when my bestfriend called me and said that one of our friends are planning on selling this house after nila makabili ng mas malaking bahay sa Cebu. And since this was too large for just one of us, she suggested that we buy it together. Since we were basically just always hanging out together anyway. And I figured, why not? So long as we both give each other privacy, everything's cool.

"Nahanda ko naman na yung guest room," patuloy ni Renée. "hihintayin ko siyang dumating bago ako pumunta sa shoot ko. Ikaw ba aalis ka?"

I shook my head. I'm too hung over to go anywhere. Itutulog ko na lang siguro muna ito. "I'll be in my room in case you need me."

"I really hate it when you drink," maktol ng best friend ko nang tumayo ako mula sa mesa para dumiretso sa kwarto ko. "You're no fun when you're hung over."

Nagflying kiss na lang ako sa kanya bago ako nagkulong sa kwarto. I'd be as useless sa the G in Lasagna today. Babawi na lang ako kay kuya Ram bukas.

Madilim na sa labas nang mapagdesisyunan kong lumabas ng kwarto. I heard someone came in a few minutes ago, malamang yung pinsan na ni Renée iyon. Hindi naman ako inabala ng best friend ko, siguro iniisip niyang tulog pa ako.

I put on a hoodie and my boxer shorts before coming out. I slept with only my undies on. Ayoko namang maeskandalo ang pinsan ni Renée kung sa unang pagkikita pa lamang namin ay ipa-flash ko na agad siya.

Nagtuloy ako sa kitchen ngunit hindi ko nakita ang magpinsan doon. Maybe she was touring her around.

I was standing on the doorway with a mineral bottle on my hand when I saw a familiar vehicle in our driveway. We have a really big one dahil pinatanggal namin ang pool na nasa bungad mismo noon ng bahay. Working as a mechanic, I needed a huge space for vehicles I am working on. Although bihira akong tumanggap ng trabaho dito sabay dahil may garage si kuya Ram kung saan talaga ako nagtatrabaho.

Nasa harapan ko ang pulang Mazda Miata ko, katabi noon ang Lexus ni Renée at ang Kawasaki z900 ko. And behind that is a familiar GMC Sierra...

Holy fucking shit!

I tossed the empty mineral bottle aside and strode towards the truck. Hindi ko gaanong natandaan ang plate number ng truck na iyon kagabi but I'm pretty sure.. Oh god. I started dry heaving. Tila ba naimagine kong muli ang sarili ko. Bent on the white hood of the truck being thoroughly fucked. Oh hell no! This is so not happening!

Please let this truck belong to someone else!

"Hey, Max, gising ka na pala!"

I whirled around just in time for Renée to emerge out of the front door.

"Ano bang ginagawa mo d'yan and what are you wearing? Magbihis ka nga, Cam's here."

As if on cue, lumabas din mula sa pinto ng bahay ang isang matangkad at matipunong lalaki. He was wearing a white button down shirt tucked in a dark gray slacks. His hair was slicked back as opposed to the messy do he had on last night. He looked as shocked as I was at the moment. Pucha! Kung mamalasin ka nga naman!

"Come, ipapakilala kita sa kanya," narinig kong sabi ni Renée sa pinsan niya habang hila hila niya ito papalapit sa kinatatayuan ko.

Biglang tila bata na naconscious ako sa sarili ko. Here's the guy who I just had a one night stand with--literally--looking like a fucking snack in his decent clothes while I look like a homeless person who probably still have dried drool across her face.

"Max, this is Cameron, pinsan ko,"

I tried to hide my surprise. "I thought your cousin was a girl?" tanga ba ako na papayag tumira ang pinsan niya dito kung alam ko lang na lalaki pala?!

Renée giggled and slapped Cam's arm. "I told you, you and Taylor have girly names!"

"It's not a girly name," he growled.

Damn if that sound didn't send a vibration towards my--shit! What am I thinking? This is the moron who nutted on my vagina! I should be hammering his balls right now!

"By the way, this is Max," my best friend.

He was the first one to move. He took a step towards me and offered his hand. It was weird. Dahil hindi ko makita ang kapilyuhan sa mga mata niya gaya ng kagabi. It was almost as if he was embarrassed. Hindi nga siya halos makatingin sa akin. Look at me moron! I wanna see those eyes! Gusto kong tusukin ang mga matang yon! But instead I took his hand and shook it firmly like the sport that I am.

"Nice to meet you." kumunot ang noo ko nang mapansing namumula ang mukha niya.

"Same here." I said through gritted teeth.